Operation: Cannot Possibly Fail
by xTroubleisaFriend
Summary: Eric wants, no, NEEDS to follow Kyle to NYC for college - his life depends on it. And what better way to do that than to start with some tutoring?; A collaborative fic, Cartman/Kyle, M for language and sexual situations. "Complete" - see profile for info.
1. May 10th

**A/N:** OK! This is the first part to our RP – as in, one writer writes for Eric and the other writes for Kyle, and we go back and forth. We've gone through an editing process to make this read more like a fanfic and a bit less like an RP, so we hope everything flows alright. Changes in POV are marked with ellipses (…), but eventually it should be easy to tell who's writing what. Umm, that's really all you need to know going in. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part One – Monday, May 10th

Kyle was picking at his food, totally removed from the conversation going on at the lunch table. It was May and everyone was already getting antsy, counting down the days until summer. For most of the kids in his class, it meant months of free time, summer jobs, and lazy afternoons spent enjoying the rare warm weather. For him, it meant filling out college applications, getting in some last minute volunteer work, and patiently waiting for his score on the SATs, which he was taking in June.

It wasn't completely by choice. His mother had a lot to do with it… but he would be lying if he said he wasn't already desperately excited to get out of South Park. And really, it didn't hurt to be thinking about colleges already. In some ways, the impending freedom was what kept him going.

_Only one more year, _he thought as he looked around at the people gathered around him. Some of them he loved, like his best friend Stan. Others were childhood friends who he only talked to during school. And then there was the brunet sitting at the far end of the table, who was just… well, one of the reasons Kyle wanted to get out. His eyes narrowed at the boy and he suddenly felt the need to get a head start on his applications.

"I think I know where I want to go for college," he blurted out to no one in particular.

…

Kenny, who had been secretly stealing French fries off of Eric's enormous plate of food, quickly devoured one before peering back to Kyle. Swallowing the spicy fry, he perked up excitedly and said, "That's awesome, Kyle! Which one do you think it's going to be?"

Eric coughed before jokingly adding under his breath, "…Jewliard." Kenny narrowed his eyes in aggravation as he purposely grabbed a handful of Eric's fries and shoved them in his mouth.

…

"Um…" Kyle shifted in his seat, uncomfortably aware that everyone was looking at him now. "Well. I mean… somewhere far away from here. Like on the east coast, probably."

"Oh, definitely!" Wendy said from her spot next to Stan. "Personally, I'm applying to all Ivy Leagues, so obviously the east is where to go. I think my first choice is Yale, but I wouldn't mind Brown. Which one's _your_ first, Kyle?"

He sighed. _Of course_ Wendy was way ahead of him and already had her list mapped out. He saw that Stan was looking at her like she sprouted another head. Apparently, her college plans were news to him.

"Well, I don't know about the Ivy League," he said, blushing a little, though he wasn't sure why. Kyle didn't like to compete with Wendy, really, but he felt stupid now that he knew she expected him to be applying to the same schools she was. "I was thinking… I kind of like NYU."

Wendy raised an eyebrow at him in surprise, so he quickly added, "But I like Columbia too, so-"

"Oh yeah, that's a great school!" she interrupted excitedly, and launched into a monologue about academics and student body. He zoned out rather quickly, now kind of regretting saying anything.

…

Kenny had been listening to Wendy predictably brag about the schools she wanted to apply to, but as soon as he got the chance he broke her line of speech to blurt out excitedly, "That's great, Kyle!"

"At least _you'll_ be able to escape this hell hole," he continued, looking down apprehensively. "But if you get in," he laughed nervously and lifted his head, "I'll sure miss you."

"Eh, don't get your panties in a bunch Ken," Eric spoke out after he scooted his tray far away from the fry-stealing blond, a couple heads turning to where the voice sounded from. "A little Mountain Jew like Kyle couldn't manage to survive for long that far away from his nest."

He then took a sip of his Vanilla Coke as he stared down the scowling redhead across the table. "Even if you do get accepted," he added sardonically, lowering his eyelids, "you'll be back."

…

"Thanks for that lovely piece of encouragement, Cartman," Kyle said, voice dripping with sarcasm. This was _exactly_ why he should have kept his mouth shut. "But I don't plan on coming back to this place. Ever."

He shot apologetic looks to both Stan and Kenny before continuing.

"Though _some_ people are welcome to visit me, of course. _When_ I get accepted."

He glared at Cartman, feeling as though it was worth getting into NYU and graduating in four years just to prove him wrong. Or Columbia, for the added bonus of staying on Wendy's level.

"Besides, I would have thought you'd _love_ to see me in New York, fatass," he added, cocking an eyebrow. "That's where all the Jews are, right? It's practically _destiny_."

…

Eric let out a hearty laugh as he kept direct eye contact with his feisty opponent. "Real cute, Jewface, but that's hardly a reason for me to visit that overrun immigrant city. It's bleeding with die hard liberals just like you and practically everyone else here."

He peered around the table before sighing. "Besides! Like your bitch of a mother would let you live somewhere where she couldn't breathe down your neck every waking hour of the day." He slammed his coke down. "Wake up Kyle, it's just not going to happen."

"Eric!" Kenny shouted, furrowing his brow in anger. "Just because you have no plans with your dead end life doesn't mean you get to be harsh about Kyle's ambitions! And I think you're wrong anyway! Kyle's mom is probably the one who would encourage him the _most_ to go live somewhere else!"

Eric slid his eyes over to glare at his blond friend, nearly crushing the Coke can in his hand as he smirked. "And you, Ken? Pray tell, how do _you_ plan on making a living after you squeeze by high school with your 2.0 GPA?" He closed his eyes as he boasted, "I certainly have plans… plans that haven't materialized yet but… still there."

His eyes quickly darted back to Kyle, seemingly dripping with premise. "You can't blame me for showing some," he held back a chortle, "_genuine concern _over what you eventually do with your life, can you Kyle?"

…

Kyle couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh, Cartman, you misunderstood me," he said, trying to plaster a sympathetic look on his face. "I didn't mean _you_ could visit me. So you don't _have_ to worry about immigrants and liberals."

He took a sip from his bottle of water and shared an amused grin with Stan before looking back toward Cartman.

"But you're right. My mom probably doesn't want me to go so far away… But I think she wants me to go to a great school _just a little_ more than she wants me to stay in this town," he added. "So somehow I think she'd give me her ok."

He ran a hand through his hair, thinking about how badly he hoped he was right about his mom. She better not put up a fuss about him leaving. Because he planned on doing it no matter what, and he _really_ didn't want to piss her off.

"As for your _genuine concern_, I think I can do without it, thanks."

…

Kenny butted in before Eric could give a response, "No Kyle, she'd totally be okay with it. Just talk her through your plans and you'll see. She'll rally behind your decision in no time." He then absentmindedly reached over to grab another fry before realizing the fat ass moved them away. "Just make sure to call her," he finished, folding his arms into his chest to hide his gurgling stomach.

Sick of this conversation already, Eric began to gather his things as he shot Kyle his closing remarks, "Well I'm hurt Kyle, I truly am." He pushed back his chair as he cast Kyle an apathetic look. "I was just trying to get you to put your aspirations into perspective and, of course, you had to jump all over me with your self-righteous bull crap."

He stood up quickly, swinging his bag over his shoulder as he growled, "Whatever, Jew, just don't throw a temper tantrum when you realize you're nothing but a redneck douchebag to the lot of 'em."

Kicking the back of his only true friend's chair, Eric growled '_Butters…'_ before making his way out of the cafeteria.

Butters, who has been silent this whole time, timidly peered to Kyle as he remarked, "I think it's great that you have such big dreams." He quickly got out from his seat, knowing Eric wanted him to follow as he hurriedly gathered his things. "Don't let anything get in your way, Kyle. Really," he smiled before rushing off to join his friend.

…

"What an asshole," Kyle muttered, going back to his lunch.

But what if Cartman was right? There was a strong possibility that if he went to New York, he would be singled out as a hick. He could only imagine how different his style and mannerisms were from those of city people. But… he couldn't be the _only_ one from a small mountain town who hoped to end up in the city, right? There was Wendy, for one.

He suddenly realized his appetite was gone. _Fucking fatass_. He pushed his tray down the table toward Kenny.

"Here you go, Ken," he said, "I'm not that hungry."

Glaring distractedly across the cafeteria, he continued to dwell on what Cartman had said. _No,_ he thought. _I can't let him get to me. I can do what I want. And screw anyone who says otherwise._

But despite his attempts to get the fatass' taunts off his mind, he continued to fume in silence for the rest of the lunch period.

…

"Eric! You really should be ashamed of yourself!" Butters called out as he finally caught up to Eric. The larger boy continued to scowl down the hallway. "Kyle seemed so happy about going to college and all… why did you shoot down his dreams?"

"Because, **Butters**…" Eric growled, stopping in the middle of the hallway before grabbing a hold of the scared blond's shirt and crashing him against a locker. "_Why don't you tell me_?" A couple people were watching them, but didn't care enough to intervene.

Butters desperately gripped onto the hand currently holding him against the cold metal as he dared to look up into his enraged friend's eyes. He noticed the lack of color in them as he muttered, "I…I really don't know…"

"Well you should!" Eric perked up, suddenly letting Butters go as he turned to continue his walk down the hall. He sounded almost amused as he puffed, "Stairwell."

Butters massaged his neck back to order as he coughed, "Are we having one of those 'talks' again?" He slowly proceeded to follow the brunet.

"Something like that," Eric said as he opened the door to the empty stairwell. He ambled over to one of the stone steps and plopped down. As soon as Butters timidly walked through the door himself, Eric took a deep breath and got to his main point: "I can't let him move away from here."

"Well that's awfully selfish of you," Butters yelled down to the seated boy, crossing his arms in anger. "I would have thought you would have wanted him to-"

"Butters," Eric interrupted, glaring up at him with a dark glare as his eyelids narrowed sinisterly, "do you remember how many times you've helped me save his life?"

Nervously taking a step back from where he was standing, Butters looked to the ceiling, mentally recalling all the times he assisted Eric in his secret quests to assist his nemesis. "Um… more than I can count now?"

"Exactly," Eric emphasized, bringing his head into his hands and sighing, "he can't move."

He gripped onto his brown tufts in exasperation as he raised his voice, "I've fought too hard to keep him here; he can't leave me like this he **can't**!" He started to madly skim over ideas of how he could solve this seemingly unsolvable dilemma.

Peering down at his deeply disturbed friend, Butters closed his eyes in determination and took in a large breath. "Eric… if I may," he exhaled, finally gaining the courage to confront Eric with something he'd been meaning to talk to him about, "I just think… it might be time for you to start thinking about what **you** want to do with the rest of your life." He paused to anxiously look down at his seething friend – no response. Feeling a tad more annoyed, Butters spoke out again with more irritation in his voice, "I mean, you can't just expect Kyle to stay here… and quite frankly I think your obsession with him has gotten a little-"

"So wait…" Eric suddenly spoke up, taking his hands off of his head as he quirked an eyebrow questioningly, "you're saying that I should start looking at colleges with him?"

"Well, not necessarily _with him_, but yeah!" Butters perked up, happy that Eric was getting his point. "You should totally think about what colleges you want to get into…" But he trailed off as he remembered that Eric probably needed to focus more on his school work for that to happen. So with his enthusiasm flagging somewhat, Butter's hands dropped to his sides as he nervously added, "But I think… your grades need to improve a little."

"Wait… just wait a second, Butters…" Eric kept his focus on the ground in front of him as a brilliant plan started to formulate in his head. "I think you're onto something."

He suddenly cracked a smile.

Butters reciprocated the smile as he brought his hands up to praise, "Yes! Please! Think about yourself! You don't need Kyle –"

"That's right!" Eric interrupted him, suddenly getting out of his seat to pace the floor. "I _don't_ need Kyle to stay here! Butters…" He quickly gripped onto his equally happy friend as he announced, "If can get my grades up, maybe I can go to the same college_ as_ Kyle!"

As elated as Butters felt two seconds ago, he felt equally as disturbed as soon as Eric revealed his plan. "What? No! That's – that's not what I meant!" he shook his head as he explained to the bewildered brunet above him. "I meant that if you get your grades as high as Kyle's, you might be able to –"

"BUTTERS YOU'RE A GENIUS!" Eric suddenly threw Butter's off of him as he laughed. "I can get _Kyle_ to help me get my grades up!"

However, he realized that it would be quite a challenge to get that to happen – so taking his chin into his hand, Eric stroked his jaw line as he thought out loud, "It'll take some convincing, but he's always out to do the better thing, and if I tell him I'm really serious about this he'll be sure to believe me… I just won't reveal what college I want to go to until he decides which college _he_ wants to apply to…" He rolled his eyes upwards in contemplation as he played out the scenario in his head.

Brushing himself off after Eric's shove, Butters peered back to his friend in annoyance as he shouted, "No Eric! Just do your own thing!"

Turning around to grasp at his friend's shaking body once more, Eric looked straight into Butter's baby blue eyes as he spieled, "This _is_ my own thing; this has been the answer all along."

Instantly bringing his head down to peck his bewildered friend's cheek, Eric threw the blond off of him again as he stormed up the stairs. "Thank you Butters! I've got to get to class! I just _know_ that Jew will be in the Library at the end of school!" he cheered excitedly before disappearing into the third floor.

Watching as his friend disappeared up the stairwell, Butters brought his hand up to his cheek to touch the spot where Eric kissed him. He then looked to the ground in frustration as he too stormed out of the now silent stairwell.

…

One of the many things that annoyed Kyle about his school was that it was a county high school – Middle and North Park kids went there too, and, to be fair to everyone, the school was situated in Middle Park. This meant that it was too far away for him walk home. And, naturally, his mother didn't want him driving around getting into car accidents, so he lacked a car. It was really an annoying situation. Stan had a car, of course, but he also played on two different sports teams.

Long story short, Kyle spent a lot of time in the library after school waiting for Stan to get out of practice. Of course, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing – he got a lot done and it was the only time he ever got any peace and quiet. No nagging mother, no asshole fatasses, no stupid teachers and imbecilic classmates. It was just him, his homework, and, today, his laptop. Really, it wasn't a bad thing at all for the most part. Sometimes he even got some writing done, though it wasn't the kind of thing he would ever tell anyone about – let alone show them.

So today, as usual, he situated himself in the back of the library behind the bookshelves…. as far away as he could possibly get from any other human being that should happen to come in. Stan had football until five-thirty and Wendy had a National Honor Society meeting (she was the president, of course) – which meant he had at least two hours of complete alone time before he had to deal with their mushy relationship crap and then go home to his family.

Really, when all was said and done, it would be the highlight of his day.

…

The final class period had ended, most of the school let out, and Eric knew exactly where he was going.

Rushing down the flights of stairs to get to the first floor, Eric ran down the hall to get the place where he knew his Jew to be. To be honest, Eric only ever went to the Library to get books on some of his 'favorite' subjects and to use the school's free internet. However, there was one other reason he visited the Library, and that was to spy on that pesky redheaded bookworm.

Eric knew that Kyle _liked_ to believe he was secluded back where there were a couple of seats behind the last aisle of bookshelves, but the brunet discovered his little hiding place a long time ago when he was searching for the World War II archives.

The first time Eric found him back there, it almost took his breath away – it was as though he discovered some sort of wild animal huddled in the back of a hidden cave. Ducking behind one of the bookshelves, sometimes Eric would just sit there, watching him – wondering what he was studying for, what he was thinking about… if it was ever about him. Sometimes Eric liked to imagine that he did think about him – so much so, that when Kyle would occasionally doze off in one of those comfy seats, Eric would actually dare to walk over… just so that he could get a closer look at him, sleeping so peacefully. The one time though, when he attempted to reach his hand out to graze Kyle's cheek, he almost woke up – and Eric bolted away before Kyle realized that his secret place was compromised.

However, now Eric was finally going to let Kyle know that he knew of his little base, and as he stormed past the plethora of computers, desks, and bookshelves – Eric could see the all too familiar nook where he knew Kyle to be.

Slowing down his pace to a stroll, Eric collected himself before ducking behind the usual corner – peering carefully over to the stately chair where Kyle sat.

And there he was! Typing away at his computer, writing God knows what as he _so comfortably_ assumed that he was indeed _alone_.

Smirking to himself, Eric gained the courage necessary to emerge out of his hiding place. He snuck up behind Kyle soundlessly as he narrowed in on what his Jew was writing.

As he came to stand directly behind Kyle, Eric cracked a devious smile, reading out the last line of what the Jew had written: _"…__it seemed like a dream she once had but could never remember, something intangible –"_

…

Kyle jumped despite himself and slammed his laptop closed before whipping around to come face to face with the absolute _last_ person he wanted to see.

"What the hell do _you_ want?" he said, voice cracking slightly from embarrassment. He could feel his face burning up, and he decided that maybe he should just stick to homework from now on. After all, the library _was_ still a public place to the student body, as much as he liked to pretend it was his own personal office space. "God, can't you back off _EVER_? You have _no right_ to come sneaking around here invading my privacy."

He turned back around and crossed his arms. Cartman never ceased to amaze him with his uncanny ability to humiliate him, even after all these years. Of all people to catch him writing. _Of all people_.

"Why aren't you leaving, Cartman?" he muttered angrily, not bothering to look back at the boy.

…

"Because! I'm impressed with the little story you're writing!" He swung around to sit on the arm of the chair Kyle was sitting on. Leaning in closer, he continued to tease, "Don't you want some input? Especially now that you want to go off to some East Coast college where their criticism will probably send you to a heap of emotional garbage?"

He smirked, knowing this was driving Kyle crazy. "You already hate me enough, it's not like anything I say about your writing will make you hate me more…"

…

"Shut the fuck up, Cartman," Kyle said, elbowing Cartman in the side as hard as he could in an attempt to get him off of his chair. "You're right; _nothing_ you can say will make me hate you more. My opinion of you can't possibly go any lower. So you're just wasting your time here. Go give someone else your _input_ and leave me alone."

…

"Hrgh!" Eric fumbled off the chair, massaging his aching side as he choked out, "Typical nonsense. I could tell at the lunch table that what I said about you moving to the East Coast got to you… I made sense didn't I?"

He kept his gaze focused directly on the redhead as he narrowed his eyes. "Why don't you give me some fucking credit… as much as I love to see you suffer, I also love to see you _fight_. And you don't have a _fighting chance _out there if you don't think about what you're doing."

He stood up straight, ready to move onto his main point as he smirked, "I'm actually thinking about what colleges _I_ want to go to."

…

Kyle looked up at the larger boy and narrowed his eyes.

"Oh, really?" he asked, completely confident that Cartman was up to something. "Where? Denver Community College? Or… ITT Tech maybe?"

He smirked. Two could play at this game. If Cartman could shit all over his future, then he could do the same to any ambitions that asshole might have. He wasn't about to show that what Cartman had said at lunch _might_ have gotten to him. Especially since _he_ was the one who actually had a future.

…

Oh Eric knew that Kyle was just trying to be the smug little ass face that he likes to _think _he could be. But to Eric, his comment was nothing more than a little Jew Princess jab that, if anything, amused him to no end.

"Oh Kyle, wouldn't that just titillate you so?" he circled Kyle's chair ravenously as he maintained eye contact with the Jew's defiant green orbs. "Seeing me at ITT tech… training to be your plumber?" He puffed at how ridiculous that sounded. Shaking his head in disappointment, Eric closed his eyes before continuing. "However, no. I have other plans, plans that actually… could benefit you as well… if you care to listen to them."

He perked his brow, trying to convince Kyle that he was actually worth listening to.

…

Well, this much was obvious: Cartman wasn't planning on leaving him alone any time soon. Kyle found himself wishing in vain that Stan's practice would let out _really_ early.

"Fine. Tell me about your little _plan_, Cartman," he said, rolling his eyes. He normally didn't like to encourage his nemesis whenever the word 'plan' was involved – because it always meant something bad that would do anything _but_ benefit Kyle. Cartman probably had some master plan to weasel himself into Harvard by lying or blackmailing admissions counselors – and if it came down to it, Kyle could find a way to stop him. But… he was also, admittedly, just a little curious.

…

_Yes!_ Eric thought to himself. An ecstatic but evil grin stretched across his face as he knelt down in front of Kyle's chair. Now staring at his Jew at eye level, he spoke, "Ok Kyle, hear me out." He closed his eyes, gripping both arms of the chair as he loomed over the non-phased Jew.

"I know, and you know, that my grades are not as high as they could be." He opened his crazed eyes again, his smile further conveying his maniacal nature. "And to get into the colleges that I want to get into, I'm going to have to start to shape up my GPA for the competition, _na klar_?"

Lowering his head down ever so slightly, Eric continued to speak directly at his Jew, his eyes becoming devious slits. "And _you_, my dear Kyle, need to shape up for the assholes that you're going to be facing once you get to the college that _you _want to get to."

He let Kyle think about that for a moment, before standing back up to finish. "So what I'm trying to get at is… you be my tutor, and I'll give you the practice necessary to take on those elitist scumbags who are going to be edging for the opportunity to attack you until you're nothing but a _cowering lump of flesh_!" he bit off the end of his sentence, his gaze as hysterical as ever as he impatiently waited for an answer.

…

Kyle thought about Cartman's proposal for a minute… On the one hand, having to deal with Eric Cartman on a regular basis again probably _would_ help him out later when he had to face criticism from professors who actually knew what they were doing. Sometimes he did think he'd gotten soft in his years of actively avoiding Cartman when he could. On the other hand… he'd have to deal with Eric Cartman on a regular basis… which is probably the worst way to spend his remaining time in South Park.

However… the asshole was giving him an amazing opportunity to be overly critical of his work _and_ he'd have access to all of Cartman's terrible grades. This could prove to be very fun, if he handled it correctly. Cartman was giving him permission to make him feel stupid. And that was pretty appealing.

But then again, Cartman had that bat shit crazy look in his eyes that said 'I have something much bigger planned and you won't like it'… which made Kyle think that the cons would probably end up far outweighing the pros if he agreed to do this.

"Give me one good reason why I should help you," he said finally. "Preparing me for college… that's bullshit and you know it. Why should _I _put effort into helping _you _get into college when I don't give a fuck about what you do after this?"

…

"Oh but you do care about what I do after this, Kyle," Eric snarled, maintaining his ground as he lifted his head, "I'd argue that you care significantly!"

Narrowing in on Kyle's flared eyes, Eric didn't miss a beat as he spoke out confidently, "How would you feel if your tutoring alone brought my GPA up so high that your teachers took note of this, and would give you the recommendations necessary to complete your applications? Or have you forgotten that colleges are now looking for an amount of community service within prospective students' applications?"

"But besides all that, wouldn't it just feel wonderful?" Eric instigated, stretching out his arms. "Knowing that your smarts alone turned the renegade deviant of the school into something the facility would be _proud_ to show off to the colleges I apply to?"

…

…He had a point.

There was no denying that it would look good on applications if his tutoring showed a marked improvement in Cartman's grades. He supposed it would count as a type of volunteer work, too. Or at the very least, he could write in his personal statement that his horrible experience tutoring a 'renegade deviant' helped him grow as a human being.

"There's like a month left of school, Cartman, I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do for you in that time," he said, and then he smirked maliciously at the other boy. "Or do you need help with _summer school_?"

Then, for a reason he couldn't entirely explain, he felt bad for being hard on Cartman – he was, in his own fucked up way, just asking Kyle for help after all. Kyle sighed and rested his chin on the palm of his hand. He tried to search Cartman's face for his trademark deception, but it was so hard to tell with him.

"Look, Cartman," he said with all seriousness, "I _might_ consider this if you're actually serious about it. It's honestly really late to realize that your grades aren't getting you anywhere… but I guess better late than never, right? If you _really_ want to go college and you _really_ want to get your ass in gear… I _suppose_ I could help. But if you slack off or complain AT ALL, you're on your own."

…

Feeling an enormous weight lift off of his shoulders, Eric stared at Kyle incredulously. He was amazed at himself that this actually worked!

"Really? I mean…" he corrected his surprise immediately, putting up a non-phased expression. "That's so awesome, I had a feeling this would work out for the best!"

He still caught himself showing too much excitement, so he hardened up. "But it's really more for _you_, Kyle," he said, glancing over again and crossing his arms into his chest. "Consider this a favor. It's not every day that I would come asking for your help – so stroke your ego while you can." He walked over so that he was parallel to Kyle's seat.

"And who knows," he teased, daring to poke Kyle's bicep, "maybe you'll learn one or two things yourself." He peered down at his Jew again and his eyes brightened ever so slightly, involuntarily revealing some of his autumn-brown wisps. "So when do we start?"

…

"Well… I'm here 'til Stan gets out of practice, so… if you aren't doing anything, I guess you could fill me in on what you need help with," Kyle said, sitting stiffly in his chair as he motioned for Cartman to take the seat next to him. "And don't touch me."

He took a notebook out of his backpack and opened to a new page. If Cartman was staying, he would make a sort of to do list for them. If not, he would just get started on his chemistry homework.

"And hey," he said, meeting the other boy's gaze, "I'm considering this a favor _to you_, not me. But I think it's cool of you to take a step in the right direction."

…

Kyle's little compliment actually caused Eric to blush somewhat and he looked away to hide his embarrassment. It was actually surreal of him to actually see Kyle act _nicely_ towards him. A part of him actually liked it – but it was a part of him that needed to _shut up_ so that he could make this plan actually _work _instead of _fail miserably _if he accidently freaked Kyle out or something.

"Yeah, well, I guess I have nothing really planned for now anyway."

He stepped over to sit next to Kyle and rested his elbow on the armrest, carefully making sure his other hand wasn't near the redhead as he began, "I'm okay in my History and German classes… but I'm doing piss poor in my Math course and my Science grade could use improving."

He watched as Kyle studiously started writing things down, focusing in on his rustled up red locks, wanting to touch them so badly. He swallowed a lump of need. "I have a solid 3.0 right now, but I know if I get it up to a 3.5 or something I might have a chance," he finally said, shifting around to hide his arousal as he continued to watch Kyle so diligently plan out their tutoring session – obviously having no idea what this was doing to him.

…

Kyle couldn't help but laugh and smile sadly at the brunet. "Cartman… it's impossible to bring your GPA up that much. Even if you decided to take a year off before college, three semesters isn't enough to bring it up half a grade point, and this semester's practically over, so…"

He stopped, observing how the other boy's face fell just slightly.

"But, colleges love to see improvement. Especially if it's drastic. We might not be able to help your GPA that much, but your transcript will reflect that you at least tried. And if you can swindle a couple of good recommendations out of your German and History teachers, and manage an impressive SAT score you could definitely have a chance at some good schools. Not the best, but good," he said, putting as much encouragement in his voice as he could manage.

He knew Cartman wasn't stupid, and despite how much he detested him, he couldn't help but feel that it was such a waste that the kid slacked off so much. Cartman had so much potential – he had seen firsthand what he could do if he set his mind to something, and as much as he always whole-heartedly disagreed with what Cartman did, it was often quite a feat.

"Ok… I guess we should start with your math. First off, do you not understand the subject? Or do you just not want to try?" he asked. Knowing Cartman, it was the latter.

…

Hearing Kyle's honest reply certainly put Eric in perspective, but he still wouldn't give up on the plan. So with fierce determination, Eric sat up straight and exhaled, "It's not that I don't try, it's more that I don't understand how the equations turn out the way they do. Algebra's fine, but this pre-cal stuff? I just don't know where it came from. It's like... I missed something."

"And I really want to be able to fix what I missed because I feel like if I understand that part, that I can move on," he explained, content as all hell that Kyle was listening. "Because I really want to go to a good college... a great one even." He didn't want Kyle to catch on, so to say, but he definitely wanted him to know that he meant serious business.

…

Kyle was kind of impressed with Cartman's apparent honesty. Actually admitting that he messed up and felt lost rather than claiming the teacher was out to get him? Of course, it certainly wasn't the first time he'd confessed that he wasn't the best at something – he'd done it before, but it was always a lie or an attempt to get something he wanted. And Kyle couldn't really tell if he was being honest now. He'd never been good at seeing through Cartman's bullshit.

So naturally, he assumed that Cartman was full of bullshit, just in case. He was positive that Cartman was trying to screw him over – he just didn't know how yet. But somehow, a small part of him believed that maybe, _just maybe_, Cartman really did want to improve.

"Ok… let me guess, you got lost on limits," he said, not asking so much as assuming that was the problem. He began writing down equations, explaining them as he went. Completely focused on the math, he absentmindedly played with a lock of his hair with his free hand.

…

Eric couldn't bullshit around with this one; yeah he could blame the teacher and make up a bunch of excuses as to why he sucked – but the point of this whole thing was that he really did need help if he wanted to get into the college that Kyle wanted to get into. So no excuses, no lies; he really did need to be honest with Kyle if this was going to work.

But this didn't mean he couldn't have some fun.

So after Kyle went over some of the harder concepts he couldn't grasp, Eric said, "This is great, Kyle. I'm already learning so much." He glanced over as Kyle continued to twirl that one freaking curl of hair over and over again… God he wanted to feel how soft it was. He could tell it was so springy and… God if he could grab it now… run his fingers through the rest of them…

God damn it he needed to focus! This was only the first session!

"But," he forced himself to continue, covering his 'excitement' with his notebook, "I was wondering, honestly… what college are you really thinking of applying to? Like, your number one?" He really wanted to see what school he had to fight to get into as he then questioned, "Do you really think you'll have what it takes?"

…

"Oh, uh," Kyle said, snapping out of his math-focused stupor. "Like I said at lunch, when you so _graciously_ gave me your blessing…" He gave Cartman a pointed look that told him he hadn't forgotten how much of an asshole he'd been earlier. "I've been looking at NYU for a while. I really just want to get out of Colorado, so I'm applying to schools all over the place, but New York seems just… really appealing. I think I can find other people like me more easily in a big city. And I really just need something more my speed. This town is like, rotting my brain more and more with every day I spend here."

He fiddled with his pen, not making eye contact with Cartman. "I think people expect me to reach for the stars or whatever. Like, you saw Wendy earlier – how she acted when I said NYU, as if it's some shitty two-year community college. My mom's the same way. But, sue me if I don't want to go to an Ivy League. I want to have a life outside of school, you know? NYU is like the perfect blend. It's a really great and selective school, but it won't like… suck the life out of me."

He laughed a bit, realizing how stupid he must sound. And Cartman probably didn't _really_ care what he wanted for his future – the fatass was probably just bored of calculus and already looking for a distraction from his tutoring.

"But that's not important," he concluded quickly. "Are you starting to understand the math a little better?"

…

Eric was actually deeply engrossed in Kyle's speech, making sure to listen to every word so that he could get a feel for what his Jew really wanted. If he was going to make this work, he needed to convince Kyle that he was just as enthused about his own future as Kyle was with his.

"Yeah, I really think I do, honestly," he confirmed, worriedly thinking back to what Kyle said about Ivy League schools and knowing for a fact that he couldn't make it into one of them. "And you're so right about those Ivy League schools. I mean, you really don't need them. Besides, as I said, they're filled with egotistic assholes who would gladly cut your throat if you get in their way."

But Eric wasn't necessarily sure that he could make it into NYU even, so with a deep breath, he collected his bag and groaned, "New York however… I still don't think you'll be ready for it."

He then looked down at the Jew and added, "You do have a tendency to fly off into Jew Princess tantrums, and if you can't handle insults, well, then, New York City is no place for you." He harrumphed. "Especially in that kind of environment… they'd eat you for breakfast."

…

"God damn it, Cartman, I'm not a princess!" Kyle yelled, standing up. Then he remembered he was in a library and blushed a bit.

He crossed his arms, eyes narrowing. "I don't give a shit about what you think," he whispered harshly. "I'll be fine in New York. I can handle myself around assholes just fine when I need to. But I _don't_ _need_ to deal with you. And I certainly don't need to help you. You can't even fucking go _one session_ without insulting me? Fuck you."

He started to pack up his things. "I'm going to go watch the rest of Stan's practice. Find someone else to mooch off of; I don't want to put up with your bullshit."

…

"Oh don't get defensive, Kyle…" Eric ragged. Rolling his eyes, he spoke out a little louder as Kyle collected his things. "Instead of fleeing like a pansy, why don't you stand up for yourself and fight back!"

He really wanted more than anything for Kyle to fly off the handle. "As I said," he continued, "I'm here to help you, too… and if you want to move up in the ranks in New York… you're going to have to show them that you've got some fucking balls." He curled the end of his sentence and chuckled to himself in self satisfaction.

"So if you wanna run to Stan… sure, go ahead," he added. His eyes darkened significantly, knowing this next bit would really dig deep. "But there won't _be_ a Stan in New York to run to..." he laughed to himself before cracking a malicious grin. "How sad for you."

…

"Fucking Christ!" Kyle yelled, despite his previous attempt to keep his cool. He dropped his book bag and lunged toward the larger boy, grabbing his shirt collar. "SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

He considered punching Cartman in the face, if only to wipe off that stupid grin. But, no, he couldn't start that bullshit up again. Especially not on school property. And after that outburst, a librarian was probably on her way over. So he released the brunet, reluctantly, and backed up a few steps.

"You're so unbelievable," he muttered darkly. "You came asking for help and now you're doing absolutely_ nothing_ to make me want to give you the benefit of the doubt. I_ knew_ this was just a way for you to piss me off. God fucking damn it…"

He glared down at Cartman, who was still seated. "I'm not going to fight you," he said, though he knew full well how close he came mere seconds ago. "Stop trying to provoke me."

…

Words could not _describe _how euphoric Eric felt when Kyle lunged at him like that. Feeling his Jew's hands grip his shirt ever so diligently as his fiery eyes focused solely on him – and his own eyes sucked up that fire like a freaking demon… It felt like heaven the entire time. And Kyle yelling at him like that, basically telling him that he really did get to him and he was absolutely right about how pathetic that Jew brat was. So emotional… he really didn't stand a chance out in that cold city alone – that's why Eric knew he had to do something to make sure he would be there with him.

Composing himself once he agonizingly felt Kyle let him go, Eric coughed slightly and responded, "I was doing nothing to provoke you_ Kyle_."

He leaned back onto his chair and started to tap his fingers against his arm rest. "God forbid I try to point out that you may need to hone your communication skills," he suggested, really trying to win Kyle back. "If someone makes a suggestion to you like that in college, is _that_ how you're going to respond?"

"Not everyone is going to be nice when it comes to framing their criticism, and if you can't take it then honestly Kyle… you _really, honest to God_ have no place in that kind of environment," he added, eyeing Kyle up and down.

"How about this – let's start over," he said, getting an idea. Eric stood up to pace in front of his irritated Jew. "I'm going to rephrase my criticism – I must admit, I may have been a tad _juvenile _when I first gave my two cents," he joked, shrugging as he laughed. "It's a bad habit that you are _all too_ aware of."

He smirked, turning around to face the redhead again as he perked up, "You think you could keep your cool?"

…

Kyle didn't stop glaring at Cartman, though an uncomfortable truth was starting to dawn on him – that maybe he _did_ need an attitude check. He was so used to being endlessly praised by his teachers here, but he couldn't see college level instructors being so easily pleased. What if he really _couldn't_ take criticism? What if he blindly ignored criticism on the basis of pride only to end up failing miserably in college? He conceded that maybe he was too headstrong… and maybe that wouldn't serve him well in the real world.

But, the things Cartman said to him couldn't possibly count as real, _constructive_ criticism. Professors would give him suggestions on how to write research papers; Cartman belittled his heritage, his family, his interests, his friendships… everything about him. It wasn't criticism. It was ignorance and hatred. So it really _wasn't_ the same thing. His reactions toward his old enemy were completely justified… right?

"I…" he began, forcing himself to stop staring daggers at the boy, "fine. We can do the tutoring thing. I can keep my cool. _If_ you drop the subject of my future. We're here to worry about _your_ college plans. Mine are irrelevant. Got it?"

…

Eric grinned and calmly approached the tempering redhead, happy that he won the situation back over.

"Certainly Kyle," he soothed, stopping when he was standing directly in front of the smaller boy. "But I must insist that this isn't all about me."

He dared to reach out to place a neutral hand on Kyle's shoulder. "By the end of this, I do intend to teach you just as much as you intend to teach me." He narrowed his eyelids preemptively and lowered the timbre of his voice. "That is… if you're willing to learn…"

…

Kyle's breath hitched, both because of Cartman's close proximity and the strange tone in his voice. He looked up to meet his eyes, and there was a strange sort of glimmer in them – something only slightly removed from his usual mischievous look. He was definitely up to something. But… what it was, Kyle couldn't even begin to speculate.

"I," he said, finding his throat somewhat dry for no reason he could think of, "I thought I told you not to touch me."

…

Eric quickly took his hand away, letting it hang it in the air as he maintained eye contact. He spoke out again with his guttural voice, "You're hesitating… do you want me show you how to be the best asshole you can be Kyle?"

He perked up one of his eyebrows and cooed, "I can do that for you. I show you how you can stick it to those Yankee scumbags without breaking a sweat."

Looking at Kyle's nervous disposition, he teased with his half lidded eyes, "Like you are right now…"

…

The moment Cartman removed his hand, Kyle backed away from him more. Something was seriously up with this kid. More than usual, that is. And it was starting to freak him out.

But despite that, he had to stop himself from just saying 'yes' in response to Cartman's question. He didn't know what possessed him to just want to go along with it, but he knew it couldn't be good. The asshole was clearly trying to charm him into doing what he wanted, just like he always did with everyone he met. But he couldn't let himself fall for it. He wasn't a child anymore. He should be smarter than this.

"Why does it matter to you what happens to me when I leave here?" he whispered, though he wasn't sure why. "If they eat me alive… wouldn't that be like a dream come true for you?"

…

Eric shook his head, chuckling to himself as he brought his hand down to rest precariously on his hip. He continued to loom over his trembling Jew as he soothed, "See, only _you_ would really believe that I would think that way."

He shifted his head back so that a tuft of his fluffy brown hair would move off of his face. "No Kyle, I don't want you to be eaten alive all the way out there. The one thing that riles me more than your possible defeat is the fight you'd be putting up on your way down."

His eyes dimmed significantly as he growled, "And those fuckers? They'd snuff you out before you got the chance to cry out your little protests."

That last statement caused him to become significantly aroused. He inhaled sharply as he sucked up the delicious turmoil radiating from Kyle's body.

"You're too ambitious for that to truly be the end of you," he dared to compliment, knowing that was truly what Kyle wanted to hear. But then he added, with a copious amount of poison tinting his growl, "You may be right. I _am_ interested in seeing you fall from grace." He smirked devilishly from above, but quickly lightened up his devious expression. "But even more than that, Kyle, is my interest in seeing you _fight _for the grace you'd be falling from."

Knowing that he was on a roll, Eric brought his hand up to flick a curl out of Kyle's face.

"So how about it? Why don't you prove to me that you won't take that fall?" he asked, slowly tucking the bit of hair behind his Jew's ear. "That you're man enough to get what you want and _keep it for yourself."_

…

Kyle involuntarily closed his eyes as Cartman touched his hair, leaning into the touch _just slightly_. As soon as he realized what he was doing, however, he quickly jerked away from the larger boy and resumed his defiant glare.

"I don't have to prove anything to you," he said, his heart racing. _God, what's going on here? _He tried to keep his voice steady as he continued. "Just because I'm _choosing_ not to fight you doesn't mean I don't have any fight left in me, Cartman. You're just… not worth getting riled up over. That's all."

He walked around Cartman and back to the table. "I can be an asshole, too, you know. Don't worry about that," he said, picking his book bag up off the floor and putting it on the table, his back toward Cartman. "Maybe you should care less about me and New York and start studying calculus, hmm?"

…

Oh God, if Kyle just closed his eyes for a tad longer Eric could have snuck in another touch of those angelic curls. God! One touch just wasn't enough! But, oh God, he finally did it – and that curl felt softer than anything he'd ever touched. It was like petting a flame, warm to the touch and smooth as a feather – but of course, linger to long and you get burned. Surprisingly, though, Kyle apparently didn't care too much about that move!

Eric was too overwhelmed by his current state of euphoria to actually listen to what Kyle was bitching about – yet when Kyle whisked over to collect his books and mentioned that tidbit about caring about calculus, he quickly snapped out of his daze.

"Oh, right," Eric shook his head, walking back over to the table himself. "Do you have any more notes that I could, you know, look though in addition to the notes I took today?"

Despite them going back to their normal conversation, Eric could only look at those curls still… he finally had the _feel _of them to go along with the look. Something he was _dying_ to know to add to his little… _personal fantasies_.

…

Breathing a sigh of relief, Kyle began shuffling through his bag to look for notes. He didn't know what was going on with Cartman. Most likely some elaborate scheme that had little or nothing to do with studying for college. The stunt that asshole pulled with his hair… well… Kyle couldn't come up with a way to explain _that_ away. Nor could he justify how he reacted to it. But it was clearly part of a master plan of some sort.

Or maybe it was just a weird fluke. It was best to just forget about it, really. Cartman seemed to have dropped all the bullshit he was saying, anyway. Now that things were normal again, everything would be ok. But then, he was looking for notes to _help_ Eric Cartman – this wasn't normal in the least, even to begin with.

He was beginning to wonder just what he got himself into by agreeing to tutor this kid.

Finally withdrawing his pre-calculus notebook, he looked up to meet Cartman's eyes. "Um, here," he said, handing over the book. "I'm in the honors class, but, that should help. At least for the first two thirds of material."

…

Shrugging his messenger bag over his shoulder, Eric moved to take the notebook. "No problem, I think I'll be able to take something out of it," he said, hastily grabbing the notebook and accidently touching Kyle's hand in the process.

Quickly shifting his hand, Eric held back a breath. "I'll just take this then… I'll give it back to you tomorrow, if that's okay."

He tucked the notebook in his bag as he tried to mask his flushed expression.

…

Kyle had been glad Cartman already had the notebook in hand when their hands brushed, because it would have been difficult to explain why he yanked his hand away and dropped the book like it was on fire. He quickly made a mental note to look into local psychiatrists – there was clearly something _very_ wrong with him today.

"Oh, um, that's ok," he said as casually as he could. He finished packing up his stuff before turning back to Cartman. "You can just give it to me… whenever. I guess. Um… do you want to meet again tomorrow? I mean, because you really have _a lot_ of progress to make and we barely got anything done today. And I have to be here while Stan's at practice anyway."

…

Eric's enthusiasm flagged when he suddenly remembered Stan. _Oh that's right… pesky… best friend_.

"Sure!" he perked up.

"We can meet tomorrow and I'll give the notebook back to you then. I'll try to really look it over tonight so by the time I get here tomorrow… we can go over something new," he suggested, trying to get his mind off of how terribly antsy he felt over this whole session.

…

"Yeah, sure," Kyle said uncertainly, trying to find any hidden meaning in Cartman's words. "Just… come here after school I guess."

He began to make his way toward the aisle of books, heading toward the library's exit. "Oh, and Cartman," he said suddenly, stopping to look back at the brunet, "I'm serious about what I said. About being an asshole. You're on thin ice already. Don't fuck this up."

And with that, he walked away. It would be an interesting few weeks. Or days, depending on how quickly they killed each other.

…

Eric watched Kyle boldly leave the library after giving that blunt warning and couldn't help but roll his eyes into the back of his head. He flopped down on a nearby seat and took his head into his hands.

"Hmhmhmhmm…" his laugh started out small as he thought over all of the little things he was able to say and do to Kyle. And as he recollected all the little looks and sounds Kyle made whenever he would cross the line, or break an obvious boundary, Eric's laugh became more and more maniacal. He realized that he was a fucking genius and that it would only be a matter of time before Kyle would be putty in his massive, unforgiving hands.

"Shhhh!" someone called out from one of the aisles. "Fucking crazy asshole…"

Upon hearing that 'asshole' bit, Eric reluctantly shut himself up as he remembered Kyle's words. He took his Jew's notebook out of his backpack to gaze upon Kyle's scribbled but diligent handwriting.

'_Don't fuck this up? How unsightly. Well, let's see how far I have to push you before you fall through this thin ice we're on my dear, __**dear**__, Kyle.'_

…

Kyle left the library as quickly as he could, not wanting to look back or be forced to talk to Cartman any more than he already had. He felt like his blood pressure had skyrocketed from their tutoring session – and, as such, he was already regretting his decision to go along with it. Despite the bullshit Cartman spewed, he knew logically that any "good" that came out of this arrangement would be _far_ outweighed by the inevitable toll it would take on his health and sanity.

He ended up sitting in the bleachers watching the end of Stan's soccer practice. Or, rather, he sat on the bleachers thinking about what had gone on with Cartman – he honestly couldn't care less about soccer, though he always pretended to for Stan's sake.

There was something up with Cartman. Kyle had no idea what he was playing at, but he really needed to up his game if he was going to get one step ahead of that asshole and _stay there_. He wasn't going to be manipulated. Not anymore. Not ever again. But then… why did he get so easily worked up over the fatass' stupid comments? It wasn't like Kyle really _cared_ what Cartman thought of his dreams and ambitions. Because, honestly, graduation was the last time he ever planned on seeing that douchebag. Good fucking riddance.

So why the Hell was he still thinking about this? And why did he lose his cool earlier? He _never_ flew off the handle anymore. He was too old for that shit. He took his mom's bullshit, so he should be able to take Cartman's, right? It just wasn't fair. He thought he had self control now. But… perhaps it was just a testament to his ability to _avoid_ Cartman… _not_ to his ability to keep his cool.

_God damn that son of a bitch_, he thought bitterly. What right did Cartman have to piss all over his college plans after asking him for help? What right did he have to tell Kyle that he was doing him a _favor_? And what fucking right did he have to touch him like that?

"Hey Kyle!" he heard from beside him, and he jumped a bit. It was Wendy, obviously back from her meeting. His heart was racing, and he felt himself blush. He knew there was no reason for it, but he felt embarrassed to be thinking about Cartman of all people – and he was irrationally scared that somehow Wendy would be able to tell. "You're back from the library awfully early."

"Oh, uh, Cartman showed up," he said simply, and she nodded sympathetically.

Yeah, he wouldn't go any further than that. Telling people that he was tutoring Cartman would just make things more complicated. If there was one thing he hated more than he hated Eric Cartman, it was pity. Also, when people ask too many questions. And if people knew he was doing this, there would be a lot of questions and _a lot_ of pity.

He made small talk with Wendy while they waited for Stan, attempting to keep his mind off of what happened in the library, and it worked… though it wasn't so easy when they were driving home, when Stan and Wendy were both far more focused on each other than they were on Kyle. It was even worse at home, since he spent most of his time alone in his room avoiding his mother.

So, he gave in. If his mind was _so_ set on thinking about the stupid tutoring agreement, then he might as well put it to good use. He spent the remainder of the night creating problem sets for Cartman to do. He would give them to him the next day and, while the fatass worked through them, he could get his own homework done. It was the perfect plan. He would still be tutoring, but they wouldn't have to speak to each other, and all the weird crap that had happened earlier wouldn't be repeated. He wasn't going to give Cartman the opportunity to try anything. He smiled to himself. _One step ahead_.

…

**A/N:** More to come soon, and we'd love feedback!


	2. May 11th

**A/N:** First off, thank you to everyone who reviewed Part One of this fic! We definitely love and appreciate all of you. :D And, labyrinth1n3 wanted to give extra thanks to the reviewers who also read Märchen. Also, we will basically be updating weekly (Sundays or Mondays). We have a lot written, but we don't want to get too far ahead of ourselves since we're still writing. Same as before, POV changes are indicated by ellipses. Any German used is translated at the bottom of the page.

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Two – Tuesday, May 11th

_What the fuck is this?_

"You made up question sheets for me?" Eric scoffed, gazing at the worksheets Kyle handed him as he threw his bag on the table. "I already did all my homework last night! I don't need _more_!" he growled, looking over at the smug Jew, who was laughing to himself as he worked on his _own_ assignments.

Huffing to himself, Eric put on an expression of annoyance – but also promise. Once he got home last night, instead of mindlessly surfing the internet and eating the occasional oversized snack, he practically tore Kyle's notebook apart, trying to get as much out of it as possible. He really just wanted this session to be more Kyle oriented than math oriented – but he actually got some things out of the notebook last night! He was immensely proud of himself, so much so that he rewarded himself properly by allowing himself to drift back to the tutoring session he and Kyle had that day and, well, shook hands with himself… over and over again.

However, it looked like his little redhead was one step ahead in the game for the moment. Despite him actually understanding some of the concepts his math teacher went over today, the problems Kyle gave him were a tad harder and this session was starting to not look as enjoyable as he originally planned.

So with an exasperated sigh, Eric plopped down on his chair and started to work on the seemingly endless list of problems. "Fine, have it your way, Jew… but this doesn't mean we can't talk," he said once he finished the first problem, which was a little easier than the rest. "What did you do after school? Have to put up with Wendy shoving her tongue down Stan's throat for the umpteen-millionth time as you awkwardly shift in the back seat?" he jabbed, knowing it annoyed the hell out of Kyle just as much as it annoyed the hell out of him.

...

Kyle rolled his eyes and focused harder on his English assignment. He was annoyed already. Mostly because Cartman wasn't giving up, but also because the fatass was right – he _did_ have to deal with Stan and Wendy last night. While he enjoyed each of their company separately, when they were together it was an entirely different story.

"Doesn't matter," he said shortly, not looking up from his composition notebook. "Just do your work, Cartman. I'll go over them when you're done."

...

"Hoo hoo… _pushy,_" Eric teased and then growled to himself as he tried to hurry through his problems. His head was hurting already from the amount of math that's been crammed in his brain in the past twenty four hours. Not only that, but Kyle was only a small distance away from him – so determined to not pay him any attention as he worked on whatever he was doing. This could not fly. Eric Cartman does not get ignored.

"I _am_ doing my work though, and I must say your notes really helped me in class… I think you'll be impressed when you look over these Kyle," he bragged as he flipped the papers, signaling to Kyle that he was quite ready to take on this task. "But in the meantime, why don't you tell me what _you're_ working on." He hoped that Kyle would take this as an opportunity to think out loud about his own assignment, which would inadvertently break the silence of this seemingly stoic session.

...

_Oh my God,_ Kyle groaned inwardly. There was absolutely no way he was going to get any actual work done if Cartman didn't shut up. And he wasn't about to turn in some half-assed bullshit for his favorite class. Given, Kyle's 'half-assed' would still get the best grade, but… it was the principal of the thing.

He shot Cartman a glare, though he couldn't help but notice that the kid _was_ actually doing the math problems.

"If you _must_ know, we're reading _'The Things They Carried'_ right now in honors English and we're supposed to write reflections after each chapter set. So that's what I'm _trying_ to do," he said, giving Cartman a pointed look. Maybe he'd take the hint. Maybe.

...

Eric liked that Kyle was actually talking to him now, albeit with obvious disdain. But nevertheless, he was about finished with his first page of problems and needed a break from them, so he decided to edge on.

"Hm, I was never one to be too engulfed in the Vietnam War – with the hippie movement, stupid ass draft, and freaking commies EVERYWHERE," he commented with a smirk and an eye roll. "Though the napalm flamethrowers were kind of cool… it would have been awesome if they were invented earlier." He leaned his head back on his chair as he mused, "World War II would have been _a lot_ different."

...

_Of course_.

"A lot different… yeah, it would have _ended _sooner and a lot of lives could have been saved," Kyle said simply, staring Cartman straight in the eyes. "Because God knows the Americans would have been the first to use napalm. Actually… I'm pretty sure we _did_ use it against the Germans before the end of it. Didn't you know? But you're right. It _would_ have been nice if we used it earlier… like in Berlin while the Wannsee Conference was going on."

His eyes narrowed. "But what's done is done. There's no point in thinking about 'what ifs'."

"Anyway," he said, picking up O'Brien's book and flipping through it absently. "You might gain a better appreciation for Vietnam if you read this. It's really very good. But… you don't care about the human experience, do you? _You'd_ probably just think it's funny."

Sighing audibly, he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his temples. He was already tired of Cartman and, for the thousandth time, couldn't believe he agreed to this.

...

"Hmm," Eric listened to Kyle's little rant, filling in some answers on the next sheet of problems. "Or maybe if the Germans brought Napalm flamethrowers with them during their march on Stalingrad… see…" He looked over to Kyle with an amused expression on his face. "_That_ would have been awesome. Because not only would the flamethrowers help with the Russian Winter, but it would have also lit those freaking Reds up like Christmas Trees. 'O Tannenbaum', indeed." He looked over to Kyle with a cynical grin – but was only met with angered silence.

Sighing despondently, Eric resumed his work as he grumbled, "And for your information, I do care about the Human Experience – for instance…" He laid down his papers suddenly, peering across at the Jew. With a determined and persistent expression on his face, he leaned into the table. "How can I make this 'experience' more enjoyable for you?"

...

"Oh that's easy," Kyle sneered. "You can be quiet and do your work. I _think_ one of the rules was that you couldn't slack off. Unless, of course, you're done... in which case, I can look them over."

...

Eric's determined vibe waved somewhat as he looked to the other page and a half of problems he needed to finish. _This isn't happening fast enough,_ he thought to himself. He picked his brain for answers, wanting _something _to happen.

And then he noticed how dank this little corner was, with its gray washed walls and no decorations to liven it up – it was as though the librarians had forgotten this place was even here and essentially ignored it. However, there was a window, and Eric noticed that it was absolutely gorgeous outside.

Smiling as an idea came to mind, Eric shifted his eyes toward his redhead and asked, "Hey, why do you even like coming to this sad little corner? I bet there are _much_ better places to do our work – I mean, if you're really not enjoying this, why don't you at least improve your surroundings in the mean time."

He looked to a small empty spot near the trees surrounding the perimeter of the school. "Like, I don't know, under one of the trees." _Oh wait, even better_, Eric thought as he hurriedly reached into his bag to retrieve some of his after school snacks. "Better yet! We can have a picnic!"

...

"…A… picnic."

Kyle couldn't even begin to comprehend that suggestion. On the one hand, it was an excuse for Cartman to eat, so on that level it made sense. But… really? _Really? A picnic, __**really**__?_

"You can't be serious," he said, staring incredulously at the brunet. When he saw that the fatass was, apparently, completely serious, he raised his eyebrows even more. "I… well… I come here to be alone. But… I guess having you here defeats _that_ purpose."

He peered at Cartman, waiting for him to burst into laughter at Kyle's consideration of the idea. When he didn't, he conceded that maybe going outside wouldn't be such a bad thing. There wouldn't be anyone around at this point, as long as they sat somewhere far away from the sports field.

"Fine. Let's go," he said, standing up. "But no more finding ways to avoid actually learning, fatass."

...

Eric was elated when Kyle agreed to go outside with him – with the chill mountain breeze cooling everything down as the hot sun shined down on all the green trees and blooming fauna surrounding the school. Given that Eric wasn't one for romantics, a beautiful day such as this one wouldn't faze him as much – but today was different, because today Eric would be sharing this delightful weather with the one person he thought would never agree to such a random thing as a picnic.

"So where do you wanna sit?" Eric asked as he led Kyle to the area that he had seen from the library window. Glancing at his estranged tutor, Eric cracked a smile as he dared to suggest, "We might wanna sit under a tree, you know… in the shade?" he puffed an amused laugh as he joked, "I mean… we wouldn't want your ginger Jew skin to burn…"

...

Kyle let out an irritated groan and rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever," he said, walking over to a nearby tree before tossing his book bag on the ground. "Let's just get to work. _Focus_, Cartman."

He sat down and took his composition notebook back out. It was, admittedly, much more pleasant out here than it was in the library. The fresh air _almost_ made sitting next to Eric Cartman tolerable.

"You know," he said, leaning back against the tree trunk. "I'm starting to wonder if you _really_ want to pick your grades up. You seem to be trying _awfully _hard to annoy the person who so nicely agreed to help you despite his better judgment."

...

Playfully sitting down _right next _to Kyle underneath the tree, Eric pulled out his worksheets and tapped his pencil contemplatively.

"Oh I'm _completely_ serious about bringing my grades up," he assured, unknowingly giving off a worried expression. "In order to get into the college I need to get into, I'm going to have to really put my effort into overdrive." He exhaled a long breath, looking up into the bristling leaves as he concluded, "I'll probably spend my whole summer doing nothing but reading."

He closed his eyes, a tuft of his hair falling lose from his ear as a gust of wind whisked by their tree. The wind rustled his papers and the brunet quickly rushed to grab hold of them.

...

_Could he have sat any closer to me?_ Kyle thought uncomfortably as he watched the larger boy struggle to keep hold of his papers. Leave it to Cartman to make someone uneasy with nothing more than his _proximity_. Kyle's mind briefly went back to their encounter yesterday – and how freaked out he'd been when Cartman had been even closer than he was now. He watched as the brunet situated himself again and began to go back to work on his math problems. _What are you up to? _he thought bitterly._ Give me a sign, something to go off of!_

He made a half-hearted attempt to return to his own homework, but his curiosity got the better of him. If Cartman really _was_ serious, he must be doing something right on those math problems. Kyle had attempted to make them extra hard just to spite him, but that didn't mean the fatass couldn't try. He casually leaned over to look at Cartman's paper and saw, much to his surprise, that quite a few of his answers were correct.

"You… you're doing this right," he said, sounding more shocked than he intended. "You actually listened to me yesterday? Used the notes I gave you?"

...

Eric perked up as soon as he noticed Kyle looking over his completed problems, rushing to look back at his work as he smiled. "Yeah! Of course," he prided, looking down at his bewildered Jew. "It amuses me that you would think otherwise."

Having just finished the second set of problems, Eric was only left with one more sheet, so he decided to take a break. "Despite what you think I _may_ be doing, I mean it when I say I really need to get my act together for this college."

He frowned and perked one of his brows in concern, looking over his new sheet of math equations. "I mean, on a scale of one to ten Kyle how _behind_ do you think I really am?" he asked as he peered back at a very uncertain Jew.

...

"I'd say about a four," the redhead responded slyly. "Maybe a five. Knowing you, you're doing just enough in your classes to pass."

He scooted over a bit, realizing that in his attempt to look at what Cartman had done, he had gotten too close to the other boy for comfort.

"Why the sudden interest in college, anyway?" he asked, genuinely curious. "You always seemed to scoff at the idea, and you've never shown any interest in education up until now."

He hugged his knees to his chest and looked at Cartman, his homework almost entirely forgotten. "And you keep saying 'this college' like you have your heart set on one… which is it?"

...

_Oh crap. _Eric tensed up once he realized that he may have revealed a tad too much. "Umm… well," he stuttered as he tried to collect himself. He looked back to his homework, attempting to hide his nervous and flushed expression.

"I just…" he tried to think about what he could say, raising his hand to worriedly stroke his hair. "Hearing you talk about being sick of this town and moving away made me think that maybe there's a college out there that could better suit my ideals as well… because…" Eric laughed genuinely, peering down at the hunched over, curious looking Kyle with an amused expression. "Lord knows Colorado doesn't have a wide selection."

He then remembered that Kyle asked him about which one he specifically wanted to apply to. Biting his lower lip, he rushed for an answer as he blurted mindlessly, "and um… I was looking at _Berkeley_?" The answer was completely random – he didn't even know what state the college was in or how prestigious it was.

...

Kyle couldn't help but burst into laughter. It didn't matter if Cartman was being serious or not – this reaction was completely out of his hands. "Y-you're kidding, right?" he managed to get out between chuckles. Seeing Cartman's confused expression, he tried to contain himself.

"It's just… are you sure?" he said, trying to hold back more laughter as he mulled over where to begin. "It's just so… um… and you're telling _me_ to worry about hippies in _New York_? Cartman, Berkeley is like five seconds away from San Francisco! They send the most students to the Peace Corps out of any school in the country!"

He grinned, eyes shining with amusement. "Do you have a secret alter-ego I don't know about?" he teased. "Or do you just have no idea about colleges?"

...

Oh…shit.

Eric honestly had no idea that Berkeley was in San Francisco, so obviously he just made himself more transparent by blushing profusely. He even found himself breaking out into a sweat as Kyle continued to laugh from below.

"Oh um… I obviously didn't mean _Berkeley_," Eric corrected, peering down at the hysterical redhead as he furrowed his brow in anger. "Well you're the college expert! Where do _you_ think I should go?"

He shoved Kyle playfully, trying to get the Jew to pay attention to him again as he was reminded of his 'scale' question. "You said I'm at a five! And actually… that just means I'm half way there," he said optimistically, sneakily leaning in closer while Kyle was still a little disoriented.

...

"Oh, come on Cartman, you're going to have to do your own research on that," Kyle said, finally regaining his composure. He would make sure to tell Stan about this later and have another good laugh. "But I'm sure there are plenty of bigoted, Confederate flag waving, overly right wing, gay bashing, racist schools down in Texas that would just _love_ to have you."

He smiled slightly as he watched Cartman go back to his work. "As for how behind you are… just focus on catching up. Like I said, college admissions people love to see improvement."

...

"Don't you worry about improvement," Eric mentioned as he finished the last equation on the page, quickly rechecking all of them before proudly handing Kyle the worksheets. "And as far as Texas goes? Don't be ridiculous – I may be right wing but I am certainly no _red neck…_ and gay bashing is so last decade anyway."

He rolled his eyes as he playfully bumped Kyle's shoulder with his own. "Get with the times Jew," he teased, his shoulder still rubbing up against Kyle's. He quickly used the opportunity to lower his head, catching a scent of his Jew's red curls.

...

Kyle tensed up when Cartman's shoulder touched his, but didn't move away as he began to correct the brunet's math problems. He certainly seemed to be catching on, and Kyle had a sneaking suspicion that perhaps he was studying on his own time as well. The thought made the redhead smile. Maybe this tutoring thing would be a success after all.

He didn't follow up on Cartman's gay bashing comment – the last thing Kyle wanted was to give the asshole a reason to get any _ideas_ about him… as true as those assumptions might be. Instead, he remained silent as he finished his corrections.

"You made a few mistakes," he said at last, handing the worksheets back over. "But you're catching on fast. You might not need me after all, fat ass. In fact, I really don't think you do. You could easily catch up on your own."

He looked up at Cartman and furrowed his brows, slightly taken aback by just how close they were to each other. "I know there's something more to this. I just don't know what it is yet," he said quietly, wanting to convey to Cartman that he shouldn't be underestimated. "But I'll figure it out."

...

The worry in Eric's eyes was obvious as soon as he heard Kyle mention that he could catch up on his own, and given their proximity Kyle probably saw it immediately. It seemed like this was confirmed when the Jew signaled that he was catching on to his little scheme. Hitching his breath, Eric grabbed his papers back as he replied, "You're just being paranoid."

He looked down at his mischievous looking Jew – at how confident he looked. Eric really needed to show Kyle that this was worth his while – that these sessions were also going to help _him_ somehow. He couldn't bear to see Kyle leave during the beginning of this… Eric knew he probably _could_ catch up on his own, yeah, but having Kyle here with him was half the fucking pleasure! Besides… he could watch Kyle's every move when it came to which colleges he applied to. This wasn't just a matter of him _wanting_ Kyle to stay. This was a matter of Kyle _needing_ to stay.

So, in an act of desperation, Eric found himself glaring intently at his Jew. "But I think you've forgotten my end of the deal, Kyle…" he insinuated before quickly moving to pin Kyle's shoulders back into the tree.

Knowing that this was obviously a drastic move, Eric made sure that only his hands were on Kyle's shoulders, not his entire weight; the point of this wasn't to scare his Jew away – only to ignite. So Eric changed his tone to a much more serious one as he spoke out before Kyle could protest, "You're in Central Park – walking back to your college campus. You stayed extra hours at the city library studying for your next exam, and before you knew it… it was already three in the morning."

Smiling slightly, Eric shook his head as he pointed out, "But you're completely broke and couldn't afford a cab or bus back to your dorm. So you had no choice but to walk." His eyes darkened as his voce grew deeper, "But all of a sudden, as you're getting into the heart of the park, someone lunges out at you from out of nowhere and pins you to the nearest light post, demanding everything you own or else they'll shoot your brains out… What do you do Kyle?"

...

Kyle let out a small gasp as he was pinned against the tree – the act having taken him completely by surprise. He stared into Cartman's eyes as the larger boy rattled off his hypothetical scene… and his heart was beating faster with every second. If there was one thing Cartman was good at, it was using words to incite emotions in people. And God, Kyle could see it happening in his head, and he felt _suffocated_ from the added weight of Cartman pressing his shoulders into the tree – just like the mugger in his story.

"I… don't know," he whispered in response, not bothering to mask the fear in his voice. He couldn't imagine that people wishing to do him harm in New York were as stupid as those here in South Park… there would actually be a legitimate _threat_ if someone approached him in an unfamiliar city thousands of times bigger than his home town.

"That… that wouldn't happen," he lied, regaining some of his confidence. He couldn't _believe_ he showed Cartman his fear. "Get off me."

...

Eric could see that Kyle was distressed, so he backed off slightly. He felt a flood of worry overtake his body as he warned, "Kyle, do you know how many people get mugged in that city? It's a very real possibility…" He felt slightly bad about his blunt actions, but he was desperate to get Kyle to realize the big step he'd be taking if he went to New York.

He let go of Kyle completely and knelt down directly in front of him. "You see, Kyle, I can _be_ that mugger in the park, or the ruthless professor who won't give you a straight answer about why he doesn't like your work. Or the colleague who won't do his half of the work, or the colleague who _does _do his half of the work WAY better than yours and shoves it in your face!" he smiled at the end of his sentence, daring to reach out to calmingly place his hand on Kyle's knee.

"The good thing is… is that despite what I do or say to you during this 'training', your opinion of me won't go any lower, right?" he laughed a bit as he joked. "So think of it this way: I can be your sparring partner in this and nothing between us would change!"

…_For the worse, _he prayed silently.

...

"If you're trying to scare me out of leaving this God forsaken place, then it's not working," Kyle said, angrily pulling he knee away from Cartman's grasp. Why did he have to be so fucking_ crazy?  
_

He stood up quickly, taking his book bag with him. This little tutoring session (if it could even be called that) hadn't gone as planned and it was getting to be too much for Kyle to handle. "I have to meet Stan," he said, though it would be another forty-five minutes until his friend's practice let out.

...

"No… Kyle!" Eric called out from the ground, feeling his heart drop to his stomach before standing up as well.

"Don't you get it? I don't wanna scare you for Christ's sake…" he argued, bringing up his hands to illustrate his frustration. "I just want you to be prepared for what you're going to have to face!" He slammed his arms back down against his hips. "It's not just all academics… It's life skills too – and some of those life skills are learning how to freaking get your own fucking way in the scheme of things." He trailed off with a chortle, giving a proud smirk as he crossed his arms, "And you know that there's only _one_ person who can pull that off better than anyone."

He stepped one foot closer in to seal the space in between him and his Jew. "So why are you resisting this? I know you're doing me a favor – and I really do believe that you're going to get me into the college I want to get into," he insisted, suddenly glaring down deviously.

"And because you're helping me, I'm willing to help you. Because despite our differences, Kyle…" he paused, wishing he could pull off the hair touch again but knowing he couldn't. "I believe good responses get good rewards. Every time you advance me up one level…" He cracked an even more malicious grin, intentionally lowering his voice to a very suggestive level as he growled, "I'll advance one on you…"

...

"Good responses get good rewards?" Kyle mocked, cocking an eyebrow. "I'm not a fucking lab rat, Cartman."

He side stepped around the larger boy and began to walk back toward the school. He didn't get very far at all before he stopped to turn back to Cartman. "And screw your life skills. You live the kind of cushy, easy life that most kids can only dream of, fat ass. You know nothing about the real world. _Nothing_. If I want lessons in street smarts, I'll go to Kenny. Or my _mom_, seeing as she lived in fucking _Jersey_ for two thirds of her life."

...

"Oh, so what!" Eric argued, feeling the situation slip from his grasp as he desperately followed Kyle back toward the school.

"You're just going to pretend that something like that could never happen?" he yelled, though he didn't want to grow too upset. "Go ahead! GO get help from Kenny or your mom – but I guarantee they'll just give you a sugar coated version about what _could _happen to you!" He stopped in his tracks, still staring at Kyle with his hollow eyes as he shook his head. "I thought you'd appreciate honesty… or at least understand that this is all I could really give back to you for what you're be helping me with," he seemingly pleaded. Not wanting to come off as too vulnerable, he backed away. "But whatever. You don't want my help? Fine, it's not like you're fucking appreciative anyway."

He stormed over to collect his bags and papers, feeling his heart pang as he morbidly shouted out, "Go get yourself fucking _raped_ in New York City." He felt his heart turn into pure ice as he continued to warn, "But when that fucker is staring at you with those fucked up, glazed over, lustful eyes of his, I want you to remember that you could have prevented it."

"And I could have helped you," he whispered as he clutched onto his corrected worksheets, not wanting Kyle to hear.

...

"You're so fucking sick!" Kyle cried as he stomped back over to his nemesis. "What the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

"I don't fucking care who's out there or what they're going to do," he said, roughly poking Cartman in the chest. "Because _no one_ I come across will be as much of a depraved lunatic as you are. You're disgusting. And _vile_. Haven't you considered that maybe I'm only leaving to _get away from you_? Even if I _do_ get… well, it will be _nothing_ compared to what you've put me through for my entire fucking life."

He glared defiantly up at the brunet before continuing. "I don't need your help. Why the fuck can't you accept that I'm willing to do a favor for you without wanting anything in return? I expect nothing from you. I _want_ nothing from you. So move. The fuck. ON."

...

Oh, it took everything Eric had not to slap Kyle across the face as he stood there, staring emptily down at the redhead. His eyes grew increasingly darker, as though something from within him left completely, only to be replaced by more _hate_. Eric didn't take into account that Kyle would actually remind him of how much they really were at odds with each other.

But still, as bleak as Kyle's words to him might have been, Eric knew that to throw in the towel would be to throw away his _life. _

Therefore, as Kyle continued to hatefully gaze up at him with his crazy malachite eyes, Eric's mind went to a deep, dark place. He reached out to grab Kyle's shirt, bringing the shocked Jew closer to him as he lowered his head down to his Jew's level. He showed off his crazed eyes and spoke in a growl lower than he'd used to date, "Then why… then why… are you even bothering, _Kyle_?"

"If you really… _honestly_… hate me more than the person who would disgrace you like that… and leave you for _dead_ in some _fucking New York alley_… why are you bothering to help me?" he seethed through his teeth, letting go of Kyle's shirt before moving his arms to hold Kyle's biceps.

"I think I know though…" His voice was still layered, his towering presence still looming over Kyle as his hollow eyes peered down to the uncertain Jew. "I think that a part of you still wants to believe that there is an ounce of possibility in me," he admitted. He looked for an answer in Kyle's widened eyes but didn't find one.

Frowning in discontent, Eric closed his eyes in apparent defeat as he slowly let go of Kyle's smaller frame. "Because Lord Knows I'm starting not to believe it…"

...

Kyle's heart was beating out of his chest when Cartman finally released him. _Christ that guy is fucking crazy,_ he thought fearfully. He'd almost forgotten that Cartman's escapades weren't _only_ attempts to piss Kyle off. The guy was, in fact, lethally psychotic. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to keep trying to goad him. Kyle really didn't want to end up dead, and there was something in Cartman's eyes right now that just seemed so… primal. Soulless. He found himself staring at the ground out of nervousness.

"Cartman…" he started off, walking on eggshells. "I spent _half my life_ trying to see the good in you. Despite everything you did, I couldn't accept that you were a complete monster. But…"

He bit his lip and dared to look up at Cartman. "Over and over again, you proved me wrong. You can't blame me for giving up on you," he said, trying to make the other boy see his perspective without setting him off again. "If there _is_ an ounce of possibility left in you… then you've done a damn good job of hiding it… all you've ever done is torture me. So how can you expect me to trust you now? Jesus, Cartman… can't you just take the tutoring and leave it at that? Because I _will not_ give you permission to try to break me."

...

"Torture," Eric spoke with no inflection or tone to his voice. Like Kyle knew what fucking torture was. He grabbed his things and turned back toward the redhead, staring him down with his black voids as he pondered over his current situation. He needed to get accepted into the same college Kyle did for his own health and sanity, but the Jew made it abundantly clear that one of the reasons he wanted to move so far away was to actually _rid _himself of him.

Eric had the opportunity, however, to take Kyle's lessons and mindlessly roll with them. He knew now that to exert himself too much over his estranged tutor would only drive him away.

He narrowed his eyes. It's not like he could help it though, it's what Kyle did to him – but he couldn't let Kyle know that. So what was he going to do now? Rid himself of Kyle to bring up his own grades, thus eliminating the temptation but also eliminating the target? Or ride this out with Kyle but – he sneered at his next thought – _be a good boy?_

Yes, Eric _truly_ knew what torture was.

Contorting his face to give off a pathetic excuse for a grin, Eric made his decision as he looked at Kyle's unmoving frame. "Well… seeing that _you're still here, _maybe there is hope for me yet," he concluded, walking in small steps as he began to make his way back to the school.

"So I guess I'll continue this for now…" he sighed, shoving his hands in his coat pockets as he stopped in front of Kyle. "I am very well aware of my past, and I'm also aware that not much has changed since then. I still hold the same feelings for you as I always have." He focused his eyes on the school ahead. "So fine…."

He slid his eyes back over to glare down at the redhead in front of him. "But you hear me out," he gritted his teeth. "I know for a fact that you want to break me just as bad." He mustered his face up in a bout of anger. "When all is said and done, and my grades are where they should be, I know for a fact that your excuse for an ego will be stroked and you'll forever pride yourself with the knowledge that you pulled me from the dirt and made me…" He paused to swallow a load of his own pride before growling, "Acceptable."

Bringing his head down to glare at the ground beneath them, Eric continued his monologue by insisting, "But I don't want to honor you that satisfaction." He brought his head up suddenly to look at Kyle. "I will tell you now that any decision I make during this time under your tutelage will be my own, and quite frankly," he grinned an evil smirk. "Might go against _your_ wishes."

Eric lingered there for a moment longer before closing his eyes. "But also know this…"

When he opened them back up, his normal mahogany hue had returned to wisp around his retracted pupils. "I know now… more than ever, that my life might finally go in a direction that I'm actually content with."

Bearing a somewhat believable smile, Eric resumed his walk back to the school. "And for some reason, and I'm not really sure why…" he called out, stopping to look back one final time. "I'm actually glad you're going to be here to oversee it."

...

_God damn it_, Kyle thought as he glared at Cartman's retreating back. That asshole always had to get the last word in. And he always knew exactly what to say to make Kyle feel guilty. He knew, logically, that he had absolutely no obligation to Cartman. He also knew he should never feel guilty for anything he said to the boy because, frankly, nothing he said could hold a candle to the things Cartman had already said or done.

But for some reason he still felt bad about his seething remarks. A little part of him felt that maybe Cartman didn't deserve to be labeled vile and psychotic… even though he _was _those things. _Damn conscience_. Kyle always tended to feel guilty when he didn't necessarily have to. Even when it came to Cartman, who never _ever_ deserved his empathy.

Maybe Cartman had been honest about being glad he had Kyle there to help him. At the very least, he didn't have that crazy look in his eyes when he said it. And really, that was what convinced Kyle to continue this thing.

When he arrived at the sports field to wait out the rest of Stan's practice, he continued to brood about how stupid he probably was for agreeing to this. But he had to admit, there was something _off_ about his and Cartman's dynamic now. He wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing, but as much as he tried to retain the back and forth they'd always had… a strange amount of seriousness and apparent honesty had worked its way into their conversations. It made him nervous. But he was curious about what he could get out of Cartman if he played his cards right.

The soccer team started to pack up and Stan waved at him on his way into the locker rooms. Kyle huffed and brought out his cell phone to text Cartman: _'Fine. Meet at the library again tomorrow. Make a list of what you're behind on in your classes.'_

...

The text message Eric received as he walked into his front door gave him _much _relief. He felt about a thousand pounds of anxiety practically disintegrate off of his burdened shoulders. After casually texting back Kyle a couple of the things he knew he needed help on, he ran up to his room to plot about how he was going to carry out their next session. Plotting was necessary now, since he knew that Kyle wasn't going to let him in so easily.

God it was like… the more Eric paid attention to him, the more Kyle would back away. However, he could tell that he probed Kyle's interest at one point during their skirmish today – albeit at the cost of some of his self esteem. However, sacrifices were sacrifices. And that's when Eric began to realize that getting Kyle to start returning some of his advances would mean that he'd honestly have to act as _boring_ as possible.

Eric smirked. _That'll drive Kyle CRAZY._ And then he thought maybe, just _maybe_ he'd be able to teach Kyle another one of his _oh so valuable_ lessons.

…

**A/N:** The next part will be posted in about a week! Oh, and we thrive on feedback! :D


	3. May 12th

**A/N:** Thanks again to those who reviewed/faved this story!

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Three – Wednesday, May 12th

"Okay," Eric stated very plainly as he wrote down his final response to the word problems Kyle assigned to him. He was seated across from Kyle and didn't make so much as a _chortle_ during the entire session thus far – not even a scowl! He honestly just listened to Kyle the whole time and did exactly as he was told. No back handed comments, no complaints. He just moved through the motions as plainly as he could – as torturous as that was. Freaking Kyle… God he wished he could reverse their positions right now.

...

"Done?" Kyle asked as he took the papers from Cartman to look over. As he was correcting, he snuck a couple glances at the brunet, waiting for him to make one of his trademark insults. Or a complaint. Or just a simple smirk. _Anything._

But no, Cartman was just… doing his work. He was barely even paying any attention to Kyle, which was unusual to say the least.

He cleared his throat. As much as it was a welcome change, _and it_ _was, _it was also terribly awkward… just sitting in silence doing homework. It wasn't a comfortable silence, either. Kyle felt as though he was seconds away from some kind of attack. He kept expecting Cartman to say or do something, but he just _wasn't_. Which just made Kyle more uncomfortable. It had been going on like this for an hour. And he couldn't take it anymore.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a monotone, much in the way he always questioned the other boy's motives when they were kids.

...

Eric, who had been diligently reading over Kyle's corrections from one of his previous assignments, tried as hard as he could to hide his smile as soon as his Jew asked him that question. The fact that he predicted this so well brought him immense joy. He then shot Kyle a toying look and put on his typical assfaced grin.

"Reading over the corrections, what does it look like Kyle?" he innocently responded, crossing his legs before lowering his head in silent understanding that this was finally about to get interesting.

...

In theory, Kyle knew he should have been ecstatic that Cartman actually seemed to be treating him, as well as the tutoring session, with respect. But he knew better than to give Cartman the benefit of the doubt. He knew that there _had_ to be some ulterior motive here.

"Yeah, that's what it _looks like_," Kyle said sardonically. "But you're being suspiciously quiet today. You're up to something. So, what are you planning?"

He wasn't about to let his guard down and accept that _maybe_ the fatass was trying to prove to Kyle that he was serious about this.

...

Calmly placing his papers back on the table, Eric leaned forward intently and announced, "Lesson Two – Ulterior motives."

He suddenly got up, holding his hands behind his back as he began to pace the parameter of their study area. "For your final exam in your one extremely hard class, your professor puts the whole class in pairs. You find yourself with someone you had no contact with for the entire semester." He stopped behind Kyle and placed his hand on the back of the redhead's chair before ducking down to whisper, "And now you're studying with him. He's sitting across from you, seemingly listening to what you have to offer, but in all honestly – it seems as though he's just going through the motions."

Eric then pointed to his empty chair as he kept his head level with Kyle's. "The one thing you know about this kid is that he may be just as smart as you, judging by how much he contributes to the professor's lessons," he continued to whisper. Bringing his hand back down, Eric dared to lean in closer, so that his breath touching Kyle's ear. "What do you think this kid's intentions really are? Do you really think he wants to help you with your mutual final? Or do you think he's trying to study your every move… only to one up you at the end to get the better half of the grade?" Eric laughed, looking back to the empty chair. "What are his ulterior motives Kyle? Would you be able to read him before he could strike?"

...

_I couldn't have just let it go_, Kyle thought to himself, stiffening in his seat as Cartman breathed words into his ear.

"He _probably_ doesn't care what I do as long as he gets a good grade," he said before turning his head slightly to glare at Cartman with narrowed eyes. "Or _maybe_ he wants to rape me and leave me for dead in an alleyway, right?"

...

"No…" Eric shook his head in amusement. "This kid doesn't."

He crossed his arms on the back of Kyle's chair and continued to look at the empty chair. "But he does want to eliminate the competition," he said, nodding in Kyle's direction. "Namely you."

Then he shrugged indifferently and sighed. "So yeah, you could tell yourself that all he cares about is his grade, but when he ends up doing more work than he was supposed to, and then tells the teacher that you _slacked off_? What do you do then?" Eric smiled as he snuck one of his arms down Kyle's chair, basically putting an arm around his redhead without touching him.

"_You_ know that you didn't slack off, that you did the work that you and your estranged partner agreed to… but when your teacher looks at his abundance of work and then back at your measly pile… wouldn't you have liked to have foreseen this treachery in the first place?" he asked, keeping his arm precariously perched by his Jew as his breathing quickened ever so slightly.

...

It was, admittedly, a realistic scenario. Kyle fully realized that people would be more cut-throat in college. Thousands of intelligent people forced to compete with one another… there would surely be those who would throw someone under the bus for absolutely no reason. There would be _Cartmans_ at college, as unfortunate as that was.

"I… how am I supposed to know if someone would do that?" Kyle asked. "I don't want to go through life assuming everyone is out to get me. Most people aren't like _you_, Cartman. I'd rather just… do my own work and hope for the best. If someone tries to throw me under the bus, I'll just explain what happened to the professor. I'd have a good enough repertoire of assignments and class participation – he'd have to believe me."

Cartman was uncomfortably close to him… _again_. Was every tutoring session going to turn into this?

...

"But then what about when it comes to recommendations for grad school? He'd give it to the other student for taking the initiative," Eric responded, still lingering above Kyle's chair as he peered down at his uncomfortable Jew. "There is a way you can tell. About what he's thinking, that is."

He suddenly got up, but only to sit on the table directly in front of Kyle. Leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees, Eric stared into Kyle's confused green orbs as he suggested, "Why don't we practice some?"

He grinned, terribly curious as to how this would play out. "Tell me Kyle… what do you _really _think my motives are?" His eyes narrowed, his dark gaze still maintaining its toxicity as he eyed Kyle.

...

_This is so pointless_, Kyle thought as he continued to glare at Cartman, who had the gall to push his papers aside and sit on the table _right in front of him_.

"Your motives," he began with an eye roll. "Are to sufficiently piss me off enough so that I kill you. And to ruin my life by scaring me into staying in South Park. And to mooch off of my intelligence to get your grades up so _you_ can leave and then laugh at me for being a townie."

...

"_I've_ been scaring you?" Eric spoke out, surprised as all hell that Kyle actually said that. "My dear Kyle, I'm not the one you need to be afraid of!" He laughed and shook his head. "I'm not the one who's going to shoot you down. _Not now,_ that is," he assured, crossing his legs as he brought his hand up to explain. "Because you're right! I do need to mooch off of your intelligence for a while, but only for a _while_."

He regained his seriousness suddenly, preparing to speak to Kyle with a set heart. "Because I do need to leave here," he stated bluntly, his voice retaining its confidence. "You say you need to move to keep your sanity? Well Kyle, you don't know the half of it."

He averted his gaze, looking to the bookshelf in the corner as he admitted, "If I don't get out of here on time, I know for a fact that everything I've ever worked for, everything that I've _slaved _over… will be for naught." He closed his eyes, giving a deep sigh before opening them back up. He puffed slightly before concluding, "And then you'll get your wish." He looked back up at Kyle. "I'll be _killed_."

...

Kyle was about to make a retort about how he never said Cartman _was_ scaring him, only that he seemed to _want_ to, but it fell away as the fatass kept talking. His last comment surprised Kyle; he hadn't expected such a blunt response.

"… Why?" he asked slowly, genuinely curious. "Why do you have a deadline? Who's going to kill you?"

...

"That's something you do not need to concern yourself with," Eric insisted, still gazing into Kyle's eyes. His soulful brown orbs were filled with urgency. "But know this: if I'm left in this town with no purpose, which _will_ happen if I don't get into the college of my choosing," he paused, frowning slightly as he really thought about the consequences. "My life will be in danger."

He didn't want to sound so emo, but he really wanted Kyle to know how serious this was to him. At this point in time, Eric understood that the only way Kyle could ever really achieve happiness would be to move away from South Park. And Eric's state of being was reliant on Kyle's state of being. Eric didn't necessarily want Kyle 'happy', but he _did_ want Kyle energetic and full of life, which obviously wouldn't happen if he was stuck here.

That's why he had to move with him. This wasn't something he could take lightly. Therefore, Eric really tried to stare into Kyle's soul, _begging _for him _to just get it_, yet still holding back somewhat in fear that it could all go terribly wrong.

...

This was getting too weird. Cartman actually seemed like he was being _honest_ and… there was a strange sort of pleading look in his eyes that really threw Kyle off.

"O-ok," he said quietly. He still didn't understand how college was all of a sudden life or death for Cartman, but the kid was clearly serious about it. Desperate, even. "I believe you."

He sighed and lowered his gaze. "I already told you I'd help you. So don't worry… you'll get into college. Just… I don't get why you're so interested in 'helping' me. It has nothing to do with you."

...

_Oh God, but it'll have everything to do with you, Kyle. It just will. _

"Good then," Eric responded, clamming back up as he took a deep breath. "And now that you see the consequences that I'll have to face if this doesn't go the way I need it to, then maybe you'll start to understand why I want to help _you_ Kyle."

He moved one of his legs over to graze Kyle's lightly as he suggested, "I have an idea. Why don't we go out somewhere for our next session? As in like, out of the school?" He gazed at Kyle with a very interested expression on his face and perked one of his eyebrows. "Like for coffee one night. I'll treat. Besides, I really do appreciate your _efforts_ in assisting me through this challenge."

...

Kyle smirked up at Cartman. "Gee, that sounds an awful lot like a date," he said jokingly. "I'm going to have to pass."

He casually shifted in his seat so that their legs weren't touching any longer. "Besides, I'd rather not be seen in public with you. Take Butters out for coffee if you really want to _treat_ someone."

...

Oh Eric loved playing this little game. "A date?" he scoffed, pretending to be flustered though his eyes ignited back to their playful demeanor. "Well, aren't we a tad presumptuous?"

Noting that Kyle had shifted his leg away from him, Eric boldly grabbed it back into place as he explained, "No, Kyle, this isn't a date. I'm just trying to make this more interesting for us… more enjoyable, if you will." He began to tap his fingers against Kyle's kneecap. "Now, I know you can't stand the thought of hanging around me or –" he gasped mockingly. "– being seen in public with me." He smirked, releasing Kyle's leg to bring his hand up to inspect his fingernails. "But I have a café in mind that's a good distance away from here. No one would spot us."

He sensually gazed back at Kyle before insisting, "I _just_ want to pay you some common courtesy for what you'll be helping me with. Now, if I was insisting on taking you to the _movies_ as well, then maybe I'd understand your concern." He laughed again, rolling his eyes before peering back to Kyle. "But this is just a casual get together over schoolwork. Nothing more."

He then kicked Kyle's shin slightly. "And don't bring Butters into this ever again, especially if you're going to insinuate something as ridiculous as some sort of _attraction_ between us. Have I brought up Stan in that same regard with you? I don't think so," he joked, cracking a knowing grin.

...

Kyle blushed, but bit back defiantly, "Well, there's a _bit_ more reason to assume things about you and Butters. After all… _I've_ never had Stan's dick in my mouth. Somehow I can't say the same about you and Butters… I wonder why that is?"

He cocked an eyebrow at Cartman, knowing his comment would get to him. Despite their being only nine years old at the time, it was still funny to think about that incident – and he knew Cartman was still really embarrassed about it.

"Anyway," he said, laughing a bit. "I guess I can't turn down free coffee. As long as you're driving, I'll go."

...

Eric almost vomited as he remembered that horrific detail of his life, but the memory disappeared once he heard Kyle actually agree to go out with him.

He perked his brow curiously. "Really, you'll go?" he asked childishly, but quickly resumed his cockiness. "I mean… of course you'll go. I wouldn't have taken no for an answer anyway." He chuckled, leaning in closer to Kyle as he dared to grab both of his legs now. "I take my personal affairs very seriously and this, my dear friend," he said, shifting his hand slightly up Kyle's leg and looking at him deviously. "Is a _personal affair_."

But before Kyle could protest he suddenly let go and diverted, "So what night is best for you? I'll pick you up from your house and we can get there without anyone knowing." His voice revealed his obvious excitement as he imagined Kyle's surprise over what king of café he'd be taking him to.

...

_What the Hell did I just agree to?_ Kyle wondered, his legs still tingling strangely at the spots where Cartman had touched him. "Um, I guess… Friday?" he said unsurely.

...

"Friday's fine!" Eric replied, standing up to gather his things together.

"And oh! Dress warmly," he suggested, putting his books in his bag. "The café I'm taking you to is really far up in the mountains and even though it's almost summer, it'll still be chilly up there."

"So let's see…" Eric looked back over to Kyle, amused by how distraught he looked. "7:00?"

...

"Um, sure," Kyle said, beginning to pack up his things as well. "I'll see you then, I guess."

As he left the library, he couldn't help but think that Cartman was probably going to bring him into the mountains to kill him. It made perfect sense. Kyle had essentially told him he didn't want to go out in public or be seen by anyone they knew – which opened the door for Cartman to bring him to a secluded area to throw him off a cliff or burn him alive or slit his throat and watch him die…

_Ugh, what the Hell?_ he asked himself in an attempt to brush off those fears. _I've been watching too many crime shows._

…

**A/N:** That was really short, I know, so we'll be posting the next chapter within the next few days to make up for it. We won't make you guys wait another week! :D Feedback is loved!


	4. May 14th

**A/N:** As promised, here is chapter four, a little earlier than usual because chapter three was so short. Herein lies what could very well be considered their first date. :D

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Four – Friday, May 14th

It was hard for Eric to go through the motions during Thursday and Friday's lessons, but he knew he couldn't push his agenda too much, especially now that his little Jew agreed to go on a date with him – and he even used that term! Well… of course he didn't really _believe_ it was a date and Eric couldn't act like it was… but to him? In all seriousness? Yes. This was a date, and he was aiming to impress.

That's why he wanted to take Kyle out to this particular café. He actually went to this place often, since it was tucked away and pretty exclusive to a certain group of people. Meaning they would only accept reservations from people who, well, knew how to 'speak the language'.

After dressing up for the occasion (dress khakis, red button up, black silk tie, and matching black coat and hat), Eric made sure to fix his hair properly, apply the right amount of cologne, and, of course, call the place to reserve a table for two. After getting into his car, Eric slid in Rammstein's "Liebe ist für alle da" album and looked into his rearview mirror.

He looked awesome. Not surprising, seeing as though this would be an awesome night.

He pulled out of his driveway and sped down the road with his windows down, impatient as all hell to get to Kyle's so that the night could get started.

...

Kyle was nervous for a lot of reasons. One, Eric Cartman was picking him up _at his house_, so there was a chance his parents would see. Two, if they _did_ see, he would have to explain to them why they were hanging out again. Three, once he explained, he would be bombarded with reasons why he should focus on his _own _education and volunteer with people who would actually _appreciate_ his help. Four, and most importantly, he was still suspicious of what the night would entail, despite – or perhaps because of – the fact that Cartman was on his best behavior during their last two lessons.

"Dress warmly," he reminded himself absently as he looked through his closet. After going through about half of what he owned, he settled on a simple white t-shirt and a green v-neck sweater to go over it. _This is warm enough, probably_. Completing the outfit with jeans and his everyday black Converse shoes, he decided he looked sufficiently casual. His parents wouldn't question his 'going out with Stan' excuse in this outfit.

Checking himself out in the mirror briefly, he ran his hands through his hair once before heading downstairs to wait for the arrival of his arch enemy. Luckily, his parents were in the kitchen scolding Ike for making his classmates feel stupid again (he was in the middle school and the Middle and North park kids still weren't used to having a boy genius around).

When he saw the car pull up, he grabbed his brown pea coat just in case and yelled loudly that he was leaving. Then he left without giving his mom a chance to come out and ask him where and with who. Once he was settled in the passenger seat of Cartman's car, he didn't even look at the larger boy as he urged anxiously, "Go, go, go! Before she can see you!"

...

"Yes sir," Eric kidded as he shifted the car into drive. He sped to the main road, at which point he dared to look over at what his Jew decided to wear tonight.

A freaking sweater and chucks? How boring and unoriginal!

"Christ Kyle, could you get anymore plain?" he scoffed, turning down the volume on 'Ich tu dir weh' so he could more effectively harass the Jew. "I'm actually taking you some place very nice, so you could have least _tried_." He turned on his turn signal and turned onto the two lane highway leading out of South Park.

...

"What, this _is_ nice!" Kyle defended, looking down at himself. His jeans didn't even have any holes in them and the sweater may not have been _fancy_, but it wasn't exactly _grungy_. At least he wasn't just wearing a t-shirt over a long sleeved shirt like he normally did. He turned to look Cartman up and down. "At least I don't look like I'm trying to be Billy Joe Armstrong, assface!"

...

Rolling his eyes at Kyle's little defense, Eric looked back over and conceded, "Okay you don't look that bad, Jew." He carried his arm over to place his hand on the back of Kyle's seat, eyeing those magnificent curls of his. "You actually look pretty good, even though I'm not sure if that sweater will be enough."

…

Kyle ignored Cartman's strange little compliment, and instead turned his attention toward the music that was playing. "What is this, anyway?" he asked, beckoning toward the car radio.

…

Looking back to the road, Eric answered sardonically, "Well it's certainly not Green Day. I'm pretty sure Rammstein could give them a run for their money." He tapped his hand on the steering wheel to the tempo of the song and laughed. "Fucking pansies… you know, Billie Joe Armstrong wouldn't be such a little douche if he'd just stick to his answers regarding his sexuality. Once he says he's bi, it only takes two days for him to revoke that statement and go 'oh no I'm straight.'" He rolled his eyes. "Make up your damn mind..."

...

Kyle laughed. "Um, thanks for that little bit of info," he said. "I don't exactly keep up with Green Day, sorry, I just know what he looks like. But maybe he's just confused. It doesn't really matter whose pants he wants to get into… at least to people who don't and will never know him."

He looked out the window and watched the scenery go by. The sun was disappearing behind the trees, so the world was bathed in twilight. It was Kyle's favorite part about the summer. Late sunsets.

"So what is this 'very nice' place you're taking me for this non-date?" he asked after a moment, smirking over at Cartman.

...

_Non-date. _Eric chuckled at that. "Well… as a hint, I guess I would pay attention to the songs playing," he said, nodding to the radio. 'Haifisch' had just come on. "Because the only reason I'm able to come to this place, and bring guests, is because I can communicate with the people who own the café." He turned off of the highway and onto the dark, winding road where the lodge was located.

"It's really pretty though," he mentioned, driving over a bridge which stretched across a mountain stream. "Especially during these hours." He looked out at the twilight sky. "Since it's so high up, you can see the stars really well."

He looked back to the road in time to see the entrance to the lodge's long driveway. "In the summer they have stargazing nights… they bring out a huge telescope and everything, and it's all for free if you're a member." They approached a little toll booth with a retractable pole blocking the road.

Coming to a stop, Eric stuck his head out to the person inside and spoke out, "Wir haben eine reservierung mit das Kaffeehaus, unter Eric Cartman?"

After a couple seconds, the person behind the booth replied, "Ja, es ist hier – Guten Abend." The pole lifted, allowing the car access.

...

Kyle just stared at Cartman in amazement. He knew from their tutoring lessons that he was taking German, but he had no idea he was so into it. It was actually kind of impressive, though Cartman had always had a way with languages. This one fit him well, though (but he would never say this to the boy's face, because Kyle could only imagine _why_ he was taking German).

"Cartman. I don't speak German," he said under his breath, suddenly realizing that if the entire place consisted of Germans, he would feel completely left out and stupid.

...

"Shhh… you don't need to worry about that," Eric insisted, shushing Kyle's concerns as he continued to drive up the mountain. "I'll translate everything that's said to you as well as the menu options they have." He smiled. "Since I pay my annual dues you can order anything you want in whatever quantity you want it in– and I will tell you right now that their food is excellent." He peered over at the redhead and then back to the road before turning around the last bend. "And in about a second you'll see it."

There, in the clearing past the last swerve in the road, was a decent sized mountain resort complete with vintage German architecture and Bavarian décor. It was perched on top the mountain like a Swiss Ski Lodge and the ornate lights and landscaping signaled that this was no ordinary café. It was complete with an outdoor patio and luxury restaurant which over looked the slope of the mountain, a beer garden which connected to the surrounding forest, and inside would be the stately café for more casual affairs.

Pulling into the parking lot, Eric picked out a spot which overlooked the whole complex.

"Kyle…" he called to get his date's attention. "Welcome to the exclusive clubhouse of the German Society of Colorado."

...

"It's amazing," Kyle blurted out breathlessly, staring out at the lodge. "I've never even heard of the German Society before… I would have been fine with a Starbucks, you know."

He put his hand on the door handle, but suddenly a thought occurred to him. He immediately retracted his hand and looked over at Cartman. "This isn't some Nazi place is it?" he asked skeptically. He knew that modern Germany was nothing like the Germany of World War II, but with Cartman… it seemed like a safe bet that the inside of the lodge would be decorated with Nazi paraphernalia and vintage propaganda.

...

Eric laughed heartily and shook his head. "Lord, God no…" he assured, looking back to the lodge. "These people have nothing to do with Nazis."

He opened his door before giving Kyle a stern look. "Even though I may have an interest in the Third Reich, it has nothing to do with my membership – and I'd like it to stay that way," he warned before stepping out and slamming the door behind him.

Eric began to walk around to the other side of the car. "You wanted to make sure no one would see us," he said, raising his voice so that Kyle could still hear him. He opened Kyle's door for him and peered down at the skeptical redhead. "And I'm pretty sure I'm the only one of your friends who belongs to such a prestigious society."

...

"We're not friends," Kyle chided as he got out of the car. He turned and grabbed his coat. It _was_ pretty cold up here. "But fine. I'll take your word for it."

He threw on his coat and shot Cartman a pointed look. "If these people don't want anything to do with the Third Reich, you should probably behave yourself tonight. Or I might accidentally let something _slip_."

_He actually does look nice, _Kyle thought as he turned to walk toward the building. He felt considerably underdressed, and he hated Cartman for not warning him that the "café" was essentially a fucking _country club_.

...

"Oh, resorting to blackmail now are you?" Eric shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked up to the entrance with Kyle next to him. "Well, as I said, tonight is cordial," he insisted, looking down at Kyle. "That pea coat looks nice on you, by the way. At least that was a good move…"

As they approached the first set of stairs, Eric glanced up at the mountains above. "Hey, stop for a second." He reached out to stop Kyle from taking additional steps, pointing to mountain range, which the sun was setting behind. "You don't often get to see the sunset from this altitude, it's really something," he said, continuing to watch as the multi-colored sky started to dim. His eyes were still illuminated in their mahogany splendor when he shifted his focus back to his Jew, the sight just as magnificent.

...

It _was_ beautiful, there was no denying it. But it was cold and Kyle was uncomfortable with how watching a sunset with someone was, well, commonly associated with _romance_. If he didn't feel so awkward he would have laughed at the thought, but instead, he just began to walk up the steps.

"Let's just go inside," he said, determined not to look at Cartman.

...

When Kyle rushed past him, Eric felt somewhat dismayed as he remembered that Kyle probably didn't really want to be here. Exhaling despondently, he began to follow Kyle inside. "Right."

Inside, the whole lobby was decorated with gold and red colors. Several regional German flags were hanging in a line with the country's official flag and EU flags surrounding them. Knowing that Kyle had no clue where to go, Eric came up close behind him and whispered, "It's over here. You're not supposed to speak English here but if it's just between you and me they won't really care." Then he cautiously took Kyle's arm to bring him over to the door leading to the humble little café.

...

Kyle let Cartman lead him into the café, though he was sufficiently nervous. He wondered if he would actually get in trouble for speaking English here. God, he had no idea Colorado had a large German population… at least, not one that _only_ spoke German.

"I get it," he muttered under his breath so only Cartman would hear. "You brought me here so you could shut me up and show off your little _hobby_."

... 

Eric smirked deviously and narrowed his eyes. "You catch on quick," he teased, opening the door to the café with Kyle's arm essentially locked in his own.

The café looked exactly like how the kitchen of an old German grandmother would. Little Bavarian trinkets lined the walls and a wood burning furnace sat in the center of the room. The whole place was illuminated by hanging candelabras with real candles, and every table was lined with antique table cloths and centerpieces consisting of a single red rose within a vase.

Eric had forgotten how romantic this little cafe could seem to someone who wasn't familiar with Bavarian décor. "I assure you," he whispered, his expression flustered. "That the romantic atmosphere in here is only paying homage to real Bavarian hole-in-the-wall joints."

He left Kyle to pick out a seat as he went to inform the woman behind the counter of their arrival.

...

_Yeah right_, Kyle thought as he looked around at the candles and roses. _Jesus Christ…_

He meandered over to one of the empty tables. It was out of the way and near a window – slightly colder than those situated near the furnace, but obviously more scenic. He watched as Cartman spoke to the barista and then proceeded to make his way to the table Kyle picked out.

"You had to make a reservation for a coffee shop?" he asked skeptically when the brunet sat down. He gently touched the rose in the center of the table – it was real. "I have to say, Cartman… I _really_ don't know what to make of this."

...

"I wouldn't think much of it other than what I described before – a cordial meeting," Eric insisted, noticing that Kyle picked out a table with a pretty nice view of the mountain range. "As I've surely said, I don't want anyone else to know of our recent association either…"

He eyed Kyle as he delicately played with the petals of the rose, his fingers so gentle in their movements. Eric swallowed a lump of want before continuing, "So I knew this was a good place to take you." He laughed and grabbed one of the menus. "Besides, this is probably one of the nicer places you've been to around here and… I just want you to remember who took you here."

...

"Yeah, whatever," Kyle said, picking up the remaining menu. Upon opening, he was reminded of what Cartman had said about everything being in German. _Ugh._ "Uh… Just order me a coffee with cream and whatever sugar substitute they have."

He put the menu aside and propped one of his elbows on the table, chin resting in the palm of his hand as he looked out the window. It was getting dark, the sunset now only a meager sliver of purple behind the mountains. Colorado really _was_ a beautiful place, though that was easy to forget in such a God forsaken town as South Park. He would miss the mountains when he was gone. And the stars. Especially the stars.

"We should have brought school work," he said suddenly, realizing he had absolutely nothing to say to Cartman. He didn't look away from the window as he continued, "We could have gotten something done tonight."

...

Putting down his own menu, Eric looked back at Kyle with unconvinced eyes. "Well that's not true." He folded his arms into the table as he continued to eye Kyle from where he sat, giving a taunting smirk. "Lesson Three – Outings with someone you barely even know."

Eric looked to the rose again before reaching out to touch one of its petals. "It's almost half way into the semester when you've realized that you really haven't gone out as much as you would have liked these past couple of months. You're in a brand new city and the most you have seen is just the surrounding campus." Putting his hand back down, Eric noticed the close proximity of Kyle's hand and he forced himself to resist the urge to touch it. "However, as luck may have it, a classmate who had caught your interest actually asks you to go out one night to a local coffee shop – just to talk."

He shrugged, tapping his fingers against the table cloth. "The area is completely alien to you, but the person you're with seems to have some idea of the city – something you rely once the person brings you off campus," he said, glancing at Kyle, his warm brown eyes gleaming in the candle light. "How can you use this situation to your advantage? Do you consider this outing as a mere 'talk' or, perhaps, something more?"

He finished just as the barista came over to ask for their selections; Eric responded to her in flawless German.

...

Kyle looked away from the window and toward Cartman without changing his position. He listened to him order their menu items and watched as the barista wrote everything down (and he didn't miss the look she gave him – she was probably wondering why Cartman was ordering for him). Once she walked away, he focused on his sort-of-not-really-friend-thing. What _was _their relationship, anyway? Why the fuck was he having coffee at a candlelit lodge with someone he detested?

"I don't know, Cartman," he said, removing his hand from his chin to run it through his hair. He then leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. "_Most_ people would inform someone if they were taking them on a date, so I can only guess that this person really does want to just hang out. That is, assuming the coffee shop is more… _standard_ than this one."

...

"Eh, but you can never really tell," Eric alluded before sipping one of the glasses of water the barista had already carried over. "The person might have just said it was a 'hang out' kind of thing but…" He placed the glass back on the table.

"He may have some real interest in you," he concluded, unaware that he just gave this 'person' a definitive pronoun.

...

Kyle's eyes widened, though he didn't budge from his defensive arms-crossed position. _He?_ he thought, suitably panicked. _Does Cartman think I'm gay? Oh God_. He suddenly realized how many times he'd referred to how strangely date-like this outing was. He was only joking! Cartman couldn't possibly think… that he thought… Oh _God._ The last thing he wanted was for the fatass to get any ideas about him, regardless of how true those 'ideas' might be.

"Well…" he said, breaking eye contact with the boy sitting across from him. "_He'd_ be out of luck, and… the coffee thing would get really awkward really fast. And… yeah."

He tried to keep himself from blushing as he stared determinedly out of the window. "Good lesson," he said quickly. "Move on, please."

...

Eric scoffed a tad as he moved his water out of the way. "But then you'd be dissing the one person who actually reached out to you during the transition time at your new college!" he argued, not willing to let this lesson drop as he watched Kyle's eyes glimmer in the candlelight.

"It's not a good idea to shoot someone down just because they want to get to know you better! As a matter of fact, you should use that opportunity to get to know the _other person_ better! You might find the person… surprisingly resourceful," he hinted, taking another sip of his drink as the barista delivered their small fare – Eric giving a pleasant "Danke Schön" as she left.

"But leave it to you to throw a 'JP' tantrum and leave him to question what was up your ass…" he teased, obviously joking as he scooted the plate of snacks in Kyle's direction, _kindly_ offering him some.

...

"JP tantrum?" he asked before realization dawned on him. _Jew Princess_. "Oh, fuck you!"

He reached out to pull one of the glasses of water toward him, completely ignoring the plate of snacks. "I _really_ don't need to take advice on forming relationships from you, Cartman," he spat. "Seeing as I happen to have _just a few_ more friends than you do, I think I have things covered in that area."

He crossed his legs and took a small sip of his water before leaning forward. "And I _thought_ I told you I didn't need or want your help. I would _really_ appreciate it if you would stop treating me like some weak-willed stupid piece of crap. I can take care of myself, God damn it!"

...

"And see that's where I'm concerned," Eric said before taking a bite out of his Hörnchen. "I don't think you really _do_ know what's good for you." He laughed a bit, some crumbs falling off onto the small plate below. "You're so engrossed in your studies and future that you're not really taking care of yourself _now!_"

He wiped his lips and looked back up at his dear Kyle. "It seems as though your life is going to school, waiting for Stan to finish his 'whatever' practice before he rides off with Wendy in the front seat…." He grabbed another snack before he snapped, "And you in the back."

Eric let that settle for a second. "You see, Kyle, I don't think this person you'd meet at your college would do that." He shook his head, reaching out to pull the rose out of the vase so he could caress the bloom. "I think he would let you ride in the front seat of his car, and show you beautiful places you didn't even know existed… alongside cultures that were once alien to you."

He brought his thumb down to one of the rose's thorns. "But you wouldn't give this guy a chance – no," he snapped as he painfully pressed his thumb into the sharp point. "I don't think you would at all – because to you?" He slowly brought his thumb off the thorn, a drop of blood slowly trickling down the digit. "He's a stranger. And you wouldn't even give him the chance to show you who he really is." He glanced at Kyle with a bold but saddened expression before grabbing a napkin to mend his bleeding thumb.

...

"Oh stop it, Cartman," Kyle snapped. "I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to get me to say 'Oh, ok! I'll give this _guy_ a chance and let him show me _beautiful places_'… and then you'll call me a fag and laugh in my face. Well fuck you, I'm not falling for it."

"You know, you should start putting more effort into your bullshit," he sneered. "It's so _obvious_ what you're trying to do. You're getting rusty, Cartman."

He crossed his arms again and glared at the brunet. "I don't know why I let you bring me here," he said in an exasperated tone. "Can you bring me home please?"

...

"You haven't even gotten your coffee yet!" Eric argued, not letting himself take Kyle seriously as he took another one of his snacks. "And everything you just said is wrong, by the way." He leaned back into his chair and threw up his hands defensively. "When during this whole thing have I ever outright insulted you and laughed in your face about it? If you ask me, it would be downright stupid for me to do that now that my grades are starting to improve and you're actually allowing me to hang out with you more."

He glared at Kyle from across the table as the light from the moon poured into the quaint coffee shop. "And why did you agree to do this in the first place?" He leaned into the table, showing Kyle his dead-set determined eyes as he pointed out rather pungently, "Have you already forgotten that you're the one who suggested that there is still an ounce of good in me?"

Feeling a bolt of pain strike his heart, Eric winced slightly as his voice faltered, "Why won't you let me _show you_ that ounce of good?" And at that moment, the barista finally delivered their drinks.

...

"No, Cartman, _you_ said you had good in you," Kyle snapped once the barista walked away. "_I_ said that I tried really fucking hard for _years_ to see that good and you proved me wrong again and again. So no, I _don't_ see good in you. I see that you want to raise your grades for your _own_ improvement, which is good, but it doesn't mean _you're_ good."

He angrily brought his coffee cup to his mouth and took a sip – and it was really fucking good, he had to admit. He set his coffee back down and looked straight into Cartman's brown eyes.

"And… I don't know why I agreed to the tutoring. I didn't before and I still don't. Fuck, I can't believe I even agreed to come _here_ with you – a place I don't know, far away from town, and I can't leave because _you_ drove," he said, frowning.

He sighed. It was true, maybe he was an idiot for coming here. But it wasn't exactly the worst night ever, and it _was_ a nice place. There just had to be something more to this than Cartman's stupid life lessons. "Be honest for once in your life, Cartman. Why did you bring me here, really? I'm just not getting it."

...

"I already told you why I brought you here," Eric spoke, his voice disappointed as he slowly brought up his coffee cup. "But you didn't care to listen." He closed his eyes, letting the hot liquid sear his throat before bringing the cup back down.

"I let you sit… in the front seat of my car, I brought you to a beautiful place you didn't even know existed, and I introduced you to a culture that you're pretty much alien to," he pointed out, not knowing why Kyle didn't see the connection before. "You see, I'm willing to make this experience much more enjoyable for the both of us, because I want to know just as badly as you do… why you agreed to help me."

He furrowed his brow, gripping onto his cup as he kept direct eye contact with his Jew. "I desperately want to know, actually." He sipped his coffee again, looking out of the window into the clear night sky. "Because - if you want honesty, fine."

He glared back down at Kyle, not really ready to reveal this but knowing now was as good a time as any: "Nothing would make me happier than to know you're as enthused about my possible future as I am."

...

Kyle leapt up like the table was on fire. No, this wasn't happening. It wasn't happening! It wasn't. It just _couldn't_. He didn't see it before. He hadn't made the connection, but it seemed so _obvious_ now and he felt like vomiting. The stupid coffee analogy, with the fucking college guy being_ interested_ in him. Front seat of the car, beautiful places – FUCK.

"Take me home. Take me home right now!" he cried in a panicked voice, not paying any mind to the other people present. His heart was racing and it felt like the walls were closing in on him. He grabbed his coat and quickly left the café, knowing that he couldn't exactly run away – Cartman was his ride after all. But God, it would buy him some time since Cartman still had to pay.

_Oh God oh God oh God oh God_, he repeated endlessly in his mind. What was this? What the fuck was he playing at in there? _God FUCKING damn it_.

He found his way to Cartman's car but quickly discovered that the doors were locked. He let out a frustrated cry as he kicked the passenger door once. This was so embarrassing and he was completely trapped and Cartman would catch up to him in mere moments. There was nothing he could do to escape and _why the fuck was his heart beating like this_.

...

Standing there at the entrance of the lodge, with the moon illuminating the whole elaborate facility, Eric glared at the redhead who was so desperately fighting with the passenger door of his car. Eric's black coat flapped in the night wind and his expression did not convey any sign of sadness, happiness, or fury. No, only _presence_. He was there, watching as this scene unfolded. Never taking his eyes off his dear Jew, he began to take slow steps down the wooden stairs.

With his boots making slight clunking sounds with every step he took, Eric wordlessly proceeded to his car, bringing out his keys as he casually walked over to the driver's side. Peering down as he opened the driver's side door, he then got in before teasingly starting the car with Kyle still outside.

Finally, with a loud **CLICK, **the passenger door opened, and Eric shot Kyle a smirk from his seat.

...

Kyle frowned and got into the car, not looking at Cartman. He slammed the door shut and buckled his seatbelt before crossing his arms and slumping down in his seat. He determinedly stared ahead, eyes moist with the angry and embarrassed tears threatening to fall.

"I hate you," he said in a low voice, as if this clarification would make any difference.

...

Reaching over to put his hand on Kyle's chair as he backed out of the parking spot, Eric sighed. "Well… from the conclusion that you may or may not have drawn from my honest answer – I obviously don't." He began to drive away from the lodge as he quickly added, "As much…."

"That is….I mean…" he started to stutter before exhaling raggedly to steady himself, driving down the mountainside at a surprisingly high speed. "I'll always hate you, but…" He laughed sadly. "That's not all."

He peered over to Kyle, not quite upset that his Jew might now be aware of how he really felt, but certainly unsure of how things would progress from here.

...

"Slow the fuck down, I'm not dying up here with you," Kyle grumbled.

After a few minutes, he dared to look at Cartman, who was focusing on the road. His face was completely blank – Kyle couldn't tell at all what he was thinking, which just made this all the more frustrating for him. So he looked away, and instead focused on the glove box.

"I don't want to tutor you anymore," he said once he finally got up the courage, his heart racing. "What you said… back there… I… I don't want to tutor you anymore. Drop me off tonight and don't talk to me anymore."

...

Eric let out a pained breath before pursing his lips together, keeping quiet as he continued to stare at the road. Quickly peering over to his CD player, he pushed the 'play' button. The song was still 'Haifisch', which made the brunet's heart pang as he took in the lyrics. They seemed to match this whole situation. He looked over to Kyle, who was still so angry and confused over his vague admission.

With the German lyrics pumping out into the car, Eric glanced back to the road as he started to quietly translate, wanting Kyle to hear but not wanting to be too obvious: "And the shark, it in fact has tears, which stream down its face – but since the shark lives in water, no one sees them."

Gripping onto the steering wheel as he started to feel a wave of grief hit him, Eric held back his own angry tears and finished through gritted teeth, "In the deep it is lonely, and so many a tear is shed – so it is that the ocean only tastes of salt." He continued to stare at the road as his eyes expanded and his heart turned to solid ice.

...

"Stop it, Cartman," Kyle commanded bitterly. "I don't want to hear you translate your stupid German music."

He continued to glare straight ahead in silence for a few minutes, his head spinning from what had happened, how he reacted, and the awkwardness pressing down on him right now.

"_God damn it_," he muttered finally before looking over at Cartman. He couldn't take the silence anymore. "How could you think… why did you…? It wasn't even going _that bad_ and you had to go and… fuck it up… Why the hell did you say that stuff back there?" He could feel his face burning up and he was glad Cartman couldn't really see him in the dark. "About the guy in New York… and about you. Why did you say that?"

...

"You can think of me however you want, but what I said at the lodge tonight was only to get you to understand that I wanted our sessions to be enjoyable. That's all," he bit out, still looking at the road as Rammstein continued to play.

"If you're going to leave here one day, and still think bitterly of me," he growled, lowering his head slightly. "Then I wanted to remind you of what you'd be leaving – what I could show you. I mean, I wanted our tutoring sessions to at least be pleasant. So maybe," he glared over to Kyle, his eyes less threatening now. "You could still have that glimmer of hope for me."

...

"O-oh," Kyle stuttered, flushing more. "That's… ok… I guess, um… sorry."

He looked back toward the road, mouth slightly open. He couldn't believe it. He just freaked out over _nothing_. Cartman would probably go home and laugh at him for _hours_ because he successfully tricked Kyle into thinking he… well, it doesn't matter what he tricked him into thinking. Not anymore. And he wouldn't say it. He wouldn't even think it.

The point was that he overreacted and he felt absolutely humiliated now, albeit… far more comfortable and quite relieved.

"I… I'm sorry for making you leave," he said quietly, looking down at his lap in shame. "And for making a scene. I hope no one you knew was there."

...

"You're quite the firecracker Jew," Eric teased, quite relieved that Kyle seemed to be off the trail. "And no, I didn't know anyone there." He laughed, relaxing into his chair before sighing contentedly. "Actually… as a matter of fact, that was the first time I went into the café part of the lodge."

He slid his eyes over to Kyle as they entered the South Park town limits. "Seeing as though…" he suddenly frowned, realizing what he was about to say. "I really don't have anyone else to bring."

...

"You have Butters, don't you?" Kyle asked. "Kenny?"

He wanted to remind Cartman that they weren't even friends and this was _supposed_ to be a business outing, but… he felt that might be inappropriate at the moment.

He finally let himself get comfortable as he curled up in his seat and turned to watch Cartman's face. Throwing temper tantrums was surprisingly tiring, he remembered as he stifled a yawn. It had been some time since he'd freaked out like that.

...

"Guh… it bewilders me that you really still think I'm friends with Butters," he scoffed, turning into a familiar road. "And Kenny… he wouldn't be someone I'd bring to _there."_ He gazed over to his tired redhead, whose eyes were getting heavier as he rested his head against the door. He looked too adorable. Eric knew he had to focus on the road, but seeing Kyle like this was quite titillating.

"Kyle… I want to know… Why did you fly off the handle like that?" he asked as sincerely as possible, knowing what the answer probably was.

"I mean, I think I made no suggestions that warranted that kind of reaction," he somewhat scolded, liking this disciplinary position. "I only insinuated that I wanted to make our sessions more pleasant, and that I wanted you to have better memories of me. And the… ounce of hope thing too… but, what did you get from that? Honestly?" He peered down to Kyle as the car approached the Jew's home.

...

"I thought… you were hitting on me," Kyle answered honestly, deciding it would be ok to say it now that he knew it wasn't true. "Weird, right? I guess it was just, like, the café and then that lesson thing… I dunno."

...

"PSHHHH Kyle, dear God, keep it in your pants," Eric teased, his own pants becoming slightly tighter. "I know this whole coffee thing might have been misleading, but no, I was not hitting on you."

He pulled into Kyle's driveway and added, "The allusion was a tad blunt… but who knows!" He put the car into park as he spoke with a hint of unintentional sadness, "Maybe you will meet someone over there that will let you sit in the front seat of their car, and show you amazing places and cultures." He shook his head slightly; exhaling a long breath as he aimlessly stared ahead at Kyle's house. "And would only want your mutual feelings in return."

...

"Yeah… maybe," Kyle said awkwardly, putting his hand on the door handle. Now Cartman was _sure _to go home and laugh for hours about this. God knows he would if their positions were reversed. He sighed. Maybe if he ended this on a good note, the fat ass wouldn't start spreading rumors about him. Cartman was a master at twisting words, so he was better safe than sorry.

"I know this didn't go how you wanted, Cartman," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

...

Noticing that Kyle was actually apologizing for his behavior, Eric looked over and grinned incredulously. "This isn't like you, Kyle. I would have thought after this whole thing you'd tell me to suck it and then slam the door on my face." He closed his eyes and looked down sheepishly. "But you didn't, so I guess that's cool."

He peered back up, thinking about whether he should make this next move… but seeing as though he got away with a lot of other things tonight, he decided to go for it. He moved his hand on top of Kyle's, non-threateningly, but rather sincerely. "So can we go through with this? Or do I have to sit here and explain myself more?" He lowered his eyelids, masking his enamored feelings with a teasing smirk.

...

Kyle stiffened at the touch and felt the heat rising in his cheeks again, though he couldn't begin to explain why. He gently, but quickly, removed his hand from under Cartman's and opened the car door.

"Yeah… yeah, that's fine," he said, having almost forgotten that he ended their tutoring at the beginning of the car ride. "Sorry about that. And… no, this was my fault… I wouldn't have the right to slam the door in your face."

...

"So when do you want to meet again?" Eric politely asked, watching eagerly as the moon illuminated Kyle's blushing face.

...

"Monday?" Kyle asked. "If that's ok for you."

...

"Certainly," Eric responded professionally. "I'll be sure to have the worksheets you gave me today completed upon my arrival." He continued to eye Kyle curiously, perturbed despite his seemingly genuine smile. "Good Night."

...

"… Yeah," Kyle said slowly as he pushed the door all the way open and stepped out of the car. "Bye."

He slammed the door and walked toward his house, digging in his coat pocket for his key. He was glad to be out of there and away from Cartman, but when he heard the car start to back out of his driveway, he couldn't help but look back.

...

Eric looked toward Kyle as well, silently communicating with his eyes that something definitely changed between them that night – whether he wanted it or not. The fact that Kyle actually looked back at him from the door signaled to Eric that maybe he did make all the right moves, as degrading as they might have seemed at the time. So, once he finished backing out of the driveway, Eric reluctantly looked away from the redhead to make his way back to his own house.

…

**A/N:** And so it begins. Reviews are loved! 3


	5. May 26th

**A/N:** Thanks again to everyone who subscribed, faved, or reviewed! :D

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Five – Wednesday, May 26th

In the week following the whole… _café incident_, Kyle couldn't help but notice that Cartman had done absolutely nothing. He certainly hadn't told the whole school about how Kyle had freaked out, and he hadn't twisted what happened into some kind of "Kyle's gay you guys!" spiel. As far as Kyle knew, Cartman wasn't using what happened to make him a laughing stock. Which was good, albeit… surprising. Beyond that, Cartman hadn't given him any more stupid "life lessons", nor had he gotten uncomfortably close to Kyle. He hadn't even made fun of him at all, not even for being Jewish (besides the occasional use of "Jew" instead of his name – but even that wasn't done maliciously).

Needless to say, Kyle was relieved. However… a small part of him was oddly disappointed, though he would never say so out loud.

After what had happened at the café, Kyle was _sure_ Cartman would continue what he'd been doing. Even before that night, Cartman had spent the whole first week of their lessons sitting really close to Kyle and even _touching_ him. But he spent the week following what happened at the café sitting across the table from Kyle, quietly doing his work. No touching. No awkward suggestive comments.

Kyle had spent the entire weekend convincing himself that his initial reaction was right – that he should trust his intuition. Cartman _was_ trying to imply something that night, and only attempted to cover up for it _after_ he saw Kyle's reaction. By the time their Monday lesson came, Kyle was positive that Cartman really _had_ been hitting on him – not blatantly, but in that subtle get-under-your-skin way that was unique to everything Cartman did.

And he had finally come to terms with that he _might have_, KIND OF… enjoyed it. Just a tiny bit.

It's not that he liked Cartman. He hated him. Really despised him. But something in the way Cartman had been treating him since their tutoring lessons began… it was different than usual. The way he touched his hair the first day. The way he whispered in his ear to make his hypothetical scenarios more effective. The look in his eyes when he was particularly angry. And the look in his eyes when he particularly wasn't.

So maybe Cartman was kind of intriguing in his own way… but Kyle knew he shouldn't have been reacting the way he had been. Because it didn't make sense. And he was really disturbed that he had actually _blushed_ over Cartman_. On more than one occasion_.

"_God what's wrong with me?"_ had been a thought plaguing him for over a week now. And it was only getting worse.

Because now that Cartman apparently _wasn't _trying to get this reaction out of him at all, he was just _more intrigued_. Cartman was barely paying any attention to him now, which suggested to Kyle that perhaps he really _did_ overreact that night. And after convincing himself that there really _was_ something going on, and coming in to a completely disinterested fatass for four lessons in a row… he felt sufficiently stupid. And a little disappointed. And really _pissed off._

What the hell was Cartman playing at? What right did he have to say and do things like that and then act like it was no big deal? Because everyone knows that it's standard practice to assume someone is into a guy if they _repeatedly_ touch them and suggestively lower their voice, God damn it!

It was now Wednesday, and it was Kyle's birthday. It had officially been over week since the café incident and Cartman hadn't so much as brought up New York or anything else relating to Kyle's personal life. He knew he should be relieved that the "lessons" were apparently over. He knew that this was a good thing, because now he could effectively squash any unwarranted… _attraction_ he MIGHT have for… _him_. But at the same time, he wanted answers.

But it didn't seem like he'd be getting any today, because this lesson was going just like the previous few had. They were discussing only school work and Cartman was showing him that he had actually made quite a bit of progress in that area. And it was all Kyle could do not to stop everything and demand an explanation. Because, really, it was the smart thing to do to just ignore everything that had happened and move on. As annoyingly difficult as that was.

...

The wait was driving Eric absolutely fucking insane. The only reason he had any sort of sanity left in him by this point was that he kept reminding himself that these lessons were ultimately bringing Kyle closer to him (in that the higher his grades were, the more likely he'd be accepted into NYU). So he paid attention, kept his mouth shut, did his work, and kept his cool – much like an ADD kid on Ritalin. As a result, Eric saved much of his pent up frustration for when he got home… which reminded him that he needed to go buy more Vaseline after school today. Bottle in a week? New record!

But today? Something was different. Definitely different. As Eric sat opposite from Kyle, he could tell the Jew was fidgeting more often. Even more interesting was the number of times he would look up to see what Kyle was doing only to catch his Jew staring _back_ at him – but of course, he instantly gazed back at his own work with that adorable tint of red stretched across his face. With a proud smile, Eric suddenly got a feeling – a small feeling but definitely there – that Kyle may be a little 'unsure' about how he really felt about their sudden association.

And like the persistent asshole he was, Eric just HAD to stir it up. "I got an A on my science test today." He smugly looked down to his new set of worksheets, casually doodling on the side as he bragged, "My teacher even said that he's never seen such improvement and asked me how I pulled my grades up so high."

Sliding his eyes back over to give Kyle a grin, Eric asked coyly, "Do you wanna know what I said?"

...

"That you miraculously learned everything on your own?" Kyle asked, putting down his book (now _The Crucible_) and glaring up at the brunet. He knew that Cartman would never stoop so low as to actually give him _credit_.

...

"Not quite, but it hurts me that you think I'd be so inconsiderate, Kyle," Eric combated. A slight frown stretched across his face before quickly being replaced by a toying grin. "I told him… that I had the best fucking tutor in the god damned world." He shifted sideways on his chair to rest his legs over the arm.

Once he got comfortable in his seat, he laughed a bit and shook his head. "I didn't quite say it like that, but you get the picture." He glanced over at his redhead, keeping his gaze aimed straight at Kyle's ferocious green orbs as he shifted to sneakily dig through his pocket. After pulling out a pencil, Eric teasingly brought it up to rest the eraser against his lip.

"You know you're good," he lowered his voice lightly, almost sounding like a purr. He then narrowed his eyes. "And damn it, don't you like to shove it in my face with your… flippant teaching style."

He tapped the pencil against his teeth and then clicked it with his tongue to make some of the lead protrude out of the other end. Then he brought it down to his paper to continue his work.

...

"Well…" Kyle said, narrowing his eyes at the brunet. "For your sake, I'm glad we've actually been able to make real progress… now that you've dropped the whole… life lesson thing."

He picked up his book again and opened it to the dog-eared page he left off on. He slumped down a bit in his seat and began to stare determinedly at the words in front of him, not really reading any of them.

...

"But don't you think it's about time we go through another one?" Eric asked, anxiously tapping his pencil against his papers. He began to eye Kyle hungrily as soon as he noticed that his Jew was purposely trying not to look at him. "I mean, you've been so helpful this week… I think it's about time I thank you again."

He slowly moved his legs off the arm of his chair to stand and walk over to where Kyle sat. "Lesson Four – bouncing off ideas."

He walked behind Kyle's chair to look at which page of the Crucible he had out before he began, "You want to trust this partner you're working with, and you generally think that he may have some insightful things to contribute, but you still want a healthy amount of control of the situation… without being too bossy." He didn't want to beat around the bush for too long, so he cut the spiel short, preferring to jump right into it.

"You know what I think about Abigail though?" he asked, leaning on the back of Kyle's chair as he pointed to her name in the book. "I think she's a totally selfish preteen that practically killed a whole village just because she wanted a guy that stuck it in her _once._" He laughed, leaning in closer to Kyle to view the assignment sheet next to the book. "I mean, what are you supposed to analyze here?" He grabbed the sheet off of Kyle's lap – his fingers lightly grazing his Jew's inner thigh before bringing the page up to skim it. "That teenage girls are home-wreckers and that people in Massachusetts are crazy?"

He peered down at Kyle with an amused expression as he dropped the paper. "Fuck the Salem Witch Trials… it pisses me off that a bunch of girls on their periods were able to convince grown men that fucking _people_ were flying and casting curses on each other," he said, cracking a grin. He still lingered on Kyle's chair, daring to inch his hand over to lightly graze the redhead's mess of curls. A shock of electricity bolted down to his crotch as he took in how good it would feel to grab them right now.

...

Kyle turned around to glare at Cartman, taken aback a bit at how close they were – _again_. _Alright, I'll play along_, he thought viciously.

"She loved him. She did what she did out of grief," he snapped, holding up the book. "I feel _bad _for her. Because she's so delusional that she thinks manipulation and dramatics will win him over. Because she's so _sociopathic_ that she'd risk the lives of all of her friends for her own selfish reasons."

He smirked up at Cartman, who was still lingering behind his chair. He knew the fatass hadn't bothered to put much thought into the play. Really, Kyle would be surprised if he'd actually read any of it. "But I guess it's admirable in a way. That she'd risk so much for love. That she'd put herself on the line to prove something. Even if it does end up _backfiring_ on her."

...

Eric immediately brought his hand away from the red curls once Kyle actually looked back at him, surprised as all hell that the Jew was actually going along with his 'lesson'. His eyes lit up upon hearing Kyle's obvious little allusion – he even went so far as to call 'Abigail's' actions _admirable!_ "Oh but you shouldn't feel bad for Abigail!" he grinned, throwing all caution to the wind as he daringly placed his hand on top of Kyle's halo of red curls. "You're right! She did fight _very, very_ hard to get what she wanted."

Leaning in ever so slightly, Eric began to longingly stroke Kyle's hair. "But she obviously didn't want him enough… because if she really, _really _wanted John to herself…"

He finally closed the gap between them by bringing his head down to seductively whisper into Kyle's ear, "_She would have made it happen_." He stayed there by his Jew's ear and teasingly rested the side of his head against Kyle's for just a moment. "She risked… so much, Kyle…" he continued, moving around to the front of the chair to stare deeply into those emerald eyes. "But is it really all that bad to be insanely in love with someone?"

...

Starting to regret opening this door, Kyle looked away from Cartman's piercing gaze.

"I didn't say it was bad. You were the one pissing all over the character, although I remember a few times where _you_ threw this whole town into a panic just to stay out of trouble," he said, shooting Cartman a quick glare before looking away again.

"And, Cartman, she did _try_ to make it happen. She accused his wife of witchcraft so _they_ could get married," he said, looking at the brunet again through half lidded eyes. "But he refused her. Because she was too crazy. Too forceful. If she really, truly wanted him to be happy, she would have waited for him. And if he came to her, then they _both_ could have been happy."

He then lifted his chin to stare confidently into Cartman's eyes. "But she tried to _make_ it happen. And her actions ended up getting him killed. Coveting someone… the way she did, against their will and with no real honesty, will always backfire."

...

Eric couldn't think. Eric couldn't even move. His confident nature quickly dissipated into a fearful and unsure mess of worry and his face resembled a scared little boy, rather than a grown, forceful brute. What Kyle was saying to him through those mischievous eyes of his, playing his own little game… Eric didn't know **what **to do. It was so easy to be the one dishing it out, but once the tables were turned… all Eric felt like doing was freaking curling up in a corner to suck his thumb.

Especially since Kyle was essentially telling him what he wanted him to do… but Eric couldn't wait, he **couldn't**! What, with the way Kyle was staring at him now! The fucking tease! Eric had been waiting for Kyle to look at him that way for… freaking practically all his life!

All his life… so he could **not **let this backfire.

He felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach and a chill run up his spine as he understood what needed to happen and frowned in disappointment.

"You're right. They weren't honest with each other," he replied in a slow drawl, looking down to the book to hide his hurt expression. "She wouldn't let John make his own decisions about their… whatever their relationship was, and it eventually led to both their downfalls."

He exhaled a long breath, looking back up as he reached to grip Kyle's arm. "I guess for your report then, maybe you should say that real love waits, and is understanding and patient – that it allows change and expression, and should never be forced." He smiled to cover up his immense grief. Realizing what this meant, he moved away from his Jew's chair to collect his things. "Kyle, you've done so much for me already… and I know you probably have better things to do…"

"So… maybe I can take care of this on my own, and you can go back to Stan and your friends," Eric said, slowly reaching down to bag some of his papers and books as he furrowed his face in sorrow. "I'll get into some college…"

He felt a hard, cold wave of helplessness envelope him as he continued, "It might not be the one that I want to get into…" He turned back around with a false-smile, having finished packing his things. "But I don't want you to feel like you're obligated to help me any longer."

...

What?

"Wait, what are you doing?" Kyle asked, standing up. "That was just one of your dumb lessons! Bouncing ideas off someone, right? While trying not to be too bossy?"

He smirked. "Well I guess I must have failed at the bossy thing then, because you're just accepting what I had to say. Never thought _you'd_ back down over something as silly as a _literary discussion_."

"So defend your position, Cartman," he said lowly from where he stood, one eyebrow cocked in a challenge. "What if John was oblivious? Would it really have benefited Abigail to wait, to never make her move, if he had no idea how she felt? What if they just went their separate ways and never spoke again? Even if it did backfire on her in the end, they had their time together. So go ahead. Tell me why it's ok to just take what you want."

...

Stopping immediately after hearing Kyle's rant, Eric felt a flame ignite in his heart once more as he peered over to his determined looking Jew. He was standing there challenging Eric… but also looked somewhat lost. The brunet knew that Kyle probably didn't know _what_ was going through his mind right now. Lord knows Eric didn't.

But something told Eric that he was the only person who could give Kyle that relief.

Approaching Kyle as if he were a scared kitten, Eric relaxed considerably to make himself seem less intimidating. "I think… John needed to collect his thoughts… to really figure out why he agreed to be with Abigail in the first place."

Stopping directly in front of his Jew, with only a couple inches between them, Eric kept his persistent gaze as he shrugged. "I mean, it looked like he had a pretty happy life back home." He smiled curiously as he began to feel life spring back into him. "What interested him about Abigail? What did she do to gain his affection?" He perked a brow at that question, suddenly bringing a hand out to pat Kyle's head as he soothed, "I think that if Abigail knew why John decided to, you know, go along with the whole thing, that maybe she would have been more honest with him."

He then boldly slid his hand down to cup his precious Jew's face to gaze longingly into his eyes. "Because Abigail was obviously in love with him, and would have never truly wanted it to end as it did."

...

Kyle's eyes widened as Cartman touched his face. This wasn't a game anymore. What had started out a series of clever allusions turned into… God, Kyle didn't even know _what_ this was.

"Yeah," he said, backing away from the larger boy. "Thanks. I, uh, think I can… better bounce ideas off… now. Should work out well in college."

He quickly began to pack up his things. "If you really think you should do this on your own, then go right ahead," he said as apathetically as he could despite his nervousness. "It doesn't matter to me."

...

"Oh, now look who's the one backing down from a silly literary discussion," Eric teased, reaching out to prevent Kyle from escaping. He brought his Jew into his hold, their bodies actually _touching _as he called down softly, "Answer the question Kyle, What did Abigail do to get John to go along with it?"

He continued to hold onto Kyle as he shook his head in amusement. "John could have said no, but he didn't!" he pointed out, feeling his body temperature rise as he lowered his head down so that his forehead was practically touching Kyle's. "Was it out of interest? Or was it because he could really tell that there was something more to her than her silly little mind games?"

...

"Stop it, Cartman," Kyle said, trying to remove himself from the other boy's grasp. He was feeling lightheaded and began to freak out again. Playing along was a terrible, _terrible _idea. Just as it always had been. "This isn't funny. Let me go."

...

"Kyle, look at me," Eric ordered sincerely, delicately taking his Jew's cheek into his hand to make Kyle look back into his eyes. He wanted to convey that this was no joke anymore, that this was real and the need for allusions was now unnecessary. "What did I do for you to go along with this?"

He suddenly smiled, not able to hide the want in his eyes as he continued, "Was it out of interest? Or was it because you could really tell that there was something more to me than my silly little mind games?"

...

"I…" Kyle said, pausing for a second to search Cartman's eyes. There was something unmistakably foreign in them. Kyle had never seen this side of him before, and it scared the shit out him. He much preferred the dark, slightly dangerous look and the tone of voice that went with it, because he was used to that. This… he wasn't sure what it was, but it was markedly more unsettling.

He let out a steady breath and closed his eyes to collect himself. He had to put a stop to this weirdness. He just had to. For his own sake. He reached up and grabbed Cartman's forearm, drawing the boy's hand away from his cheek. When he looked up again, he had hardened his expression.

"I felt bad for you. That's it. I knew you couldn't do it on your own, and I pitied you," he said flatly. "I thought maybe, if you got into college, you would go out west. Or to Europe. And you would be as far away from me as is possible."

...

"Now look who's not being honest," Eric retorted, looking at Kyle's hand, which was firmly grasped onto his arm. "Me going off to a far away college… that may have been a nice result of your helping me get better grades..."

He then peered back to Kyle's defiant eyes as he pried, "But that wasn't why you agreed to _come back_." His eyes opened wider, his stare more maniacal as he pulled his arm from Kyle's grasp. "You seemed so adamant when you said you didn't want to do these tutoring lessons – after you came to the conclusion that I was hitting on you that night at the café – but why?" He took a step closer to Kyle, his eyes still staring into the smaller boy with their dark but magnetic quality. "What scared you? What caused you to feel so much disgust that you ran out of that restaurant faster than you've ever run before?"

As he looked down at Kyle, at those emerald eyes pleading with him, _begging _him to give him the peace of mind that he wasn't even aware he wanted, Eric's arousal nearly hit its peak. Not able to control himself, Eric snuck his hand to Kyle's side to coax him closer as his eyes clouded over with lust. "You see, Kyle… I've noticed a difference in you… a very small but enticing difference that I think you're not telling me."

He shook his head, cracking a much more sinister grin before continuing, "So why don't you tell me…" He gripped onto Kyle's side. "What's really going on?"

...

A fire spread through Kyle's body, beginning where Cartman's hand was placed on his hip and radiating through the rest of him. But he tried to ignore it; he just _had_ to ignore it. He looked up into the other boy's eyes, which were dark and clouded over and… _God_ why was it getting so hard to breathe?

He should have let things be. He shouldn't have brought up the lessons and he should have just accepted that things were relatively back to normal. They could have gone on doing schoolwork, and he would have been _fine_ with that. But no, he just _had_ to need attention and answers and now he was _really_ starting to panic. Sometimes it was best to just keep your mouth shut and let things go. But he was never good at doing either of those things. And now he was in a seriously fucked up situation, on his fucking birthday no less.

In his panic, he roughly pushed Cartman off of him and walked around the table, watching the other boy for any sudden movements. "Stay away from me. I shouldn't have come back," he snapped. "And I won't this time."

Still watching Cartman, he grabbed his bag and made his way out of their nook. When the brunet was out of his line of sight, he broke into a brisk walk, hoping – mostly – that Cartman wouldn't come after him.

...

So… Eric fucked up.

Seeing Kyle storm away from him when he was so close, _so close_, caused him much turmoil as he hastily kicked one of the large sofa chairs over in his frustration. Cursing at himself for not taking his own advice and just leaving Kyle on a good note.

But no.

That pesky Jew had to stop him; he had to give him an inkling of hope that he may have started to feel the same way. But of course that was all in vain, and when Eric tried to be honest with Kyle, the Jew couldn't be honest back.

Eric knew. He just KNEW something was different. The way Kyle gave him that look when he was talking about Abigail's actions, or the way he lingered whenever he touched him – Eric knew that this wasn't incidental. He just didn't know why, WHY Kyle was so reluctant to give him a straight answer.

It felt so good to have Kyle play back like that. It made him feel… complete, like… Kyle's little response was the Polo to his Marco. Eric's been yelling Marco all this time, and Kyle finally called back Polo for the first time in his life.

Yet Eric knew now that if he was to yell Marco, that Polo would probably never come again.

He was such a fuck up. He could never stop himself. EVER. Even when he had him _right there,_ he had to stretch it even more and… God, why was he surprised when Kyle snapped? He should have seen it coming. But no… he didn't. So that was why Eric went home that night and just pondered over his failure while munching on practically everything in the refrigerator. He was so pathetic; he was a lost cause and nothing more. He didn't know what was good for himself, and he had a feeling that he would be better off just trying to do this alone from now on.

Maybe then when he got into NYU, he and Kyle could start over again from square one.

But even that seemed ridiculous – and as he lay in bed with "Stirbt nicht vor mir" playing on his computer, Eric tearfully looked over to the monitor and began to think… that maybe it was time to let go.

Yet as soon as that thought raced across his mind, Eric felt like his heart stopped – like it had just completely given out. He felt like he was dying, _literally_. As though he could not last if he honestly believed that Kyle would not be in his life any longer. He needed to come up with a plan – his life relied on it. It wasn't a matter of choosing to leave Kyle; that separation just could not happen if he wanted to keep living.

That moment was when he got the determination necessary to actually continue going to the library, to actually educate _himself_ in order to get his grades up. He could still make it to NYU; he knew he could, he knew he _would_. It was a matter of life or death.

So the next day, Eric picked out a nice spot in the center of the Library, far away from their normal corner. He had several books with him, and even a couple of the worksheets Kyle gave him yesterday. He would have to correct them on his own now, but there was nothing he could do about that. Therefore, with a burdened expression, Eric picked up the worksheets he had already completed and started the painstaking process of self-reviewing them.

…

**A/N:** So dramatic. lol. Feedback is love!


	6. June 4th

**A/N:** We seriously love the feedback we're getting on this! It makes both of us extremely happy to see people enjoying this thing we've worked so hard on. Thank you all! :D

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Six – Friday, June 4th

Cartman was at the library. _Again_.

Every day in the week plus since Kyle had basically told him to fuck off, Cartman had _still_ been coming to the library. He never spoke to Kyle, and he stayed well away from the back nook, but he was still _there_. And it was pissing Kyle the hell off! He told Cartman to leave him alone. The library was _his_ place. He knew it was selfish and ludicrous to think such things, but couldn't the fatass find someplace else to study?

Though he had to admit… he liked that Cartman was apparently serious enough about raising his GPA to actually continue his studying without Kyle's help. Perhaps that was all this ever was – tutoring, and just tutoring. And now Cartman was tutoring himself, because there really was no ulterior motive.

But no. He couldn't forget what they'd gone through, and he certainly couldn't forget their last lesson together. Cartman had put his hand on his hip… pulled him closer. Looked at him in that _way_. That was _not_ just tutoring.

And as much as he wanted desperately to forget about all of that, he just _couldn't_ with Cartman sitting around in the library every fucking day. He was always there by the time Kyle arrived right after school and he was _still _there every time Kyle left to meet up with Stan. Cartman was diligent if nothing else. Kyle just hated having to walk by him all the time, because the fatass, of course, _had_ to sit right out in the open.

Kyle was fairly confident that Cartman was only coming to the library to piss him off. That asshole could have _easily_ continued his studying at home or in another room at the school. Easily. But he just wanted to taunt Kyle. And the redhead really wanted to ask him why he was doing this, or, at the very least, tell him to fuck off.

But he couldn't. Because he had told Cartman that he was done with everything. He stormed off. Kyle would only be giving in to him if he was the first one to talk, even if it was only to ask him to leave. He couldn't give Cartman the satisfaction of getting under his skin enough to break his vow of silence, so he tried really hard to ignore the kid. And he tried _really_ hard to forget that the tutoring thing ever happened. And he tried _really, really_ hard not to think about Cartman when he was alone in his room at night.

Though… he couldn't help but want that asshole to talk to him again. He kind of, sort of, a little bit wished that Cartman had run after him that day. Grabbed him and forced him to stop running. Pushed him up against one of the bookcases and…. No. _No_, he couldn't think like that. It wasn't right. This was Cartman, after all. Cartman, _of all people_. Cartman, who had dedicated years of his life to torturing and humiliating Kyle. Cartman, who had used the Dark Lord Cthulhu to tear down entire synagogues. Cartman, who intentionally gave him AIDs and tried to force him to suck his God damn _balls_. Cartman, who made Kyle legitimately hate himself after years of belittlement.

How the hell could he even _begin_ to explain why he wanted that… that PLAGUE to _touch_ him?

It wasn't fair. Whatever game God was playing by making him think these thoughts about Eric fucking Cartman… it really wasn't fair. But then, nothing was _ever_ fair when it came to him and Cartman. Because no matter how hard he tried, Cartman always won. If Kyle was doing the moral, humane thing, Cartman still beat him. If Kyle was right, Cartman still came out on top. If Cartman won a million dollars, Kyle succumbed to life-threatening medical problems. _It was never fair._

Yes, Kyle was always the loser. He was always the one who gave in. Which is why, on day nine of not speaking to each other, he finally stormed over to Cartman's table.

"What the hell is your problem?" he demanded, glaring at the brunet who had, until that moment, been minding his own business.

...

With his head still buried in his book, Eric didn't see Kyle approaching him at all – didn't even hear the loud and obviously bothered footsteps coming toward him.

But what he did hear was Kyle's telltale bratty voice yelling down at him despite the rest of the library being very, very quiet. With his book still blocking Kyle from view, Eric grinned and peered upwards to the ceiling to mouth his thanks.

Slamming his book shut, Eric shot Kyle a non-phased look. "Well Kyle," he answered, looking to his books and then back up at the furious redhead. "It seems like I'm studying for my Biology test."

...

Kyle narrowed his eyes and put his palms on the table, leaning forward. He wasn't going to buy Cartman's innocent act today.

"Yeah, that's what it _seems like_," he spat. "But why are you _here_? I thought I made it pretty clear that I want nothing to do with you. _So go home_."

...

Eric couldn't help but laugh, bringing up a hand to soothe his wrinkling forehead. "Kyle," he managed to puff out between laughs, eying the fuming Jew. "This is a public library open to _all students_." He started to shake his head, looking away from Kyle as he flipped his textbook back open. "You come in here asking what my problem is but it's obvious that _you're_ the one with the problem."

...

"No, you are!" Kyle said immaturely. "I'm sick of seeing your fat fucking face around here, so leave me alone!"

...

Definitely irritated after that 'fat fucking face' bit, Eric slammed his book shut as he shot Kyle a glare. "Look, Jew, I haven't so much as given you a passing glance this week and you're the one telling _me _to get the fuck out? You're crazy."

He got out of his chair to gather his things, adding cautiously, "There's obviously something bothering you, but apparently you don't know how to approach it properly."

As he headed toward their usual corner, Eric kept his focus ahead and called back, "Come talk to me when you can discuss things like an adult."

...

Kyle glared after Cartman for what felt like an hour, but was really only a few minutes. On one hand, he knew that, yeah, he was being a dick. It was incredibly immature and unreasonable for him to demand that Cartman leave a public setting. On the other hand… it was _Cartman_. And that alone was enough to justify it, right?

Finally, he rolled his eyes in defeat and followed the other boy to their nook. When he got there, he found Cartman sitting at their table looking at him. Kyle wanted to punch him in his fucking face. He threw his bag down and sat across from the larger boy, folding his hands in front of him in preparation for this _adult discussion_ as he set his face in a defiant glare. "Ok, fine, what do you want to talk about?"

...

"No Kyle, this isn't about me, don't you get it?" Eric scowled as he leaned into the table. "_You're _the one who came to _me!" _he snapped, his eyes filling with rage as he angrily leaned back in his chair.

"What do **you **want to talk about?" he asked, not saying anything more as he impatiently glared at Kyle.

...

"I want to talk about…" Kyle said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Why you're hanging out in the library trying to piss me off."

...

Grinding his teeth, Eric let out a loud growl. "For God's sake, Kyle, no you DON'T!" he yelled, slamming his hand against the table. He exhaled raggedly, trying to force himself to calm down. Leaning back into his chair, Eric brought a hand to his forehead to stroke it broodingly.

"I know… why you approached me. I know," he spoke in a low voice, peering under his hand to shoot Kyle an irritated look. "There was no _real_ reason why you needed to approach me today. I've been leaving you alone and giving you SUFFICIENT space, despite what you may _believe_ to be 'sufficient'." He stroked his cheekbone as he pondered. "The only reason I can think of… as to why you called me out like you did just now… is because I… have sufficiently 'confused'you."

...

"You haven't _confused_ me," Kyle lied, crossing his arms. "You've irritated me. You've been plaguing me for almost my entire life, and I gave you a chance with this tutoring thing. Then you used it as a way to freak me out and humiliate me. So can you fucking blame me for not wanting to see your face around here?"

He slumped down a bit in his chair and glared harshly at Cartman. "You know I come here after school to study. I know _you're_ just coming here to annoy me. So just _stop. _I really don't think that's too much to ask."

...

"I will tell you right now that the number one and _only_ reason I come to the library after school is to improve my grades to get into the college I want to get into," Eric shot down Kyle's accusation quite boldly, keeping his gaze on the Jew as he narrowed his eyes. "And if you were irritated with me then you would have obviously just continued to ignore me!" He brought his hands up in a frustrated gesture. "It's what you've done for the past what? Five years? Since we stopped hanging out in the same group?"

He glared at Kyle, not understanding why he was being so stubborn. "And I don't know why the tutoring thing 'humiliated' you… if anything it should have stroked that hard ass ego of yours." Eric exhaled, looking toward the window. "Unless this humiliation was self imposed, which would bring me back to my 'confused' theory." He narrowed his eyes again and looked back to Kyle. "What are you confused about? What do you want me to answer for you?"

...

"GOD DAMN IT, I DON'T KNOW!" Kyle cried, standing up. Reminding himself that they were in a library, he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down. He gripped the table and bowed his head. _Come on, Kyle. Get a hold of yourself._

...

Eric was taken aback by Kyle's exclamation, jolting back in his chair as he watched Kyle stand up. He… looked so disturbed. So confused, to the point where Eric was pretty sure Kyle didn't even trust his own thoughts.

Well… if Kyle couldn't trust his own thoughts, maybe he'd trust _his._

"Kyle," Eric called out calmly. "Do you _want _to know why you're confused?"

...

"Yes, Cartman," Kyle seethed sarcastically, lifting his head to glare at the boy. "Go right ahead. Why don't _you_ tell _me_ what _I'm_ feeling. Do it."

He didn't even know what he was doing. He couldn't stop himself from spewing out these cutting responses, but he wished he could, because the truth was that Kyle absolute did _not_ want to know what Cartman thought – he was scared shitless of what he would say.

...

Feeling a sense of tranquility surround him, Eric got out of his chair. He looked at Kyle's terribly shaken state and a wave of pity suddenly overtook him. _The poor thing, he doesn't know what's about to hit him._

But then again, everything had already been changed, and despite the fact that Kyle had claimed that he would never return to him a couple times during this thing – here he was! By his own accord, even! So Eric knew that this would do more good than bad – and ultimately Kyle would get the answer that Eric believed his Jew's heart kept asking for, but that his logical brain couldn't give.

"Kyle," Eric said, now only slightly invading Kyle's space as the redhead glared defiantly up at him. "The reason that you are confused…" The urgency of the situation was catching up to him fast – he actually could hear a ticking clock start to count off in his head. "Is because…" He took a deep breath, gently lowering his face toward Kyle's to stare intently into those bewildered orbs. "You do not know how you would feel… after I do this."

Taking one last breath, Eric shut his eyes tightly and closed the space in between his and Kyle's lips in a sudden burst of passion.

...

The moment Cartman's lips touched his, Kyle felt his heart skip a beat and a surge of electricity run through him. He leaned into the other boy, slowly bringing his hands up to rest against Cartman's chest. His head was clouded and he couldn't think straight, but as he responded to the kiss he slowly began to realize what was happening. Cartman was kissing him. _And he was kissing back_.

_Oh my God_, he thought desperately once the realization hit him. Breaking the kiss, he pushed Cartman away from him, though not roughly.

"Oh… oh my God," he breathed, eyes widened with shock. "Oh my _God_."

Taking another step away from Cartman and bumping against his chair, Kyle slowly shook his head and stared into the larger boy's mahogany eyes. "…What are you… why…?"

...

The kiss had lasted longer than Eric _ever_ expected it to and his mind was clouded over in disbelief and euphoria, almost positive that it had to be a dream. It wasn't until he felt Kyle's hands push him back suddenly, breaking their brief moment of connection, that Eric actually realized that this was, in fact, _real._

Then, after hearing Kyle's bewildered stammering, he cried out joyfully, "Because!" A tuft of his hair fell lightly onto his face as he laughed. "You couldn't figure it out on your own!" He shook his head, his breathing continuing in hearty intervals.

Keeping his enamored stare focused ahead, Eric continued to explain, "I gave you the clue to your problem." His smile brightened even more as he perked his brows. "Now all you have to do is find your solution."

...

"I don't," Kyle spluttered, bracing himself against his chair. "I don't understand."

...

Eric reached out to delicately grasp onto one of his Jew's shoulders. "Kyle," he spoke calmly, slowly bringing his other hand up to lift his beloved's face so he could speak directly into those confused, hysterical eyes. "I want you tell me what your heart is telling you," he begged, his eyebrows furrowing slightly. "_Not your __**brain**_." Resting his forehead against Kyle's, he reiterated, "But your _heart_."

...

"I can't," Kyle whispered, lowering his eyelids, his body stiffening against Cartman's. He couldn't keep looking into those eyes. He just couldn't handle it. _This… _whatever it was.

...

"Kyle, for heaven's sake look at me," Eric insisted. "Don't think about what just happened, don't think about this situation, don't think about our past," he listed, nudging Kyle's head with his own. "Just stare me in the eyes." He paused, his heart wildly beating against his chest as he breathed, "And tell me what your heart is telling you."

...

"No," Kyle breathed, gently removing Cartman's hands from him. "No."

He crossed the small area, putting as much distance as he could between him and the brunet without actually leaving. His heart was beating rapidly and he felt like his lungs weren't working correctly. _This can't be happening right now._

"You… I don't know what you're trying to do here," he said, voice shaking. "But it's bullshit. And you need to stop. Because it isn't funny."

...

"You think this is bullshit?" Eric quickly responded. "You think I'm doing this for laughs?" He meagerly approached the retreating redhead until there was nothing but the window behind them.

Once Kyle finally bumped against the windowsill, Eric placed both of his hands on either side of his redhead, essentially trapping the boy between himself and the glass. The bright afternoon sun highlighted the mahogany color in Eric's eyes. "You told me you wanted to know why you were confused, and your heart has the answer – _I know it_." He put more weight on that last bit as he looked into Kyle's eyes once more, taking in his beloved's crazed but beautiful emerald glow as he asked, "And do you know why I know?" He kept eye contact, trying to absorb the fear masking Kyle's true emotions through this odd transaction their stares were creating. "Because your eyes are telling me the answer _right now."_

...

"What are they saying?" Kyle whispered so quietly he could barely hear himself over his pounding heart.

He pressed himself against the window sill, trying to remove himself from Cartman's presence in vain. He honestly wasn't sure he'd ever been more afraid in his life, though he could tell Cartman wasn't trying to be threatening.

...

Feeling his heart flutter ever so gracefully, Eric allowed Kyle a little more room by keeping his arms in place but standing up straight. He moved his head just above Kyle's, his lips grazing his Jew's forehead as he soulfully closed his eyes before answering in a low but warm whisper, "_T__hat you've been wrong about me_."

...

Kyle inhaled sharply at Cartman's words, as they conveyed exactly the confusing thought plaguing him since they had gone to the café.

He lifted his chin to look up at the larger boy, their lips once again _so_ close as he looked into those seemingly omniscient eyes. Cartman could see right through him, and it had always been that way – it was one of the reasons he hated him so much and… maybe why he couldn't stay away.

"I don't want to feel that way," he breathed.

...

"And why not, Kyle?" Eric asked in the same soft whisper, his gaze so desperately trying to eliminate his beloved's fear as they locked eyes once more. "Because you can't trust me? Because you're still unsure?" He suddenly bent down so that his lips grazed Kyle's.

"Why don't you tell me how you _really_ feel? Because your eyes won't lie to me…" he spoke against the redhead's quivering mouth, causing their lips to brush each other's once more.

...

"I can't trust you," Kyle whispered against Cartman's mouth, his eyes closed. "And it scares me… that I can want this. Even though I hate you." And then he leaned forward just a bit, pressing his lips gingerly against the brunet's.

...

With his heart uncharacteristically melting, Eric carefully took Kyle's lips into his own, starting their first _real_ kiss with as much gentility as he could muster. He pressed small but meaningful pecks against Kyle's hesitant lips, trying to signal to him that this didn't have to be intrusive – that it could actually be incredibly sensual if they wanted it to be.

...

With his brain _screaming_ at him that this couldn't be happening, that this _can't_ happen, and that he was making the biggest mistake of his life, Kyle allowed his lips to part. Hesitantly bringing his hands up to Cartman's shoulders, he gently pulled him in.

...

As soon the redhead's lips ever so slowly opened up, granting him permission to carry this further, Eric let go of all his restraint and boldly darted his tongue into his Jew's warm mouth. Kyle beckoned him to come closer, with his arms so gracefully wrapping around Eric's shoulders, and he could feel his Jew's tongue _so delicately_ wrap around his own.

Eric carried his hands up to _**finally**_ weave through Kyle's halo of red curls. _Dear Lord. _The sensation of Kyle's tongue exploring his more-than-welcoming mouth combined with the euphoric feeling of those red, fucking amazing locks caused Eric to moan intently and he dared to bring his waist just a tad closer to Kyle's.

...

_What the hell are you doing?_ Kyle's brain screamed at him, sounding an awful lot like his best friend. He knew this was horribly, horribly wrong, but _God_ why did it feel so good? With Cartman pressed against him, moaning and driving him back against the window, he felt a surge of heat go through his body. He let the other boy deepen their kiss as he moved one of his hands to Cartman's neck, thumb grazing his jaw line.

He tried to tell himself that this was ok – that his lifelong enemy was holding his head in place and kissing him with more meaning than he could have ever expected. And it felt ok. More than ok. But it really _couldn't_ be.

But part of what was driving him was that it also felt so _wrong_. For some insane reason that was completely foreign to him, it actually felt _good_ to go against his better judgment for once in his life. And so, moaning into his eternal sparring partner's mouth, he grabbed Cartman's shirt collar and roughly pulled him forward, deepening the kiss further.

...

Eric's eyes shot wide open once he felt Kyle so ravenously delve into his mouth, his heightening libido suddenly going from controlled and maintainable to unpredictable and _absolutely_ insatiable.

Inserting his tongue deeper into Kyle's mouth, Eric's nerves started to spark with unbridled need and his brow furrowed. He slid his hands down Kyle's sides to actually _lift_ the feisty redhead onto the windowsill, beginning to nip at his bottom lip. Then he started to ever so slightly buck into the other boy's elevated hips, letting out small animalistic grunts every time he dared to thrust forward.

...

Kyle gasped into Cartman's mouth as he was lifted onto the window sill – he certainly wasn't expecting this to be taken to another level so quickly. He mind was completely clouded and he could no longer think straight, his brain's protests quickly becoming lost in the haze.

As the larger boy began to move, Kyle could feel an unmistakable hardness pressing into him. He moaned audibly against the other boy's lips and moved his hands to clutch at his broad shoulders. The feeling of Cartman's hands on his waist coupled with the subtle grinding was driving him crazy – the thoughts he'd tried so hard to avoid having had become a reality, and suddenly he began to wonder if maybe this _wasn't_ such a bad idea.

Because, as they say, something that feels so good can't possibly be bad… right?

...

_Oh my God this just… this just can't be fucking real, _Eric thought to himself as he proceeded to, oh fuck, actually _ride his erection_ into fucking _Kyle's _crotch. So what if they were clothed? This was more than Eric thought he would have ever gotten away with even _with _Kyle's apparent consent.

_Oh God_. Eric opened his eyes and pulled back when he heard Kyle moan. Seeing how flustered and positively turned on his dazed redhead was at this point, Eric realized with a crazed grin that this wasn't just consent – this was actual _want_.

Breathing deeply, Eric quickly brought his face down to Kyle's neck. He let out a muted but elated chuckle as he licked a long, warm, wet streak up his Jew's throat before devilishly clamping onto it, intensifying his grinding by eagerly pulling Kyle's hips against him in time with his quickening bucks.

...

Kyle threw his head back against the thick glass of the window and groaned as Cartman began sucking on his neck. The larger boy hungrily pulled at him, essentially beginning to hump him through their clothes and _oh God he's so hard. _

But his thoughts finally caught up with him through his aroused haze and he realized where they were and what they were _doing._ Fuck. _Anyone_ could walk in on them.

"Wait," he gasped out, pushing on Cartman's shoulders. "_Wait!_"

When the brunet finally released his neck and allowed himself to be pushed back, Kyle looked into his eyes, blushing fiercely. "We can't… do this. Here. Or… _at all._ But especially here," he said, not sure if he was making any sense. He pushed Cartman further away as he hopped off the window sill, desperately trying to will away his erection.

...

"R…right…" Eric spoke through his haze, the gravity of the situation suddenly weighing on him as he eyed Kyle as though he was another person entirely, and of course noticing the Jew's obvious erection through his tight ass jeans.

Smirking at his handiwork, Eric closed his eyes and sensually carried a hand up to fix his brown parted hair. "See what you do to me?"

Opening his eyes to look at his Jew, he tried to signal with his amorous gaze just how much he not only enjoyed what they just did, but really _desperately_ needed it.

...

Kyle's eyes travelled to his counterpart's crotch before flicking back up to his face. He smirked lightly before saying, "I suppose I do."

If it were possible for him to blush any more, he would have. _This is insane_, he thought, his brain beginning to work again. _But I can still come back from this… brush this off as meaningless and move on. _

"Cartman," he said firmly, looking into the other boy's eyes. "This doesn't mean anything. I'm not saying it can't happen. Because I… well, I'm in no position to say that it won't. But it doesn't mean anything."

...

Eric wasn't surprised by Kyle's reluctance. If anything, he was amused by it. It was adorable, the way Kyle was trying to sweep this whole thing under the rug as though he could forget about it.

"_Nun denn_…" he growled back, keeping his stare directly aimed at Kyle's defiant but still slightly hazed emerald orbs. "Where do we go from here?" He perked a brow, knowing for sure that this wasn't going to be the last of their little encounters. "Would you mind if I took you someplace else for our next… lesson?" he alluded, hoping that the euphemism was mutually understood.

...

Kyle bit his lip. This was a really big deal. Yes, he wanted this… whatever it was to have no emotional meaning. However, clearly something had changed between them and now he had to decide whether he should continue down this path.

"Where?" he asked skeptically.

...

"Well," Eric started to think, crossing his arms as an idea popped into his head. "Where have you always wanted to go in Colorado but never had the chance to go?"

...

Kyle rolled his eyes. "No. You're not taking me on another weird date thing."

...

Eric shrugged. "Fine then," he puffed, narrowing his eyes. "Then what about Starks?"

...

"Fuck no, people we _know_ go there," Kyle scoffed.

...

"Fine you fucking Jew Princess!" Eric lifted up his arms in exasperation and let one of them fall back down, the other staying to rub his temple. "Then what about my house?"

...

Kyle only shrugged and picked up his book bag. "We'll figure something out."

As he slung his book bag over his shoulder, he looked back at Cartman once more. "Just because I let that happen doesn't mean I don't still hate you," he clarified.

...

Ambling over to his seat to humbly pick up his own things, Eric cracked a devious smile and started to laugh to himself. "If I may venture a guess," he started to reply, meeting Kyle's glare with his own dark but good-natured brown orbs. "I think you may even 'hate' me more now." He was being slightly sarcastic, but there was definite understanding there as well.

...

"Maybe," Kyle agreed.

He watched Cartman pack up his things for only a moment before turning to leave the library. Fuming about that asshole's arrogance, he headed out into the hallway. As he mulled over what just happened, he realized that he _really_ needed to make a quick bathroom stop before he met up with Stan… for obvious reasons.

…

**A/N:** Is everyone happy now? Finally some action! :P Feedback is loved as always!


	7. June 5th

**A/N:** Thanks again to everyone for all the awesome reviews! :D

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Seven – Saturday, June 5th

_First the grinding session, and now this?_ Eric asked himself as he finished preparing two glasses of water. One for himself... and one for Kyle.

He put on a satisfied smirk as he thought about how crazy it was that Kyle was actually over _his_ house. On a Saturday even! This wasn't school time, or even time Kyle had to waste while he waited for Stan; this was _free_ time, and his little Jew actually wanted to spend it with _him_!

_God this doesn't make sense! How in the world did that fucking happen yesterday!_ But he didn't really want to think about why or how, he was just happy that it happened. _Though_, he mused as he gripped onto one of the glasses. _Kyle never really gave me a straight answer about why he allowed yesterday to happen in the first place_.

After picking up the second glass, he wordlessly carried them to television area and placed them on the coffee table. He then proceeded to lounge on one side of the couch with Kyle already on the other end, looking quite comfortable as he took notes from a history textbook. To keep himself occupied, Eric had a fair amount of math problems to do. His redhead, despite how exhausted he looked when he showed up this afternoon, had handed Eric the fresh batch of questions when he greeted him at the door.

But despite how relaxed he seemed, Kyle hadn't said much to him so far. They just stuck to their own assignments, sitting in peace but still reserved.

So to break the ice somewhat, Eric spoke up in a non-phased manner, "You looked pretty tired this afternoon when you walked in… rough night?" He perked a brow in interest, wondering if Kyle had the same laborious night he and his right hand did after what happened yesterday.

...

Kyle looked up from his history textbook to meet Cartman's eyes. It was incredibly difficult for him to even look at the guy without thinking about what had happened the previous day, but he had to focus. He was here on business, after all. Yesterday was a fluke and he was going to do what he could to avoid letting it happen again.

"Oh, I had SATs this morning," he said tiredly. "Had to get up at 7:30 and the test bitch didn't even start 'til quarter of nine. I wish I'd have known – me, Stan, and Wendy could have gotten breakfast or something during that time. It was such bullshit."

...

"Hmm…" Eric replied, filling in an answer on his worksheet. "How did you think you did?"

...

Kyle shrugged and flushed a bit. "I dunno, fine I guess," he said. "Wendy wouldn't shut up on the way home. She thinks she'll get like, a perfect score."

He rolled his eyes. "I kind of hope I do better than her, just to see the look on her face," he said, laughing a bit. "I mean, I love her and all… but, the girl needs to calm down."

Then he suddenly remembered that Cartman was in his class. "Wait, why didn't _you_ take them today?" he asked, frowning.

...

Eric stopped working on his worksheet when he realized that he came up with this plan way after the deadline for the SAT sign ups.

Knowing he couldn't reveal that this was a last minute decision, Eric sharply inhaled before replying, "Oh, um, I'm doing them in the fall… a bit late, I know, but I'll send the results to the school as soon as I get them. No biggie."

He shrugged it off, not knowing if that was even doable. "Anyway, what do you have planned besides homework today?" he changed the subject, smirking. He saw this as a good opportunity to slide his foot over towards Kyle's leg, rubbing it slightly. "Care for another _lesson_?"

...

"No, Cartman," Kyle chided, pulling his legs up closer to his chest. "I have a test on Monday that I haven't studied enough for. It's an essay exam so I really need to know this shit. Just do your work."

...

With his foot now cold from having nothing to rub against, Eric grumpily grabbed a blanket to throw over himself. "Fine, be a _prude_… even though I now know you _aren't_." He gave Kyle one of his signature smirks before going back to his homework. "What's the test on?" he asked, noticing Kyle's somewhat aggravated expression. "It looks like you're having a really hard time on it."

...

Kyle felt himself grow red from anger. Cartmandid _not_ just accuse himof having a hard time on something academic. Kyle didn't have a 'hard time' with school. He had a fucking 3.87 GPA for God's sake. It was just hard to study with Cartman fucking trying to play _footsie_ with him.

"It's nothing," he mumbled, furrowing his brow. The truth was that his honors history class had reached the World War II unit, as it was the final few weeks of the school year. He had a feeling the test would be on how the war affected Germany as a country, since his teacher had been dropping hints for over a week. And honestly, he couldn't give a flying fuck about how the war affected Germany, because, dude, they were the _bad guys_. So it wasn't that he was having a hard time _learning_ the subject matter; he was just having a hard time _giving a shit_ about it.

...

Eric wouldn't take that as an answer, so with surprising speed he sat up to take a quick peek at the book his Jew was holding. The page he had open was on, much to Eric's pleasure, the history of _World War II_.

"Tsk tsk…" Eric clicked his tongue, still looming over his Jew. "So _that's_ why you're being so reclusive." He shot Kyle a teasing smirk. "Embarrassed that you probably don't know as much as me?"

...

"No," Kyle retorted defensively. Embarrassed that he didn't know as much? _REALLY?_ Did Cartman really not know that this was _more_ _than_ a touchy subject for them? "I just want to concentrate."

He shot Cartman a warning look. There would be NO Holocaust talk today. The absolute _last_ thing he wanted was to get into it with Cartman about such a sensitive subject, especially after what had happened yesterday. It would only serve as a reminder of how much of a mistake this whole ordeal was.

...

_Poor Kyle, he probably doesn't even know where to start,_ Eric thought to himself, rolling his eyes. Knowing that he would have to be the one to spark up the fire, Eric let out an exasperated sigh. "Well it's a pretty broad subject… what aspect of it are you studying?" he asked openly, knowing that if he made any sudden jabs about the Holocaust, Kyle would probably be out the door within seconds. _Just wait for it._

...

Kyle rolled his eyes and slumped down to hide behind his textbook. "Get back to work, Cartman," he muttered.

...

"I am working!" Eric exclaimed. Feeling a wave of feistiness suddenly flood his body, he slapped the textbook out of the way and gripped both of Kyle's hands in his own, playfully pinning them down on either side of his head. "By trying to help you! Come on," Eric insisted, lowering his head slightly as his eyes lit up in mirth. "Humor me."

...

Kyle felt a shock go through his body. The feeling of Cartman being so close to him again wasn't something he was expecting so soon. He half-heartedly struggled to get out of the other boy's grip, but couldn't bring himself to get too angry, given that Cartman didn't seem particularly malicious at the moment.

"Oh God damn it, _fine_," he said, his body relaxing against the couch. "I have a good feeling that the test prompt will be on how the war affected Germany… like, the whole country and its citizens, not just the Nazis and… you know."

He looked at Cartman with a determined expression, daring him to say something snide.

...

Oh God… talking about this with Kyle pinned beneath him was getting Eric a tad too excited. With a muted laugh Eric, finished Kyle's thought for him: "Jews?"

He _really_ hoped Kyle hadn't noticed his hardness and quickly retreated back to his side of the couch to hide it. Grabbing his worksheets again, he asked casually, "Well… what point are you trying to make about it?"

...

"I don't really know," Kyle answered honestly, reaching down to pick up the book Cartman had tossed aside. He cast his gaze downward to avoid meeting Cartman's eyes. "I guess… I dunno. I'm usually really good in this class. But I guess I just… can't make myself, you know, _care_… about them. Because of what they did."

He then looked up at Cartman, trying to convey how sensitive this subject was for him. If the other boy had an _ounce_ of compassion in him, he wouldn't laugh at him over this.

...

Eric was more interested in Kyle's lack of concern for the Germans than his apparent uneasiness about the topic, so instead of teasing his Jew, Eric just furrowed his brow. "You don't need to necessarily care about the Nazis… but what about all the innocent Germans that were just caught up in the whole thing? They were victims too…" he argued, believing that whole-heartedly.

...

"What are you talking about?" Kyle asked incredulously.

He sat up straighter to stare fiercely into Cartman's eyes. "They weren't the ones doing the killing, but they stood by and did _nothing_ while their friends and neighbors were carted off to their _deaths_! Telling themselves that it was ok, that the government should be trusted, that they really were _just_ work camps."

"Sure, there were a select few that tried to help, but _so_ many more people selfishly ignored the problem! It's like that murder that happened… Kitty something. She was being murdered and there were _dozens_ of people around, all standing by, watching through their windows or pretending it wasn't happening, and _no one did anything_ because they all thought someone else would! They didn't want the responsibility. They didn't want the risk. And the Germans were just like that. People are so fucking selfish!"

He looked away from Cartman in an attempt to hide how upset this was making him. Blinking back frustrated tears, he finished coldly, "So, no, I don't see them as _victims_. They were as much a part of the problem as the fucking Nazis were."

...

Though he wanted to scoff loudly and yell back his response, Eric reluctantly held his tongue. His mind was screaming at him to tell Kyle about how insanely wrong he was, but as much as he just wanted to rant about the condition of the Germans after World War I and the fear present during the Third Reich, he knew that Kyle would probably fight back just as loudly. It would probably end with them getting into another fight, which meant Eric would not be getting any for an even _longer_ period of time.

Placing his head into his hands, Eric racked his brain for a way to educate his Jew about this issue in a way that he could understand… and then he remembered something that he read about when he wrote his own research paper about Nazi Germany.

"Kyle," he perked up, sounding like he was essentially ready for a lecture. "Have you ever heard about a documentary called _The Third Wave_?"

...

"No," Kyle muttered, still stubbornly staring at the wall.

...

Leaning back into the couch, Eric kept his stare focused on Kyle as he began to illustrate, "I want you to imagine that you are in an inner city school. The condition of the building is in horrible shape and it's in a terrible area. Most of the students there do not care about their futures, let alone their school work, and you are one of the very few pupils that actually gives a damn."

"Now, one of your professors is a kindly old gentleman, pleasant but a little strict, and he's in charge of the advanced class since he has a lot of rules and enforces them very heavily. For instance: when the class begins, you need to take your seat and assume the proper seated position in less than 30 seconds without making a sound. Then at the end of class, you need to be sitting at attention before the dismissal bell rings," he explained, pausing before he remembered a particularly ridiculous rule. "Oh, and if you have a question, you have to stand up to ask it and it has to be done in three words or less. And you're required to preface each remark with the teacher's name."

Getting to the end of his first point, Eric leaned in closer for emphasis, "Because of the extreme structure of the class, you and the other students actually do very well in an otherwise chaotic environment. You find comfort in the orderliness and predictability of the teacher – and you would, right? I mean… if you found yourself in that kind of environment wouldn't you enjoy a class that actually had some level of organization?"

...

"No, it doesn't sound very appealing," Kyle said, finally turning to look at Cartman. He was wondering where the fatass was going with this. "_Some_ organization, yeah, but that teacher just sounds crazy."

...

"It needed that much structure though," Eric combated. "The teacher needed to filter out who was serious about their education and who wasn't… therefore, only the best and the brightest could pass the class – you included."

"Anyway, because the students essentially viewed this class as their refuge, they all start an academic club," he continued. "If you wanted to be in this academic club, you needed to either be in the class or be recommended people who were in the class. The club caused the sense of community within the class to grow tenfold – they basically became like a family. You, Kyle, find yourself comforted by it; glad that, despite your living conditions, you have a group of people who understand you."

Eric inhaled again, getting closer to the happy part as he explained, "In a matter of days the club expands from about thirty students to like forty-three, with all of them showing drastic improvement and motivation. To establish more unity, all of the students are given a member card and each of them receives special assignments to promote group spirit – making posters, cards and whatnot." He waved his hand and then nodded at Kyle.

"By this point, you feel pretty good and you're proud of the group. With your caring heart, you figure that other students need to know about the club, so you also recruit new members – and before you know it, a third of the school is involved! It practically gives anyone a chance to succeed in such a horrible place! Wouldn't you think that was great?" he concluded enthusiastically, trying to get Kyle to respond positively.

...

"I guess so…" Kyle said skeptically, still wondering what point Cartman was trying to make, but unable to say anything to combat his long explanation.

...

"Yet there's still the other two thirds of the school – those who couldn't hack it," Eric said, finally arriving at the conflict. "Your teacher is very surprised when some of his students start reporting to him when other members of the movement fail to abide by the rules. It was as though the community had become so close knit that when someone fell out of line it was viewed as disrespectful to the club."

He gave Kyle a skeptical look before continuing, "One day, you see a bunch of your classmates tell someone who's not in the club that she couldn't sit at a certain lunch table, and you're troubled by it. Then later, your given club assignment is to actually _prevent_ non-club members from coming into a meeting space when a conference was being held. A little weird, but understandable since you were the students who cared – of course you'd be treated better, you deserved it and you worked for it, right?"

...

It suddenly clicked. And Kyle took a deep breath and stood up, bringing his textbook with him.

"Fuck you, Cartman," he said darkly. "I get it now. I know what you're trying to get me to say. The 'Aryan' Germans were treated better because they deserved it. They _worked_ for it. They cared about their country. So it was _ok_ to do harm to the Jews. The handicapped. The homosexuals. The mentally retarded. Because they _didn't_ work for it. Because they didn't _deserve to be there_. RIGHT? Is that what you want me to say? Because I FUCKING won't."

He ended his tirade with an angry cry and threw his textbook at Cartman as hard as he could, hitting him square in the chest.

"You just don't _get it_, do you? It isn't _about_ how easy it is to believe your government is improving your life. Yeah, Germany _was_ in a bad place after World War I, and Hitler took that opportunity to rise to power. It… it can even be argued that he did… some good, because the economy improved for a while, right?" he said lowly, struggling to admit the last part. Then he shook his head. "The point isn't that they supported a system that was making their lives easier. The _point_ is that these people succumbed to their own stupidity – to groupthink. They ignored what was happening around them _because_ the system was making things easier. _For them_. Not for everyone. But they didn't care about anyone else."

"Because _fuck_, if it doesn't directly affect us, why bother? Right?" he asked mockingly. "Who the fuck cares about the people being _gassed to death_? Why care about genocide when we, the ordinary, everyday, _innocent_ Germans, feel a sense of _togetherness_."

"I can't expect you to get it," he finished in a monotone. "Because you never will."

...

"But that was all they knew!" Eric argued passionately. "Sure it didn't make it right, but at the same time what if that was just what you were taught!" He stood and walked up to Kyle. "What if it was_ you_ in the Germans' position?"

Taking a deep breath, Eric finally started his conclusion, "Say one of the students you recruited comes to you asking for help – another one of your club members caught her skipping out on a meeting to go hang out with her non-member boyfriend. You, Kyle, know the rules. You know that all club meetings were required and that access to the club required that you agree to attend every one of them – _she_ was aware of that too but knowingly broke the rule. Also! She was dating someone outside of the club, which was terribly looked down upon, since non-members obviously weren't wired for success."

Leaning in closer, Eric lowered his voice to make it more intimidating, "Furthermore – she's asking you to cover for her, to essentially help her commit treason after all you've contributed to the club. They were your family inside this hell – the people who were trying to help you succeed!" Eric made a dismissive motion with his hand. "You think she obviously wasn't cut out for the group, and wasn't honest about her devotion to her academic life."

Tilting his head to the side, Eric narrowed his eyes deviously. "So, Kyle, would you sacrifice _all you worked for_ so that this girl, who obviously had other priorities, could get away with her misconduct?" Smirking callously, Eric shook his head. "You didn't do anything wrong, why should _you_ suffer when all you've done is abide by the rules? Why should you push yourself in front of a speeding car for someone who meant harm to your 'family'?"

...

"That doesn't make sense, asshole!" Kyle cried, pushing Cartman away from him. "The Jews meant no harm! Fuck, the girl in your fucking story meant no harm either! She was only dating someone! What kind of fucked up club has rules like that, anyway? OH RIGHT, NAZI FUCKING GERMANY."

...

"Yeah, they did have those fucking rules," Eric said, resisting the urge to push Kyle back. "But that's where you're living Kyle, you're living in Nazi Germany and you're a German. Your government is controlling your life every day and if you step out of line you and your whole family gets sent to a camp! Yeah, there are people dying everywhere around you but a lot of people chose to save their _own_ lives, but oh wait!" Eric brought his hands up to cup his face melodramatically. "They can't even run away! Or else they get _murdered_."

Bringing his hands back down, Eric looked down to Kyle with dark eyes. "So what would it be, Kyle? Would you take a bullet for someone who you have been brainwashed to believe was _a lesser person_?" he asked harshly, desperate for Kyle to understand.

...

"If enough people spoke up," Kyle choked out, trying to keep himself from crying. He couldn't cry. Not now. Not in front of _him_. But it was just so _impossible_ for him to be empathetic to brainwashed people when he had relatives decaying in mass graves around Poland. "If enough… fought. It could have been stopped. But no one did. They… they all let it happen. They let themselves be brainwashed. And they let all those people die. _My_ people."

...

Seeing that Kyle was starting to get terribly upset, Eric changed his tone as he pleaded, "Don't blame the German's Kyle… blame ignorance. Blame intolerance, blame indifference." He reached out to calmly grasp Kyle's shoulder. "Because honestly, Kyle? Any group of people could have fallen victim to this regime."

Knowing what would convince him, Eric reluctantly brought up a bit of current history, "And all across the world it's still happening – even in Israel. _Your_ _people_ are dehumanizing Palestinians as an excuse to commit violent act upon violent act in an attempt to expand their territory. They're bulldozing functional homes with Palestinian women and children _still inside_ in order to gain more land. They throw Palestinians out of their houses so Jewish families can move in. And what's more? They not only deny Palestinians compensation, they just kick them out of their country or even bomb them."

He lowered his head and moved his hand to cup Kyle's face, continuing to speak in a soft voice, "So many of them are homeless, so many of them are left without families. And do you think anyone is helping them? No. Do you know why? Because Israel has claimed that they are 'entitled' to that land as their _own_ compensation." Closing his eyes, Eric asked in a low whisper, "But what about those Palestinians? Who will deliver them compensation Kyle?"

Getting to his final point, Eric moved to grip Kyle's shoulders and look directly into his Jew's watery emerald eyes. "It's an endless cycle, but truthfully? It will only end once you can forgive those who have harmed you and move on having learned a valuable lesson. If you can do that, history will never repeat itself." 

...

"You're such an unbelievable douchebag," Kyle spat out as he backed away from Cartman, unable to find the right words to express how disgusted he was by the asshole's audacity. He didn't believe for one second that Cartman gave two shits about what was happening to Palestinians, but _of course_ he would bring up a completely unrelated conflict that started decades before World War II in some stupid attempt to preach about cycles of violence. It didn't fucking make sense, and Kyle knew he _only_ brought it up to make Jews look bad. Relating the Israeli-Palestinian conflict to a fascist regime simply because there's violence involved? That didn't even make an _ounce_ of sense. He might as well have called America a Nazi country; the analogy would have been just as ridiculous.

So, since he considered it grossly irrelevant to the topic, he chose to ignore Cartman's thinly veiled propaganda speech in favor of addressing the issue of actual _Germans_.

"I wasn't blaming the Germans _because_ they were Germans," Kyle said slowly and deliberately, trying to remain as calm as he could, given that Cartman apparently hadn't paid attention to anything he had said up to this point. "Weren't you listening? I _was_ blaming ignorance. And indifference. These were ignorant, indifferent people who just _happened_ to be German. I don't hate Germans. I hate _those_ people. _Those_ Germans."

"I'm not saying that Germans are all bad people or that they were bad because they were German. And I'm not saying all Jews are good people just because they're Jews. So many Jews, _so many_, let other Jews die to preserve their own lives while in the camps," he said, the pain of having to admit this hitting him in the gut. "Because it was just survival. There's a survivor… a holocaust survivor. Primo Levi. He said in his book that the only reason he is alive is because he let other people die in his place. That's just… how it was. It was instinct. I'm _aware_ that it's not black and white, Cartman. I'm not a fucking retard." _Unlike some people in this room_.

He sighed, wishing at this point that he had just gone home at the beginning of this. He really needed to learn how to just walk away from conflict.

"But I _won't_ forgive. And I _won't_ forget. _I can't forget_. Because anti-Semitism is still alive today. _You're_ one of the people keeping it alive," he said, staring meaningfully into Cartman's eyes, his face set in a determined glare. "So, no, _no one's_ getting any forgiveness from me."

...

"Well then what are you going to say in your paper, Kyle?" Eric asked, ignoring Kyle's anti-Semitism accusation for now. "That the Germans got what was coming to them? That it was _their_ fault they were brainwashed?" He turned around to walk back to the sofa before looking back at Kyle. "Is it your fault that you were taught the things taught to you or my fault that I was taught the things that were taught to me?"

...

"I'll say that they were ignorant and apathetic. And that if they only acted differently from the beginning, the whole thing could have been prevented," Kyle said, unable to comprehend just how _little _Cartman seemed to be listening to him. "It's not their fault they were taught what they were. But it _was_ their choice to believe it. Just like it's my choice to either believe everything I hear, or to actually use my _fucking brain_ and think critically about it."

God he was so tired of all this. Their innocent study session turned into… a personal fight? An academic debate? He couldn't even tell anymore. Whatever it was, it had been exhausting. He hadn't really expected Cartman to have some real information to back up his views (albeit some of it was certainly biased bullshit). Hadn't the fatass always just taken the most radical stance he could and blindly followed it? And what's more… he hadn't even resorted to making jokes about the Holocaust, which surprised Kyle more than anything.

"I don't know," he said, laughing in an attempt to sweep the whole thing under the rug. He didn't want to think about it anymore; it was too painful a reminder that Cartman idolized Hitler and was an active anti-Semite. "I guess I'll just wing it. He probably won't even read my essay anyway. I think he just gives me A's without thinking at this point."

...

"Why couldn't that guy be my math teacher?" Eric joked, happy that they weren't fighting anymore. "Well your welcome Jew. Now you know what your essay is going to be about _and_ you have an opposing viewpoint to strengthen your argument! I'll even give you references."

He plopped down on the couch, leaving some room at the end as he coaxed, "Come on, you had a long day. Take a breather." He gazed over to his redhead, trying to signal a small apology for how intense their argument got right after Kyle had just taken the SATs.

...

Kyle looked at Cartman, who was waiting for him to come to the sofa, but didn't move. Their debate had brought to surface a lot of the emotions he had been unintentionally repressing lately: that this boy was his polar opposite, his enemy, the person who belittled his people constantly. Cartman hated the _very_ people who were so horrifically victimized by the political movement they had _just_ been arguing about. He was the boy who had dressed up as Hitler on multiple occasions. He had _literally_ destroyed synagogues.

He frowned as he suddenly realized that Cartman only knew so much about ordinary Germans because he had done his_ own_ bit of anti-Semitic brainwashing in an attempt to start _his_ 'Endlösung'.

In the end, Kyle was supposed to hate this person with every fiber of his being. He had every reason to feel that way. Every negative emotion he could ever possibly feel toward Eric Cartman was one hundred percent justified. He would be crazy _not_ to hate him, given all that he had done.

But despite how angry and frustrated as he was, and as much as he really _did _hate Cartman, all Kyle wanted to do was cross the room and curl up next to him on the sofa. So… he did. Maybe it was a bad idea to listen to what his body was telling him instead of his brain. But, he realized as he let his head rest on Cartman's shoulder, his brain had been getting substantially easier to ignore lately. That fact would almost surely get him into trouble, probably sooner rather than later, but… he would deal with it then.

...

Eric honestly expected Kyle to sit down on the opposite end of the sofa and ignore him for the rest of their study session. What he did _not_ expect, however, was for Kyle to actually walk over and settle in _right next to him_ so he could nuzzle softly into his beating chest. After a second or two of feeling paralyzed from shock, Eric let his body relax and brought over one of his arms to bring the redhead closer. He could feel Kyle's heart racing against his own as he buried his face in his favorite red curls.

"You know I only wanted to help you with your paper, Kyle," he tried to convince, nuzzling his Jew's hair and lazily massaging his back. "And I think having a debate like that can really help you get your thoughts straight." He brought up his other hand to soothe Kyle's tired head.

...

Kyle nuzzled into Cartman's chest, still reeling from how quickly he had gone from wanting to punch the guy in the face to… this. Whatever this was. Cuddling. With Cartman. And it was weirdly, inappropriately comfortable.

"Can we not talk about it anymore?" he asked sadly, bringing up a hand to idly play with the fabric of Cartman's shirt. He didn't want to hear justifications and excuses. He just wanted to forget about it.

...

"Hm. _You_r grade," Eric puffed, resting his head back against the arm of the couch. "But I gotta say, as a potential Political Science Major, you looked pretty amazing defending your point like that."

He brought his head back up to gaze into Kyle's tired and hazy eyes. "You'll do great in college when it comes to public speaking," he confidently predicted, his hand moving from the redhead's back up to cup his face. "Not as good as me, but…" He playfully head-butted his Jew and laughed. "Pretty close."

...

Kyle turned over slightly to fold his arms on top of Cartman's chest. "Yeah, with all the swearing and yelling, I'll be sure to win any class debate," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

He then rested his chin on his arms, looking at the larger boy with interest. "You want to be a political science major?"

...

"Seems like something I'd be good at," Eric replied, loving the feeling of Kyle resting on him like this – his large chest lifting him up and down every time he breathed. "So why not?" He shrugged and looked into his Jew's interested eyes "What do you wanna major in?"

He shifted so that one hand moved to stroke Kyle's hair and the other travelled down to the curve of his back.

...

"Oh," Kyle said, breaking eye contact. "I was thinking, maybe… literature. Or… uh, I really like ancient civilizations. So, I dunno. I like… being able to go far away, and get kind of… lost in another world. I wonder if NYU has an Escapism major..."

He looked back to Cartman and blushed a bit. "I know this probably sounds weird coming from me. Because I've always been the logical one."

...

"Hebrew Lit…" Eric teased, shaking his head. "What? You're mom's not making that decision for you?"

He thought Kyle's interest in ancient civilizations was kinda cool so he ran with it. "You like the ancient world? That's cool I guess… Ancient Egypt's always been kinda cool to me… with the worshiping cats, huge monuments, cool outfits and make up…" He blushed a tad before quickly diverting from that train of thought. "But yeah! There are so many others too, I can definitely understand the whole escapism thing."

...

"My mom doesn't know," Kyle responded simply, deciding to ignore the fact that Cartman conveniently had an interest in _yet another_ society that was notorious for persecuting Jewish people. "I think she wants me to be a lawyer like dad. But… even if I was a lawyer, I wouldn't do what he does. I think I'd want to be an attorney for the children. But they're really underpaid so that wouldn't make her happy either."

He huffed at the thought of his mom getting overly involved in his college decisions. "So on the off chance you talk to her in the near future, don't tell her. She'd probably kill me for wanting to read books for the rest of my life."

...

Perking his brow in concern, Eric slowly opened his mouth to respond, "No… no problem, Kyle."

He wasn't aware of Kyle's apparent secrecy in what he wanted to do with his life – it was kinda cool that he was hearing this, so he tightened his hold on the redhead before lightly kissing his forehead. "You shouldn't worry about that anyway. You're _pretty_ smart –" he said sarcastically, knowing Kyle was a fucking genius compared to him. "Whatever decision you make will bring you happiness eventually."

...

"Yeah…" Kyle said, pulling away slightly. "But… I don't want to talk about it anymore."

He knew it was the second time that afternoon that he'd asked Cartman to drop a subject, but Kyle hoped he wouldn't catch on. It was getting too easy to talk to Cartman about his life, and it wasn't shaping up to end well. He'd been _far_ too open with him today – and it was time to nip that in the bud before it became a habit.

"Let's just not talk at all, ok?" he asked before shifting his position and tilting his head to nip at Cartman's neck.

...

Eric's eyes flashed open and he smiled brightly as soon as he felt Kyle's warm mouth on his neck. _Certainly, _he thought to himself.

A bothered breath escaped his throat and he used the hand weaving through Kyle's hair to hold him in place. He then slowly dragged his other hand down to his Jew's behind, pulling it toward him as he began to rub their groins together.

...

Kyle let out a low groan when he felt their sudden contact. He pushed back into the groping hand and shifted so that he was straddling the other boy, moving his hands so they were pressing Cartman's shoulders into the couch. Smiling deviously, he congratulated himself on his success at cutting their conversation short. Moving from Cartman's neck to his mouth, he confidently took the other boy's lips in his.

...

_God_. Eric never thought he'd ever get to heaven but apparently he was very_, very _wrong.

Feeling Kyle's growing arousal grind against his own, Eric enthusiastically moved his remaining hand to join the other on his Jew's ass. Their groins pressed harder and harder together and Eric remembered that he had caught a glimpse of Kyle's smug eyes just before the Jew moved to boldly attack his mouth. It had almost seemed like… like he wanted to gain the upper position! Feeling Kyle intensify the kiss on his own accord, Eric suddenly became a tad nervous – Kyle was indeed on _top_ of him, after all.

But that wasn't going to last long.

Breaking the kiss suddenly, Eric removed both his hands from Kyle's ass to lift up the Jew's shirt and push him into a sitting position. Then, pushing himself up from the couch, Eric _furiously _moved his head to devour one of Kyle's nipples.

...

Kyle gasped as Cartman took things to the next level, clearly fighting him for the upper hand. He had almost forgotten what it had been like yesterday – how Cartman had gained a brute-like quality at the library. But God if it had been appealing then it wasn't anything compared to how it felt now, with Cartman's hands on his bare skin. He continued to grind against the brunet, his breathing gradually becoming more ragged as he let one of his hands travel down to tug at the other boy's shirt.

...

Hearing Kyle breathe like that was doing crazy things to Eric and he diligently kept toying with his precious redhead's nipple. Then, despite the fact that his hands were no longer pulling Kyle's ass toward him, he actually felt his Jew _continue _to ride against him.

Then he felt Kyle tug on his shirt and a powerful jolt travelled straight to his crotch. He eagerly pulled away for a second so that his redhead could tug his shirt off of him, and Eric followed suit by pulling Kyle's shirt off the rest of the way. Now with their bare skin touching, Eric hungrily resumed his nipple biting. He smoothed one hand up Kyle's back as his mind clouded over with more lust than he'd ever felt in his life.

...

Kyle couldn't believe this was happening, and moreover, he didn't know _why_ it was happening. But he couldn't really bring himself to care at the moment, because Cartman was grabbing at him and had his mouth on him and… it felt really good.

He let out a small moan before grasping Cartman's shoulders to push him back into the couch. He leaned down to yet again claim the brunet's mouth, involuntarily arching into the boy when their chests pressed together.

...

When Kyle pushed him back into the couch with another powerful kiss, Eric suddenly felt the amazing sensation of both their bare chests beating against each other. This kiss was different, though. This kiss was… there was something behind it, with their hearts beating and their crotches throbbing. Eric could definitely feel it, but he wasn't sure if Kyle did.

So, in an attempt to relay this change, the brunet hesitantly ended the kiss to stare straight up into the other's eyes. He knew that if he spoke now it would cause Kyle to run away, so Eric tried to convey his message wordlessly_,_ attempting to gain even the _slightest_ bit of trust and understanding from Kyle.

...

_Oh God, why?_ Kyle thought as he met Cartman's gaze.

Letting out an exasperated groan, he lifted himself up off the couch and sat instead on the coffee table. "What are you doing?" he asked, gripping the edge of the table with both hands. "Are you _trying_ to fuck this up?"

He sighed and looked away from the boy on the couch, suddenly very aware that he was half naked in Eric Cartman's living room. "Look," he said finally, glancing back with a stern expression. "I told you yesterday… this… is nothing. So, don't _look at me_ like that. Like you're trying to say shit. Because nothing needs to be said."

...

Desperately not wanting this session to end, Eric moved so that he was sitting up straight on the couch.

"See, Kyle, if you thought this was nothing then you wouldn't have reacted the way you just did," he said, meeting Kyle's gaze with his own inquisitive one. "If this _was _nothing, you would have just looked at me and kept going like nothing happened – you wouldn't be phased at all."

Then, smirking, Eric leaned over to quickly grab Kyle off of the coffee table, forcing him back on top of him. "But no… you freaked out again, which tells me that you just came to a realization, like you did at the café." He closed his eyes and nuzzled against Kyle's head. "But don't worry about it okay? You know, and I know, that we both enjoy this so… why stop now?" He moved his mouth back to Kyle's.

...

Caught off guard by Cartman's sudden movement, Kyle allowed himself to be pulled into the larger boys lap. By the time the move caught up with him, he was sitting with one knee on either side of Cartman, their crotches touching yet again. The brunet's arms were locking him in place and their mouths were pressed together and though it was an unexpectedly comfortable position to be in, Kyle _had_ to put a stop to this.

"No," he said, breaking their kiss. Maybe, if he was lucky, Cartman would get sick of his bi-polar behavior and he wouldn't have to deal with this problem anymore. "I have to go home… for dinner."

...

Looking up at Kyle incredulously, Eric reluctantly let go as he growled, "Fine Kyle, keep running God damn it!"

He crossed his arms over his bare chest as he raised his voice, "But you just remember who has the answers to all of your questions the next time you find yourself alone at night thinking about why you feel the way you do." He narrowed his eyes, looking away from his estranged Jew before delicately closing them.

"Go ahead and go," he concluded, still facing away to hide his hurt expression. "But the next time I see you I expect you to tell me that this whatever-this-is is more than just '_nothing'_."

...

Frowning, but not saying a word, Kyle got up and threw on his shirt. _Fuck Cartman. Always making things so God damn difficult. Can't just let things fucking __**be**__._

He gathered his school stuff and looked at Cartman once more. He couldn't agree to his terms, not like this, so he just threw him the dirtiest look he could muster up. Then he left, slamming the front door behind him.

…

**A/N:** So, uh, this was more of a history lesson than most of you probably cared to read, haha… but hopefully you liked it regardless! Any feedback is appreciated as always!


	8. June 17th

**A/N:** This is a short chapter, just featuring a chat between Eric and Butters, but it's pretty integral to the plot as a whole, so bear with us! Next chapter will have more Kyman awesomeness. Thanks for the reviews again! 3

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Eight – Thursday, June 17th

Normally Eric loved to put Kyle through trials; it actually excited him to see his little Jew try to fight his way out of them. The funny thing about it was that even if Kyle triumphed in the end, Eric was still pleased with himself because the feisty redhead would be so passionate about his victory. However, Kyle could never really remain triumphant because Eric would just throw another curve ball at him and the process would repeat itself.

Yet it didn't look that way now, and Eric realized that this particular trial was not going to be something he would enjoy. Now that the school year was about to end without having received _any_ contact from his estranged Jew, he was growing increasingly worried that maybe he really _did_ fuck things up. He was never content with what he had – he just had to try to milk their whatever-it-was even further. And now Eric was pretty sure it was over, and that yet again he would have to work on his goal alone.

Because despite their dismal current standing, Eric was still determined to make it into NYU.

"So he… actually let you touch him?" Butters asked. They were in the all-too-familiar nook in the library and he had been checking his e-mail on his netbook, nearly dropping it in shock when he heard Eric describe what had happened.

"Yeah, but he was trying to convince himself the whole time that it was just impulsive – that there was nothing really behind it," Eric replied, still looking down at his notebook. He was writing down some thoughts about what he was going to be doing now that his plan was starting to go downhill.

"It probably was, Eric… I mean, you have that magnetic quality when it comes to your, uh, persuasiveness," Butters tried to reason, sitting on the table closer to where Eric was situated. Crossing his legs, the blond brought his fingers up to his lip as he pondered. "He probably just fell victim to it at first."

"Yeah, _at first_," Eric combated, giving Butters only a second's glance before looking back down. "But by the time I had him on the couch with our shirts off I knew there was something else – something he wasn't telling me." He lowered his head to cover his reddening expression.

Feeling a tad flushed himself, Butters looked away as well as he mumbled, "He probably does see you differently after this… lord knows I do…" He brought his hand up to cup the back of his now throbbing head.

"It's not just that though – I mean…" Eric responded, still looking a little bothered as he furrowed his brow contemplatively. "When I felt his heart beating in time with mine, and the amount of passion he was putting in that kiss when our bare chests were touching?" He rested his head against the back of his sofa chair and scowled. "It couldn't have been just nothing! It couldn't have!" he tried to reason, nearly snapping his pencil in half as he gripped it in rage.

Butters was completely taken aback by Eric's testimonial, amazed that all that really took place. But the way Eric explained it all, with such _hurt_ that he had never seen his friend exhibit before… it was unbelievable for sure, but at the same time, it was _true_. However, he also knew that Kyle probably didn't feel the same way. How could he? This was 'Cartman' for god sakes, and Kyle didn't know the 'Cartman' that Butters knew.

"Eric, I think you've invested a lot in something that may or may not have warranted your investment," he began, knowing Eric needed to hear this. "I think that Kyle probably went along with it because he wanted to believe that there was someone else in you… that you really aren't just a soulless monster that has no real emotions or feelings."

He trailed the end of that sentence, obviously putting some of his own feelings into his words. "I'm pretty sure he didn't want to really believe that someone like that could exist… his strong sense of morality just couldn't handle that." He shifted his eyes to the distraught but determined looking brunet, before gripping onto his pants and nervously lowering his head. "So when you gave him that first ounce of affection, he _jumped_ on it. But now… now he's afraid of finding out if it's really real or not. He doesn't want to find out that it's all just been a game. It might destroy him if that's all this really is."

Suddenly feeling a tad perturbed, Butters irritably pried, "Was that what this was Eric, _really_? Did you just want to toy with him or do you really-"

"That's enough, Butters," Eric cut off, still looked towards the familiar windowsill as he narrowed his eyes. "Whatever Kyle's reasons are for staying away from me, I know now that I can't have anything to do with helping him figure them out. As much as it pains me to just sit on the sidelines while Kyle dukes it out in his brain, I know it's necessary for him to make his own decisions."

He then rushed out of his seat, collecting his things as he growled lowly, "I just hope that he doesn't make the wrong ones."

"Eric… you really shouldn't get your hopes up," Butters said, standing up to gingerly put a hand on Eric's shoulder. "Come off of it now while you're grades are still high and you're ambitions are still intact."

Eric slapped the hand away as he snapped, "You don't get it, Butters." He was starting to grow irate as he walked away from the table. "You just Don't. **Get. It.**"

He suddenly stopped, turning to shoot his blond companion a black and essentially empty stare."My ambitions are only intact now because I _do_ still have an ounce of hope for this. I can't allow myself to think otherwise."

Slowly turning his head back around, Eric proceeded to walk away as he called back, "I'm going to keep my grades up, but only because if I don't get into NYU…" He paused briefly as he stumbled a bit, quickly gripping onto a bookshelf to support himself. "_I might as well not exist_."

Butters didn't move from his spot as he watched Eric disappear. He was likely leaving the library to go off and plan what he was going to do now that _Kyle_ wasn't in his life anymore. GOD he was just _so sick_ of Kyle! That fucking kid had no idea what he fucking did to Eric, and _Butters_ was always the one who had to pick up the pieces once that _prick_ shattered his poor friend into a million different shards. And now Eric wanted to follow him to another state? That just couldn't happen, and lord knows _Eric_ wasn't going to stop himself.

So with a determined glare, Butters suddenly realized that he was the only one who could stop this. He was the only one who could prevent Eric from making the worst mistake of his life.

…

**A/N:** Sorry for the shortness! The lengths of these chapters fluctuate a lot, I know. But, there's more to come, lovely readers! 3


	9. June 26th

**A/N:** Hey all! New chapter tonight, and longer this time! Warning for sexy times, though nothing too crazy. ;) Hope you all like it!

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Nine – Saturday, June 26th

Just like the other times he had stormed out on Cartman, Kyle half expected the other boy to come after him or try to stop him or at least _pretend_ to apologize the next day. But… just like those other times, Cartman didn't do anything. He just gave Kyle his space. Ignored him, even. For _weeks_. It seemed like he was really serious about the ultimatum he offered – he honestly wanted nothing to do with Kyle unless Kyle could give him some answers.

But Kyle had no answers. He didn't want answers to really be _necessary._ Cartman wanted him to confess things he wasn't ready to admit to. He wanted Kyle to give in to him and his master plan… whatever it was. But Kyle wouldn't do that. Not this time. He'd learned over the years that whenever Cartman _seemed_ sincere, he was anything but. If he was confessing feelings, even with just his eyes, he was just lying to get what he wanted, because nothing about Eric Cartman was ever genuine. And if what he wanted was Kyle, there was no reason he wouldn't lie through his teeth to achieve that goal, right?

But the thing was… Kyle _would_ have done anything with Cartman. As much as it freaked him out to admit that, it was true. He was a teenager, and hormonal, and there was something undeniably appealing about… "sleeping with the enemy". He decided that he'd _clearly_ read too many books – Shakespeare and Homer had conditioned him to have this romanticized view that it was ok to enter into such a toxic relationship. So yes, Cartman could have had him if he wanted, at least physically. But he was still trying to place some kind of importance on this. What was he playing at?

He didn't know what Cartman's end goal was, but he couldn't deny that this secret attraction had given him such a burst of energy. Something he'd desperately needed. He'd gone through his teen years fairly lethargic and reclusive. It was easier to do homework than to have a booming social life, and Stan was the only person who he never got sick of being around. There were a lot of times he'd actually felt legitimately depressed, and he convinced himself that leaving South Park was the cure.

But lately he'd been thinking that… maybe it wasn't South Park. Maybe it was Cartman. Maybe avoiding Cartman had been the reason he lacked excitement in his life. The last time he felt this kind of rush of energy was… back when they hung out all the time. Back when they were kids and he couldn't control his temper and he would go to the ends of the earth to stop Cartman from succeeding in his scheme of the week. And honestly, now that he felt that same sort of fire in him, he realized maybe fighting with Cartman was what was missing from his life. And maybe… making out with Cartman was just as effective, maybe more so.

It had been a week since school ended and he hadn't seen Cartman at all, even in passing. He couldn't help but wonder how much the boy had managed to pull up his grades. And he cursed himself for even caring.

Beyond that, it had been three fucking weeks since that whole… _thing_ happened at Cartman's house. It had been _three weeks_ since they'd even spoken. Kyle was determined not to give in, and Cartman was, apparently, just as determined to wait patiently for that to happen. He expected Cartman to break first, because patience has never been a strong suit of his… but, maybe this was something he really wanted. Cartman was capable of being patient if it meant he would get something he _really_ wanted.

And it was getting really hard for Kyle not to just give in. He could feel himself growing more apathetic about everything with each passing day. He didn't even really care that he completely destroyed the SATs, coming out with a score of 2190. It was becoming blaringly obvious that Cartman was the reason he hadn't felt so bored with life during the times they met after school. As lame as it was to say, maybe Cartman was the fuel to his fire. He pretended to hate the confrontations and the back-and-forth, but really… he didn't. Those things sort of kept him going.

But what did all that mean in the grand scheme of things? Was he just some sick freak who thrives on violence and abusive language? Or did he just need Cartman around to give him that extra push, to make succeed in an attempt to prove the guy wrong? More importantly, did he want to be around Cartman _enough_ to risk what any kind of sexual relationship could ultimately do to him? Did he actually see Cartman as something more than a bigoted asshole creep, and what would that mean in the long run?

And if he waited too long to come up with answers to those questions, would Cartman just move on? Fuck, was he even waiting for him _now_, or did he move on already?

He needed to know. He needed some kind of encouragement, someone to tell him that this _wasn't_ a big game and that it was ok to let his guard down. If he was going to tell Cartman that this wasn't _exactly_ nothing, he needed some kind of security. And there was only one person who might be able to give him that. So he left the house, exactly three weeks after Cartman had given him his ultimatum, and walked over to the Stotch residence.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. When the blond finally answered, Kyle looked into the boy's confused blue eyes. "Butters, I need to talk to you about something."

...

_Oh hamburgers._

Should it have been surprising that Kyle came to him about this whole thing? Butters wasn't too sure, but what he _was_ sure about was how peeved he was when it came to Kyle's ignorance of this whole matter.

However, now that Kyle was here, maybe he'd be able to work on his plan to save Eric from this obsession. "Sure Kyle!" he perked up, hoping to sound convincing as he welcomed Kyle into his house. "Sure's been a while since we hung out, what do you wanna talk about?" He gave the redhead a bright and warm smile, but on the inside his was screaming at him for being so oblivious.

...

"Um," Kyle began, suddenly realizing that Butters probably didn't know anything about this. "Well, I was… _tutoring_ Cartman and, we got into a fight. You know how it is. I was just wondering if… he was really _serious_ about… the tutoring."

_Wow that was lame_, he thought, biting his lip. How stupid was he, hoping Butters would answer his questions with such a vague and almost unrelated piece of information? Cartman probably didn't tell Butters anything, so he had no idea why he thought coming here would help him.

...

Butters flung his eyes open. He was no idiot – of course he knew what Kyle was talking about. So he _was_ right, Kyle really didn't know whether Eric was being serious about their little thing. "Oh no…" he started, bringing his hand up to his face in fake shock. "So he _is_ going along with his plan?"

...

"Plan?" Kyle asked, the color draining from his face.

...

"Oh Kyle, I really don't think you wanna know!" Butters jumped over to place a sympathetic hand on Kyle's shoulder. "Yeah, Eric really does wanna get his grades up… he's being honest about _that_." He tried very hard to mask his excitement as he continued to act concerned. "But there's a reason why! Has he told you _which_ school he wants to get into yet?"

...

"…No," Kyle said slowly, remembering how he laughed at Berkeley and… how Cartman had conveniently used that to drop the subject. "I don't think he knows yet."

...

"Oh no Kyle, he knows what school he wants to get into. He knew which school he wanted to apply to as soon as you said which one _you _wanted to get into," Butters hinted, his nerves tingling with anticipation for when Kyle would start to put the pieces together.

...

"But…. Why?" Kyle asked, understanding what Butters seemed to be getting at. "The hippies and liberals… he wouldn't want to… he couldn't even _get into_…"

...

Butters was sure that once he told Kyle about Eric's plan it would defer him from continuing their lessons. He was convinced that Kyle would be horrified over Eric's attempt to follow him.

"It doesn't matter to him! Kyle," he took a deep breath, "what I'm trying to tell you is that he'd follow you to a college located in Hell if that's where you decided to go. I remember you saying at the lunch table that you wanted to move far away from here, and… isn't Eric one of the reasons why? I'm just worried that you'll have to deal with him in New York too!" His eyes were pleading with Kyle to just _get the hint_ and break it off with his dear friend.

...

"Then why did he kiss me?" Kyle blurted without thinking, his hand quickly flying to his mouth once he realized what he said.

"I mean…" he added, blushing as he removed his hand. "If he just wants to follow me to make my life hell… then why… did he do… that?"

...

"I don't know Kyle, Eric does some of the weirdest things and he doesn't tell me everything…" Butters shrugged. "All I know is that he's following you to New York and that he wanted _you_ to help him get there." He intentionally left out Eric's feelings in the matter, assuming that would turn this whole thing around.

...

"So… what you're saying is that he's just being selfish like usual? And that he's just using me?" Kyle asked. "I mean… he never told me he wanted to go to New York so he _must _just want to go there so he can continue to torture me."

He frowned, realization dawning on him. "He's just… trying to get to me to help him ruin my life. And, fuck, if he can get some action on the side, even better, right?" he added, laughing darkly. "He hasn't changed at all, then…. he's still a selfish asshole. And I'm still gullible."

Looking down the street toward where Cartman's house was, he added absentmindedly, "Fuck your ultimatums."

...

Knowing that the only person who could make this situation worse was Eric himself, Butters got an idea. "You know what you should do Kyle? You should go over to his house and tell him you're sick of his lack of honesty!" he exclaimed. "He needs to be straight with you! And don't leave his house until you're satisfied with his answer!"

_Which would be never, _he thought to himself.

...

"You're right, Butters," Kyle said thoughtfully, turning to walk down the Stotch's front steps. "I can't just ignore this. I'll see you later."

...

Eric had just finished unpacking all of his school supplies, glad that the school year was finally over and now he could spend his time... alone?

He looked to his empty room.

Furrowing his brow in irritation, Eric shook off that worry as he thought out loud, "No… Kyle will come to his senses and come to me before I-"

**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.**

He heard loud bangs come from his front door and the anger behind them was glaringly obvious. He grinned.

"- know it?" he finished his thought before running out of his room to bolt down the stairs. He threw open the front door to reveal his little Jew. "So! Ready to talk? I knew you'd come to your senses eventually…" He smiled down at the seething redhead, assuming that Kyle was so angry only because he was still so confused.

...

Kyle barely let Cartman finish his sentence before shoving him out the way and stomping angrily into the foyer.

"You're unbelievable, you know that?" he snapped, glaring ferociously at the brunet. "Following me to New York so you can continue to make my life hell after I made it abundantly clear that half the reason I'm going there is to get the fuck away from you!"

He took a few steps toward Cartman, maintaining his determined glare. "But that's not all right? What were you planning to do, Cartman? Fuck me so you can go around and tell everyone about what a fag I am? Get me to fall for you so you can watch me suffer later?" he asked angrily, poking the other boy in the chest.

"Butters told me about your plan, asshole," he seethed. "So fuck that ultimatum you gave me. I'm not giving in to any more of your bullshit."

...

Feeling Kyle forcefully pushing him into the room startled Eric more than he would ever admit. He was honestly expecting a nice 'why do I feel this way' session with Kyle followed by much groping, but as he looked into Kyle's enraged green orbs, he knew he thought wrong.

And then hearing about his Jew's knowledge of his plan? Eric was about ready to shit a brick as he opened his mouth in shock. "What? NO!" he cried, not wanting to believe this was actually happening as his nerves tensed and his heart raced. He was in full defense mode, resembling a scared rabbit being chased by a fox as he desperately tried to mask his fear.

Regaining his composure, he stomped over to Kyle. "Butters told you this? Why? That doesn't make sense!" he yelled, visibly sweating as he stared into Kyle's accusing eyes. "Why in the world would I fucking follow you to New York? I fucking hate that God damn place!" His face was mustered up in rage but his cracking voice signaled his real concern. "I don't know _how_ Butters came up with that, but it's absolutely _not_ the truth. He's obviously just jealous because I don't feel for him the same way I feel about you-"

Eric flung open his eyes as his heart dropped into his stomach. _Fuck._

...

"I – What?" Kyle exclaimed, taking a step back.

...

"N-nothing…" Eric replied quickly. "Listen. I _really _just want to get into a college, _any college_, to get my life back on the track."

He tried to cover the mess up, but he knew that he couldn't just totally dismiss the NYU thing right away… so maybe he could sugarcoat it somewhat. "And who knows! If NYU _happens_ to be the one suited for me then sure! I mean… If I really need to go there I might. It'll be a bitch with all the hippies and minorities but fuck it! I don't care!" He threw up his arms. "I have my reasons!"

He turned around to shy away from Kyle, really not wanting to go into it right now… especially after hearing about Butters' treason.

...

"Why would Butters make something like that up, Cartman?" Kyle asked accusingly. "It sure _sounds _like something you'd do! And God knows he's piss poor at lying about stuff!"

He sighed and walked over to the stairs to sit down. Then he slumped over and put his head in his hands, saying, "God, I was actually _considering_ this too! What the fuck is wrong with me?" He let out a derisive laugh. "I forgot what a good and honest person Butters was; I'm so fucking _glad_ I went to him before coming here. I would have made the biggest mistake of my life if I didn't."

Looking up at Cartman, he put on a callous smile to hide his embarrassment. "But you would have just loved that, right? Sorry Butters _ruined_ it for you."

...

Eric bit back a good helping of rage before he stormed over to where Kyle was seated on the stairs, quickly pinning the Jew's arms down so he couldn't escape. "I won't accept that Butters ruined this for me, because I've invested WAY too much into this to fail now."

His eyes softened. "Kyle!" he cried out desperately. "What do you think my reasons for possibly wanting to go to NYU are, _really_?" He pushed more of his weight onto Kyle's frame. "Why do you think I'd put up with all that no good liberal bullshit? To insult you more? Hell no, you're going to get that anyway by going there! I wouldn't _need_ to waste my effort on making you feel worse!" His voice cracked as he held back some threatening tears. "For God sakes what do you really think this has all been for, _huh_? A fucking _joke_?"

...

"I don't know, I wouldn't put it past you!" Kyle cried, though he was unable to ignore the strange shine in Cartman's eyes. "I don't know what to think, Cartman! Don't you get it? After all these years… what the hell am I _supposed_ to think of this? You seem to think I should just accept everything you're doing and saying but, God, I can't fucking do that!"

He leaned his head back in exasperation, looking pleadingly at the ceiling. "I can't trust you," he said after a moment. "You made sure of that a long time ago."

...

Eric's life was in danger now. Kyle was essentially saying that he was almost ready to give up on him and leave him forever. Understanding that this could be it, Eric gripped harder onto Kyle's wrists as he finally broke.

"What upsets me more than anything," he grumbled, so mortified that he was actually saying this. "Is that you really just don't know… and that more than likely? Even if you did know? You wouldn't accept it!" He knew Kyle had no idea what he was talking about as he lowered his head onto his dear redhead's chest. "I wish I could take this doubt away, but I know I can't change who I am or what I've done to you."

He closed his eyes, and the couple of tears that escaped them were quickly rubbed off onto Kyle's shirt. "So I've made mistakes, mistakes that I can't fix," he breathed, his tone giving away his plight. He bit his lip, not sure if he should continue… but what the hell! It's not like this could get worse!

So looking back up at Kyle, he whispered to hide his tightening throat, "But what I do know is that I can change my future, and for me to do that… I need _you_."

...

"I just don't understand," Kyle said, taken aback by Cartman's emotional display, "how you can put me through everything you have… and then say this stuff. But… you've done this before, haven't you? You've told me you were sorry and that you really do care about me. And I believed you. But you were just using me for your own gain. I just…"

He broke eye contact and looked down at Cartman's large hand encircling his wrist. "I don't get you. I can never tell when you're sincere, so I can't just blindly accept what you're saying. I'm sorry.… I know that you're lying to me somewhere in all this. And I know that I should stay away from you. But I keep coming back… I guess I never really could stay away, though," he said, smiling softly as he looked back to meet the other boy's desperate eyes.

"I want to believe you, I really do. But I can't," he admitted honestly, frowning again. "I'm too afraid of what will happen if I go along with it and it turns out to be a trick."

...

Hearing that Kyle actually wanted to believe in him gave Eric some degree of hope. "You want to believe me?" he asked gently, an ounce of boyish joy in his voice. "As in… you'd rather stick by me in the off chance that I'm being sincere, rather than leave me all together as if it was all for naught?" He smiled, releasing some of the pressure from Kyle's wrists.

...

"I don't know," Kyle whispered sincerely. "I don't want to get hurt."

...

"I won't hurt you…" Eric whispered, nudging Kyle's forehead with his own. "That is… I won't hurt you if you don't hurt _me_." He then took Kyle into his arms, staring into his emerald eyes for a brief second before moving his face to claim his beloved's mouth once more.

...

Kyle leaned in, increasing the pressure of their kiss for just a moment before pulling back. "Do you really mean that?"

...

Breathing heavily, and knowing that he was only one fucking sentence away from finally having what he's always dreamed of having, Eric looked back with wildly motivated mahogany eyes. "_With all my fucking __**decrepit**__ heart, Kyle_," he enunciated before forcefully moving his mouth back onto Kyle's.

...

Laughing into Cartman's mouth, Kyle brought his arms up to wrap around the other boy's neck, holding him closer. He let the kiss go on for a few moments before gently breaking it.

"Butters will be pissed… if you were right about him being jealous," he said, smirking as he moved one hand to thread through Cartman's hair.

...

"**So what**?" Eric growled, hungrily nuzzling into Kyle's neck. "I don't want to think about that no good, treacherous, lying _faggot_ while I'm grinding my junk into you." He moved Kyle's hips closer into his as he continued to nip at the redhead's neck.

...

Kyle laughed as he grasped at the other boy's shirt, leaning his head back to give him better access to his neck. He shifted his hips slightly to give Cartman a better angle and felt that now-familiar heat run through his body.

...

"See," Eric started in a seductive drawl, experiencing again the overwhelmingly satisfying feeling of Kyle giving into him. "You really can't help yourself, can you, Jew?"

He enthusiastically rubbed his arousal against Kyle's ass from his seated position as he added, "I really do something to you, don't I?" He bit his lip for a second as he pondered over whether his next question was appropriate. "Do you… wanna take this to my room?"

...

"Yes," Kyle breathed, giving in completely. It wasn't worth the fight, he decided in his aroused haze. It felt too good to keep running away from. And, really, what was the worst that could happen?

...

"Good Jew…" Eric growled as he started to get up from the stairs, bringing Kyle up with him. He took his hand and they both hurried up the remaining stairs up to his room. Once he got to the door, Eric essentially yanked his Jew inside before he attacked his mouth once more. He held onto him with a considerable amount of force, as though he was determined never to let go of Kyle again.

...

Kyle moaned into the larger boy's mouth, hands moving up to grasp at his shirt collar. Humming deviously, he tried to get Cartman more worked up by using his tongue to fight for the upper hand. It hadn't slipped his mind that the brunet seemed to get rougher every time Kyle tried to win this battle for dominance.

...

Eric loved the fight in Kyle more than any other delicious trait of his, therefore he let Kyle have this small little victory by letting the Jew's deviant tongue probe his mouth with such vigor. He even leaned back a tad, stepping back to let Kyle fall on top of him onto the bed, resuming their grinding session before hastily breaking the kiss to growl out, "You know… as hot as it is to grind against you like this, you _know_ that's not all it's going to take for one or both of us to get off, right?"

He leaned into Kyle's neck to give it a love-bite, a wicked idea coming to mind. "I know that this is still kinda new," he teased, "but I've got quite a little naughty suggestion to bring our casual hump session up a notch." Bringing his head out of the crook of Kyle's neck, Eric looked back into Kyle's eyes, his own sparkling with mischief. "Care to hear?"

...

Kyle furrowed his brow, not sure if he was particularly ready to take things to another level – sure it had been a few weeks since they first kissed, but they weren't speaking for most of that time.

He sat up and moved so he was straddling Cartman's waist. "What is it?" he asked uncertainly.

...

Hearing Kyle's interest delighted Eric, and he sat up to delicately carry his Jew to the head of the bed to lay him down. "I can tell that you want to trust me _so badly_… and I'm aware that it will be something that will take some time," he conceded, moving to all fours with one knee in between Kyle's legs.

"So… _I'm_ not going to be the one to touch you first… _instead…"_ he shifted his eyes towards Kyle's crotch before darting them back up to sensually eye Kyle's concerned. _"I want you to touch yourself… in __**front**__ of me."_

...

Kyle shifted uncomfortably from under the larger boy, hit hard by the realization that he was in Cartman's _bed _being told to _touch himself_.

"Can't we just… kiss some more?" he asked, blushing.

...

"Shh shh…" Eric soothed, leaning down to place a small peck on his Jew's face. "Kyle, Kyle, don't get _nervous_. I won't look, I promise."

He kept his eyes focused only on his dear redhead's emerald orbs before moving forward to kiss one of his worried eyebrows. "I just want to know if it's possible to, you know, _progress_… as much as I love kissing your tasty little Jew lips," he teased, moving back down to playfully nip one of them.

...

Kyle moaned as Cartman lightly bit his bottom lip, involuntarily bucking his hips into the larger boy.

"You're acting like – like we're in a fucking locker room," he said, breathing raggedly. "And I'm nervous about changing in front of you. This is – _slightly –_ different."

...

"As I said, my eyes are only going to be up here," Eric said, cupping Kyle's chin in his hand. He delivered a short, calming peck to his lips. "And besides, imagine how much better you'll feel after it? I mean… certainly after this a lot of this tension might dissipate."

He moved his free hand back to dip into the crevice of Kyle's ass, lifting him up slightly. "I just want to know if you're ready to take this step with me…" Eric's eyes suddenly narrowed as their arousals touched again. "I mean, you get so hard already…"

His eyes slid down to watch their grinding crotches before he chuckled maliciously, "Don't you want some _release?_" He moved his devious gaze back up to Kyle's bothered one.

...

Kyle only nodded, unable to form words in response to what Cartman said. He always had been persuasive, and he seemed to have only improved on that talent.

He reached down and brought the other boy's hand back up, then leaned up to kiss him, immediately opening his mouth to let Cartman in. Nervously, he slid his hand down his body and began to undo his jeans. Determined not to allow Cartman any sneak peeks, he deepened the kiss and brought his other hand up to the brunet's neck, holding him in place.

When he was finally able to touch himself, without fabric blocking the way, he let a guttural moan escape him.

...

Eric was honestly only interested in seeing Kyle's reaction, so even as they kissed, he kept his eyes open just enough to gaze at his redhead's flustered face. And though he couldn't _watch_ what was happening, he could sure _feel _it. He could actually feel Kyle's hand slowly make its way down to coax out his growing cock; his knuckles inadvertently grazing Eric's own arousal as he tensed considerably.

Breaking the kiss, Eric closed his eyes for a brief second as he groaned, unsteadily holding himself up over his writhing Jew.

...

Kyle opened his eyes once their kiss was broken, just to make sure Cartman wasn't about to try anything funny, but he was met only with the brunet's expression of pleasure. When Cartman let out that groan, Kyle couldn't help but notice that both the boy's hands were still firmly planted on either side of him. Which meant… just _knowing_ what Kyle was doing was getting him off. _Just _knowing, not even _seeing_.

_Oh God_, he thought over and over again through his aroused haze. He let out another loud moan and arched up into Cartman, his hand movement picking up speed.

...

_Oh God our bodies are full on touching now._

And Kyle's hand… oh God his hand was moving faster and Eric could _feel it_. Those teasing movements underneath his pulsing cock, which was throbbing against his jeans as though it was in a cage and _desperately _wanted freedom. But this wasn't about him, this was about Kyle. It was about Kyle willingly showing his vulnerability and trusting Eric enough to do this with him looming overhead.

Yet Eric couldn't contain himself as he watched Kyle's panting mouth, his brow furrowed in intense need. His breaths were growing more desperate by the moment as the redhead continued to pleasure himself _directly_ beneath Eric.

Lowering his face just above Kyle's, Eric's lips grazed against his Jew's parted mouth. "_Who is doing this to you… in your head_?" he dared to ask, his voice sounding so sinister. "I want you to picture him as clear as you can…what does he look like Kyle? What is he _doing_ to you?"

...

Kyle's breath hitched at Cartman's words, but he didn't protest or complain. _God_ he was too far gone to even think about denying this request. His head fell forward onto the other boy's shoulder as his thumb moved over the head of his cock. _Fuck._

"You – it's always – you, now," he gasped into the fabric of Cartman's shirt, unable to form a complete response to the question. "Touching me – ah – doing a-anything-"

His left hand slid down from the brunet's neck to his bicep, his fingers digging into the skin there as he brought himself closer to release.

...

_Oh Christ, this is what I've been waiting to hear!_

What was he feeling? Was this even a feeling? It had to be Nirvana. Eric remembered briefly discussing this in one of his classes. A state of pure bliss and oneness with everything – a place that humans couldn't comprehend. A state of mind that existed in another place far away from the realm of consciousness or comprehension. This had to be it, because as soon as he heard Kyle admit who was doing these things to him inside his head, Eric felt a powerful surge envelope his body that wasn't necessarily sexual or physical. Rather, he felt filled with absolution. He felt God-like, hovering over Kyle like this, knowing that his image and his presence were all what his beloved could think about now.

Nearly crashing down with Kyle's hand gripping onto his arm, Eric rested his forehead against the redhead's as he hummed contentedly, "_Well_… guess what Kyle? I'm _here_!" He concentrated on Kyle's fingers digging into his bicep so desperately. "Looking at your majestic body as you **yearn**for my touch." He felt himself cloud over as his balls swelled in anticipation.

...

Kyle sighed and tilted his chin to bring their lips together once again. He hummed with pleasure against Cartman's mouth and bucked his hips, now intentionally brushing the other boy's bulge with his hand as he moved.

He tried desperately to control himself as he came closer and closer to his peak – the sounds that came out of his mouth, the movements he made… he had to keep himself in line, as much as he could. But he couldn't stop himself from releasing periodic moans and gasps, especially now that he could feel how absurdly _hard_ this was making Cartman.

...

Oh God now he _knew_ Kyle was fucking touching him on purpose – the teasing was getting a little too much for Eric to bear, especially coupled with hearing his Jew's moans and cries from below. So he stroked his tongue one more time against Kyle's lips before asking breathily, "Can… can I finish you?"

...

Kyle's eyes flew open at the request. The idea of Cartman… touching him that way… in real life, with no fabric between skin and skin. _Oh, fuck._

"Yes," he moaned softly, meeting the brunet's lustful gaze.

...

The second after Eric heard his Jew agree to his request, he flung his right hand down to replace Kyle's. He grasped onto the sensitive flesh longingly, stroking it as though it was his own, feeling his redhead convulse underneath of him. _Oh God, _he could _feel_ Kyle's pulse through it. Fuck, it was finally happening, Kyle was about to come for _him._

"**Do it Kyle**…" Eric increased the speed of his pumps as he shook the bed with his persistent bucking. "**Come for me **_**God damn it**_!"

...

"Oh, fuck!" Kyle cried at Cartman's demand. That, coupled with the simple, _amazing_ feeling of being touched there by something that wasn't his fucking _right hand_, finally pushed him over the edge. He came with a loud moan, realizing too late that he was making a fucking mess of his t-shirt.

When he came down, head crashing back against the pillow, breath coming out in slow pants, he remembered that there was another person in all of this. _Oh Jesus_. He opened his eyes to meet Cartman's. "Um, sorry," he said awkwardly, not necessarily to apologize for anything – he just didn't know what one should say after being jacked off by their worst enemy.

...

Knowing that it was him who caused this made Eric want to come in his own pants simply from his own absolute brilliance. However, he was able to hold it back as soon as he heard Kyle actually _apologize_ for the whole thing.

"Sorry for what?" Eric replied, delicately tucking Kyle's dick back into his boxers and gently pulling up the zipper on his pants. "If felt good, didn't it?" His glazed over mahogany eyes met Kyle's clearing emeralds ones and he smiled. "That's all that matters."

He ducked down to take his precious redhead into his arms, falling to his side as he began to stroke his favorite red curls. "How do you feel?"

...

Kyle closed his eyes at the touch – it felt good whenever Cartman played with his hair like that.

"Awkward," he answered honestly, and then opened his eyes to look back at the other boy. "But good."

...

"You'll get used to it," Eric assured, trying to calm himself down as he took in all that had happened. This whole session essentially confirmed the fact that all this work _was_ for something and that this was only the beginning of possibly the best thing that would ever happen to him in his whole life.

"Now…" he stared back down at Kyle, eying a glob of semen on the other boy's shirt as a devilish thought came to mind. Reaching out to daringly swipe it off, Eric then carried it back up to his face as he toyed with it between his fingers. "I'm getting kinda hungry…"

Knowing this would gross Kyle out, Eric playfully licked off his coated digit, swallowing the sticky but surprisingly sweet substance before asking, "Wanna go out to eat somewhere?" He then eyed his redhead's messed up shirt again and laughed. "I'll give you a smaller shirt of mine to change into…"

...

Kyle flushed and averted his gaze, taken aback by Cartman's teasing action. Now that he was spent and his mind was clear, it was dawning on him just how strange all of this was. And really, 'strange' didn't even begin to cover it.

"Sure," he said nervously, his eyes briefly landing on the brunet's crotch before snapping back up to his face. "Are you… I mean… I- um…?"

He suddenly felt a pang of guilt for leaving certain things… unfinished. He didn't want Cartman to think of him as selfish – it would only reaffirm what he already thought, after all… that Jews were greedy. But he didn't think he was ready to go that far. To touch Cartman that way. To have the other boy watching him, judging his movements.

...

"Oh!" Eric responded, flushing a bit before rustling Kyle's hair in jest. "Don't worry about me, this was about you!"

In actuality, he just didn't want Kyle to see him that vulnerable yet. He would fix this particular problem later that night by himself, but for now he was just happy to get Kyle off. It was almost as pleasing. "So, where do you wanna go? I'll take you anywhere."

...

Sighing with relief, Kyle smiled. "We don't have to go anywhere. You probably have food here, right?" he asked, not wanting Cartman to spend any money on him. "This is _your_ house, after all."

...

"Okay then..." Eric responded, bringing Kyle in closer to snuggle into him. "Well then, why don't we sleep for a bit...? Lord knows you must be exhausted." He wrapped his large arms around Kyle's small torso, burying his face in those ferocious red locks. "After all, you came a lot, Jew..." he growled suggestively.

...

"Don't be disgusting," Kyle reprimanded with a glare; but Cartman was right, despite his lewdness – he _was_ tired. So, turning over so his back was to the brunet, he made himself comfortable and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of having Cartman's arms around him – though it still blew his mind that he could _ever_ feel that way.

...

"It's not disgusting. It's the truth," Eric teased, sinking deeper into the bed as he felt Kyle curl up against him. Watching his beloved's chest rise and fall within his hold made Eric's heart flutter ever so slightly. Soon he too closed his eyes, nudging Kyle's head as he mouthed something to himself before dozing off.

…

**A/N: **Sorry this got put up so late! "Eric" and I were in NYC seeing The Book of Mormon this weekend (which was SO EFFING GOOD YOU GUYS!), and I was sooo tired today that I didn't get around to doing last-minute edits until just now. But regardless, we hope everyone liked it! Finally some more legit action for you all. ;)

PS: **We met Trey Parker and got his autograph!** There's a pic of our playbills and some Kyman M&M art to go with it in our profile if anyone's interested! We seriously almost died (and maybe we really did die, lol, because I still have trouble believing it actually happened). Anyway, feedback is loved as always! *loves everyone* :D


	10. July 2nd

**A/N:** Hey all! Sorry this came later than usual… fanfiction was being a jerk, but it's here now! And one my personal favorite chapters! :D This relationship is probably moving too slowly for some of you, but we want to emphasize that Cartman/Kyle is by NO MEANS an easy pairing to write about – if it's easy, they're probably ooc, to be honest, and we don't want that. There's a lot of history and problems to work through, and a lot of conflict. But that's what makes it more rewarding in the end when it works out, right? :D

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Ten – Friday, July 2nd

It had been almost a week since Kyle spoke to Butters and confronted Cartman. Almost a week since things escalated and did not go as planned _in the least_.

After… that thing that happened, they had both fallen asleep, only to wake up a few hours later to what can only be described as the most awkward moment of Kyle's life. It was a nice nap while it lasted. He couldn't deny that he felt comfortable in Cartman's bed. Fuck, it would be useless to deny _anything_ at this point. Once you let someone touch your dick, you don't really have a leg to stand on if you try to deny any kind of attraction.

Despite that, though, it was difficult for Kyle to come to terms with letting things go so far so quickly. It seemed like a good idea at the time. But, in retrospect, he knew he should have taken things more slowly, especially since Cartman had given off the impression that he was emotionally invested in this. But then, it had always been hard to control himself around Cartman. It was just… not as big of a deal when he was just dealing punches.

He avoided Cartman all week after what happened, but it kind of seemed like Cartman was doing the same thing. So it was ok.

Now, though, he was in Cartman's car yet again, heading for an unknown destination in town. The brunet had been pretty adamant about taking him out… as much as Kyle really didn't want to. It seemed like a date. How could it not be? You make out with someone repeatedly and they offer to take you anywhere… it seemed like the only word for this was DATE. And Kyle was rather opposed to the idea of dating Eric Cartman. Hooking up with? Fine, he could handle that. But dating? That was just too weird.

"So… where are we going?" he finally asked from the passenger seat.

…

"I think you'll like it," Eric explained as he turned the corner into the heart of town. "It's pretty hipster and hippie-like, but they make a MEAN white hot chocolate." He peered over to Kyle. Eric knew that he had been a little more than shocked by his behavior when they had last seen each other, but it's not like he didn't _like_ it.

Lord, Kyle was the one who agreed to have Eric finish him off in the first place. So Eric essentially ignored his Jew Princess behavior and reached out to boldly grab his thigh. "It seems like the kind of place that you'll go to once you get to New York." He cracked a teasing smile. "The kind of place your hipster boyfriend would take you in that situation I conjured up the last time we went out."

He gave Kyle's leg an affectionate squeeze and drove around to park his car in the back. "You've never heard of this place? It's called The Pour House… kind of a play on words…." Biting his lip, Eric blushed a bit as he mentioned, "And as I said, you can get anything you want. My treat."

…

Kyle blushed, not sure how to respond to the boyfriend comment. What was Cartman playing at? Was that a round-about way of accepting that Kyle wanted this whole thing to mean nothing? Cartman was the one who seemed to want something more out of this. He shouldn't be mentioning future boyfriends. And why was Kyle even thinking about this anyway? He should be more than glad that Cartman implied this was by no means a long-term situation.

"Of course I've heard of it, asshole," Kyle said, ultimately deciding that the boyfriend comment was not worth responding to at all. "I just didn't know you were taking me here."

While they walked toward the building, Kyle found himself feeling really conflicted about Cartman's choice of place. On the one hand, it was sufficiently laid back. Not necessarily date-like. At least not compared to the German place. On the other hand… there would undoubtedly be people they knew there, as Craig and all of his friends worked there, and South Park kids loved to go there. He knew for a fact that Stan and Wendy were there almost every fucking day, so he hoped to God they were in a fight or something.

"Is there a reason you're taking me to a place where everyone and their mom hangs out?" he asked bitterly as they approached the building.

…

"Because this is 'nothing', right?" Eric joked as they walked past the outdoor patio where most people sat in the summer. "If this bothers you too much Jewboy, you should really ask yourself why."

They went up the walkway to the back entrance and Eric held the door open. "I mean, we can always say we're waiting for others if they ask," he said, lowering his eyelids skeptically. "Unless you just want to come out with it and say we're-"

…

"We're waiting for others," Kyle said, cutting Cartman off before he could finish his sentence. He walked through the doorway, rolling his eyes at Cartman's unnecessary attempt at common courtesy. "If anyone asks."

Before they approached the counter, which had Craig and Tweek working the registers, he stopped Cartman in his tracks. "I'm paying for myself," he said under his breath, meeting the other boy's gaze with a look that said not to argue. "I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea."

…

"Fine," Eric replied, approaching the counter first as he eyed a very confused looking Craig. "Sup, just want the regular." He ordered, implying that his usual drink preference was already known by the staff.

"Yeah yeah," Craig said dismissively, glancing over to Kyle with a slightly bewildered face as he started to pour the milk for the hot chocolate. "Haven't seen you here in a while though, fat boy… got uh…" He looked back to Kyle for a brief second. "Other priorities?"

"Nothing much," Eric replied nonchalantly, giving Kyle a passing glance as well. "Just enjoying the summer after a stressful semester."

"YOU DON'T KNOW THE HALF OF IT!" Tweek exclaimed, suddenly barging in from the kitchen only to rush to the cash register. "Apparently **everyone's **been stressful because we've been BUSY AS HELL and my parents have me working OVERTIME EVEN THOUGH IT'S SUMMER." He slammed his fist on the button to open the register drawer and then gripped his hair in a frenzy. "THE WHOLE TOWN HAS SOME SORT OF CAFFEINE ADDICTION! IT'S AN EPIDEMIC!" He pushed a couple of buttons before gritting his teeth to mutter, "3.70."

As soon as Tweek muttered his amount Eric slipped him an additional five. "_Cover Kyle's too."_

"WHAT!" Tweek exclaimed as he took both bills, eying Kyle, who was still looking at the menu. "Um…. Okay?" He flinched as he put both fives in the cash register.

...

Once Cartman was finished ordering, Kyle approached the register. He was confident that, now that he was paying for himself, being out with the fatass looked as casual as it could possibly look.

"I'll just have a regular coffee… hazelnut if you have it. With cream," Kyle said, not wanting to be too much of a bother for the already clearly stressed blond.

"SURE, NO PROBLEM!" exclaimed Tweek, causing Kyle to wonder how the kid would ever hold down a job once he wasn't working for his parents anymore. Craig, who had just delivered Cartman his drink, peered over to the register's screen to see what Kyle had ordered. While he set to work getting Kyle's coffee, Tweek simply began to take change out of the register without telling Kyle what he owed.

Then the blond handed Cartman the change and told them to have a good night. Kyle felt like strangling everyone within five feet of him. _How dare that asshole ignore me like that?_ Once he got his own drink and Craig and Tweek went back into the kitchen, he turned to glare at the brunet.

"What the fuck is your problem?" he whispered furiously.

...

"What, Jew?" Eric chuckled before dismissively taking a sip of his white hot chocolate. He pocketed the change and bumped Kyle playfully. "Just take your free drink and calm the fuck down."

He laughed as he looked around, "Okay, where do you wanna sit?"

...

"I don't know, over there I guess," Kyle said, nodding to a table in the far corner. He took his coffee and started to walk over, not giving Cartman a chance to object – asshole wasn't getting that right after the stunt he just pulled.

Once they sat down, he resumed his glaring. "I _told you_ I wanted to pay for myself," he said, frustrated with the brunet's lack of discretion. "What the fuck, Cartman? Now they're going to _know_ something's up. This was such an awful idea…"

...

"Yeah yeah, just as 'awful' as all the other stuff we've been doing right?" Eric scoffed. "Well, _you're welcome_ Kyle, even though this dank corner can't compare to how nice it is outside." He looked out the window, eyeing the gazebo, which was decorated with Christmas lights.

The corner _Kyle_ chose was in the back where the fireplace was, but it had the advantage of having tables set up like chess boards, complete with game pieces. "And fuck them anyway, I think it's about time you started to enjoy your… 'fabulous' lifestyle," he said, peering back at the frustrated looking Kyle before taking another sip of his drink. "It doesn't make sense that you're so secretive about it. I mean… what are you going to do once you get to New York?" He rapped his fingers against the table and leaned forward slightly.

...

Kyle raised an eyebrow at the brunet. "You really think _that's_ it?" he asked, honestly surprised. "Jesus, Cartman. I'm not ashamed to be gay. I'm not trying to hide it. If anyone cared to ask I'd tell the truth… so it's no secret. My parents don't know, for now, but Ike does. Stan does, Wendy does…"

"It's _you_. I don't want people to think I'm _with you_," he paused, realizing how rude that sounded, regardless of how true it was. "It's just… too fucking complicated and having to explain all this bullshit to people isn't something I want to deal with right now. I thought you understood that."

...

_Way to harsh a boner._ Of course Eric knew that Kyle didn't want people to get the 'wrong impression', but he could see that Kyle was trying to 'cover up' for things. "Kyle, you don't have to be such a dick about it," he combated with a heavy amount of venom in his voice. "Yeah I know you're less than thrilled about our little 'thing', but I disagree about your openness… I mean…" He eyed the bag of chess pieces at their table before reaching out to grab them. "I don't see you making passes at anyone else…" _Thank God._

...

"Cartman. Being openly gay is _not_ the same thing as prancing around with a fucking lisp, announcing your sexuality and getting on your knees for anyone with a dick. Grow up. There's such a thing as being tactful, you know, and not everyone's a stereotype," Kyle said irritably before taking a sip of his coffee. He watched the brunet dump the chess pieces out on the table.

"So of course you don't _see_ me making passes at people," he added, smirking a bit. "But that doesn't mean that I don't."

...

Eric's face immediately grew stone cold and he frowned with immense dissatisfaction. Mechanically placing his black pieces on the right spaces, the brunet glared up at the smug-looking Jew before growling, "_Who__?_"

...

"I really don't think it's any of your business," Kyle said as he finished setting up the white pieces on his side of the board. "Seeing as this is nothing."

Smiling at the brunet, he moved one of his pawns forward.

...

"Oh, okay then," Eric said as he eyed the first piece Kyle moved forward. "Does this person… say…" He paused as he sensually fingered his knight. "Know about… certain…_habits_ you have when you're in a particularly…" He moved the knight forward. "Rowdy mood?" He took his eyes off the board to suggestively gaze over at his defiant redhead.

...

"Habits?" Kyle asked as he made his next move.

...

Eric chuckled slightly as he offhandedly moved a pawn forward. "Don't think I don't notice the little things you do when we're going at it…like how much you just LOVE to grab to my shirt collar when you find yourself in the heat of passion."

Leaning back in his chair, Eric eyed Kyle down, essentially undressing him with his eyes. "Bringing me in closer as though you feel like just _melting_ into the kiss…" He narrowed his eyes and cracked a devious smile, his pants growing tighter as some of those pleasant memories resurfaced.

...

Kyle felt his cheeks go red. _Fucking asshole_.

"This is a completely inappropriate place to be talking about that," he chided, moving one of his knights out. "And like I said, it's none of your business what I do."

...

"None of my business?" Eric exclaimed as he moved his bishop to take out one of Kyle's pawns. "My shirt's the one being grabbed while you're kissing me and it's none of _my_ business?" He laughed incredulously as he glanced over at his Jew's reddening cheeks.

"Our thing _is_ my business, and besides…" he dared to insinuate. "It's not like you don't want it to be. After all…" He paused, taking the pawn in hand to claim it as his own. "You did say that you think about me when you, um," he chortled, passing Kyle a mischievous glance. "_You know_."

...

Kyle took a sip of his coffee. If Cartman was so intent on embarrassing him, then so be it. He could play games too.

"How do you know I don't just say that to everyone?" he said in a low voice, moving his first pawn to grab the one Cartman had sent out. "I mean, it works right? Me saying that I think about you that way… it really got you going. As I recall."

...

Eric gritted his teeth in frustration, not because Kyle took his pawn away but because he really got him there. "What do you mean 'to everyone'?" he snapped, moving his knight forward again. "By the way you were acting that night I could tell that it was your first time."

He crossed his arms defensively, not really knowing at all if it was Kyle's first time doing that. It was, after all, _his_ first time doing anything sexual as well. "Besides, who else would want to do anything to a scrawny Ginger Jew like you anyway?" he grumbled, obviously bent out of shape that Kyle would insinuate that there have been 'others'.

...

"Who else indeed…" Kyle said as he idly moved another pawn forward one space. He was exceedingly proud of himself for keeping his cool. It was obvious he was getting to Cartman, and he couldn't have been more satisfied that he was winning at this particular mind game.

"Besides," he continued, sipping his coffee. "You didn't seem to think I was so terrible to look at when you were calling my body… what was the word? Oh, right, _majestic_."

...

Eric spit out some of his drink before slamming his cup back down. He then shoved another pawn forward to block Kyle's as he snapped, "Well well well Kyle, you've got yourself a point." He rolled his eyes, but then smirked and looked at Kyle maliciously. "I did call you that didn't I? Majestic? How'd that make you feel though, hmm?"

He perked his head up slightly, his eyes looking crazed as he muttered, "Your arch nemesis _grasping_ your dick and you releasing onto yourself all while I watched from overhead?" He then lowered his eyes and reached down to stroke the King piece suggestively. "You loved it, didn't you? Well, that much is obvious."

He brought his mug up again to take a sip before growling, "Because not even this white hot chocolate tastes as sweet as your _white hot cum_ did." He brought the cup back down, allowing a drop of the white substance to roll out of the corner of his mouth before knowingly wiping it away.

...

Kyle grimaced slightly, unable to ignore the obvious suggestion in Cartman's actions. Completely disgusting. _Is_ _there nothing he won't say? Or do?_

Regaining his cool, he moved one of his pawns to take the brunet's knight. He'd have to step it up if Cartman was going to play it like that. He couldn't just call him gross and change the subject, as much as he wanted to. "I did love it," he said quietly, moving his eyes up to meet Cartman's. "But you know what else I _loved_? The fact that you were so fucking hard for me and I didn't even have to touch you. It doesn't take much, does it? Or am I just that good?"

...

"You know you're that good. We _both_ know that," Eric agreed, daring to bring his queen piece out. "But who brought that out of you, Kyle?"

His voice grew to a lower timbre, the sound essentially reverberating off their little corner as he moved the queen dangerously close to Kyle's king. "Who gave you that fire which ignited you so _passionately_?" He dared to shift his hand over to grasp Kyle's. "I'm not willing to take all the credit of course, I like the fact that your personality calls for such… eccentricities but…" He grasped it harder, tracing his finger over one of Kyle's delicate bones before cupping the smaller hand into his palm possessively. "I know for a fact that if it wasn't for me…" Eric then moved his devious brown eyes off of their connecting hands to peer up at Kyle's. "You would have never known you were that _fucking_ good."

"Check," he added at the last second.

...

"Dude!" Kyle exclaimed, yanking his hand away from Cartman's. "What the Hell?"

He looked around the room quickly to make sure no one saw what just happened before looking back to glare at the larger boy. "You can't do that here," he whispered harshly. "We're in public, Cartman! Talk all you want but do NOT touch me."

He took a sip of his coffee, trying to seem as normal as possible to anyone who might glance over to their table.

"Let's just finish this," he muttered, putting his coffee down. He then moved his bishop one space to block Cartman's queen.

...

"Pussy," Eric jabbed as he killed the pawn in front of his own with his unmoved bishop. "I would have thought that someone like you wouldn't care about what other people thought." He rested his head on his hands and sneakily rubbed his foot against Kyle's leg. "I mean, you are confident in your choices, aren't you?"

...

"I don't know anymore," Kyle replied, moving his knight over to take down Cartman's bishop. "I still think I must be crazy for being here with you."

...

Eric noticed that Kyle didn't move his leg out of the way, so he continued to rub it. "Yeah you're crazy alright," Eric said as he backed up his other Bishop a space to avoid Kyle's knight.

"Crazy about me..." he joked, knowing he sounded corny as all hell.

...

"No, just crazy," Kyle said, smirking. He casually moved his bishop across the board to take down Cartman's queen before coyly looking up at the boy. Moving his leg over, he added, "I think _you're_ the one who's crazy for _me_."

...

Scoffing at the board, Eric nearly stepped on Kyle's foot as the Jew Princess so sassily carried off his dead queen. Gritting his teeth in rage, the brunet haphazardly carried his distant bishop to off one of Kyle's pawns. "Fucking queen killer… well I'm not crazy about you now!" he seethed, resisting the urge to throw the whole table over.

...

"_Now_ who's the one who needs to calm down?" Kyle asked silkily. He took the black queen in hand again and teasingly tapped it against his cheek in mock concentration. Then, smiling, he picked up his unmoved knight and moved it in front of one of his remaining pawns. "It's only a game, Cartman."

...

After shoving his rook over to defend his open King, Eric gazed up at Kyle, who was toying with his little prize. "Yeah yeah, it's only a game," he mocked, tapping his fingers on the table impatiently. "That's why you're mocking me with my lost queen..." Then he suddenly imagined that it was something else in Kyle's hand poking against his cheek.

...

Completely unaware of what was going through Cartman's head, Kyle continued to scan the board for moves he could make. There were a few things he could do that were risky and would take a couple turns to finish, but no surefire, quick checkmate that he could see.

"Was I mocking you? I'm so sorry," he said absently as he moved his first knight in front of the other boy's rook.

...

"Oh, don't act so fucking innocent," Eric argued as he happily killed Kyle's knight with the rook. "In a little while there will definitely be something else in your hand poking against your cheek." He grinned and leaned into the table, eying Kyle determinedly.

...

"Must you?" Kyle said with a sigh, though he couldn't keep himself from blushing. He knew Cartman had always lacked tact, but he still wasn't used to it being in such a sexual way. The good news, at least, was that Cartman had made the move he wanted him to, so he gladly moved his queen forward three spaces without making eye contact with the other boy.

...

"Don't pretend you don't like it," Eric combated, moving his rook all the way down to Kyle's side of the board. "How about this? Whoever wins the game gets to um, 'pay the tip'?" He raised his eyebrows suggestively as he kept firm eye contact with the Jew across the table.

...

Kyle smiled as he moved his queen all the way to the far corner of the board. "Check," he said, looking up to meet Cartman's eyes. "And, wouldn't it make more sense for the _loser_ to have to pay up?"

...

Eric's eyes widened and he quickly moved his King one space over diagonally. "That's what I meant, Jew," he grunted as he gripped onto the table apprehensively, growing slightly nervous about his own proposition. "I'm just… distracted." His temples started to bead with sweat against his will.

...

Smirking, Kyle picked up his unmoved bishop and brought it over to rest right next to his other one.

"Check," he said again, grinning devilishly at the brunet.

...

With his sweat very noticeable at that point, Eric hurried to carry his King to the space above his pawn as he choked, "On second thought, lets…" He gulped down a lump of anxiety and laughed to mask his fright. "Let's not let ourselves get carried away."

As soon as he finished that statement, his leg started to shake nervously under the table.

...

"You seem to be _awfully_ concerned about something, Cartman," Kyle said, trying to keep his expression serious. "What is it?"

He moved his queen over one space. "Check."

...

"Oh don't you start getting namby pamby with me, Jew!" Eric shouted as he hurriedly moved his King up a space. "I'll fucking wipe that smirk of your face!" He knew his threat was pathetic and he began to curse at himself internally. _FUCK, WHY DID I DECIDE TO PLAY AGAINST ONE OF THE SMARTEST KIDS IN THE CLASS AGAIN?_

...

"Namby pamby? What does that even _mean?_" Kyle asked as he moved his first bishop forward two spaces, taking out one of Cartman's pawns. "Check."

...

"SHUT UP!" Eric yelled out, essentially out of witty lines. He sheepishly moved his King directly next to one of his remaining pawns. "You're fucking loving this, I can tell!" He pointed to Kyle with an accusing finger.

...

"After what you've been putting me through the past month and a half?" Kyle asked before taking a sip of his almost-forgotten coffee. "Yeah, I rather like seeing you squirm."

He moved his queen over one space. "Check."

...

Eric moved his hand to hover over the board, but he knew that there were little to any spaces left for him to run to and the fact that Kyle had his queen wasn't a good sign for his hopeful victory.

However, right as he was about to make his next move, a familiar voice popped up from nearby, "Locked in a pretty tight game, huh? Who's winning?"

Eric swung his head around to see Kenny walking closer to them with this little knowing grin on his face. "I have a pretty good guess though… from the way _you_ look, fatboy," the blond said, kicking at Eric's chair slightly as he stood over the table

"And I was right," he commented, noticing that the black King was essentially cornered by Kyle's pieces. He placed a proud hand on Kyle's shoulder. "Nice going, Kyle… so, um…" He peered at both of them with pursed lips, taking a second to think about his next sentence.

"What are you guys doing back here?" he asked, furrowing his brow questioningly.

...

"Oh, um," Kyle said, putting every ounce of energy he had into not blushing. "I kind of tutored the fatass this semester, and he dragged me here in a lame attempt at thanking me."

He gently pushed the black queen on her side and rolled her halfway across the table. "Free coffee and a chance to kick his ass at chess… who am I to say no?"

...

Eric growled to himself not only because Kenny had kicked his chair, but because Kyle was STILL rubbing it in his face that he had captured his queen. "And Kyle's shown me SO MUCH appreciation for it let me tell you, Ken…" he said sarcastically as he grumpily leaned back into his chair. He continued to glare across the table at the coy little Jew, who was still fidgeting with that damn piece of plastic.

Obviously sensing something else going on here, Kenny took a step back and nodded. "Huh… tutoring you say?" he asked, looking to Kyle. "How's that going? He actually _wanted _help with his schoolwork? From _you_? Hard to believe that you agreed…"

...

Really not liking the way Kenny was looking at him, Kyle quickly stopped fidgeting with the chess piece. "Well I thought it would look good on college applications," he replied somewhat defensively. "I mean, what school would say reject someone who helped _him_ improve?"

...

"And is he improving?" Kenny asked, looking over to Eric rather suspiciously.

Eric sighed in relief once Kyle took his hand off the queen. "Yeah," he responded, peering up Kenny now that he felt a tad more relaxed. "Two A's in my history and methodology classes." He looked back at Kyle with a genuine smile. "And two B+'s in math and science."

"Wow!" Kenny exclaimed, eyes widening in bewilderment. "Didn't you fucking say you were almost failing those two?" He rested his hands on the table as he eyed down Eric with an expression of sheer shock.

"Yup," Eric closed his eyes and smiled boastfully. He then cracked them open ever so slightly to gaze at Kyle with a teasing expression. "Kyle is really just… _that good."_ He laughed to himself.

Kenny took one look at that look Eric was giving Kyle and immediately shifted his focus back to the redhead. "Huh!" he puffed, still wildly confused. "You… you really helped him, didn't you?"

...

"I guess so," Kyle said, tearing his eyes away from Cartman's to look up at Kenny. "I guess I just really know how to… get to him. Get _through_ to him, I mean."

...

Looking back at Eric's devilish expression, Kenny took another step away as he began to piece together what was really going on. _Ho-ly_…

"Oh! Okay!" he chirped, nodding to himself. "That… that makes sense. I mean…" He looked back to Kyle, who still wore an overtly calm expression. "If Cartman would pay attention to _anyone_ it would be…_you."_ He then looked back to the larger boy and added with a sheepish grin, "Congrats."

"Bye, Ken," Eric dismissed without taking his eyes off of Kyle for a second.

"Yeah, um…" Kenny darted his eyes back to Kyle with a concerned expression and brought his hand up to his ear to make a quick 'call me' gesture. "Bye," he called out unsurely before exiting the room in a rush.

...

The moment Kenny left, Kyle put his head in his hands. "Oh God, he knows," he groaned, making a quick mental note to get better at covering this up. "He fucking _knows_. We were so obvious it wasn't even funny. _Anyone_ could have seen through that act. Fuck."

He sighed and quickly began putting the chess pieces back into the bag they came from. "We should go. We've been here too long anyway."

...

Eric watched in confusion as Kyle dismantled their whole game. "Whoa, whoa, hold on!" he cried out, rushing to stop him. He grabbed onto Kyle's wrists and carried them closer to him. "Don't get so paranoid! It's just Kenny!" He laughed a bit, shaking his head. "And as you said this is 'nothing', right? If he says anything about it, just keep saying you're helping me!" Letting go of his Jew's wrists, Eric started to help gather up the chess pieces. "What's he going to do anyway?"

...

"Ask questions, tell people, act all concerned for my safety… I don't fucking know! It doesn't matter! I didn't want to go out in public but I went along with it and this is what happens," he said frantically. "I _told_ you. I told you I didn't want this. We should have just gone to your house and had coffee there. We could have played chess, even."

He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. It was bad enough when it was Craig and Tweek giving them weird looks. They barely knew them in the grand scheme of things. Kenny… Kenny had been a good friend to both of them for as long as he could remember. He could surely see right through their stupid act. And what if he told Stan something was up? Stan would come running in threatening Cartman and there would be a big scene and then Wendy would get involved and it would be a _total nightmare_.

_God fucking damn it_. "Can we leave? PLEASE?" he begged before realizing they were still in South Park. "Oh wait no, whatever, you can stay. I'll just walk home."

...

After throwing the bag of chess pieces back onto the window sill, Eric hurriedly threw on his black jacket and black cap as he desperately cried, "Kyle! For God's sake, calm down!" He resisted the urge to pull Kyle in closer to him as he also stood up.

"Kenny wouldn't do any of that stuff before talking to you first!" he assured, looking around to make sure no one else was watching before meekly grasping Kyle's hand. "You have nothing to worry about, I'll make _sure_ of it."

Then his eyes blackened and he added darkly, "Nothing will ruin this, NOTHING."

...

Kyle quickly took his hand out of Cartman's grasp. _You can't promise that_, he thought to himself.

"There's nothing to ruin," he said as he expertly regained his composure. "I just don't want people making a big deal."

Then he turned and made his way out of the coffee shop with Cartman trailing behind him.

...

Once outside, Eric noticed that Kyle was practically speed walking to the car to avoid attracting anyone else's attention. Seeing his Jew so bent out of shape because of this was really starting to wear at his nerves, so he exerted himself to catch up.

"Listen Kyle, I have **no** idea why you're going crazy over this," he stated, heading towards the car with the same pace as Kyle. "But it's really irritating because I know you like _being_ with me, but you're giving off this impression that you're not _man enough_ to admit it." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

"So _do it_," he pressed, narrowing his eyes to gaze down at his Jew. "Tell me that you enjoy being in this whatever-this-is with me."

...

Kyle had his hand on the car door's handle, but made no move to open it as he looked up at Cartman.

"I do," he said quietly. "I don't know why, but I do. I just… why can't you accept that I want to keep this secret? Don't you understand what will happen if people find out? The whole town will go up in flames and Stan and my mom will take turns killing you."

"Haven't you even considered that maybe I want to keep this between us _because_ I actually sort of like being with you?" he breathed, taking a small step closer to the larger boy. "Because fuck, Cartman, if you want to keep being able to see me you'd better _hope_ people don't find out. Have you no sense of foresight? If this gets around, my mom will literally do _whatever it takes_ to keep me away from you."

...

Hearing Kyle's response made unpleasant chills run up Eric's spine, but at the same time his heart did amazing flips when he heard his Jew actually admit that he liked being with him and _wanted_ this thing to continue. With a sad smile, Eric took one step to close the space in between him and his precious redhead, backing Kyle up against the car.

"I have an amazing sense of foresight Kyle," he informed. He didn't want to reveal the truth behind Butters' NYU claim, but he still want to comfort his Jew, so he lowered his head to brush his lips over Kyle's. "Just know that I will do _anything_ to protect what we have." He ended his promise with a small kiss before walking around to the driver's seat. "Let's go home."

...

Kyle only nodded in response before turning to open the car door. Once they were both settled in and Cartman started the car, he realized that this whatever-it-was just became something that certainly wasn't _nothing_. He wished he could maintain the same level of detachment in real life as he could while they were playing chess. But, that was just a game. And he was very good at escapism. But this was real life, and in real life he was terrible at watching his mouth when it came to his emotions. And he couldn't take back what he just said.

As they drove, he looked at Cartman. It was strange that this person, who had devoted years of his life to destroying Kyle, was now vowing not to let anything get between them. He knew he shouldn't feel safe with this boy, and most of the time he didn't, not entirely. But at that moment he did.

"Happy birthday, by the way," he said after a minute or two, realizing that it was the day before.

...

Eric actually perked up at that comment, remembering last night when his mom cooked his favorite meal and gave him a large sum of cash. "Right. That was yesterday… Thanks Kyle… but you could have _called me_ you know…" he teased. "but don't worry about it, seventeen's not that eventful anyway. Next year's the BIG year." He relaxed into his seat as he placed his hand on Kyle's leg to stroke it once. "That's when I'll throw a party or… something," he puffed as he turned onto Kyle's street. "Invite all two of my friends."

...

"What, no ridiculously huge party and present assignments for everyone at school?" Kyle joked. "So that must mean… either you're losing your touch or your mom finally learned to tell you to fuck off. I hope it's the latter. You were always such a brat to her."

...

"Yeah, once I realized she wasn't as much of a bitch as _yours_ I backed off some…" Eric jabbed back, stopping in front of Kyle's house. "Anyway… so, um…" He anxiously tapped his fingers against his steering wheel.

"Thanks for agreeing to come out with me tonight," he laughed nervously. "Best birthday present ever…"

...

"Hmm, if I had known this was a birthday thing, I would have let you win the chess game," Kyle teased as he looked toward his house to see if anyone was hovering by any windows.

When it seemed like the coast was clear, he quickly turned around and leaned over to kiss the brunet – though it ended almost as fast as it started, as lingering meant a greater chance of discovery. Then, mumbling a quick goodbye, he opened the door to get out of the car.

...

As soon as Kyle hinted to what he _thought_ he hinted to, Eric turned his head around excitingly to catch Kyle's quick kiss. But he barely got his tongue in before the Jew broke off with a nearly non-existent good bye.

As he watched Kyle slam the door and run up to his house, Eric suddenly felt a different kind of warmth invade his heart. He thought he had "loved" Kyle before, but now he realized that his previous brand of "love" wasn't really… real. It was just, _possessiveness_; his obsession _telling _him that he loved Kyle.

Because as he watched Kyle open his front door, making sure to shoot Eric a quick teasing glance before closing it behind him, he felt something he had never felt before. Something so amazing, so thrilling, so unbelievably wonderful that he knew that it could only be one thing… and Eric wasn't quite ready to truly and honestly place that feeling without knowing Kyle felt the same way.

…

**A/N:** Yayyy! Seriously, I hope you guys loved this chapter, because we LITERALLY played chess online to make that game real. None of the moves were planned out, it just happened to work out *perfectly*. So much love for this chapter, omg. So hopefully you all loved it too! :D


	11. July 4th

**A/N:** Back to updating weekly, since fanfiction is not being a jerk anymore! Yay!

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Eleven – Sunday, July 4th

Despite their ever so successful date, it had actually been a couple of days since Eric and Kyle had spoken. Kyle insisted that he get back to hanging out with Stan as per usual to make sure that nothing seemed awry, which was fine, but Eric hadn't realized that would mean two days of NO CONTACT.

Stan was such a douche. Eric was pretty sure he must have Wendy over at the same time as Kyle, since she probably bitched at him for spending more time with his 'super best friend' than her. Well, that wouldn't be a problem for very long, seeing as Eric was determined to have Kyle over as much as possible.

So when Kyle finally decided to see Eric again, the brunet essentially threw a party over it with his Jew's favorite snacks, drinks, and even a _freshly made bed_.

But they weren't on the bed now, because Eric just found out that Kyle was unaware of some of his favorite Xbox games and that needed to be remedied AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

"I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU, JEW!" Eric exclaimed as he set up his system in the living room, with Kyle sitting comfortably on the couch watching. "I mean, you were just going to go to college with no knowledge of the most recent Xbox games? THEY WOULD HAVE TORN YOU APART!" He powered it up, taking his favorite game out. "So okay, this game is called 'Bioshock' and it's like, the BEST GAME ever made."

...

Kyle smirked from his position on the couch, watching the back of Cartman's head as he put the game in. Cartman had been so keen on acting like a gentleman during their time together (or, as much of a gentleman as the brunet could be), that Kyle had kind of forgotten that he was just… a guy. A typical teenager who played video games more often than he studied and yelled at the screen as if it would help him win.

Unfortunately for Cartman, though, Kyle had kind of lost interest in video games over the years. He just didn't have much time for them and when he _did _have time, he usually preferred to read, and he really didn't like first person shooters at all. Apparently this was some form of blasphemy, judging by the way Cartman kept shooting him incredulous looks.

"Not everyone at college is going to hole themselves up in their dorm rooms to play Xbox twenty-four seven," he said. "NYU isn't some crappy state school where no one cares."

...

"REGARDLESS of what kind of school NYU is, you have to AT LEAST know your way around some of the more popular ones in case it comes up," Eric defended as he took his wireless controller and sat next to Kyle on the couch. "You don't want to look like a recluse, even if you are one." He shot his Jew a teasing glance before rustling up his hair.

"SO THIS is Bioshock," Eric said, leaning against Kyle as he started to show him some of the levels. "It takes place in an underwater city called 'Rapture' after World War II and it's led by a guy who thinks that people shouldn't be controlled by governments or ethics or religion." His eyes started to expand in jollity as he moved his character to slice one of the enemies head's off. "So it's like an anarchical society… but it's a STRUCTURED anarchy… for a while. BUT THEN the scientists find this sea slug, right?" He pointed one of them out on the screen. "WITH POWERS that can SPLICE HUMAN DNA TO GIVE THEM SUPER POWERS!"

Eric enthusiastically peered down with his mouth agape with excitement – only to meet Kyle's apparent disinterest.

Calming down significantly, Eric tried not to let that disappoint him as he continued to roam the game until he found one of the little sisters. "So they harness the power in these demented little girls… for some reason, and then when the place goes up in smoke the little girls like… go around and extract like… power from dead corpses of people who used the sea slugs and these HUGE ROBOTS called Big Daddies protect them!" he exclaimed as he started to fight one of the Bouncers.

As soon as he beat it, he morbidly made his character extract the sea slug out of the little sister as he cried excitedly, "IT'S THE COOLEST GAME EVER!" He leaned into Kyle again, hoping he would reciprocate his love of the game.

...

"I'll just… watch you play," Kyle said uncertainly, not understanding what was going on in the slightest. But it was funny to see Cartman so excited about something that didn't have to do with genocide or hurting individuals in _real_ life.

...

Eric looked quite disgruntled at Kyle's dormancy as he nudged, "Well I mean, in Bioshock 2 there's a competitive mode… and um, you could go against me if you want…" He smirked and rolled his eyes slightly. "Because I know how much you _love_ rubbing it in my face when you think you're 'winning'." He perked an eyebrow suggestively just as the Big Daddy on screen drilled a hole into one of the Splicers.

...

"I do like to win," Kyle said thoughtfully. "Which is why I won't be playing any Xbox games against you any time soon."

He then smiled to himself, an idea coming to mind. "Though, as much as I like to win," he said quietly, his right hand slowly moving over to rest on Cartman's thigh. "I like seeing you lose even more."

Tilting his chin up, he leaned in to whisper in Cartman's ear, "I wonder how easily I can distract you into getting your character killed."

...

_Oh ho ho, BITCH THAT WAS A CHALLENGE!_

"Is that a _challenge,_ Kyle?" Eric asked calmly, but he felt jubilant as all hell when Kyle's hand crept onto his lap. Knowing that to look off of the screen for a second could mean certain death, Eric determinedly kept his eyes on the game as he tried to control both himself and his character. "_Bring it_."

...

Suddenly this video game just got interesting.

Mentally patting himself on the back for his cleverness, Kyle moved to start planting kisses on the brunet's neck. He left a trail up the side of Cartman's neck, eventually lightly nipping at his earlobe as he moved his hand very slowly toward the boy's crotch.

...

FUCK this was getting hard already… as was his _dick_. Eric tried incredibly hard to keep his focus on the game but… God, every time Kyle placed a little hot kiss on his neck it made him shudder, which made the remote jolt… which caused his character to stall. But despite all that, Eric was actually able to keep his eyes on the game before - _HNNNG_ - the earlobe!

Kyle was fucking nipping on it and Eric could _hear_ his hot breath – not just feel it! That in turn made Eric start to breathe quicker, and he quickly made his character run behind a barrel to avoid any monsters _just in time_ to feel his Jew's hand make his way to his zipper.

Eric hissed, squinting his eyes to make sure his character was in a safe place before quickly turning to attack Kyle's deviant mouth. He brought the sneaky redhead in closer while keeping enough space in between them to allow him to continue what he started.

...

Kyle laughed into Cartman's mouth before breaking the kiss. "No, that's not how this works," he said slyly, moving his hand, which had been centimeters from the other boy's fly, to gesture at the television. "You have to keep playing the game."

...

_Oh he did not just say that._ "FUCK THAT SHIT!" Eric yelled down with his eyes flaring up. "You didn't include that in the first set of rules! You can't just keep tacking on things so that YOU can win!" He knew that he cheated but was too much of a sore loser to admit it. He gritted his teeth as his glazed over, hollow look focused on the screen.

"FINE! I'll keep playing! I can fucking do this, you Jewtease, YOU'LL SEE!" he essentially screamed, some of his brown hair falling in front of his face in random strings as he tensed considerably.

...

_So worked up already_, Kyle thought, entirely amused by the whole situation.

"I _believe_ I specified that the plan was to kill your character," Kyle said, planting a kiss on Cartman's jaw. "Hiding behind some barrels is totally cheating. I didn't add any rules."

His hand moved back to the brunet's pants, but teasingly passed over his crotch to slip under his shirt. His fingers lightly brushed the skin just above Cartman's jeans as he smiled playfully into his neck. "I think I'm winning without _having_ to cheat, don't you?"

...

Feeling Kyle's hand graze over his crotch to finger the hem of his jeans nearly made Eric drop the controller, but he just mumbled, "No, you're cheating alright." He then reluctantly moved his character out from the barrels right into a group of enemies. "Because I have to fight two battles and all YOU have to do sit there and be the little sassy sexy Jew Pri-_ck_ you are!" He stopped himself from saying the P word, not wanting to get into an argument just as he started to haphazardly incinerate a group of Houdini Splicers.

...

Oh, Kyle knew what was about to come out of Cartman's mouth – and he was rather impressed that the brunet was able to stop himself from spouting off his new favorite nickname. Smirking, Kyle dipped his fingers into the front of Cartman's jeans for a tiny moment before pulling out to undo the button and zipper.

"I'm surprised you're still alive; I was sure you'd be dead by now," he spoke softly against Cartman's neck, purposefully egging him on. His fingers brushed the hem of the larger boy's boxers. "You have a remarkable level of self control, despite all your complaining. Or maybe I just need to up my game. What do you think?"

...

"God damn you… God damn you to hell…" Eric croaked as his eyes started to water at the corners from staring ahead so intently. He could feel Kyle's breath on his neck as his zipper slowly started to be pulled down and the thrill of it was making his insides SCREAM… but all the while he knew that he HAD to beat this, he HAD to. Eric nearly lost the chess game the other day and he couldn't give Kyle the impression that he could win so easily! So despite the fact that his body was telling him to QUIT THE GAME AND POUNCE ON THAT FUCKER, his mind struggled to regain control and he continued to play.

"I think you should shut the hell up and let me prove to you that I'm no fucking pushover…" he muttered through exasperated breaths, all the while yelling at himself internally, _LIES. LIES. LIES. HIS HAND IS ON YOUR FUCKING BOXERS_ _Oh God_. Eric was actually happy he had a distraction to keep him from looking so fucking pathetic.

...

"Oh, but if I shut up that would give you an unfair advantage," Kyle said smugly, his palm now pressed lightly against Cartman's stomach. "And you wouldn't prove anything _that_ way."

He brought his other hand up behind Cartman's head to run his fingers through his soft brown hair. "Tell me… how badly do you want to throw that controller on the floor and attack me right now?"

...

"Oh God…" Eric moaned as he leaned his head back into Kyle's hand… Taking deep breaths, the brunet bit his lower lip and tried to block out Kyle's sultry voice – but he was having a full on battle not only inside the game but inside his head as well. "Kyle… I want to not only throw the controller on the ground, but _you_ as well."

He unleashed his pent up rage on a Big Daddy before continuing in his low tenor voice, "I want to grab your hips, pull your against me and DEVOUR your small little neck until it's DECORATED with angry red bite marks… I want to throw your shirt off and nip at those perky little nipples of yours while you BEG for me to jack you off again, but…" Eric laughed, stabbing the Big Daddy as he shifted his hazed eyes to his devious redhead. "I'm not going to do it because you're SUCH A LITTLE TEASE."

...

"You always did have an over-active imagination," Kyle chuckled, absolutely loving the effect his little game was having. His hand slid back down to the hem of Cartman's boxers, fingers sliding just underneath the waistband. "But I don't think I'll be the one begging today."

...

"What do you want, Kyle? **What do you WANT!" **Eric essentially screamed once he felt Kyle's hand dip underneath the hem of his boxers. "You want me to beg? Huh? Well FAT CHANCE!" He was trying to sound tough and intimidating but was honestly just coming across as desperate and laughably weak. "You're all high and mighty right now because I HAPPEN TO THINK you're the SEXIEST THING ALIVE but no, NOT TODAY." He leaned back into the sofa, seeing Kyle's devilish green eyes in his peripheral vision. "_TODAY – I AM BEATING YOU. AND YOU'LL PAY FOR IT_…"

He tilted his head down to pathetically keep his eyes on the game as he mumbled, "Oh ho ho, _you'll pay_…"

...

"And how am I going to pay?" Kyle asked, barely able to contain himself he was having so much _fucking fun_ with this. He pulled his hand away, placing it back in its starting position on Cartman's thigh.

...

"FUCK!" Eric yelled as he bucked forward slightly and nearly crushed the controller in his hand. "Why are you doing this?" He sounded like he was on the verge of tears as his character entered a new room full of enemies. "Oh I know, you LOVE this, don't you?"

He sawed off the head of a Thuggish Splicer before growling, "You LOVE to see me SO FUCKING BENT OUT OF SHAPE over you." Still leaning into the couch, he swung his head back so that his hair was somewhat back in place. "You're MASSIVE EGO just LOVES TO BE STROKED because I FREAK OUT whenever I see those..." He shifted his eyes over to briefly take in Kyle's emerald orbs. "Uhhhh…" He moaned as he furrowed his brow in rage. "Fucking eyes of yours…"

...

"Jesus, Cartman, I was just trying to have a little fun!" Kyle said, surprised at Cartman's increasing rage. Taking his hands off the brunet, he moved over to the other end of the couch. Then he slouched down and crossed his arms, glaring angrily at the TV. "There's no reason to be a dick about it. Just play your fucking game."

...

"Wai…Wha? NO!" Eric exclaimed as he quickly threw the remote to the ground, a team of splicers pilling onto him immediately. "You… you've got it wrong I... I'm not angry!" He desperately moved over to his Jew and took his hand. "I mean… I'm just… I just don't take well to prolonged gratification… You're just so good at pressing my buttons! You know EXACTLY what to say to get me going and… I just couldn't take it anymore that's all…"

He leaned down to nuzzle against Kyle's chest. "I'm… I' m sorry for getting worked up. I'm pathetic I know… I've just been _waiting_ for so long!" he pleaded, actually feeling like a jerk as he embarrassedly hid his face in Kyle's shirt.

...

"Ugh, get up," Kyle said, awkwardly pushing Cartman off of him. "It's not that big of a deal…"

Once they were facing each other, Kyle wasn't sure what to say. He didn't know how to handle Cartman's sudden mood change, and felt guilty about snapping at him for not reciprocating his teasing advances. Especially since he _had_ at first and Kyle basically told him not to.

"I just… thought you'd like it, that's all," he said after a moment, feeling a flush creep into cheeks. "You always play games with me and I just thought, I dunno, that I'd play too, I guess. Sorry."

...

Eric started to breath freely again as a smile stretched across his face. "What are you talking about?" he cheered, reaching out to hold Kyle's shoulders. "**I loved it**!" He lowered his eyes slightly as he shook his head. "You're just not used to playing this game, are you?" He was almost positive that his Jew was still new to the whole… rage sex idea. "You don't stop when I get that way you KEEP GOING! You almost **broke me down**…" Blushing terribly as he realized what he just revealed. "….To want more! Teasing! That is…" He smiled sheepishly, hoping Kyle would buy that.

...

"Oh… sorry," Kyle apologized again. "I guess I kind of… misunderstood the whole… yelling and telling me to shut up thing."

He felt stupid now that he knew Cartman was only baiting him… playing a mind game just like he was. Kyle thought he was legitimately mad at him for trying to distract him from the video game. He felt like such an idiot.

But there was time to fix it. He could come back from this; make it seem like this was all part of the plan. So, he composed himself and shot Cartman a sly grin. "I guess this means I won, though," he said. "You're dead. Who knew a _Jew Princess_ tantrum would be what finally got to you… hmm?"

...

Glancing at the television and then back at Kyle, Eric felt his arousal hit him again at full force as he stared longingly into his sassy Jew Princess' eyes. "Well well well, Kyle… it looks like you did win…"

But then he remembered what that would mean for HIM.

"Oh, um…" Eric shifted around nervously before reaching up to scratch the back of his head. "Congrats! So, what game are we going to do next?" He cracked an unconvincing smile, trying to divert the conversation from his 'loss'. "I've got Red Dead Redemption, Arkham Asylum, Grand Theft Auto-"

...

"Really? You want to play video games still? _After all that_?" Kyle asked, feeling as though he'd failed completely. How could Cartman call him sexy and all of that crap and then just want to go back to playing with his stupid fucking Xbox? Fucking asshole made no fucking sense.

No, he wasn't going let that happen.

"I have a better idea," he said, quickly moving to push Cartman onto his back. He crawled on top of the boy, smirking down at him when he was comfortably straddling him. He could feel that Cartman was still hard – so the Xbox thing _must_ have been a ruse. Good.

Feeling as though he had some power back, he rocked his hips against the other boy's. Then, as he slid his hands up Cartman's chest, he bent down so that his lips hovered just above the brunet's. "What are you afraid of?" he breathed. "I thought I was supposed to be the unsure one."

...

Eric didn't expect this. Oh he didn't expect this at all! Kyle was the one calling _him_ scared now? Where did things go wrong? _Or wait… _Eric thought for a second. Kyle was climbing onto him, looking at him as though he wanted to eat him alive, practically _egging him on_ to progress further...

When did things get so incredibly _right_?

Smiling intently up at Kyle's frisky expression, he leaned in to hum against his lips. "Oh, I don't know Kyle! Why am I so afraid?" He brought his hands down to stroke Kyle's hips.

"I guess everything seemed so perfect for me and all of a sudden _you're _winning the games now!" he complimented, intentionally stroking Kyle's ego as he rode into the smirking Jew. "I guess everything backfired and…" His expression turned malicious as he snuck his hand around to stroke his thumb alongside the length of the bulge in Kyle's pants. "I'm just going to have to _try harder_."

...

Kyle closed the small space between their lips with a hungry kiss, bucking his hips into Cartman's touch. "Yeah, try harder," he said as he pulled away, now looking directly into those mischievous brown eyes. "It would get boring if you always just let me win."

Smiling, he bent down again to resume their kiss, carefully biting at Cartman's lower lip.

...

_Good Jew,_ Eric thought as he grinned into the kiss, not wasting a second before walking his fingers up to the button of Kyle's jeans to hastily pop it open. He brought down the zipper in one fast tug as he gently broke the kiss to bring his head up to Kyle's ear. "_Bring yourself closer into my waist, I wanna try something_." He let out chuckle, still working to free Kyle's growing erection.

...

Kyle unthinkingly did as he was told, scooting up just a bit although he was unsure about what Cartman was thinking. But, _fuck it_, what mattered right now was that both of their flies were open and he liked the way Cartman was looking at him.

...

"Good, _good_ Jew…" Eric praised as he grasped onto what he was looking for, giving it a teasing squeeze before he brought it out into the open. "Now…I think…" He released Kyle's cock to grab at his own boxers, coaxing out his own pulsing arousal while flicking Kyle's earlobe with his tongue. "It's about time that we…hm." He paused with a laugh, using his other hand to grab Kyle's collar to bring him in even closer to his face. "_Both _share a victory."

Locking lips in a firm kiss with his heated redhead, Eric quickly tugged Kyle's dick closer to his own as he wrapped his meaty hand around _both_ of their throbbing erections.

...

Kyle released a strangled moan into Cartman's mouth, not at all expecting him to do what he just did. He fisted the fabric of Cartman's shirt, bracing himself as a wave of pleasure ran through him. _Oh God, they're… touching… Oh God, oh God. _He thrust into the brunet's hand, reveling in the feeling of rubbing against his hand _and_ his dick – _oh_ Jesus Christ.

He broke the kiss, daring to look down. He couldn't help but noticed that Cartman's dick was thicker than his, which caused him to blush even more. Reclaiming the other boy's lips as he let out another moan, he decided that this was much, _much_ better than Xbox.

...

"Yeah keep moving like that, Kyle…" Eric hummed against Kyle's moaning mouth as he stirred the fire igniting his overwhelmed Jew. Beginning to stroke their erections simultaneously, the brunet relaxed considerably as he focused all of his attention on their rubbing cocks. The pulsing veins lining their shafts were actually touching each other, beating against each other as their pulses synchronized perfectly due to the rhythm Eric was establishing. He noticed Kyle was absolutely gone by that point and he could probably say or do _anything _because – he smirked – _he had him in the palm of his hand_.

"You feel that?" Eric nudged, feeling a bit of Kyle's slick precum drip down onto his own dick as he thumbed their heads. "I bet you've never felt anything that good in your whole life, have you Kyle?"

He nuzzled into Kyle's flustered face as he growled, "I'm the only one who could make you feel this way, aren't I?"

...

"_God, yes_," Kyle moaned, his head dropping onto Cartman's shoulder. His whole body was shaking and he began planting desperate kisses on the brunet's neck. The pleasure was almost unbearable, but he didn't want to let Cartman win by coming first. His bucking hips were betraying him, though – his body seemed to have taken on a mind of its own, emboldened by Cartman's encouragement. _Can't – finish. Not now not yet not yet not yet._

...

"Look at how good you're being, Jew!" Eric teased, his palm slicked with precum. "You're giving _more than enough _lubricant to make this whole experience _terribly _arousing."

He bit onto Kyle's earlobe. "By the way it's twitching against me, I think you're almost ready aren't you?" he coaxed, desperately wanting Kyle to release before him. "You don't have to worry, Kyle… it's okay, _I'll help_." He suddenly moved his head to bite down on Kyle's neck, increasing the speed of his pumps as he felt his own precum leak out.

...

Kyle groaned and arched his back. "Don't… fucking… patronize me," he panted, digging his fingers into Cartman's chest as hard as he could. Fuck that asshole, telling him he was being good, like he was a fucking dog. _But – God damn it – this feels so incredible._

Much to his dismay – and his body's relief – it only took a few more strokes for him to release onto Cartman's shirt. He shuddered and used the brunet's shoulder to muffle the strangled cry that escaped him.

...

Feeling Kyle release against his dick caused Eric to approach his own climax as he hungrily brought his Jew in closer to his chest.

"Oh don't bust a nut," Eric joked, laughing while at the same time seething at how _deliciously _painful Kyle's fingers felt digging into his chest. "I'm coming right behind you Jewface." He pressed his mouth against Kyle's as he moaned his release and scrunched up his brow, feeling his spend shoot down onto the same places Kyle's landed.

Then as soon as it started, it unfortunately ended, and the next thing Eric knew he was breathing heavily against Kyle's blushing face as he took in what the fuck just happened.

...

Kyle sighed and kissed Cartman once before turning to bury his face in the larger boy's shoulder. "… Fuck," he mumbled into the fabric of Cartman's shirt. "What the fuck."

...

Eric didn't want to let Kyle get away so easily, so putting on a weak but content smile, he brought up a hand to gently cup the Jew's cheek. Bringing his head up slightly so that he could look into his eyes, he said, "You're amazing, you know that?" He shook his head, his smile becoming a tad brighter as he leaned forward to press their foreheads together. "Nothing has ever looked so appealing to me as your _precious face_ when you realized that our _dicks_ were actually touching." He started to laugh, sealing the space in between their faces by initiating a rather passionate kiss.

...

Blushing profusely, Kyle returned the kiss, intertwining his tongue with Cartman's. God, the way Cartman kissed him – like it was a matter of life or death – was enough to get him going all over again. He hummed into the brunet's mouth, hands moving to thread through his hair.

But after a minute, he forced himself to pull away. "You should… um, clean up," he suggested, quickly glancing down at Cartman's shirt before tucking himself back in and zipping up his pants.

...

"Or…" Eric dared to bring one of his hands up to gather a streak of _both_ of their cum onto his finger, carrying it up to his mouth to lick it off before grabbing Kyle's shirt to bring him back closer into him. "_You could_…" He then _forcefully _kissed Kyle to smear their cum onto his resistant tongue.

...

"Ugh sick!" Kyle spluttered as he pulled away. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He roughly pushed himself off of Cartman and stood up, glaring down at the boy. "Clean up however you want," he said somewhat mockingly. "But don't bring _me_ into it!"

...

"What, you didn't taste yourself and how _sweet_ you are?" Eric inadvertently complimented, as he daring to take another swab off his shirt.

"Come on, try again," he insisted, teasingly bringing his finger up to Kyle's face. "It'll be a bonding experience… come on." He was only trying to sugarcoat his desire to have Kyle lick his own cum off his finger. He did have a thing for… _new foods_…

...

"You're so fucking disgusting it isn't even funny," Kyle said irritably as he shoved Cartman's offending hand away from him. "Seriously, stop it or I'll kill you. This isn't funny, it's gross."

...

"Why the hate?" Eric asked as he brought his hand back down, giving Kyle an incredulous look. "It's not like this is all _my_ cum…" Then a devilish idea came to mind and he tried to mask a wicked smile. "Besides! It's not like you're man enough to do it anyway."

"Such a Jew Princess… acting like a sissy brat about a little _protein,"_ he scoffed, playing with the glob in between his fingers.

...

"I'm not acting like a brat!" Kyle said, though he knew he was. "It's not what it _is_, it's how you're acting about it! Saying gross shit like you're so funny. And dude, you _forced _me to taste it to begin with, no warning or anything. Not cool. So I'm not doing it now."

"Maybe next time," he added, watching with distaste written all over his face as Cartman essentially played with the glob of cum. "If you don't act like such a twelve year old about it."

...

Eric narrowed his eyes as he wiped off his hand on his already messed up shirt. "Yeah yeah, _a twelve year old_." He shifted around on the couch as he brought his shirt over his head. "I'm pretty sure a twelve year old wouldn't know how to do the things I do to… you know, _get you off__**." **_He crumpled the messed up shirt up in a ball to throw it across the room.

"Come back, Jew, there's no more 'gross' cum to scare you now," he teased, invitingly lying back on the couch with his bare torso, not even caring that his fly was still undone.

...

"… You're such an asshole," Kyle said, walking back to the couch to join Cartman. Once he was settled in, he tilted his chin up to look at the other boy. "I'm just saying… don't make me do shit without giving me an option to say no. That's all. Even something as stupid as that. And I know it's stupid... sorry I freaked out. It just surprised me. And... yeah, kinda grossed me out too."

...

That sentence really got to Eric for some reason, seeing how serious Kyle seemed when he requested that Eric not 'make him do shit without giving him an option to say no'. He couldn't count the number of fantasies he had about doing things to Kyle without his consent. So to hear Kyle say that to him, as though he would listen, as though he – dare he think it – _trusted_ him? It actually caused him to chill out significantly, and it forced him to reflect upon what he was _really_ doing here. With the plan he had to sneak to NYU, his plan to… get Kyle to…

He bit his lower lip… _to get Kyle to do what?_

Protectively bringing his precious Jew closer to him, Eric nuzzled against him longingly as his attitude did a one-eighty. "I understand, Kyle," he assured, closing his eyes for a moment. "I promise, from now on, if you don't like what I'm doing _please_ –" He opened his eyes to stare at Kyle. "Tell me to stop."

...

"Oh I plan on it," Kyle said, smiling now that Cartman was apparently over the whole… cum thing. "Let's just hope you don't do anything I don't like."

...

"Well…" Eric gained back some of his feistiness as he nipped at his Jew's cheek. "I do have other ideas in mind…" he quipped, gazing at Kyle with his mischievous mahogany eyes. "So try to not be a _stuck up prude _about them."

...

"I'll give it my best shot," Kyle replied half-heartedly, trying to stifle a yawn. 

...

"Jesus Christ, Kyle… you really can't survive after one go?" Eric teased, reaching up to grab the blanket off the back of the couch to cover both of them. "Jews have no stamina, let me tell you…" He playfully pecked Kyle's temple before snuggling into the cushions below, his arms still wrapped around his Jew.

...

"Shut up," Kyle mumbled sleepily into Cartman's chest. "S'not my fault you're so comfortable."

...

Feeling his nerves tingling at how cute Kyle was – so vulnerable and tired as he dozed off on his chest – Eric waited a couple of minutes before poking at the sleeping Jew to make sure he was really asleep.

"_Dear God I really do love you, don't I_?" he whispered.

…

**A/N:** Hahahaha, a nice break from the drama, amirite? :D


	12. July 11th: Part One

**A/N:** Sometimes you just get so tired of drama that you write multiple chapters in a row that are super lulzy. This chapter resulted from one of those times.

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Twelve – Sunday, July 11th

"…. I can't believe we're doing this," Kyle muttered as he looked out of the passenger side window of Cartman's car.

It was official. He had gone completely insane and needed a lobotomy as soon as humanly possible. He'd finally had his long time coming mental breakdown. He must have, because there was really no other reason why he would ever have agreed to go to the fucking _Park County fair _with one Eric Cartman. A fair. Outside. In public. With games and rides. And couples on dates. People they _knew_. People who wouldn't be able to just dismiss the fact that they were at a fucking county fair _together_. A coffee house? Sure, they could explain that away. But a FAIR?

He leaned his forehead against the glass and let out an exasperated sigh. He was doomed. Completely doomed.

Now would be a good time to have an invisibility cloak, he decided. Wishful thinking at its finest.

Because, fuck, they were _bound_ to run into people. How would he explain _this_ to Kenny? Unlike the coffee shop, he couldn't exactly pretend this had anything to do with tutoring. What if Stan was there? He hadn't told Stan _anything_ about _anything_ that was going on, not even the tutoring. God, what if his _parents_ showed up and saw him with Cartman? There was no one his mother hated more. Absolutely no one. She'd throw a veritable _fit._

Not only that, but he was pretty sure that there was abso-fucking-lutely _nothing_ cornier than going to a fair on a date. What were they supposed to do? Go on the ferris wheel, share cotton candy, and win prizes for each other? He felt like puking from the thought of it. The sheer corniness of what they were about to do was just sickening. _Sickening_.

"I just can't believe it," he repeated solemnly as they neared the fairground.

...

"I know right? It's finally back!" Eric exclaimed from the driver's seat, misunderstanding Kyle's statement. "Oh God, I know EXACTLY where I'm going first, too! I'm going to get that one stand's funnel cake because GOD it's great!" To Eric this was going to be the perfect date - because not only was it a fair with his favorite foods and activities, but it also gave him a good chance to show off his new arm candy. And if Kyle bitched about people seeing them together? As he said before, they could either tell them to piss off (which he would like to do) or say what _Kyle_ would rather say - that they 'were waiting for people'.

"There's like fifty things I want to do. Damn Kyle I bet you've never done fairs like I do - so get ready to be BLOWN AWAY," he bragged, leaning back into his chair as he gave Kyle a proud smile.

...

_Oh, yeah_, Kyle thought to himself. _That's why I agreed to this_.

Cartman was almost _too_ excited about the fair, and his enthusiasm was surprisingly hard to say no to. Kyle had gotten suckered into this idea because Cartman practically shat himself with joy when he remembered the county fair was this week, and he'd been trying to convince Kyle to go ever since. Now it was Sunday, the last day, and Kyle would have felt bad if Cartman never went just because _he_ didn't want to go… so he finally said ok.

But now he was regretting that decision. All of the joy and excitement in the world on Cartman's part couldn't get Kyle to believe this was going to end well. At all.

"Ok… we'll go to the funnel cake place," he said, though he was sure one bite of that disgusting pile of shit would probably kill him. "And like, one ride maybe. But then can we go? I don't want to be here all day."

...

"One ride? Are you kidding me?" Eric exclaimed as he pulled into the parking lot, impatiently squeezing into a spot near the front before turning off the engine in a flash.

"You're such a boner-killer Kyle, I mean… what do you expect to get out one dish of funnel cake and one mother fucking ride?" he asked incredulously, peering down at his Jew like he didn't even know him. "You know what? One of the things I want you to get out of this relationship is to learn how to have some mother fucking fun." He laughed and brought up his hand up to tousle Kyle's red locks. "There's another 'life lesson' for you…"

...

"Fuck you," Kyle said, reaching up to put his hair back into place. "I know how to have fun. In _certain situations_, anyway."

He gave Cartman a provocative look, reminding him of what a simple afternoon of playing Xbox had turned into earlier in the week.

"I'm serious, though," he added, face growing serious again. "It's dangerous enough being here as it is. The less time we spend here, the better. And _don't_ touch me while we're in there. _At all_. Ok?"

...

"_Certain situations_…" Eric rolled his eyes and pocketed his keys before returning the riled look, but then did a double take when he realized what Kyle had said. "Wait…" He hesitantly reached over to open the door.

"What do you mean _no touching_? Like not a hand hold, not a hair tousle, not a shoulder bump, _nothing_?" he asked, looking quite disappointed as he stepped out of the car. "Or I just can't stick my tongue down your throat?"

...

Kyle sighed and got out of the car, slamming the door shut behind him. "_Nothing_," he said firmly. "_Especially_ not that last one."

...

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Eric joined Kyle's side as they approached the entrance. "Will there ever be a point where you're actually going to be comfortable, you know, 'being with me'?" he asked impatiently, shoving his hands in his pockets and looking dead ahead. "If you haven't noticed, I've been on my best behavior and have not done anything to warrant public disapproval in the last month or so since we started to hang out… I'm pretty sure no one here will even fucking _notice_ that we're together." He was almost positive about that last statement's truth.

...

"Wait, stop," Kyle said, briefly grabbing Cartman's sleeve to get the brunet to look at him. "I told you, it's not that. I _am_ comfortable when I'm with you, though only God knows why. It's _them_. We don't know who's in there and maybe not everyone will care, but people that we know _will_ notice. And some _will_ care. And it won't be a happy kind of caring."

He bit his lip and shoved his own hands in his pockets. "You seem to think we live in some kind of fantasy world, where everything will work out and people will cheer for us. It's not like that, though," he said quietly, looking at Cartman as if he was pleading with him to understand. "_I_ know you've been on your best behavior. But you've done a lot of shitty things to a lot of people in the past. I just don't want any drama, ok?"

...

Giving off a dissatisfied grunt, Eric closed his eyes briefly and resumed walking to the ticket booth. "Nor do I," he agreed, distancing himself a bit before suddenly looking over his shoulder to call back to his Jew, "So don't mope! We're at a motherfucking carnival!" He winked, beckoning Kyle closer as he took his place at the end of the line.

...

With a relieved sigh, Kyle walked up to join Cartman in line. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. As long as Cartman watched himself, they might be able to get away with this. Hell, they were friends once, right? Well, sort of. Not really. Whatever. The _point_ was that they could easily pretend they were just hanging out again – no big deal. If they each kept their hands to themselves, there would be no reason for anyone to think they weren't just old friends who just happened to be at the county fair.

When they finally made it up to the booth, Kyle made sure to pay for himself before Cartman had a chance to say or to anything. Once the brunet caught up to him inside the fairground, he shrugged uncertainly. "Ok, lead the way I guess."

...

_Pushy,_ Eric thought to himself when Kyle darted out in front of him to pay for his own ticket. He was pretty surprised at the fact that a _Jew_ would be so adamant about spending his own money. _Huh,_ _learn something new every day._

But as soon as their entrance fees were paid and they were on their way to the funnel cake stand Eric could care less about their public image or 'relationship status'. "Oh my God, okay," he cheered as they got up to the stand. "What do you want on it? Strawberries? Blueberries? Or do you just want an," he held in a laugh as he playfully nudged Kyle's side, "_Old fashioned_?"

...

"I'll just have a bite of whatever you get," Kyle said, eyeing the funnel cake with slight disgust. "The idea of eating a whole pile of fried fat and sugar with more sugar on top isn't exactly appealing… and putting fruit on top doesn't make it any healthier, you know."

...

"What are you talking about? YES IT DOES!" Eric argued ignorantly, throwing his hands up into the air.

"It counteracts the whole fried thing!" he claimed, really believing that. "That's why it comes with it, so that after you eat the unhealthy stuff you can be like 'Well at least I had my fruit today!'" He shook his head in disappointment, ashamed at how unaware Kyle was about these things.

...

"Cartman, I swear to God you're going to die before you're fifty," Kyle said, shaking his head. But he didn't want to launch into a speech about nutrition and moderation and how _he was diabetic, _so he just stood there, chuckling to himself over Cartman's ludicrous notion that Vitamin C somehow cancels out saturated fat.

...

"Yeah but you know what? I would have eaten what I wanted to eat and held no reservations about living my life to the fullest," Eric combated, rolling his eyes. "Besides! Who wants to grow old? Fifty's enough…"

Then they finally got to the front of the line to order their strawberry funnel cake. Once it was in his possession, Eric immediately started to munch on it as he looked around for a good place to sit. "Okay, we need a super special awesome place to sit…" He looked around, spying a small empty tent that like it was supposed to be a fortune teller booth. He smirked to himself as a devilish idea came to mind.

"Hey Kyle," he nudged, peering over to the tent. "How about we check that out?"

...

"Yeah, ok," Kyle said, still weirded out by Cartman's completely unnecessary excitement as they began to walk toward the tent. "And maybe when the fortune teller comes back, she can tell you that you're _totally_ going to live out your dream of dying young."

...

Eric looked at the 'on break' sign hanging on the outside of the tent. "Well hopefully she just left. We probably don't have much time and we have to finish this funnel cake," he said, sounding as though there was a task to it.

He moved the cloth out of the way and gazed into the dark atmosphere. The tent was set up like a desert cabana but with a slight nightclub feel to it. There was just enough space for a few people to sit comfortably on the pillows surrounding the low Japanese-style table in the center. He also noticed there were atmospheric lights which sensually danced across the walls in warm colors and that the smell of incense still lingered, presumably from the last session.

_Hmm… _Eric smiled to himself, setting the funnel cake down on the table before laying down on one of the huge pillows. "Well, this place is perfect. Come down here, Jew. Let's start this."

...

Making no move to touch the funnel cake, Kyle took a seat next to Cartman. He thought the fortune teller's tent was unnecessarily hardcore for a stupid county fair in the middle of nowhere. _She must be pretty serious about her 'art'_, Kyle mused, smirking a bit as he looked around the dimly lit tent to take it all in.

"We probably shouldn't be in here," he said as he turned back to watch Cartman dig into the cake.

...

"I know, but hey, if she comes in we'll just say we were waiting to get our fortunes told," Eric combated, reaching out to take off another piece of cake. "But the real reason I wanted us to come in here is because I wanted to make sure we had some privacy." He smirked and darted his tongue out to lick some of the sugar off of his lips. "Funnel cakes can get messy, and you haven't had a piece yet… _have you_?" He stared intently at the other boy, the tent's lighting illuminating his glazing over mahogany eyes.

...

"Ok, I'm pretty sure I already told you that A) I'm not eating that and B) no touching allowed," Kyle said pointedly, shooting Cartman a warning look. "Anyone could walk in."

...

"_I'm _not going to touch you," Eric argued lightheartedly, carrying a piece of funnel cake over to Kyle's mouth. "But the _funnel cake_ will." He cracked a devious smile, narrowing his eyes.

"Come on, you said that you'd have a _bite,"_ he growled seductively, his low voice reverberating off of the enclosed space.

...

"Ugh, _fine_," Kyle said before leaning forward to take the piece of cake between his teeth. It was too sweet and greasy, he decided as he chewed. Like eating a donut on steroids. And it made his stomach churn to think about it, but he had to admit that it _did _taste alright.

"Alright, happy now?" he asked after he swallowed.

...

"Hmm…" Eric looked over to his sticky fingers before carrying them over to grab a strawberry. "Not quite, you need to chase that with something healthy, don't you?" He brought the sauce covered slice up to Kyle's mouth and touched his lip with it.

...

Kyle looked into Cartman's eyes as he gingerly took in the strawberry slice. He knew what that asshole was trying to do, but he didn't see the harm in indulging as long as Cartman kept himself in check.

"There," he said before licking his lips, still not breaking eye contact. "By your logic, it's almost like I didn't even eat anything at all."

...

"I know! You must be so _hungry_…" Eric muttered, keeping his fingers near Kyle's mouth. He dared to touch those pouty lips again with his sugar and sauce covered fingers. "What about a little more, huh? Just a _taste_…"

...

_Oh so this is how it's going to be_, Kyle thought, smirking against Cartman's fingertips. His eyes flicked to the tent's opening, which was closed enough so that only a small sliver of light came through. Satisfied with their momentary privacy, he looked back to meet Cartman's gaze. He reached up to hold the brunet's hand in place as he took his index finger into his mouth, sucking away the abhorrently sugary mess.

...

"Yeah…" Eric exhaled in satisfaction, feeling Kyle's tongue so diligently wrap around his finger. He carried his other hand over to bring a piece of cake up to his own mouth to further the pleasure, beginning to chow down on one of his favorite foods while Kyle essentially serviced his finger. "So _yummy, _Kyle…." he cooed, dipping his finger further into Kyle's mouth to feel more of his hot tongue as he started to pant, his brow perking in interest. "Do you want _more_?"

...

"Mmmm," Kyle hummed against Cartman's finger before pulling away to take in the next one. He looked up to meet those mahogany eyes, knowing this was starting to get the boy worked up. The asshole was _eating still_, but Kyle liked to believe he was what held most of Cartman's attention at the moment. He hoped, anyway – but when it came to Cartman, he wasn't sure _anything_ could compete with food.

...

Clicking his tongue as a thought came to mind, Eric reconsidered his last offer. "But you already _got_ fed…"

He peered down to the plate, sliding it over towards Kyle. "How about you take a turn doing the feeding, hmm?" he playfully suggested, stroking Kyle's tongue with his middle finger as he moaned. "Even though I could feel that hot tongue of yours _all day_ if given the chance…"

...

Kyle pulled Cartman's hand away from his mouth and smirked. "You've been eating this thing since you got it," he said, looking down at the plate. "Don't you think you've had enough?"

He flashed Cartman a suggestive look as he tore off a piece of funnel cake. "Though… you were so _excited_ about it… I suppose one more piece couldn't hurt," he said as he began to bring the piece of cake to the brunet's mouth.

"But…" he said, stopping mid-movement. "I actually quite liked how it tasted… so maybe I'll just eat it myself. Unless… you want to come take it from me." Smirking, he brought the piece of cake up to his own mouth. He cocked an eyebrow at Cartman as he placed the cake between his teeth, daring the larger boy to come and get it.

...

Eric cracked a malicious smile as lowered his gaze. "Oh ho ho, Jew… you fucking know how to rile me don't you?" he growled, leaning over to hastily bite the funnel cake from out of Kyle's mouth, intentionally bumping the cake to smear some of the strawberry sauce onto his Jew's lips before swallowing it down. Keeping their lips still attached, Eric gently ran his tongue over them to clean off the strawberry sauce before pushing Kyle further down onto the pillows, kissing him full on once there was nothing else to lick up.

...

Kyle moaned into Cartman's mouth, deepening the kiss. He realized that this was entirely against the rules he set – he had specifically said no touching, _especially_ no kissing – but… they were alone, and it was getting so hard to say no to Cartman… and even harder not to egg him on. When it came down to it, Kyle had never had the easiest time controlling himself around Cartman – that much was obvious when they were children. But now it was almost impossible. And now it wasn't usually violence that resulted. It was… this. Touching and kissing and this _need_ he couldn't explain.

So he couldn't help himself from letting his hands travel south from Cartman's chest. He knew, logically, that anyone could walk in, but he still broke their kiss to bite at Cartman's neck as he started to undo the brunet's belt.

...

Eric loved to have it his way. He loved it with his food, he loved it with his life, and more recently he loved it with Kyle. So when he felt Kyle's hands hungrily move from his chest to his pants, he couldn't help but smile intently and mentally high five himself. However, as luck would have it, just as Eric opened his mouth to release an overly enthusiastic moan… the fucking tent curtains swayed open, followed by a woman's exasperated voice, "Ughhhh… I am going to have to get a lock or somezing because zis ees ze third time zis has happened to me today!"

...

Kyle let out a gasp and threw Cartman off of him as quickly and roughly as he could manage. _The fuck. Of course._ _OF COURSE_. He lets his guard down for three seconds, gives into his stupid whims, and the fortune teller fucking comes back.

"S-sorry ma'am!" he stuttered, fumbling to fix his hair and straighten his shirt. "I-I don't…. um. Sorry!" He looked to Cartman for help, totally at a loss as to how they could come back from this.

...

Eric's initial shock dissipated once he could tell that this woman was not dismayed by their obvious sexual preference, but by their unexpected intrusion. He was actually quite amused by this so he spoke out, "Third time today? That's pretty impressive… must have something to do with the décor you have in here… pretty enticing… don't you think?" He gave the woman one of his signature charming smirks.

"Eet ees supposed to make ze customer feel comfortable… and I can tell zat has obviously worked," she responded in a thick French accent, walking around to light the incense back up. "So I guess I should be zanking you two for your feedback." She turned around to give them her own smirk, closing her eyes smugly as she moved to the back of the tent.

"Now zen, do you want your fortunes told?" she asked, sitting down on the other side of the table. "Or… did you want me to cook up one of my famous aphrodisiacs for you?"

...

Blushing fiercely, Kyle responded, "No! N-no thanks. We should really be going. So sorry for intruding, ma'am, really." He looked at Cartman and jerked his head, signaling him to get up.

...

But Eric was actually intrigued. This woman obviously put a lot of effort in her work and he could tell that she was quite perceptive. She didn't gay bash them like most of the people here would, and fuck he liked the scent of the incense she just lit up. "Hold on," he said to Kyle as he peered over to the woman. "I think this might be interesting." He laughed and cocked his head to the side. "I mean… what could it hurt?"

"Eet ees only twenty dollars a reading… but for you two I will cut eet in 'alf," she informed, reaching over to shuffle her cards. "I like you two." She smiled, placing her cards down before lighting the candles on the table. "You boz 'ave quite some balls to come een here when you did not even know how I would react." Holding in a laugh, she darted her eyes to Kyle before teasingly adding, "Especially you, redhead. I could tell you were **really** getting into eet. What are your names?"

"Eric," the brunet answered immediately, peering over to Kyle to see if he'd play along.

...

Kyle couldn't _believe _this woman. Actually saying _out loud_ what they were doing. Accusing him of being more 'into it' than Cartman. It was so inappropriate he could hardly stand it. And worse, Cartman wanted to stay and have their fucking fortunes read by this perverted hack. He knew, he _KNEW_, that this county fair thing was a bad idea.

But… it didn't seem like Cartman was leaving any time soon. And at least they'd be in this tent for a while longer, which meant less time spent in the public eye. So he attempted to wipe the flabbergasted look off his face as he finally responded, "…. Kyle."

...

"Good, good… Eric and Kyle…" she spoke out. "So I am assuming you want zis reading about your mutual future?"

"Sure!" Eric cheered, loving how disgruntled Kyle looked as he happily finished his plate of funnel cake.

"Alright zen…" she began, picking out a card to quickly glance at it. "Okay well, zis first card represents boz of you in your current state." She then placed the card on the table for them to see. "And eet ees Ze Fool, which means zat essentially you two are in a state of delirium and folly. You 'ave no real control over ze situation 'overing over you, but neizer of you really seem too disillusioned by eet. Eet ees almost as zough ze uncertainty of whatever-zis-ees ees almost intoxicating to you – and since zis ees in ze forward position eet ees a good zing."

She shuffled again and then chose another card, placing it on top of The Fool. "Zen, zis next card ees what ees surrounding you right now. Eet ees covering you, enveloping you eef you will – and eet ees ze Knight of Swords. You are obviously in some kind of opposition wiz each ozair, and you are putting up defenses zat may or may not need to be put up. However – you boz are very good at zis; skilled I might say."

After looking at the next card she drew, she delicately placed it across the top to make a cross. "Your obstacle – represented by Judgment, ees ze fact zat you are going zrough a change of positions and you are boz starting to view each ozair completely differently. You are boz weary of ze outcome of ze relationship you are boz in and eet ees hindering your growth."

"Zis third card ees what you boz want but cannot make your own." She placed it directly above the crossed cards. "And since zis ees reversed King of Cups, zis tells me zat one of you ees using dishonest means to get eet. Someone 'ere ees covering up, or plotting somezing which ze ozer ees unaware of. Zis necessarily might not be a _bad_ plot, but ze person ees still being dishonest about eet, which should stop."

"Now – what you boz have tzu work wiz…" She flipped the next card, glancing at it before placing it on the bottom. "As described by zis reversed King of Swords, it ees … your absolute 'atred towards each ozair? Zis card essentially tells me zat zere are evil intentions, cruel breaches of faith, and perversity amongst you two zat 'as defined your relationship zus far. But as seen from your obstacle – you are trying to move past zis."

"So, you are moving from ze past, which ees represented 'ere by ze Ace of Swords as a forceful amount of hate – and are trying to move towards your future, here as ze Two of Wands, which says zat… your future might be filled wiz sadness if ze wrong choices are made." The lady shot both of them a warning look, shuffling her deck before then announcing, "Now, zis next session ees individual. Who would like to go first?"

...

Kyle had been staring at Cartman since the fortune teller mentioned 'dishonest means'. It wasn't that he necessarily _believed_ what she was saying… but it all sounded eerily accurate. And if what she said _was_ true… it could mean that he was right all along – that Cartman had some ulterior motive he wasn't being honest about.

Or… she was a fraud who was just pulling shit out of her ass based the fact that they were just making out, and maybe she had heard about Cartman's reputation or something.

But he didn't have much time to dwell on it, because the fortune teller stopped what she was doing and was waiting for a response from one of them. Individual session… that could be interesting. What was the harm in seeing what this crazy woman had to say about him? It was just a card game after all. "Ok… do me first," he said, looking back at the fortune teller, determined to take everything she said with a _big_ grain of salt.

...

Placing four cards directly above the other, The Lady pointed to the first one to start. "Alright zen, you Kyle, as eet stands, are somewhat content – you are privileged financially and 'appy about your life zus far. No major qualms as described by zis reversed ze Sun. However, ze reversed Hermit tells me zat zis relationship ees making you doubt yourself. You are exercising extreme caution and shutting in yourself out of fear. However, you do have 'opes in zis relationship – ze Ten of Cups ees a happy card which tells me zat you want to be content wiz zis and be in a perfected state of ze entire 'eart.

You 'ave 'ad a lot of face cards zough, which tells me zat someone ees actually taking charge of zis joyous state _for_ you – and zis could eizer be interpreted as a 'ope or fear. Lastly Kyle, for you to get to zis happy state, zis last card – reverse Eight of Swords – tells me zat you are experiencing much difficulty in zis transformation. However, zere ees somezing unforeseen zat you 'ave yet to uncover – and eet ees very likely zat by accident you will discover zis. So you need to keep an open mind, but more importantly, an open 'eart."

"What about me?" Eric asked impatiently, obviously sucked into this whole thing as his amazed eyes stared forward with incredible interest.

After shuffling the cards again, the fortune teller spread out four of them for the brunet. "Now you, Eric. Zis Five of Swords tells me zat you 'ave been working incredibly hard to clear your name of ze infamy, dishonor, and destruction zat you 'ave associated yourself wiz – and I also see zis in ze Page of Cups here. You 'ave worked very hard to get to zis point in your life. Much studying and application – and also reflection and meditation. Good for you.

Zis Five of Wands tells me zat you are fearful of what you 'ave lost but are proud of what you 'ave gained. You sometimes focus too much on what you 'ave lost zough – you need to understand zat eef you want to be in a successful relationship, you are going to 'ave to give a little to get a little. Yet zis last card, ze reverse Six of Pentacles, tells me zat what your desire 'as encompassed you entirely, and zat all zese cards point to ze envy and delusion zat you 'ave inflicted upon yourself to get here. You need to model yourself better, Eric, and I can tell zat you are trying… but as you can see…" She peered over to Kyle in an obvious manner. "I do not zink zat _someone's_ allowing 'imself to give you ze chance."

...

"Well, that was all _very_ enlightening," Kyle chimed in sarcastically, affronted by the fortune teller's comment. Could she _be_ any more out of line? "Thanks so much for all your _wisdom_."

He shot Cartman a glare, mentally asking him why the hell he signed them up for this, before standing up. "But we have to get going."

...

"Uhhh… yeah." Eric replied as he carefully fished a ten out of his pocket. "Thanks a lot…" He laid the bill on the table before getting up himself.

"Anytime, boys," the fortune teller called up happily, knowing that she hit the nail on the head. "Have a good night."

Once outside the tent, Eric could tell that Kyle was extremely hung up on something, so he decided to lighten up the mood. "Pshhh… tarot cards… you know it's all up to interpretation, right?" he tried to dismiss, although he knew that reading was a little more than just 'dead on', "I mean… secretive plots? How crazy can you get?" He rolled his eyes… but inside he was screaming _HOLY FUCK HOW DID SHE KNOW_?

...

"Yeah… what a cocky bitch," Kyle huffed, though he couldn't stop thinking about how strangely accurate her reading had been. "She… she clearly doesn't know what she's talking about. And anything that might have been… kind of right… well, we must have just been giving stuff away with like, our expressions or body language or whatever. That's all. She's just good at reading _people_, not futures."

He laughed nervously and shook his head. This whole thing was ridiculous, really. He'd tried to be skeptical about this stuff ever since Stan proved David Blaine was a psychopath and John Edward was a fraud. But… there was still a part of him that believed every word that woman said.

...

"Totally…" Eric agreed, but then had a change of heart as he bit his lip. "But I mean… the last thing she said…" He stopped in front of the Ferris Wheel, thinking about his next sentence as he stuttered, "A-about giving me a chance?" He crossed his arms as he looked to the ground. "This is… this is what this is, right?" He then looked up sheepishly, lowering his voice as he asked, "This… whatever-this-is?"

...

"I… I don't really want to talk about this right now," Kyle said quietly, looking down at their feet. He needed to brush this off somehow, so he tried to think of something he could say to Cartman that wouldn't be a blatant lie. "But I think letting you… you know, kiss me and stuff, shows that I'm giving you a chance. Right?"

...

"If you say so…" Eric exhaled, trying to wrap the conversation up as he peered over to the Ferris Wheel. "Hey, uh… wanna go on a ride?" He brought out his money again to see if he had enough for a ride or two, and he still had a ten left, so they were okay.

...

"Sure," Kyle said, glad the subject was dropped. He followed Cartman's gaze. "But… not this one. Fuck that."

...

"Why not?" Eric argued, pointing at the ride. "It's just a Ferris Wheel! I mean… I don't really trust any of the other rides here… especially the rickety old roller coasters." He shuddered slightly, remembering how poorly maintained some of the rides were. "But what can go wrong with a fucking Ferris Wheel? All it does is go round and round…" Then he perked up, suddenly remembering something cool as he raised his arm further to point to the top. "And it's cool because we're kinda on a hill and I remember being able to see South Park from the top!"

...

"It's just kinda… gay," Kyle said lamely. "No one goes on Ferris Wheels but couples, Cartman."

...

"Well you know what?" Eric smirked as he dropped his arm and lowered his head to Kyle's level. "_We're_ kinda gay." He laughed, grabbing Kyle's hand suddenly to pull him closer to the line. "And you're totally wrong about that. Not only couples go on Ferris Wheels – normal people go on them too." Eric thought for a second as he let go of Kyle's hand. "People… who… wanna see their house! Like us. We just wanna see our houses from here." He folded his arms into his chest as though that's all they needed to say.

...

Kyle looked around frantically to see if anyone was looking at them – especially anyone they knew. But as far as he could tell, no one saw Cartman grab his hand. Good. Bastard had yanked him into the line before he could protest, despite his wanting to very badly.

"_Fine_," he muttered in defeat. "Let's get it over with."

...

"_Let's get it over with,_ listen to you!" Eric teased pushing Kyle slightly as they edged ahead in line. "You always like to rush through things, don't you? Everything's been going okay so far, no one important has noticed us, and no one else cares." He paused to give the employee his ten and received seven dollars back. Once they got up to their seat, Eric stopped before it to pause and hold out his hand out as he smirked. "_After you_…"

...

"Jesus Christ," Kyle said, rolling his eyes as he got into the passenger car. Once Cartman was seated beside him, he turned to smirk at the boy. "You know, this whole chivalry thing is really getting old. You don't have to open doors for me or pay for me or any of that crap. I'm not a girl, in case you hadn't noticed."

...

"Well Kyle… I don't see _you_ doing it," Eric joked as he closed the door on them, the ride immediately starting afterward. "_Jew Princess_."

...

"What, opening doors and paying for myself?" Kyle asked as they made their way up. "I would if you'd _let me_. Like, remember that time I told you I wanted to pay for my own coffee and you went behind my back and paid anyway?"

He shot Cartman a half-hearted glare, not willing to admit that he actually _liked_ the stupid gestures. He hated himself for even _thinking_ it.

...

Eric just continued to laugh to himself as he snaked an arm around Kyle's shoulders. "Well… you did pay for your ticket today… but I paid for everything else," he argued, the ride suddenly stopping when they were at the top. "And look! Look how perfect this is, Kyle… it stopped while we're at the top." He dared to shift closer as he nodded in the direction of their town. "South Park's over there, do you see it?"

...

"Get off me," Kyle demanded, shrugging his shoulders in an attempt to shake Cartman's arm off. "People could see…"

But as he looked around, he realized that every car had an umbrella-like roof. The people in front of them couldn't see through the roof of their car… and the people behind them couldn't see them through the back of the seat they were in. The reality was that they were relatively private at the top.

"… Or maybe they can't," he said, leaning into Cartman. "And yeah, I can see our town… not much to look at though. The mountains are much better."

...

"Oh, yeah," Eric turned to look at the mountains, seeing how the sun was shining directly behind them as he leaned in to nuzzle Kyle's hair. "Tell me, what are you going to miss most once you move to New York? Will it be the mountains? You seem to like them a lot…"

...

"No," Kyle said after taking a moment to think about it. "I like them a lot, yeah, but… I think I'll miss the stars the most. There's so many here in the mountains… and I've heard the city makes them invisible."

He laughed, embarrassed by that admission. "It's stupid, I know."

...

"No, you're right," Eric leaned forward to look up at the sky, a couple of stars only barely visible as the sun started to set. "I mean... you might only see a couple." He suddenly flinching as a brilliant idea came to mind, but he only bit his lip and leaned back to hug Kyle a little tighter. "Oh God, I just got the best idea but I can't tell you what it is."

...

"You can't just say something like that and then not tell me!" Kyle said, looking up at Cartman. "That's such a douchey thing to do!"

He brought one of his fists around to punch Cartman lightly in the chest. "Wait… we've been up here a while," he said, immediately forgetting all about Cartman's idea as he started to panic. "Are we stuck! Please tell me you like, paid the guy to keep us stopped up here or something."

...

"What?" Eric perked a brow before removing his arms from around Kyle to look down… only to see a tech guy talking to the ride operator. "Ummm…. No. I didn't." He then leaned back into the seat as he rolled his eyes. "And it looks like we _are_ stuck." He smirked, patting Kyle's leg as he joked, "Hope you aren't afraid of heights."

...

"Of course not!" Kyle said, glaring at Cartman. "I just don't like being _stuck in midair_! I hate not being able to go anywhere… Oh God. _Oh God_."

He slumped down in his seat and crossed his arms in frustration. "I _seriously_ don't like this. We could be up here _forever_, Cartman!"

...

"Well then let's make use of the time," Eric replied, also slumping in his seat as he gripped onto his knees in contemplation. He had to distract them somehow, so he went back to their previous topic. "Let's see… what else will you miss? I don't want to make you feel bummed out or anything but, I mean, it's fun to plan things out, right? How about this – tell me not only what you'll miss when you get to New York, but what you're looking forward to." He smiled, genuinely trying to make this a pleasant experience.

...

"Cartman, this _really_ isn't a good time to be talking about this," Kyle said irritably. "For God's sake, we're –" He trailed off as he realized what Cartman was trying to do. He just wanted to take Kyle's mind off of the fact that they were stuck.

"Um. Ok. I guess… I'll miss Stark's Pond. And yeah, the mountains too. And… Stan… I'm pretty sure he's staying in Colorado, so we'll never get to see each other," he said, trying to think of answers to Cartman's questions instead of focusing on how God just _totally_ forsook them. "But I'm looking forward to having more interesting things to do… the kinds of museums that we never got to go to on field trips as kids. Oh, and seeing the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island… I guess that's pretty touristy but… whatever."

...

"Oh," Eric puffed, looking down slightly as he hung his head in disappointment. "That does sound like fun." He didn't want to dwell on the fact that Kyle didn't mention him on his list, so with a scorned expression, he looked towards the mountains again. "Yeah and, don't forget about the readily available gay bars and well-dressed east coast boys that would just_ love _to get with you." He glared back at Kyle, obviously hurt, but quickly replaced it with a sly grin as he stretched out his arms in a fake yawn. "But what do I know…" he exhaled, defensively folding his arms into his chest. "I'm just some hick mountain kid that's doomed to live out the rest of his life here, right?"

...

"I didn't say anything about _gay bars_," Kyle defended, glaring at Cartman. "Why are you so pissed? You asked me what I was looking forward to and I answered."

...

"Yeah," Eric sighed, still frowning as he rolled his eyes. "You sure did." He pursed his lips and tapped his fingers against his arm, trying to get his mind off the fact that Kyle still didn't view him significantly enough to actually name him as something he'll miss. "Well, I know you won't miss much here… no more lame ass kids you can't relate to, no more 'middle of nowhere' mentality, no more…" He gritted his teeth in aggravation. "No more _Eric Cartman _to put up with." He immediately regretted saying that and began to curse at himself internally.

...

"What? …. Oh," Kyle said, leaning back in his seat. He defensively crossed his arms, his eyes narrowing. "Sorry, I didn't _realize_ your question was just a way of fishing for compliments."

...

"Not quite, but…" Eric inhaled deeply as he seethed, "I get the picture." He scooted away from Kyle somewhat, not wanting the Jew to see how bent out of shape he was about this new realization.

...

"Jesus Christ, I was just saying things that came to mind! Get over yourself!" Kyle retorted, now considerably irritated with Cartman's selfishness. "What did you expect me to say, huh? That I would miss you _so_ freaking much? That I want you to do exactly what Butters told me you were planning to? We've been hanging out for like two fucking months and we've only been on speaking terms for half that time! So stop fucking moping about it!"

...

"Excuse me for thinking that any of this actually meant anything to you," Eric argued back, his eyes growing darker as he lightly kicked the metal wall in front of him. "I mean, yeah I know we're still not on great terms and all but… I thought that… you know… this was helping." He furrowed his brow pitifully and gave Kyle a desperate look, but immediately shook it off to peer back ahead angrily. "And God forbid I hold some kind of hope that when you get to New York you actually think about me… and how I tried to…" He hung his head slightly, really not wanting to sound this pathetic as he reluctantly continued, "…ugh, give you a better impression of myself before…" He closed his eyes, biting his lip briefly. "Before you're gone for good."

...

Kyle sighed and looked toward the mountains, feeling a pang of guilt rush through him after hearing Cartman's explanation. "It means _something_," he said reluctantly, his anger slowly fading. "I just don't know what."

He uncrossed his arms and looked back to the brunet. "And, there's no reason to even be thinking about any of this right now anyway. I still have a whole year left here."

...

Glaring back to the redhead, Eric noticed that Kyle was being more receptive now, so he uncrossed his own arms to place a gentle hand on top of Kyle's. "You're right," he laughed, toying with one of Kyle's fingers as he looked back up with his autumn-brown eyes. "I'm just being a fag." He chuckled louder, lightening up significantly.

...

"Yeah," Kyle agreed, smirking. He moved closer to Cartman so he could rest his head on the brunet's shoulder. He wasn't sure why Cartman reacted the way he did, or why _he_ reacted to Cartman with such anger. He was just glad they weren't talking about it anymore. "It's stupid to think about the future right now. It's summer. All that matters is right now, right?"

...

Eric rested his chin on top of Kyle's head once it met his shoulder and smirked. "Are you suggesting that we go _Grease_ and have some sort of summer romance that ends with us riding a convertible off into the sky?" he laughed, burying his face in Kyle's curls before proceeding to peck small kisses starting from his head down towards his face.

...

"Fuck no, I hate that movie. And you just killed the moment," Kyle said before tilting his chin up to meet Cartman's lips with his own.

...

Eric fucking loved how Kyle could go from snarky to adorable in freaking half a second. It was so like him, and it really reminded Eric of why he was going through this emotional roller coaster in the first place. Therefore, as he laughed into the kiss and leaned back into the side of his seat, Eric let Kyle take over a little bit by giving his Jew the sort of 'top position'.

...

After a minute of allowing their tongues to battle it out, Kyle pulled back. "We shouldn't," he said, returning fully to his side of the passenger car. "Why haven't they fixed this thing yet?"

...

_Ergh…_ _figures Kyle would do this when I give him a little leeway…_ "I dunno…" Eric groaned, moving over to kiss at Kyle's neck again. "I'm pretty sure you could just kick the God damned thing and it would start back up again." He hungrily pulled Kyle closer into him to see if _he_ would start back up again.

...

"No," Kyle protested weakly, pushing Cartman back. "It could start up any second. And I don't want to get too, you know… into anything."

...

"Well then go ahead!" Eric pushed Kyle away and laughed, pointing to a joint near the seat. "Kick the God damned thing and see if it'll work!"

...

"You _know_ that wouldn't work," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. "And knowing us, and everything that used to happen when we were kids, I'd kick it and the whole fucking car would fall off. I kind of want to survive today, thanks."

He peered over the edge, watching as the technician continued to fumble with the controls. Sighing, he leaned back and looked at the roof of their car. "Some fucking fair."

...

But Eric was perturbed, because he _did _remember everything that happened to them as kids… and his own personal luck when it came to the bets he made. Therefore, he shifted in his seat nonchalantly and made sure that Kyle wasn't looking before daring to reach his leg over the bar and **KICK **the joint with all his might… which caused the whole ride to violently shake as it restarted.

"_**AAAAHHH OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD**_!" Eric yelled as he fell back into the car with saucers for eyes, immediately grabbing onto Kyle with all his might, exhaling and inhaling violently as he curled into a fetal position on the seat.

...

"Wow, what a fucking hero," Kyle said, laughing awkwardly as he pushed Cartman off of him. He couldn't believe how much of a scared little shit Cartman could be sometimes. "Try not to cry too much, ok?"

But he breathed a sigh of relief as the ride started to bring them back down, because for a while he was honestly afraid they'd have to bring in the fire department to rescue them… which would have been _absolutely_ awful.

...

Collecting himself accordingly from his laughable freak out, Eric tried to regain his formidable appearance by the time he stepped out of the Ferris Wheel, blushing as all hell as he followed Kyle out into the fair once more.

"So…" Eric said, trying to divert from that whole situation as they started to walk towards the exit. "You still wanna do anything here?" He looked around the fair to see if anything stuck out, stopping when he saw a couple of games that he could easily win. "I mean, we could play a couple games… see if I could win you something." He smirked, knowing that Kyle would hate the obvious insinuation.

...

"Yeah, like _you_ could win anything," Kyle scoffed, smirking at Cartman as if daring him to try. "Besides, everyone knows they rig these things anyway."

...

Eric peered down at Kyle quite maliciously before chuckling. "Oh ho ho, you'll eat those words."

After walking up to one of the booths, Eric took a good look at the game before calling out, "One game." He slammed a dollar down on the table and the guy gave him three balls. Looking back towards his Jew, Eric narrowed his eyes before stating, "If I win? You have to carry whatever I win you around. _In public_. But if I lose?" Eric thought for a second, rolling his eyes before deciding to give Kyle free reign of the losing end. "I guess you'll just have to dish out the consequence."

...

"Sounds good. I don't have any problem with mercilessly laughing at you," Kyle said cockily, honestly believing that Cartman didn't stand a chance.

...

"Good!" Eric shouted, taking one of the balls in his hand before throwing it up contemplatively, eyeing the center of the three cups ahead of him as he pondered how to hit them dead on. Setting his focus where he needed to throw the ball, Eric pulled his arm back to chuck the ball with all of his might at the center… only to have it bounce off the _table_ holding the pyramid of cups and ricochet into the set of cups NEXT to it. Which, according to the guy working the booth, didn't count.

...

Kyle smugly leaned on the counter, grinning up at Cartman. "Nice shot."

...

"Shut up!" Eric retorted as he grabbed the next ball. He looked up at the prizes and spotted a particularly awesome one. "When I win this, I'm going to get you that princess cat doll and you're going to carry it around and be HAPPY about it." He puffed in amusement, eyeing the cups again as he hastily threw his next ball – hitting the cups dead on but actually _bouncing off _of them, revealing that the game WAS in fact rigged.

Inhaling out of shock, but then gritting his teeth in rage, Eric whipped his head around to the carnie to shout, "WHAT THE FUCK?" He threw his hands in the air before pointing to the still stationary cup pyramid. "That should have knocked them over! SHENANIGANS!"

"Didn't hit hard enough," the guy sighed while leaning against the wall, obviously not aware of what he just got himself into.

"Didn't hit hard enough, huh?" Eric seethed as he grabbed his next ball, taking aim again. "**Is this hard enough****?**" He then suddenly changed directions to aim it at the guy's head before hurling it at him. _BOOM HEAD SHOT! _Eric's ball got the guy RIGHT in the temple and he was out like a light. The unconscious carnival worker fell from the wall onto the table with the cups, causing the whole table to fall over _including_ the cup pyramid.

Smirking at his work, Eric lifted his arm up to gingerly pluck the princess cat toy from above, handing it to Kyle as he turned to casually walk away from the booth. "Shall we?"

...

Kyle was in shock. Not only did Cartman physically assault and _knock out_ one of the fair's employees, but he fucking picked the girliest, grossest, most _embarrassing_ prize he could.

"I hate you _so_ much," he said miserably as he turned to follow Cartman's retreating back. Flushed and trying to hold the toy as inconspicuously as possible, he sped up to join the brunet. "You totally cheated. This doesn't even count as you winning me anything! All you did was incapacitate the carnie and _steal _from the booth. You could've just called shenanigans!"

...

"No!" Eric argued, laughing at how whiny Kyle was being as he peered to the side. "THAT guy's the thief. How much money do you think that guy stole today?" He inhaled deeply, feeling very satisfied with himself as he pet Kyle's princess cat. "He deserved it, and so did you." He winked, looking to the exit and yawning. "Anyway! We're leaving aren't we? So it's not like you have to hang onto it for long."

But then as Eric turned his gaze to look at the fair one last time, something caught his eye. His eyes widened and his jaw hung open as he stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the. Best. Thing. EVER. To end their date.

...

"Yeah I guess that's –" Kyle began, but cut himself off once he realized Cartman was no longer walking with him. He turned around to see the brunet looking like Christmas came early. "What now?"

He walked up to Cartman and looked to follow his gaze. "Oh no. No no no. NO. We're leaving. Don't even _think_ about it," he said, tugging on the other boy's sleeve. "Cartman, I swear to God I will kill you where you stand if you even suggest it. Let's _GO_."

...

Hearing how Kyle was so adamant about not going on the ride just made Eric want to go on even more. "No no!" He latched onto Kyle's arm, looking both ways before leaning down to whisper, "I mean…. Didn't you hear?" He had a plan, a wicked plan that he knew might work.

...

"Hear what?" Kyle asked suspiciously, wondering what he ever did to deserve this kind of treatment. First the princess cat, now the fucking _'tunnel of love'_ ride? It was practically abuse.

...

"I've only heard rumors," Eric started, peering back to the ride with a whimsical stare. "That it's actually not a tunnel of love at **all**." His voice grew lower as he started to tell his tale, "I've been going to this fair for a while now, and every time I come I notice a REALLY long line for the Tunnel of Love. Like, more than just the normal amount – and it's not just couples – it's like normal people."

Eric then changed the tone of his voice to sound more sinister as he tilted his head, "Because – and this is what I've been told – that if you jump off at a certain point? There's something in there – I don't know what, but the carnies have it back there for themselves since you know, Tunnel of Love rides are lame and people don't usually go on them." He stood up straight again and mustered up the best poker face he could. "So if we just watch for people, you know, try to see where they get off – we could totally check out what the secret is." He nudged Kyle slightly as he eyed the place with mock suspicion. "I've always wanted to know what was up, but, I never got the chance."

"And look! The line is practically empty!" Eric pointed out, starting to walk toward it. "It's the last day, and only a couple of couples are in line."

...

"Cartman, do you think I'm stupid?" Kyle called, refusing to walk any closer to the ride. "Is that load of bullshit _really_ the best you could do?"

...

Whipping his head back to meet Kyle's skeptical gaze, Eric gritted his teeth anxiously as he quickly thought something up. "Kyle, honestly, do I look like someone who would want to go on a 'Tunnel of Love?" he argued, looking back at it. "You said for me to lead the way, so…" He looked back to Kyle, sporting a hesitant expression. "I'm just telling you that this might be really cool, or so I've heard." He then crossed his arms. "Also, I heard it's kind of long, so by the time it's done, more people will have left and you can escape without anyone having seen that cute toy of yours." He grinned, loving himself immensely as he eyed his little prize – referring not to the toy, but to Kyle.

...

It was true, Cartman was never a mushy Hallmark card kind of person. He really _didn't_ look like someone who would go on such a horrible ride unless there was something more to it. But, really, Kyle wasn't about to put anything past Cartman. He walked up to the boy, not to join him on the ride, but so he could talk to him without having to be really loud.

"I'd rather people see me with a stupid toy than going into or coming out of that fucking ride," he said quietly. "If you want to find out the 'secret' so badly, go ahead, I'll wait for you out here."

...

"It's just as bad if they see you waiting with that toy out in the open, and then see ME come out to join you," Eric argued, knowing he was right about this. "Spare yourself the humiliation and just come with me. If someone sees us we'll tell them we went on to see the 'thing' – trust me, they'll understand."

...

"No, they won't, because you just pulled that whole story out of your ass," Kyle said defensively. "But… _fine_, I'll fucking go. If anyone we know sees us, though, I _will_ kill you."

He hurried into the line, looking determinedly at the ground as if that would somehow prevent anyone from recognizing him. He really, really wished he was wearing a coat or _anything _with a hood. _This is so fucking humiliating_.

...

"Oh chill out, Kyle." Eric rolled his eyes as he joined Kyle in line, smiling genuinely as he spoke in a lighter voice, "This is supposed to be corny for a reason. You laugh at it and throw rocks at the ugly shit." He bent down to pick up a couple of stones and then offered one to Kyle. "Why don't you show me you're a better hit, hmm?"

...

Kyle smiled slightly as he took the rock from Cartman. "You know, if you said you wanted to go on as a joke to begin with, I might have agreed sooner," he said, lightly tossing the stone up and catching it again.

"But you've had it out for me since we got here, so you should probably watch your back. My aim is pretty good," he said, laughing a bit. Perhaps he would just get his revenge on Cartman by throwing a rock at his head. Smiling at the thought, he moved forward in line and paid for their admission.

...

Amazed that Kyle just paid for both of their admission into the fucking Tunnel of Love ride, Eric smiled brightly. "I hear there's this ugly ass angel in here, right?" he informed, walking up the steps to where the stereotypical swan boats docked. "It's sculpted horribly and so many people have thrown rocks at it that it's HORRIFYING looking." He waited for the next boat to arrive before concluding, "But its head is hanging on by like an inch of plaster! And whoever throws the rock to like, decapitate it would be known FOREVER in this carnival's history." This part was actually true; Eric had seen it before when the fair was being set up.

...

"Ugh, who are you talking to who knows about this ride?" Kyle asked, since none of _his_ friends had ever mentioned anything about the Tunnel of Love, especially not what was inside the ride. As he got into the swan boat, he realized that even Stan and Wendy have probably never done this. _God damn it, this is so __**lame**__._

"Cartman, I seriously can't believe you managed to make today into the corniest thing ever," Kyle said as the brunet joined him. He looked down at his fucking princess cat toy. "If that was your goal, you succeeded admirably."

...

"But you had fun, right?" Eric laughed as the swan boat started to make its way down the dopey-ass river. "I mean, carnivals are supposed to be corny. I just thought we could have a couple of good laughs together… and _I_ sure did." He looked up at the decorations, actually disturbed by them. "_This_ is supposed to be the tunnel of love? God, I can't wait to throw shit at this stuff…"

...

"What, you can't feel the overwhelming love in the air? They clearly put _so much_ thought into this," Kyle said, motioning to the ugly cupids and too-bright hearts lining the river. "You should have brought more rocks."

...

"OH yeah, it's INTOXICATING, let me tell you..." Eric joked as he reached into his pocket. "I did bring a couple more rocks though." He pulled out his concealed projectiles as he eyed a particularly ugly teddy bear thing on top of the arch leading into the next section. "Think I could hit that bear up there?" He reeled his arm back, throwing the rock at its ugly face when BAM! It landed square in its eye socket, causing a puff of plaster to exhume from it. Eric laughed hysterically as he fell back into his seat.

...

"Not bad," Kyle said, laughing along with the brunet. He looked around for something good to knock out, and a thin plaster silhouette of a couple kissing caught his eye. Smirking, he leaned forward and prepared for a steady shot. He brought his arm back and chucked his own stone at the decoration – and it went straight through their interlocked lips, leaving a small hole in their place.

Laughing, he leaned back in his seat and put his feet up in front of him. "This isn't so bad, I guess," he admitted, smiling genuinely as he looked over at Cartman.

...

Gawking at how awesome Kyle's shot had been, Eric fumbled with his next rock as he leaned slightly closer to his rather amused Jew. "See! And here you thought I was bringing you in here to make out with you in some dumb ass swan boat!" He looked around for his next target, realizing that the ride was nearly over as he frowned in disappointment. "This is hardly worth the money. It only lasts what, three freaking minutes?" He turned around again, trying to look for the angel as he growled, "And damn, where is that fucking angel?"

...

"I still think your original plan was to make out, actually," Kyle replied, smirking up at the other boy. "As for the angel, maybe we missed it. Or someone got to it before us."

...

"Well, Kyle," Eric called down, peering at the redhead quite provocatively. "The ride's not _over _yet…"

However, just as he was about to lean closer to take Kyle's lips, something caught his eye: an ugly-ass, beat up plaster angel hovering over the final archway, its head basically one stone away from breaking off.

"Look!" Eric sat back up straight as he pointed it out to Kyle. "Do you think you could hit it?" He lowered his eyelids and grinned. "I'll let you do it since I essentially dragged you onto this ride… and forced you to carry that toy." He then leaned back down toward Kyle's face to whisper, "But I'm not done with you yet, Jewboy. Knock off that angel's head and you'll see what your REAL reward is…" He ended his suggestion with a snarl and quickly bit Kyle's earlobe.

...

"Ha, you think you can make up for all of that with a dumb angel?" Kyle scoffed, taking one of the remaining stones from Cartman. He shot the brunet a provocative look. "There had _better_ be a real reward coming."

Smirking, he positioned himself to get the best aim he could. He stuck his tongue out a bit in concentration, then brought his arm back and released the rock. As Cartman had predicted, the angel's head was one hit away from falling off – and when Kyle's rock collided with it, it fell neatly into the water below.

"Jews may not have rhythm," he said smugly, absolutely pleased with himself. "But we have great aim."

...

"OH HO HO! YEAH!" Eric cheered as he nearly stood up in the boat, causing a couple of waiting people to look at them as the swan boat came to a stop at the dock. "Did you see that! Fucking Christ, Kyle that was AWESOME!"

The brunet jumped out of the boat, Kyle following close behind as the larger boy continued to rant, "Like you were all '_Eh there better be some reward coming_…' and then you were all like 'PANG' and then the angel's head came off in the water, and like it made this huge DUNK sound and… Oh God." He turned around to hug Kyle. "You're the fucking best!"

...

"_Cartman_," Kyle hissed, pushing the brunet away from him. Blushing fiercely, partly because he enjoyed the praise and partly because there were actual _people_ around now, he awkwardly straightened out his shirt. It was best to try to pretend what just happened didn't happen. A couple of people were still looking at them. _Way to make a scene, asshole,_ he thought.

"Come on," he said, walking briskly away from the ride with the brunet in tow. Once they were an acceptable distance from it, he slowed to a normal walk. "Ok, let's leave before – _Oh God_."

He stopped dead. Stan and Wendy were fucking heading right for them. The absolute_ last _people he wanted to see that day, besides maybe his parents, were right _fucking_ there. He quickly grabbed Cartman's sleeve to turn him around, but it was too late.

"Kyle?" he heard Stan call, and he had no choice but to immediately let go of Cartman and sheepishly turn around to face his best friend.

"Oh, hey, guys," Kyle said nervously once the couple stopped in front of them. "…What's up?"

"We're just… at the fair," Stan said, eyeing Cartman suspiciously before looking back to Kyle. "What are you doing here?"

Kyle knew what he meant. He tried to nonchalantly sidestep away from Cartman. "Oh, um. Funny story, actually. I kind of tutored Cartman this semester, and…" he began, racking his brain for some possible, _plausible_ explanation. "I, uh, I did such an awesome job getting this fatass' grades up that his mom wants me to like, keep him in line by like, periodically hanging out with him this summer. Weird, right?"

"…Yeah," Stan said, now back to eyeing Cartman.

"Yeah, it's basically babysitting. She's paying me and everything. I guess she just doesn't want him to be such a fuck up," Kyle finished, laughing nervously as he dared to glance over at Cartman. Kyle couldn't really read him, but he could only assume he wasn't too pleased.

...

_Oh this is going to be a barrel of fun…_

"Right…" Eric rolled his eyes and folded his arms into his chest, trying to play along without getting too angry at Kyle. "Some summer this'll be. Gotta fucking hang around with…" He peered down to Kyle and brought out one of his hands to shove him. "Fucking…. Jewface all the time. Feels like it's not even summer!" He was actually happy that he was annoyed with Kyle – it would look like he was honestly angry with him.

...

"Yeah, seriously," Kyle said, relaxing a bit once he knew Cartman was playing along. "Worst summer ever."

"Yeah," Stan said, laughing. Kyle wanted to praise God. "That fucking sucks, dude. Why didn't you say anything? I could've helped."

"Oh, um…" Kyle began, again at a loss for words. What would be a good excuse for not telling Stan anything?

"Stan," Wendy cut in. She reached up to brush a bit of his hair back as she smiled. "You know what would be awesome? I'm _really_ craving some French fries – that stand over there is taunting me. Could you go grab me some?"

"Oh, yeah sure," Stan said, grinning down at her. Kyle could have kissed her for her timing.

"Kyle can go with you. I'll wait here, my feet are tired," she said, batting her eyes. Kyle hadn't been around them both at the same time since school ended – he almost forgot how good she was at getting what she wanted from Stan. Impressive, really.

"Sure, babe," Stan said, leaning down to kiss her before motioning for Kyle to follow him.

Once the two boys were gone, Wendy angrily looked up at Cartman. "What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

...

Eric scoffed audibly once Wendy dismissed Kyle so easily, as though she had ultimate control over all of them. He whipped his head around to give her a dirty look as soon as she asked him, oh God, _'what he was doing'_.

Puffing out a very amused laugh, Eric folded his arms into his chest. "I'm at the fucking carnival, Ho, what's it look like?" He then frowned, signaling to her to honestly _back off._

...

"It _looks_ like you're both lying through your teeth, and judging by that toy Kyle was trying to hide behind his back, I'd say something other than _babysitting_ is going on," she said pointedly, not at all intimidated by Cartman's scowl. "So, I'll ask again, _what do you think you're doing_?"

...

"Always fucking reading in between the lines – even when there's nothing there," Eric seethed as he brought up one of his hands to run his fingers through his hair. "God Wendy, you're so predictable." He flung his arm back down to his side and shrugged irritably. "So what? Kyle won a lame stuffed animal at a booth and he's been rubbing it in my face that he won and I didn't. There's nothing else going on here besides summer being ruined by my nosy ass mom and that no good ginger Jew…"

He brought up his hand to point an accusing finger at the bitch's chest as he lowered his voice, "And now _you're_ making it worse by actually INSINUATING that there's something else going on." With his arm still lingering in the air, Eric's gaze curiously followed his outstretched finger to her bosom, daring to actually glance at it for a second before bringing his arm back in. "For God's sake Wendy, lay off the gay comics…" he said, shaking his head.

...

"Whatever you say, Cartman," she said coolly, choosing to ignore his obvious glance at her chest _and_ his suggestion that she was into… that sort of… reading material. "I can tell that story is a bunch of bullshit. _You_ may be able to lie, but Kyle had 'I'm hiding something' written all over him."

She looked over to the food stand and saw that Stan was still waiting for her fries. He waved and she smiled and waved back before glaring back at Cartman. "I'm warning you, asshole. I don't know what you did to make him hang out with you. And I don't know what game you're playing," she seethed, taking a step closer to him. "But I'm onto you."

"Maybe you've always been able to get _him_ to fall for your little acts, but _I'm_ not buying it for a second," she continued, poking Cartman roughly in the chest. "If anything happens to him, I will personally _maim _you. And you _know_ I'm capable of that."

...

Hurriedly grabbing her intrusive but dainty hand, Eric firmly gripped onto it with enough force just to make her wince. "You mind your tongue, woman," he warned, eyes growing darker as he threw down her arm and took a step forward. "Any decision that Kyle makes during this experimental 'babysitting' thing that he's agreed to is his decision alone. Surely you wouldn't want to hamper on his 'freedom of expression' _would you, Wendy_?" He shrugged, figuring that would strike a chord with her.

"Kyle has nothing to do with you. And honestly? He couldn't give two shits about you anyway, so why are you wasting your energy?" Eric laughed in amusement as he shifted his dark orbs down once more. "You've got better things to do…" He brought his hand up to his lip before smirking. "Hmm… like going down on Stan's two inch jock dick for instance..."

...

"Don't talk about him like that, you disgusting freak," she hissed, taking a step away from Cartman. She then took a breath, trying to forget his crack about Stan and ignore his insinuation that Kyle didn't care about her. "And Kyle and I are friends. Stan cares about him a lot and so do I. And so what if he makes his own decisions? A bad decision is still a bad decision, no matter _who_ makes it."

She crossed her arms. "And what makes you think he gives two shits about _you_, Cartman?" she asked, eyes narrowing. "Why are you wasting _your_ energy?"

...

"_Oh ho ho…. du bist soo verkehrt, schlampe…"_ Eric muttered to himself as he brought his hand up to slick back his hair. "I'm just going along for the ride." He shrugged, loving the way Wendy was looking at him, so riled and ready to pounce… it was actually pretty enticing to say the least. "If I'm going to be hanging out with him all summer, why not try to make it enjoyable?" He crossed his arms and smugly closed his eyes. "I can't be a dick all the time, you know... I have to save it for when it really counts." He then gave Wendy a teasing look as he cocked his head to the side. "Like right now."

...

"What did you say before?" she demanded, not knowing the first thing about German. "Fuck it, never mind. Just… stop, okay? Whatever you're doing, stop."

She sighed, deciding that maybe it was best to approach this civilly. "You've already put him through so much, why can't you just leave him alone?" she asked with all seriousness. "Just back off and let him be happy for once."

At that moment, Stan and Kyle made their way back over. Stan handed her a cup of fries before taking her free hand in his.

"Well, we have shit to do before the fair closes for the night," Stan said, grinning at Kyle. "You probably want to get the fatass home to mommy."

"Yeah," Kyle said, laughing half-heartedly. Wendy caught his eye and raised an eyebrow, and he quickly looked away. _Yeah, _she thought_, there's definitely something wrong with this picture_. "I'll see you tomorrow, dude."

"For sure," Stan nodded. "I'll call you."

Wendy shot Cartman one last threatening look before leading Stan away. She wasn't sure if this was the right time to voice her suspicions to Stan, who had clearly eaten up Kyle's story without a second thought. She decided against it for now – but she was definitely going to start paying closer attention to what Kyle was doing with his free time.

...

"I forget sometimes how much I just want to strangle that bitch…" Eric snapped as soon as Stan and that no good God damn _whore_ were out of ear shot, audibly seething as he ground his foot into the dirt. "She thinks she's 'all knowing' and all-awesome, like some stuck up BITCH and… UGH," he growled before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, knowing that Kyle was here and COMPLETELY unaware of the conversation he just had.

"So!" Eric changed his demeanor in a millisecond as he happily, and quite crazily, peered down at Kyle. "What do you wanna do now? Go home? Get comfortable?" He suggested, stretching out. "You still have that reward if you wanna cash it in…"

...

"Yeah, let's go… that was too weird for me," Kyle said, taking Cartman's comments about Wendy as just… well, Cartman's normal, every-day opinion of her. He began heading toward the exit and the brunet fell in next to him.

"Sorry about that, by the way," he said after a minute. "I kind of pulled that story out of my ass. It's just… you know. Weird. And they wouldn't understand. Hell, I don't even understand this yet. So… sorry." He kicked at a loose pebble in the dirt. "I know that was kind of the most humiliating thing I could have told them," he continued, and then laughed softly. "I'm surprised you're even still offering that reward."

...

Eric still was peeved about the 'babysitting' thing, that was for sure, but Wendy's argument with him basically caused him to forget it completely. And when Kyle brought it back up he actually smiled. "Well, Kyle… I guess we're even. I make you carry around that doll and go on the Tunnel of Love with me and then you call yourself my 'babysitter'."

He puffed, affectionately bumping into Kyle as they exited the fair together. "I'm just glad that everything's still okay and no real drama occurred," he concluded, but as he brought out his keys to unlock his car from a distance, he perked up. "And if you don't want that reward… I mean, that's cool with me…" Eric chuckled and gave Kyle a boyish grin.

...

Kyle smiled, glad that Cartman wasn't going to pick a fight with him over what he said to his friends… though he definitely seemed upset about something. Maybe something Wendy had said? He couldn't imagine what, though. So maybe he was just kidding about them being even, and really _was_ mad at him.

As they approached the car, Kyle casually took Cartman's hand. "Are you pissed? Be honest."

...

Eric's eyes widened at Kyle's unexpected touch, and he looked down to their connected hands as though a ghost had just brushed passed him.

But then, glancing back up at Kyle's concerned eyes, Eric felt his heart pang with guilt and he bit his lip, knowing that to reveal Wendy's hint would cause his Jew to panic. "No," he decided to state, trying to give Kyle a real smile as he longingly gripped onto his hand. "I was just thinking about how crazy and funny today went and…" He lowered his head bashfully, taking in Kyle's amazing emerald stare. "How I want there to be more days like it."

...

"I wouldn't mind that," Kyle said, leaning his head on Cartman's shoulder as they continued to walk. It was dark enough at this point that he figured it wouldn't matter. No one would bother squinting through the darkness of the poorly lit parking lot to see who they were or what they were doing, after all. So, what the hell?

...

_Oh fuck, this is all going pretty well!_ Eric marveled after hearing Kyle's response and feeling his Jew's head gracefully fall onto his shoulder. "So…" he mumbled, intertwining his fingers with Kyle's as they finally arrived at his parked car. "Where do you wanna go from here?" He didn't really know if he was talking about their relationship or just… literally where they were going next.

...

"I don't even know what time it is," Kyle said, realizing he hadn't checked his cell since they arrived. Taking it out, he saw it was only quarter to ten. "I guess we could go to your house. Or just drive. I dunno, it's pretty early still."

...

"Yeah…" Eric took that metaphorically and leaned against the hood of his car, smiling a non-descript grin as he looked up to the night sky. "Hey…look up." He nodded upwards, sitting down before lightly pulling Kyle onto him so that he was sitting on his lap.

...

Kyle felt a pleasant shudder run through him when Cartman wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in. Smiling, he looked up at the night sky, which was littered with stars. "What?" he asked, wondering if Cartman was looking at something specific.

...

Eric nuzzled into Kyle's shoulder and eyed a particularly bright star above them, an idea coming to him as he lovingly closed his eyes and brought his Jew closer into him. "You see that bright star above us? The one that's like, almost as bright as the moon?"

...

"Yeah," Kyle said, completely relaxing against Cartman's body. "What about it?"

...

"I'm almost positive that's the North Star," Eric commented, feeling Kyle relax into him as he held him tighter. "It's supposed to guide you home if you're lost." Moving his head over to place his mouth against Kyle's ear, the brunet lowered his eyelids as he spoke softly, "It's bright enough that you can see it from anywhere at night – even _New York_."

He paused briefly, letting that sit as he buried his face in the crook of Kyle's neck. "So… when you're there, and you see it?" He blushed, not wanting to sound sappy but also wanting to say his next line just as badly. "I want you to think of this – you know, us on my car looking at the stars when they look this visible." He wanted Kyle to associate something, _anything_ with him while he was in New York if this plan ultimately didn't work out.

"So… think of me, I guess," Eric got to his point, still hiding his face from Kyle as he held his Jew closer to him.

...

Kyle closed his eyes, taking in the feeling of Cartman's possessive hold on him. He felt his breath escape him at the brunet's words, knowing right then that he _would_ think of this moment whenever he saw stars in the city. He would think of South Park and mountains and cool breezes and Cartman's scent and the way he held him so tightly.

"We should get going," he said softly after a moment, looking down at the ground.

...

Hearing Kyle suggest that they should leave right after Eric had said something like _that_ actually caused him to wince slightly. Still not knowing how his redhead actually felt about his suggestion, he hesitantly let go. "Yeah… sh-shouldn't be out here for too long like this," he brought up as he whisked to the other side of the car, opening the door to quickly get inside before starting it up. Then he patiently waited for Kyle to get situated before pulling out of the space.

…

**A/N: **Special note – labyrinth1n3 actually did a tarot reading for this chapter, so everything the reader tells them is legit and, therefore, super creepy. But of course it's all up to interpretation anyway. ;) Again, we love all your feedback! :D


	13. July 11th: Part Two

**A/N:** Part two of the July 11th chapter, in which there are lulz and the opposite of lulz.

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Thirteen – July 11th continued

After leaving the fair, they drove in silence, and Kyle spent the entire ride feeling guilty for brushing Cartman's comment off. But he couldn't let Cartman know that what he said got to him. He didn't know why, but he just couldn't. He didn't like talking about the future with Cartman… and he should know that by now. Kyle just wanted to take things as they went and have fun while it lasted. He wanted to run around in secret and pretend, for little moments here and there, that they were never enemies.

But Cartman always seemed so preoccupied with New York, despite an entire year standing between now and college. And New York wasn't even set in stone. He might not get in. And he honestly just hated thinking about it. It was too depressing, especially since Cartman seemed to be trying to show him why Colorado wasn't that bad, and it was kind of working.

"So, what was that reward?" he asked finally, deciding to break the silence with something very far removed from 'serious'.

...

Eric, who had been brooding since leaving the fair, straightened in his seat once he heard Kyle bring _that_ back up. "Well," he gripped onto the steering wheel in anticipation, "I said that it could be anything you wanted but… I certainly have an idea. But you might not like it," he teased, relaxing into his chair as he carried his arm over to rest on Kyle's seat.

"So how about this: you can make up your own reward… or you can choose mine…" he suggested, thinking that maybe Kyle was curious enough to fall for it.

...

"… What's your idea?" Kyle asked, curious. Cartman said he might not like it… but if it was a reward he would have to benefit somehow… right?

...

_Oh God, here it goes_…

"Okay Kyle," Eric started off, trying not to sound too excited, "your reward… is that you get the PRIVILAGE –" He paused to pull into his driveway and turn off his car. "Of jacking _me_ off."

...

"You're such a prick," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. Of course his _'reward'_ was something that _Cartman_ would get the better deal out of. But after what he said while they were looking at the stars, Kyle was honestly just itching to get his hands on Cartman. "But, ok. Get in the back. We're doing this in the car."

...

_HOLY FUCK IT ACTUALLY WORKED._ "**Really****!**" Eric exclaimed as he hurriedly reached over to open his door. "This isn't some trick, right? You're not going to Jew me out or anything when I'm about to cum, are you?" He kept up his barrage of questions as he excitedly entered the back of his car, watching while Kyle did the same. "This is for realsies, right?" His eyes were fucking sparkling in awe now as he continued to anxiously stare at Kyle.

...

"You'll just have to find out," Kyle said, shutting the car door behind him. He leaned in to kiss the brunet lightly before climbing over to straddle the boy. His hair brushed the ceiling of the small car but he figured it shouldn't be an issue. He bent down to capture Cartman's lips in a heated kiss, pressing his body up against him. Yeah, he decided, this was _much_ easier than discussing the future or going on corny dates.

...

_That was a tad unexpected, _Eric thought to himself when he felt Kyle straddle his hips. While the redhead kissed him firmly into the seat of the car, Eric tried to get comfortable with him being so bold when _HE_ was the one who was supposed to be getting off. Yet with Kyle so fervently focused on him and him alone, it was hard to protest, especially since he was growing hard.

The car's temperature was rising at an increasing rate, the windows fogging up in the process. So with Kyle grinding into his crotch and their mouths still attached in their passionate frenzy, Eric relaxed ever so slightly, signaling his willingness to comply with whatever Kyle wanted to do to him – not _relinquishing _control, but curious to see what Kyle was going to do.

...

Not breaking their kiss, Kyle let one of his hands fall from Cartman's shoulder down to his crotch as he scooted back just a bit. While he was fumbling with the brunet's belt and working to undo the button on his jeans, he realized that he wasn't as nervous about doing this as he thought he would be. It wasn't anything he hadn't already seen, after all, and technically… he'd touched it before, too… just not with his hands.

But when he released Cartman's already hard cock from his boxers, it felt thicker in his hand than he expected it to and he felt a rush go through him. He broke their kiss to look down at his hand, which was wrapped around a cock that definitely wasn't his, and what he was about to do finally hit him. Blushing, he looked back up to meet Cartman's eyes and smiled nervously.

He let go and turned away from the brunet as much as he could so he could spit into his palm. He figured Cartman probably wouldn't care, but it was gross to Kyle so he didn't want to do it right in front of him. Turning back, he grasped onto the larger boy's cock again, slowly moving his hand up and down.

...

God it was really hard for Eric not to say anything as he felt Kyle's undo his pants. He felt like adding in a couple quips to make sure Kyle knew that he was still in control and that it was HIS request to have this done. He had this need to feel like no matter what happened it would still be _his_ actions and _his_ will that would direct the outcome.

But as soon as he felt his Kyle's hand reach inside to wrap around his dick, Eric experienced a sudden thrill and he released an involuntary moan before cutting it off as quickly as possible. He didn't want to look up at Kyle. He didn't want to see him looking down as though he had the upper hand, since now it was pretty obvious that Eric did NOT have control over this situation. Yet Kyle wasn't really _doing anything_ at this point – so after a couple of seconds of only feeling Kyle grip onto him and nothing more, Eric hesitantly looked up with his flushed and embarrassed expression to see what was going on.

And that's when he caught Kyle's sheepish smile, as though he really didn't know what the fuck was going on either. It wasn't the smug look he expected, which made him calm down significantly. He honestly felt a lot better now that it seemed like Kyle wasn't going to make this into some power trip.

But then Kyle let go all of a sudden, causing Eric to give a slightly confused look before he saw the redhead look away to spit into his hand, which actually made him laugh slightly. He carried one of his hands up to run his fingers through his hair, relieving some of his tension. Then when Kyle gripped onto his dick again, Eric could feel the still-warm lubricant smear onto him as his Jew finally started to move his hand.

Eric couldn't fucking stop himself from releasing a satisfied but anxious moan as he quickly reached out to hold one of Kyle's shoulders in place, watching what was taking place with scared but intent eyes as he felt the most powerful bolts of pleasure shoot up from his waist. This whole thing was so awkward but _soooo_ fucking good that he just needed to close his eyes again, loving what was taking place but frightened that he could actually let himself get this way in front of the one person he never wanted to look weak in front of.

...

Kyle had to admit, it was nice watching Cartman lose it for once. So far it had just been him – _Kyle_ had been the one moaning pitifully. But not this time. And it was _awesome, _albeit a bit awkward and strange. Smiling to himself, he increased his pace. He moved his hand faster and bucked his hips a bit, feeling his hand bump against his own erection though the fabric of his jeans. He threaded his free hand through Cartman's hair and leaned in to kiss his neck, leaving a trail up his throat and across his jaw line, ending at his ear.

...

"AH!" Eric yelped helplessly as soon as he felt Kyle's mouth on his neck, sensing his Jew's kisses pleasantly trail up to his ear as the strokes got quicker and quicker. Feeling Kyle thread his fingers through his sweaty tufts, Eric grasped onto the redhead's other shoulder as well. He held on tightly, hiding his reddening face in the crook of his redhead's neck as he bucked into his hand ever so subtly, cursing internally for allowing himself to look and sound so God damned desperate in his own fucking car.

...

Kyle grinned against Cartman's neck, almost unable to contain his newfound sense of self worth. It felt so freaking _empowering_ to have Cartman gasping and holding onto him for dear life. And the best part was he just _knew_ Cartman was hating this as much as he was loving it – letting go of his control, letting Kyle have the upper hand for once… it must be _killing_ him. And Kyle was relishing it.

He moved his hand up the brunet's thick cock and gently ran his thumb over the tip, feeling a thick glob of pre-cum as he let out a stifled moan against Cartman's neck. He felt the other boy's cock twitch at that and he knew he must be doing _something_ right, so he gladly went right back to jacking him off, this time with faster strokes.

...

"_Oh God no_…" Eric whined as he felt Kyle's pumps go slicker, knowing that he was only moments away from actually _coming_ because of this. _Dear God, could I be any more fucking lame_? It was just that Kyle's fingers were so much more fine than his, and he could actually feel each one of them grip onto him. It wasn't like when it was his own hand jacking him off; this was so new and so fucking amazing because – God now Kyle was panting into _his_ neck. Kyle was enjoying this just as much as he was – well, that wasn't surprising. _I bet he's loving this, hearing and seeing me so desperate for his touch… about to come just because I've wanted this so badly…_

Bringing Kyle closer into him, Eric silenced his accelerating moans by clamping onto Kyle's neck as he felt his waist start to rise. Sensing that all too familiar rush, he lifted his face off of Kyle's neck to cry out his release, not able to hide his desperation any longer as he came in heavy spurts, Kyle's hand still wrapped around his twitching cock as it emptied out onto their clothed torsos.

...

Hearing Cartman cry out and knowing that _he_ was responsible for it gave Kyle such a strangely amazing feeling of accomplishment. He didn't think this would be a real 'reward' going in, because what would he really be getting out of it, but he couldn't lie – it felt rewarding to know that they were on more equal ground now. Cartman had power over him, yeah, but he also had power over Cartman.

But now that it was over, the awkwardness was starting to come back. He pulled back and wiped his hand off on his shirt, now completely unsure about what to do. "So, um," he said, coyly meeting Cartman's eyes.

...

Eric, still panting heavily, didn't look at Kyle until he heard his awkward little attempt at diverting from what just happened. The diversion actually pleased him because it meant the Jew wasn't going off into some 'look at what I did to you' rant, which would have made him feel so fucking dumb. So gazing at his flustered Jew, Eric smirked deviously before reaching up to grab Kyle's shirt to mischievously pull him closer, shutting him up with a conclusive kiss.

...

Kyle leaned into the kiss, pressing his body against Cartman's as he wrapped his arms around the brunet's neck. When it ended, he pulled away just enough to be able to lean his forehead against Cartman's. "Now what?" he asked, suddenly not sure what was appropriate to do after a sex act.

The other times they'd just taken a nap after and it was fine, but that wasn't really possible in a car. So… what? Would Cartman drive him home now? Or would they go inside with cum-stained clothes to awkwardly tell Mrs. Cartman about the county fair? It seemed cheap to just go home after this, but… what else was there?

...

Eric felt Kyle relax on top of him as he answered, "Well," he tapped his fingers on Kyle's back and smiled, "wanna have a _slumber party_?" He knew that it had been ages since they slept over each other's house, but it might be a crazy and unexpected enough suggestion to actually work.

...

Kyle bit his lip. He wanted to go along with it… but there was the problem of his mom. She'd need to know if he wasn't coming home tonight. A few hours, sure – she'd realized he was old enough to just go places for a while without telling her – but a whole night? She'd flip if he didn't call. He'd normally just tell her he was at Stan's, but he knew he couldn't ask Stan to lie for him if she called because then he'd have to tell Stan where he _really_ was.

"I don't know… my mom…. Oh wait!" he stopped, knowing what he said made no sense as he took his cell phone out of his pocket. Kenny! Kenny suspected something already and even though Kyle never did call to explain, he knew the kid wouldn't really ask questions. And even though his mom didn't _love_ the McCormicks, she wouldn't care if he was supposedly at Kenny's all night. Thank God for having friends who would just fucking roll with it. He sent a quick '_If my mom calls, I'm at your house tonight, ok?_' text to Kenny before looking back up at Cartman.

"I guess it might be worth a shot," he said, smiling as he played with the brunet's hair.

...

"AWESOME!" Eric nudged his head against Kyle's as he started to list off, "I mean… we can like, make sundaes, play games, share _secrets_…" He knew that this was going to be funny as _hell_. "And then _go to bed_…" He nipped at Kyle's lip as he felt something vibrate, presumably a text on Kyle's phone.

...

Laughing, Kyle pulled back to look at his phone. _'Sure thing ;)' _He rolled his eyes, _almost_ regretting picking Kenny to be his alibi as he quickly dialed his home phone number. He'd never be able to live this down.

"Hey mom," he said once she picked up, smirking at Cartman as he talked. "I'm sleeping over Kenny's house tonight, is that ok?"

He continued to play with the brunet's hair with his free hand as he listened to her go on about how much stuff he had to do – which really wasn't much, aside from a summer project for AP English and college applications that weren't due for like seven months. "Yeah, I know. I'll do it, mom. _It's just one night_," he said, rolling his eyes. "…Yeah, I'll be home early tomorrow. No I _don't_ need you to bring me pajamas, mom. Jesus Christ I'm not six years old!"

At which point she began to scold him for talking back. "MOM I'm losing you, reception is really bad at Kenny's! I'll be home in the morning bye!" he said quickly before hanging up. He grinned at Cartman, feeling somewhat dangerous now (which he knew was lame, but he hardly ever lied to his mom and he _totally_ just got away with it as far as he knew).

...

Overhearing Kyle's conversation with him mom was actually sort of enticing because of how his Jew looked lying to his mom like that, and with such intent! By the time Kyle faked the breaking up part, Eric was full on grinning as his redhead hastily snapped the phone shut.

"You're SO SNEAKY, Jew!" Eric teased as he chuckled, bringing his face closer to Kyle's devious one as he pulled one of his arms back to open the door. "How about we get out of this car and start our super special awesome sleepover?"

...

"Sure, as long as you never call it that again," Kyle retorted, pushing himself off of Cartman. He watched the brunet tuck himself back in and redo his fly and belt before getting out of the car. His own erection was most _definitely_ gone after speaking to his mother, so he didn't have to worry about _that_ right now. He followed Cartman out of the car, and once the door was shut behind him, he tried to straighten himself out. "Umm… I'm going to need to borrow a shirt," he said awkwardly, hoping Cartman would get the hint.

...

After adjusting himself and locking back up his car, Eric took looked down to his own shirt and laughed. "Oh, yeah." He crossed his arms to cover some of it. "Don't worry about that, I'll give you a set of… smaller clothes to change into," he answered, reaching out to grab Kyle's hand to proceed to lead him up to the house. "And about _my_ mom? Don't worry – I'll talk to her."

Eric opened the door and stepped into the foyer with Kyle right behind. Liane was on the couch watching TV when they came in, and she called out, "Hey honey, how was your time at the –" She stopped once she looked to the door, unexpectedly seeing _Kyle_ there, out of all the possible people her son could have brought home.

"Fair? It was great!" Eric finished for her, now crossing his arms. "It's just as good as last year's – nothing really new. Though I don't think the ball and pyramid cup game will be back for a while." He looked down at Kyle's prize, which he had reluctantly brought inside.

"Well… that's nice," Liane answered, still looking at Kyle. "And… you, Kyle? How was your time?" She hoped to get a clue as to why he was here after not seeing him around her son for years.

...

"Oh, um, fine," Kyle replied nervously, blushing despite having very little reason to. If anyone in the entire town would tolerate, and maybe even _accept_, this new development between him and Cartman… it would be her. He knew she would probably be fine with it, maybe even happy for them. But he was still inexplicably afraid. He crossed his arms in an attempt to cover up any obvious, um, issues with his t-shirt. "We just… hung out. It was fun."

...

"Oh, okay," Liane relaxed a bit further into her seat, smiling to herself. "Well you guys go have fun, but Eric you need to take the trash out." She reminded him only because she wanted to find an excuse to get Eric to step away from Kyle for a second.

"What!" Eric scoffed before suddenly remembering that it was trash night. "Oh yeah…" He growled, turning to Kyle as he nodded to the staircase. "Go on upstairs; I'll be there in a bit."

As he rushed past his mom on his way to the kitchen, Eric uncrossed his arms, which inadvertently revealed his shirt to her. Liane had noticed that both boys seemed to be trying to hide something, and once she saw the stains on Eric's shirt, her suspicions were confirmed.

After waiting a couple of minutes before her son came back into the room, having done the _one_ chore he was responsible for, Liane quietly called out, "Eric, make sure you wash those shirts soon – those are tough stains to wash out, believe me." She smirked in amusement, knowing that would freak Eric out.

Predictably, Eric stopped in his tracks as soon as he heard his mother make that insinuation, a cold chill going up his spine as he face palmed. "I can't get anything past you, can I?"

"Unfortunately, when it comes to matters such as these? No, you can't," she answered, lowering her voice to a whisper. "And if you don't want Kyle's mother to notice his shirt then you'd better do it soon."

"Uhh… can you just do this for me, just once?" Eric pleaded, knowing that it was awkward to request but also knowing it would be just as awkward for Kyle's mom to find. "This is the first time he's sleeping over… I know it takes time, but…" He laughed, knowing this was pushing it but joking with her regardless, "You're so good at removing them anyway."

Liane visibly blushed as she rolled her eyes. "Ugh," she scoffed. "It's yours, right?" She sighed, knowing that she was probably one of the only mothers on Earth who would do this for her son.

Eric smirked, knowing that he just got his mother to comply with yet another one of his selfish demands as he prided, "You better believe it."

"Fine, Eric," she shook her head, not able to believe she was actually going to exercise her unusual skills like this. "Just throw them both down and they'll be cleaned."

Smirking to himself, Eric began to ascend the stairs as he called, "Thanks Mom! You're the best."

"Just wear protection for God's sake; you don't want to give Kyle another venereal disease!" Liane continued to lecture from the couch. 

"Like I have any to give him!" Eric combated from the top of the staircase.

"You owe me!" Eric heard his mother end her rant as he entered his bedroom just in time to see Kyle delicately ease out of his shirt. He reached out to grab it. "Give it to me; I'll take care of it."

...

"Did I just hear your mom yell something about protection and diseases?" Kyle asked as he handed Cartman his shirt.

...

"I told you that I'd talk to her, and I did!" Eric replied, getting out of his own shirt after grabbing Kyle's.

"She knows now! And It's fine!" he assured his Jew as he walked to his bedroom door. "And she'll even wash our shirts for us!" Throwing the shirts down the hall, Eric purposely made his voice louder so that his mother could hear. "**Isn't she awesome****?**"

"Stop kissing ass, Eric! You're washing dishes for the next week!" he heard his mother call out from downstairs.

He clenched his hands into fists as he walked back into his bedroom, forcefully closing the door behind him. "So! Where do you wanna start?" he asked as he walked to his closet to pick out a smaller set of nightwear for Kyle.

...

"Um, I dunno. It's your house," Kyle said. He felt incredibly awkward knowing that Cartman's mom was downstairs probably wondering what the hell they were going to do that night. But it _was _pretty nice of her to wash their shirts. "It's cool of your mom to be so… cool about this."

At that moment Cartman turned around to hand him a set of… fucking _Muppet_ pajamas. He raised an eyebrow and gave the brunet an incredulous look. "You… you can't be serious," he said, and then began to laugh. "Why the fuck do you OWN these?"

...

Eric turned beat red as he stuttered, "Dah…um…" He bit his lip. "I'm pretty sure my mom saw these in like, the discount bin at Wal-Mart and insisted that I wear them. This was like… four years ago and I kept them as an inside joke between me and her." He laughed awkwardly, knowing that Kyle was completely alien to his relationship with his mother.

So bringing his hand up to stroke his head, Eric looked down to the ground as he explained, "I mean… you're right, she's really cool and all about what I do and who I am, but she's not just my mom, she's my friend too." He looked to his dated Muppet pajamas with a loving smirk as though they actually held some sentimental value. "It's like… she _trolls_ me about being a mom at times – it can get real annoying when I actually need her as a mom… but at the same time, sometimes I laugh too."

...

"Well, I don't want to intrude on the inside joke," Kyle said, noticing the way Cartman looked at the pajamas. It was foreign to him, the idea of hanging out with his mom and laughing about everyday things with her. And having inside jokes. And being open about his life. The only time they'd ever really had a heart-felt conversation was when they had 'the Jersey talk', and that was years ago. Cartman and his mom weren't just open, they were _friends_.

"Besides, four years ago? They'll be too loose on me _and_ too short, it would look ridiculous," he added with a smirk.

...

"Well… at least try 'em on! And you wouldn't intrude – you'd only make it better!" Eric nudged them closer to Kyle before turning to look inside his closet to see what he should wear. Then he spotted something that his mother had also given him as a joke. "How about this: I'll wear something just as bad," he suggested, smiling over at Kyle as he perked an eyebrow. "I mean, if we're going to have a slumber party we might as well make it iconic." He laughed and peered down to Kyle's bare torso, pursing his lips as he remembered how warm and nice it felt.

...

"…Alright, fine," Kyle said, smiling at the thought of Cartman wearing something equally stupid (though he couldn't imagine what could possibly match Muppet pajamas… except maybe Muppet _Babies_ pajamas). He grabbed the pajama set and sighed, looking down at the horrifyingly ugly faces of Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear… but at least the background was a nice shade of blue.

He pulled the shirt over his head, and of course he was swimming in it except for the sleeves, which were too short. Groaning at how stupid the whole thing was, he took off his jeans and subsequently pulled on the pajama bottoms. Again, they were wide as all Hell and a bit too short – though the extra fabric made up somewhat for the length issue. He pulled the drawstring until he was sure they wouldn't fall off and tied it in place. He knew he had to look like the most ridiculous thing ever, so to give himself some comfort he looked to see what Cartman had picked out for himself.

...

Eric watched Kyle as he unintentionally slipped out of his jeans with such sensuality, baring his legs for the first time in front of him. It was quite a show to see Kyle change so mindlessly in front of him. His Jew was more concerned about the stupid pajamas then his modesty, apparently. But whatever, they'd done so much already.

By the time Kyle was done changing, Eric knew that he had to slip into his own set of pajamas. Looking into his closet, he eyed his set of nightwear with reluctance and sighed. "Ok well, the ones I'm going to wear I would argue are ten times worse." He reached into his closet, pulling out a HIDEOUS set of Garfield pajamas that his mother gave him for Christmas last year in response to his 'Cami Secret' gag gift.

"I… I really don't want to wear these, but…" Eric laughed as he started to undo his belt. "I will…" He grabbed the orange Garfield shirt to button it on before slipping out of his own Jeans, blushing when he realized how unattractive he must be when compared to someone like _Kyle._

...

Kyle sat on Cartman's bed and watched the brunet awkwardly change into his own set of embarrassing pajamas. He was right, of course, they were arguably much worse than Kyle's. Not only did they feature a character from an outdated comic strip, but they were _obscenely_ orange.

"Why are you blushing?" Kyle laughed, noticing how red Cartman's cheeks were. He seemed abnormally self aware, which Kyle didn't think was fair seeing as it was _his_ idea to wear these particular pajama sets. "We're even now! We both look retarded for this retarded slumber party, I have a princess cat doll, Stan and Wendy think I'm babysitting you, and your mom is washing jizz off of our shirts. I think that's a solid day of humiliation, right?"

...

Realizing how dumb it was for him to feel this way after all they'd gone through, Eric laughed at himself once he finished fixing his pants. "Yeah I guess you're right, Jew…" he walked over to crash onto the bed, grabbing Kyle to bring him into a wrestling match and playfully pinning him down. "SO!" he cheered, lowering his face down to Kyle's as he grinned. "What's first on the agenda? Games? Sundaes? Pillow fights? _Secret telling?_" He teasingly nipped the tip of Kyle's nose.

...

"Wait, you were actually serious about all of that?" Kyle asked, grinning. "What makes you think I want to turn this into a _girls_' sleepover?"

He shifted underneath Cartman. "I mean, like I said… solid day of humiliation. Don't you think that's enough for today? We can just stay here…" he trailed off, tilting his chin up just a bit to take Cartman's lips in his.

...

Kyle's refusal to play along caused Eric to become somewhat dismayed by his lack of imagination, but then feeling his Jew's lips against his reminded him of all the other sorts of fun they could have. So he allowed Kyle to yet again initiate a heated kiss, the Jew's tongue wrapping around his own in sensual strokes. Eric then moved his hands to grip his Jew's sides as he hesitantly broke away from Kyle's mouth to whisper enthusiastically, "You're right, Jew! We can just stay here and go through another round of whatever we want… or," he peered over to his door, "we can play… a more _interesting_ kind of game."

...

"Hmmm," Kyle hummed languidly, his head still very much focused on the kiss Cartman just ended. "Like what?"

...

"Like…." Eric thought for a second, his parted hair falling onto his face as an idea came to mind, causing him to smile deviously at his Jew below. "When's the last time you played Twister?"

...

"Like, when I was three? Who the hell plays Twister anymore?" Kyle asked, bringing himself out of the kiss-induced haze.

...

Rolling his eyes in disbelief, Eric started to chuckle amusedly. "Who the hell plays Twister anymore?" he repeated, lowering himself closer to Kyle's face. "I'll tell you who plays Twister: people who have or _want_ sexual relations with whom they're playing it with, ie: _us. _And the cool part is, is whoever falls or messes up has to do a 'Truth or Dare' kind of thing." He nipped at his Jew's ear as he asked quietly, "Now doesn't that sound like fun?"

...

"Ugh, I'd be at a disadvantage though," Kyle whined, only partly serious. "How am I supposed to get around your fat ass?"

...

"Well then you have more to fight for, don't you?" Eric teased as he released some of his weight to further pin Kyle down in jest. "Besides, you also have the advantage of being more nimble." He eyed his Jew's slim body and gripped at his small sides. "I'm not going to be able to move very well at all, let alone hold myself up." He started to get up from the bed, looking back to Kyle as he asked, "So wanna give it a shot?"

...

"Fine," Kyle conceded, though he would rather have stayed in bed. Cartman was the worst person to play games with, so this would _definitely_ end badly. He was a sore loser and a cheater, so Kyle fully expected to be pushed over '_accidentally_' at least once during the game. Or get something thrown at him out of rage, like the poor carnie from earlier in the evening.

...

"Awesome!" Eric cried out as he excitedly ran to the door. "MOM! WHERE'S YOUR TWISTER GAME!" he yelled out before entering the hallway.

"In my closet with all my other games," Liane responded from the couch, still watching the television. "You guys in for a fun night or something?"

"Can it, mom…." Eric replied, entering her bedroom to rummage through her closet until he found what he was looking for. He gripped onto it before piling everything back in so that he could run back to his room. "OKAY!" he announced before shutting the door behind him. "Let's get started." He hurriedly threw down the mat and kneeled down to straighten it out. "You can spin first." He looked up at Kyle, excited as all hell with his widened eyes and devilish grin.

...

Sighing, Kyle got off the bed and picked up the spinner. "Ok, left hand green," he said, and bent over to do what the spinner told him.

...

Eric placed his hand on the circle next to Kyle's as he too reached for the spinner, reading it off as, "Left foot blue." He then stretched across to place his foot, using his right foot to prop himself up for now, because otherwise it would be an issue.

...

Things were all fine and easy for the first few turns, but it wasn't long before they found themselves in a somewhat compromising position. Kyle was sure Cartman did it on purpose somehow; there was no other reason why Kyle would end up on all fours and Cartman would conveniently be just short of _completely on top of him_. And what was worse, Cartman was hovering over him with his hands firmly planted on either side of Kyle, making it very difficult for him to adjust his position. He carefully reached out to spin the spinner before calling out, "Right foot yellow."

...

It only took a few turns, but Eric actually managed to get into this magnificent position with little or no protest from Kyle. It was perfect – Kyle's ass was just millimeters from his crotch and all it would take was him pushing down slightly and they were essentially fucking with clothes on. However, now that Kyle was moving his foot away from him, Eric knew that they wouldn't stay in this position for long and he was already getting a little tired of all of this… this was barely touching foreplay even though _he_ begrudgingly knew that he suggested this game.

_Oh God this is such a tease,_ Eric thought to himself before he got a devilish idea. And that's when he intentionally crossed his knee with Kyle's to make them both to tumble forward, causing Eric's waist to grind into Kyle's _in just the right spot_ before they both crashed into the plastic sheet below.

...

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK, CARTMAN!" Kyle yelled into the mat once they had come tumbling down, Cartman on top of him. He squirmed out from underneath the brunet and angrily grabbed his elbow, which had hit the floor rather harshly from the unexpected fall. "That fucking _hurt_! You did that on purpose!"

...

"Oh well, I guess we both fell!" Eric rose his hands up in defeat as he puffed. "So, that means we both have to tell a secret now, don't we?" He perked his brow in curiosity, sitting on the mat as he glared at Kyle with a look of interest. "I think this calls for a little 'Truth or Dare', hmm? I'll let you go first since," he leaned over to take Kyle's hurting elbow, carrying it up to his mouth to kiss it, "you got hurt." He chuckled mischievously.

...

"OK, then," Kyle snapped, yanking his arm away from Cartman. _Stupid patronizing cheating asshole._ "I dare you… to go fuck yourself."

...

Eric's eyes widened at Kyle's suggestion, blushing a bit as he asked, "Is that… literal?" His mind wandered back to the dildos he shoved back into his mom's closet, shuddering when he thought about what he might have to do to one of them.

...

"_No!_ Are you fucking dumb?" Kyle cried, honestly embarrassed that the question even had to be asked.

He huffed, trying to calm himself down. He knew he was just being a dick because Cartman knocked him over on purpose, and there was logically no point in getting pissed over a dumb game that he didn't even want to play in the first place. So… it was time to just get over himself.

"Ok, ok," he said, leaning back against Cartman's bed. "Truth or dare?"

...

Pondering over that for a second, Eric knew that he already got off today… and he wasn't quite ready to get Kyle off either. He was actually more curious to see what question Kyle would ask of him if given the chance to hear him respond honestly. "I'll save the 'dares' for later… for now? Truth."

...

"Ok, have it your way," Kyle said, slightly disappointed because really gross dares were his specialty. Truths on the other hand… he always drew a blank when he had to think of one. After a minute of racking his brain, his face suddenly broke into a devious grin. "Ok, list five people you've had wet dreams about. People you know. Not celebrities or whatever."

...

_Oooh_ _this would be tough…_

"Umm…." Eric thought out loud, not really sure if he could name five since there were really only a few he really thought about. "I guess…I've had a wet dream about… Wendy once or twice," he blushed, knowing that it was kinda obvious, but it was still embarrassing since she hated him and he hated her. "And then there was this really weird one with Scott Tenorman that I don't like to think about." He was growing shakier as he listed them. "I remember this one with Kenny, but it wasn't really sexual as much as it was… guh, I can't even explain it." He puffed, trying to recall some others before suddenly remembering another one.

Shifting uncomfortably on the mat, Eric gritted his teeth as he grumbled, "I had this odd one with Butters… but it didn't really count because he was dressed as someone else…" He moved his eyes to meet Kyle's, lowering his head as he muttered, "_But the number one person I have wet dreams about is_…" He exhaled a bit. "_You_."

...

Kyle couldn't help but smile slightly. He kind of knew already that he would be on the list, for obvious reasons, but it was still nice to hear it. He wasn't surprised about Wendy, or even Kenny, but… "Butters? _Really?_ Who was he dressed as? Professor Chaos? _Marjorine?" _he asked, laughing at how awkward and hilarious it all was.

"And dude!" he said. "Scott Tenorman is your _brother_! Not to mention fucking ugly as sin. Incest, Cartman? _Really?_"

...

Eric turned beat red as he argued loudly, "IT WAS NOT CONSENSUAL, LET ME TELL YOU! I don't have many rape fantasies where I'M the one getting it but… that was one." He gulped, bringing his knees closer to his chest. "When I woke up I was scared for my life and took so many cold showers that I probably developed hypothermia." He shook the memory off, collecting himself as he remembered Kyle's other question.

"The Butters one, though," Eric lightened up significantly as he stretched himself out. "That happened because I was getting a little realistic in my dreams." Smirking in dissatisfaction, Eric rolled his eyes. "At the time I never thought in a million years that I'd… you know… be able to do this to you… so in my _dream_…" he hinted, laughing at himself for how creepy he sounded. "I had him put on a red wig…"

...

Kyle flushed. He wasn't expecting _that_ to be the Butters thing, though he supposed in hindsight it was pretty obvious. "Well, um… dreams are weird, huh?" he said with a nervous laugh.

Then suddenly something Cartman said popped back into his head. "Wait a minute. What do you _mean_ 'where I'm the one getting it'?" he asked accusingly. "Cartman! How often do you fantasize about being a rapist?"

...

"Errr…" Eric glanced at his closet very briefly before eyeing Kyle again. "Only a… couple times…" He swallowed, _really_ not wanting to reveal the context of those dreams to his Jew… _zur seiner Jude_… "SO!" the brunet cheered, desperately wanting to move on. "It's totally my turn! Truth or Dare, Kyle…?"

...

"Oh, yeah," Kyle said, face falling. He'd almost forgotten that he had to do this, too. So his options were to either reveal something terribly embarrassing about himself, or perform a humiliating dare, which would undoubtedly be to suck Cartman's balls. Which, no. A vow is a vow, regardless of what road their relationship may have gone down since it was made. "Truth."

...

Eric smiled, happy that he didn't have to explain his horrible rape fantasies as he thought of a good truth to ask. "Awesome… so…" He tapped his finger against his lip before asking, "What are the who, what, where, why, and how's to your… finding out you were gay?" He smirked. "Most importantly… _Who__?_"

...

"Dude that's like five questions!" Kyle whined. _Totally unfair_. "But… um. I guess I started wondering in like eighth grade, when everyone was trying to get with everyone else and I was just… I dunno, not interested in girls. I tried to have crushes, and I pretended to for a while, but it was just like, unappealing or something. And it freaked me out because I felt like I should be trying to get blowjobs and shit like Kenny and Stan, but the two times I kissed girls that year, I didn't feel anything."

He leaned his head back, trying to remember the exact order in which certain events occurred. "At first I thought I was just late to the game or whatever. And then the summer before high school started, and that was when I had a wet dream – and don't laugh –" he demanded, looking at Cartman. "…About Stan. So there, all the jokes you've ever made have some basis in reality now. I never liked him like that, though, so don't go telling him that I did. But I did have that dream, and, I dunno. I never told him about it, even when I came out to him last year. It probably would have made him puke."

He laughed lightly and hugged his knees to his chest. "So I guess I was kind of questioning myself after that. I tried to tell myself that it was just a dream and dreams are dumb and weird like that, but then every time I, you know, I had to think about a guy to really get off," he blushed, not used to talking about masturbation so blatantly. "So, uh, I guess freshman year I was just confused and that's when I kind of started to avoid you and Kenny and everyone, even Stan to some extent. It was just weird… I thought Stan would be grossed out and my parents would disown me and you would torture me even more, so I tried to ignore it."

"So," he said with a sigh, growing tired of talking about himself. "Two summers ago at Jewbilee, my bunkmate and I were just like, talking about shit and we ended up making out. I forget how we got from A to B, but that's what happened. And I guess that's what made me admit to myself that I really was gay. I didn't like him, but I liked kissing him, and I never liked kissing girls, so… yeah. It was just kinda _there_ and I couldn't really ignore it anymore."

He took a deep breath and then smirked at Cartman. "So there you go: a long-winded explanation to answer your five part question."

...

Listening intently, Eric could tell that everything that Kyle just told him was absolutely the truth and he liked to believe it might have been the first time he ever told anyone all that. This was amazing to Eric! Because a couple of months ago he was the LAST person Kyle would talk to about this… and now _could _be the first!

So smiling genuinely, Eric approached Kyle and curled up next to him, knowing his was feeling a little bit vulnerable as he assured, "Kyle… I'd make fun of you for a lot of things, like being a scrawny, sneaky, no good ginger Jew… but one of the things I'd never make fun of you for is being _gay_." He laughed, shaking his head as he hugged Kyle's back to his chest. "So you did get off to Stan a couple times?" Eric puffed. "I'm not surprised… but I don't find him all that hot, honestly… if anything he just comes off as an airheaded douche. I'm not into looks really… I mean it's a plus but… I'm more into… what's under the skin."

...

"Oh, not into looks, huh? Gee, thanks," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. "And Stan's attractive… he's got that all-American thing going on. And he's not an airhead. You just don't like him because he cares about things other than himself."

...

_I don't __**like**__ him because he's too close to __**you**__. "_Kyle, for your information, I find you extremely attractive – but what I was getting at, is when it comes to my personal preferences… they can't be just 'hot'," Eric explained, trying to think of a way to convey his complicated sexual preference. "There has… to be… this element to them which makes them irresistible… like, a well thought out challenge that I need to figure out."

He leaned back against his bed frame with Kyle still in his arms. "Gender and sexuality are so… predictable, and boring as fuck if you ask me." He looked down, reaching up to play with Kyle's hair. "If anything? I'm just out to find someone who riles me up… and not just sexually but EVERYTHING." He gripped onto a curl slightly, twirling it in his finger as he gazed down at Kyle. "I think if you have to devote your whole entire life to someone, it can't just be based on 'oh he's hot and I think I love him'… no." Eric shook his head. "That person has to… make you feel alive. EVERY DAY. Like when you wake up, despite all the shit that's going on around you, that person is there and," he paused, shrugging his shoulders as he narrowed his eyes. "You have a meaning in life."

...

"That makes sense," Kyle said, looking down at the arm wrapped around him as he reached up to fiddle with the cuff of Cartman's pajama sleeve. "I don't get your thing with Stan though. I mean, I'm here with _you_ right? I don't get why you feel like you need to like, compete with him or something."

He then looked back up at Cartman. "Ok, truth or dare?"

...

Nervously looking down to Kyle, Eric gritted his teeth anxiously and muttered, "Truth?"

...

"Hmmm, hold on, I suck at these," Kyle said, again racking his brain. _Why won't he just pick a dare?_ "Ok, what's one really good deed you've done in your life? Hoarding cats in your attic doesn't count. It has to be for humanity, or a person. _And not yourself_."

...

Biting his lip nervously as a particular good deed came to mind, Eric hinted, "I saved a whole family once."

...

"What?" Kyle asked, looking up at Cartman skeptically. "When?"

...

Eric knew he couldn't tell WHICH family he saved, but he continued anyway. "Oh it was… during one of the natural disasters that occurred when we were kids. Butters and I ventured out and actually saved them when we found out they were in danger. Took a lot of time and balls…" He puffed, peering down at his skeptical Jew. "But it was worth it!"

...

"I don't know if I believe you," Kyle said, trying to think back to some of the disasters that happened during their childhood. "You would have bragged about it at least a hundred times by now if it were true."

...

"Well it was… Butters' idea," Eric stated, shifting the blame. "You can call him up and ask him! I won't talk to the fucker ever again, but know that the family wanted to remain anonymous." He tapped his fingers on Kyle's arm as he explained, "I went because I was… bored and they had a pet cat." He shifted his eyes suspiciously. "Cat lovers are tight…"

...

Kyle chuckled. "Whatever you say, Cartman," he said, not bothering to hide his doubt. "But why aren't you talking to Butters ever again? He's like, your best friend."

...

"Well that should be obvious," Eric puffed sardonically, gripping onto Kyle possessively. "He totally tried to break us apart! He spread those lies to you… telling you that I wanted to follow you to _make your life __**miserable**_."

But he knew the truth was just as bad._ I want to follow you because __I can't live without you._

...

Kyle laughed, completely unaware of how serious the situation was from Cartman's perspective. "Really? That's such a stupid reason to stop talking to someone, you know," he said, looking up at Cartman. "Sometimes people say stupid shit when they think their friends are drifting away. Do you even _know_ the kind of shit I've said about Wendy over the years? Before I finally accepted that she's here for good, gave her a chance, and actually really liked her?"

He smiled, thinking back on how ridiculous it was. "Butters was probably just afraid you'd stop hanging out with him if you started hanging out with me… which you essentially did. So I don't really blame him, to be honest."

...

"But you don't understand! He did it because he's jealous!" Eric tried to explain. "I know we're not really sure what our relationship really is now, but whatever it is he wants it for himself." He growled, burying his head in Kyle's neck. "And I don't like him that way! I never really did! He's so into me but I'm only really into you…" he sheepishly admitted.

...

"Oh…" Kyle said, looking down. "Well, why don't you just tell him that? He's a nice guy, just… don't be a dick about it, and he'll understand. It's not worth throwing away a friendship over, Cartman. And you've done so much shit to him over the years, _at the very_ _least_ he deserves some honesty from you."

...

Eric growled a tad and closed his eyes. "Maybe… I'll go talk to him. MAYBE." He clenched onto Kyle before grumbling, "It just pisses me off that he'd ruin something so important to me because of his own selfish wants." He shook his head. "Anyway… enough about me… Truth or Dare."

...

Kyle knew that they had to stop picking 'truth' eventually, but he was really comfortable where he was and had no desire to get up or move even an inch for any reason. "Truth," he said, shifting slightly against Cartman's chest.

...

Knowing in the back of his mind that his pungent truths were eventually going to lead to this, Eric inhaled deeply before he asked, "As of now, after everything that's happened between us, how do you perceive our relationship…" He swallowed a lump of nerves. "And with it, me?"

...

Kyle paused, unsure of how to answer such a question truthfully when he didn't really know the answer himself. In the back of his mind he knew something like this would come up eventually, and what better way than during a game where you had to be honest? But Cartman might not like what he had to say, and things almost never end well when people don't tell Cartman exactly what he wants to hear.

"Umm, I don't know. I guess… I've been having fun. I mean, some of the time. When it's good it's awesome, but it's us so it's not good all the time, obviously. And it's all been, you know, new and stuff. And it's you, so it's… dangerous, I guess. I don't really think about it, to be honest… I've kind of just been rolling with it," he said, shrugging. "So I guess it's just… a thing that seems to be working right now. And I just leave it at that."

"And you… I mean, you're… you. And… as much fun as today was and stuff… I can't just forget my entire life up to this point. I know you want me to forget everything you've done, but I can't. And I can't trust you," he continued quietly, feeling as though he was walking on eggshells. "And maybe… that adds to the appeal of being with you, you know, sexually. But the bottom line is that every time I open up about something, I know I'll regret it someday, and every time you seem to be opening up about something, I can't convince myself that it's not a lie or some game. And you can't tell me not to think this way because I have no reason _not_ to. So, I don't know. I honestly don't know if I could ever trust you."

He looked down, not at all wanting to look up and see Cartman's reaction. "I know that probably wasn't what you wanted to hear. Because I think you've been trying really hard not to be a dick and stuff. But I just… can't look past everything you've put me through. So… I don't know what this is," he concluded with a sigh.

...

Eric sunk his head down on top of Kyle's as he took in those words, thinking that half of them couldn't be true. If Kyle _really_ didn't trust him, he wouldn't have let him do half of the stuff that he's done while they were together. However, he also knew that Kyle probably didn't think too much when he allowed that stuff to happen, so maybe this was all just spur of the moment… maybe this didn't mean a thing to Kyle at all. But all Eric was concerned about at that point was the matter of Kyle actually being content with all of this. Essentially, if he was going to stay or not.

And Kyle just told him that he's rolling with it, and that it's working. So Eric was content, he… he had to be.

"I can live with that…" Eric replied quietly, nuzzling into Kyle's curls. "I know it'll take a while for you to trust me and… you know, perhaps even _like me, _so… I'm cool with what we have." He laughed nervously, lowering his voice to a devilish tone as he prodded, "Okay, your turn…"

...

Kyle slowly exhaled, relieved that Cartman didn't get angry about the things he said. Maybe the guy had changed after all – he asked for honesty, received honesty that he probably didn't want to hear, and seemed totally cool about it.

"Alright, truth or dare?"

...

Getting sick of all these truths, Eric nipped onto Kyle's neck playfully as he rolled off, "_Dare_."

...

Happy that the serious talks were apparently over, Kyle jumped up and immediately turned around to grin down at Cartman. "I'll be right back," he said, and then left the bedroom before Cartman had the chance to ask what he was up to.

He quietly walked downstairs and snuck by Cartman's mom, who was asleep on the couch with the TV still on. Once in the kitchen, he quietly set about making a lovely little concoction for Cartman to drink. Smirking to himself the entire time, he mixed milk, pickle juice, tomato juice, Sunny D, and hot sauce together in a small cup.

Once he was back in Cartman's bedroom with his invention, he handed the cup to Cartman. "I dare you to drink that entire thing without puking."

...

_**WHAT?**_

Eric was expecting Kyle to come back with something sexy… like chocolate sauce or something that they could use… BUT WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT CUP?

"Ugh!" Eric looked at the drink, which was this weird color that he couldn't even place – and it smelled like their school's cafeteria. "What the fuck is in that shit?"

...

"I'm not telling, that would ruin the fun," Kyle said, grinning wildly. He knew by the way Cartman had said 'dare' that he was fully expecting something sexual, which just made this all the more funny. "It won't kill you, don't worry."

...

"You do realize that you're going to have to sleep in the same bed as me… and if I get sick it's your fault?" Eric nervously reached over to grab the small cup. He figured he could probably chug it… and it would probably be better to do so. He looked back up at Kyle and asked, "For real?"

...

"Just do it," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. "Brush your teeth right after. The taste will be gone and you'll be fine. You know, you're the one who wanted a _dare_," he finished, mockingly emphasizing the last word the same way Cartman had before.

...

_Oh God here goes nothing,_ Eric thought to himself as he placed the glass against his lips, willing his nasal passages to close as he tilted the whole God damned cup up, IMMEDIATELY tasting some of what was inside as he choked down the concoction. He couldn't think too hard about what he was tasting, but he could definitely taste pickle, tomato, and like... and _hot sauce_?

Eric heaved once when he finished the stuff, slamming the glass down once as his face gave off this childish hurt, almost like he just got molested or something. He looked pained and deceived as he felt the contents of that cup drop down to his stomach, like a bomb had just gone off inside him, causing him to clench his mouth shut and close his eyes tightly. _I cannot vomit,_ he thought to himself as he tried to imagine that he just drank some Gatorade or something. But that wasn't working either. If anything it made him feel worse.

"Can I-" he burped suddenly, retasting some of the awful juice. "Can I please brush my teeth now?"

...

Kyle had been laughing hysterically since the cup first met Cartman's lips, absolutely reveling in the grossed out and shocked facial expressions he was making. "Y-yeah, go ahead," he gasped out, trying to bring his glee down to an acceptable level. The fact that Cartman actually drank the entire disgusting concoction, and then _asked Kyle's permission_ to brush his teeth after had to have been one of the highlights of his summer so far. He felt sadistic even thinking such a thing, but, fuck, it was _Cartman_. Regardless of what they'd done earlier that night or in the weeks leading up to this, Kyle felt he deserved this moment of joy.

When Cartman left the room, Kyle got into bed and tried desperately to stop laughing. He didn't want to humiliate Cartman much further, so he gradually brought himself down to mock apathy as he waited for Cartman to return.

...

Groggily stepping back into the room after brushing his teeth, Eric looked to his stomach as he announced, "I don't think this feeling will ever go away." He swallowed, desperately trying to spread the minty flavor of the toothpaste around as he ambled to the bed.

"I feel like... someone punched me from like… _inside_ my stomach," he tried to explain, crawling into his bed and turning off his lamp. "I'm going to fucking get you back for that, Jew." He turned his back to Kyle once he was under the covers, mad as all hell that THAT was the dare.

...

"Awwww, poor baby didn't get the dare he wanted," Kyle mocked, reaching up to run one hand through Cartman's hair. He laughed softly, thoroughly amused by how pissed off the brunet was over what just happened. He was giving Kyle the cold shoulder, even! "You know, it's called a dare for a reason – it's not _supposed_ to be enjoyable. For you, I mean. It was plenty enjoyable for me."

...

"Of course it was enjoyable for _you_!" Eric buried his head under the covers to put a stop to Kyle from touching his hair. "I essentially whored myself out to your wishes and drank that vile cup of – God knows what _Jew poison_ you gave me!" he complained, obviously distraught by the matter. "You're a sick puppy, you know that? I'm going to feel this for _days_…"

...

"Oh God, it was just a _game_!" Kyle said, his amusement quickly getting replaced with irritation. "Get over it! Everything you eat gets mixed together in your stomach anyway, it doesn't know the difference. It's all in your head."

He glared through the darkness at the big lump of blankets that contained Cartman. "Stop being such an overdramatic crybaby," he said before turning over to face the wall. "It's _**really**_ unattractive."

...

"Kahl?" Eric whined from underneath the covers, his voice muffled and out of pitch as he nudged himself closer to where his Jew was laying. "Could you perhaps… give me a tummy rub?"

...

"No, I'm not your fucking mother," Kyle muttered angrily without turning over.

...

"…Please?" Eric asked sincerely as he slowly turned over. "It'll really help me get to sleep." He popped his head out of the covers, looking ever so vulnerable as he nudged Kyle's back with his blanketed hand.

...

"I thought you were _mad_ at me for _forcing you_ to drink _Jew poison_," Kyle retorted mockingly as he turned over to glare at the brunet.

...

"Well, it _was_ pretty mean of you, but…" Eric rested his head against his pillow as he continued to whine, "All I want now is for my stomach to get back to normal…" He cringed as he felt it gurgle in protest.

...

"Seriously dude, it's all in your head. Your stomach doesn't give a shit about what's in it," Kyle answered sternly. This shit was _completely_ ruining the amusement he felt while the event unfolded. It wasn't fair of Cartman to ruin this for him. "Jesus, if I knew you'd be such a freaking _baby_ about it I would have dared you to make a prank call or something lame like that."

...

"Ugh, fine!" Eric suddenly dropped his whiny act as he rolled back over to face away from Kyle. "_I'm_ the bad guy because I drank your drink and then playfully asked you to help me feel a little better." He exhaled, getting situated in his spot as he dismissed, "See you in the morning."

...

"You weren't being _playful_, you were being an annoying dick!" Kyle protested, angrily turning back over. He glared holes in the wall as he went over how much _shit_ he did for Cartman's sake that day that he thought was incredibly embarrassing. And how many times over the years Cartman had tricked _him _into doing or saying something he later regretted. And how the one _fucking time_ Kyle made him do something gross, as part of a fucking _game_, when _no one else_ was around to see it, _he_ was suddenly the bad guy.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fucking _fair_. He let Cartman continually humiliate him and trick him into admitting things he wasn't ready to say. Kyle gave into his every fucking whim and was always the one to come crawling back after a fight, and the asshole couldn't even let him have this _one_ thing. This one minor, virtually insignificant victory. This one really fucking _stupid, pointless_ thing. Kyle knew that it didn't even make a bit of sense to be so mad about something so laughably stupid, but he just _was_.

He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to force himself to sleep. Maybe… maybe in the morning things would be ok again.

…

**A/N:** It's all fun and games until Cartman goes back to acting like the child Kyle always hated. :( Feedback is always loved!


	14. July 14th

**A/N:** Sorry for the wait everyone; things have been crazy with finishing up college and whatnot. But here it is, another lengthy chapter for you. :)

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Fourteen – Wednesday, July 14th

Eric had forgotten how absolutely absorbed with Kyle he was at this point, because when he woke up the morning after the awkward conclusion to their amazing day, his Jew was nowhere to be found. He had left without saying a word to him and the Muppet Pajamas were neatly folded on the side of the bed. Eric had no idea what to think of it – he couldn't believe that Kyle got so bent out of shape over him wanting a fucking tummy rub of all things, and it was HIS dare that warranted it!

Kyle's unpredictable turnarounds were starting to wear on Eric's nerves the more he thought about them, though surprisingly he had allowed for a lot of those turnarounds to pass without very much retaliation from his end. Eric didn't know whether that was due to the fact that he didn't want Kyle to turn around completely, or if he just wanted to see if Kyle would turn _back_ around on his own accord… and up until now that had been the case. Kyle came back nearly every time he turned away. So Eric knew that it would only be a matter of time until it happened again.

But he wasn't so sure if he just wanted to welcome Kyle back with open arms this time.

That Tuesday he stayed up all night deciding what he would do when Kyle would eventually come back to him; specifically whether he should be just like 'oh okay this is all new so I understand' or to show some fucking balls and say 'I'm sick of your wishy-washy attitude toward this and I want you to make up your damn mind'.

Lord knows he didn't want to turn Kyle away, but Eric also knew that he needed to keep Kyle under his thumb _somewhat_ to show some level of dominance and control. Kyle was the one who was confused; Eric knew EXACTLY what he wanted out of this.

Eric wanted to go to New York, and when he finally got there… well, maybe he didn't know _everything_ he wanted out of this. But regardless, he still wanted Kyle in close proximity. And the Jew was just like a sassy cat – Eric only had to wait until Kyle came to him, but once it happened, Eric wasn't going to pet him so readily, no. He was going to have Kyle work for it… which would hopefully work out.

Waking up Wednesday, Eric felt a tad stronger about his new plan and his reevaluated unattached attitude towards this whole thing. He wasn't going to look desperate anymore; he was going to show Kyle that he couldn't care less about this whole thing, that it was KYLE who wanted this… not him.

So he wasn't even going to think about Kyle that day! Instead, he occupied himself with a new video game that he bought a while ago and never had the chance to play. He was completely absorbed in it, but had his cell phone close by.

...

Kyle had a fucking miserable couple of days. Monday morning, he woke up in Cartman's bed and, for a moment, felt perfectly comfortable and at home there. But then he remembered how the night ended and got angry all over again. He didn't want to wake Cartman, because he didn't really want to talk to him. So he quietly made his way out of the bed… which ended up being a difficult task, seeing as he had been against the wall and kind of had to clamber over the wooden frame at the end of the bed to avoid climbing over Cartman. Then he got out of those fucking retarded pajamas (which seemed even more retarded in the light of day) and pulled on whatever pieces of clothing he could. He folded the pajamas and silently left the room to look for his t-shirt. Luckily, Cartman's mom left both of their shirts outside the bedroom door.

Once he was fully clothed, he left. He knew he probably should have woken Cartman up or at least left a note or something, but _technically_ Cartman heard him tell his mom he would be home early, so… whatever. _Not my problem_.

That day he felt determined never to speak to Cartman again until the fatass came _to him_ with an apology for acting like a sniveling fool the night before. And he spent the entire day trying to convince himself that he was in the right. That his irritation was justified. And that he was showing how strong he was by not backing down. He wanted Cartman to know that he wouldn't be the weak one.

But the next day, after sleeping on his anger, he wasn't so sure of his position. Yes, he had done a lot of embarrassing things that day that he didn't want to do. And he did them without much protest. At least, not much compared to his normal amount of protesting. But when it came down to it… he had fun at the fair doing those embarrassing things he didn't want to do.

But then there was his "reward" for his "good behavior" – jacking Cartman off, as if it was some kind of privilege. But he'd enjoyed that too. Though he still didn't consider it a _reward_, per se. And then there was the truth or dare thing. He'd answered all of Cartman's questions, as much as he didn't want to. He wasn't ready to explain where he stood on their… relationship-thing, and he wasn't ready to put his opinion on Cartman into words. But he tried anyway, because Cartman had asked him to. And that had really been the case since May – he'd done everything Cartman asked him to. He'd complained and said no a few times, but in the end he always gave in. He'd even called it quits a couple times, too… and he was always the one to come back. It was never Cartman.

So in a way he still felt justified in his anger. He asked Cartman to do something gross as a dare and Cartman did it without complaint. But then afterward he was bitching about it, whining like the pathetic child he once was. And Kyle wasn't about to baby him and encourage that kind of disgusting, unappealing behavior, though he knew full well that he would have put up a fuss about the dare if their positions were reversed. Maybe not in the same way, but he would have done a fair amount of bitching. But that was beside the point. He asked Cartman to do that one stupid thing and he couldn't do it without acting like it was the end of the world afterward. Yeah it was gross, but God damn it, fucking suck it up!

But he knew it was stupid. And he knew Cartman probably didn't understand why he was mad. Hell, Kyle barely understood it himself. He knew it was such a stupid thing to get into it over. _He knew that._ Logically. It was just a game, after all. A stupid game that Kyle had no interest in playing to begin with. And really, out of any battle he could have picked to stand his ground over, it probably couldn't have been a more pointless one.

So by Wednesday he knew that once again he would have to go crawling back to Cartman. He knew he wasn't _really_ in the right. Or maybe he was right for the wrong reasons. Or using the wrong incident as a vessel for his frustrations. Or some bullshit like that. Whatever it was, he knew Cartman wouldn't come to him, because… in his mind he probably thought he didn't have anything to apologize for. Cartman was good at reading people, yeah, but he wasn't a mind reader. Kyle couldn't really expect him to know what he was feeling or why he was feeling that way.

He had to give in. And apologize for being a bitch. And maybe try to explain himself if Cartman would let him. So when he was locked safely in his room, Kyle finally took out his phone and called him.

...

"UGH! God damn it! It's like they KNOW where I'm going!" Eric screamed at the screen as he lifted his controller to throw it at the television, but the second he brought his controller over his head he suddenly felt something vibrate next to him on the couch – it was his phone.

Pressing the start button to pause the game, Eric's heart sunk for a second as he hastily reached over to grab the phone to see who it was, and as he brought it up to his face, a jolt of electricity ran throughout his whole body when he read '_Kyle_'.

Inhaling deeply, Eric collected himself as he ran through his mental checklist on how he decided to handle this situation. Then with a determined breath, he flipped open his phone and with a painfully neutral voice called out, "Sup."

...

'_Sup'?_ That was it? No 'what the fuck do you want'? No 'well, well, well, look what the cat threw up in the litter box'?

Maybe Cartman didn't even know they were fighting. He sounded so apathetic. Or maybe he knew they were fighting and just didn't care. Kyle didn't know which scenario was worse.

"Um, hi," he said, voice sounding smaller than he meant it to. He cleared his throat and sat down on his bed. "I, uh, I wanted to… apologize… for the other night."

...

_An apology? How quaint._ "Yeah well, waking up to a bare room wasn't really what I expected after what I thought was a pretty awesome day," he responded, deciding not to bring up the whole belly rubbing thing.

...

"Yeah…" Kyle said as he began picking absentmindedly at a small tear in his comforter. "It just… ended weird. And I'm just… I guess I overreacted. So…" He trailed off, not really knowing what to say after that. He had a whole speech planned out and now that he was actually talking to Cartman, it seemed to have left his brain completely.

...

"Okay Kyle," Eric spoke out as soon as Kyle stopped talking, still maintaining his neutral tone as he bit his lip in contemplation. "If that's all… I'm kinda in the middle of something… can we talk about this later maybe?" He finished light heartedly, knowing that might have been a really dumb move – but in the back of his mind he had a feeling that Kyle might react in his favor. He knew it might turn the tides, because for the past three months, Eric had essentially wedged his way into Kyle's life at every chance he got. So to just back off willingly from it, when Kyle was essentially giving in? It might be a drastic enough change for Kyle to warrant a 'what the fuck' response.

...

"Oh, um, ok," Kyle replied, an embarrassed flush creeping into his cheeks. He'd never felt more stupid in his life. "… I just wanted to let you know… that I'm sorry. Is all. Have fun with… whatever you're doing."

He hung up quickly and closed his eyes. _What the hell just happened? _Cartman didn't even give him a chance to explain his side of the story. Not only that, but Kyle wasn't even sure if he _accepted_ the apology. The asshole just… completely brushed him off, like it wasn't important enough to waste a phone call on. Whatever he was doing, which, knowing Cartman, was probably either eating or playing video games, was more important than Kyle's attempt to make things better.

He flopped down to bury his face in his pillow. "FUCK!" he screamed, the sound effectively muffled by the fabric beneath him. How was it that he spent days trying to figure this out, swallowed his pride, and actually apologized… and Cartman didn't seem to give a flying fuck about it? _Kyle_ was the one who wanted this not to mean anything, in the beginning. Cartman was the one constantly asking questions and applying purpose to their relationship-thing. How did the tables get turned without Kyle even _knowing_? What kind of sick game _was this_?

But just as he tightened his grip on his phone to throw it across the room, it suddenly vibrated. He turned his face away from the pillow to look at the screen, assuming it was Stan calling him. He really didn't want to ignore his best friend but, God, he really couldn't talk right now.

But… it wasn't Stan. The screen clearly read 'Cartman'. _What the fuck?_

"What, do you have _time_ now?" he grumbled as he answered the call. He knew that having an attitude would only make things worse but at this point he didn't really care.

...

"How'd that make you feel Kyle?" Eric started, serious as all hell.

"I bet it made you feel pretty confused and downright idiotic, didn't it?" he confidently answered for him so he could get to his point. "You know… not knowing what's _really_ going on inside my head when the signals are there but the response just isn't right?"

He got up from the couch to turn off his game as he continued, "I just wanted you to know how it makes me feel when you pull that shit on me." He pursed his lips and turned around to make his way upstairs. "If you want to talk more about this, meet me at the bridge just outside of town… I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

...

Kyle couldn't believe what he just heard. It was just a game… a fucking _trick_. His face grew red again, but this time out of anger instead of embarrassment. "You know what? FUCK YOU!" he yelled into the phone before hanging up and roughly throwing it to the floor.

"Bubele? Are you ok?" he heard his mom call through the door after a moment. Of course she was fucking there within seconds. "Who are you yelling at?"

"No one mom," he responded as casually as he could, sitting up. "It's nothing."

"… Alright, just checking," she said, though she sounded like she didn't believe him. He didn't say anything else, and after a few moments he heard her walk away.

He propped his elbows on his knees and let his head fall into his hands. There were so many things wrong with what had just happened. So many things wrong with this whole_ fucking_ situation. There were _countless_ things wrong with Cartman and, fuck, Kyle knew he was pretty out of it too. No good could come from this, as was being consistently made obvious by their frequent falling-outs.

He had never felt more lost and confused and frustrated in his fucking life, and there was nothing he could do, _no one_ he could talk to about it. He thought about calling Stan and trying to explain everything, but he knew it would be a pointless venture. He already knew what Stan would say. And he already knew he wouldn't listen to Stan's advice. He hated feeling like he needed his best friend there to hold his hand and give him all the answers. He needed to be his own person. Stan wouldn't be there in New York, as Cartman had pointed out at the beginning of all this. And Stan couldn't be here for all of this. This thing with Cartman… this was something Kyle had to figure out on his own. Because no one, especially not Stan, could possibly understand. Kyle wasn't sure if even _he_ would ever understand.

He wondered if Cartman would still go to the bridge like he said, even though Kyle reacted the way he did. He probably would. He probably expected Kyle to go anyway. What would he do if Kyle never showed up? Would he come looking for him? Or would he go home and never speak to Kyle again? Either way, Kyle wasn't sure he could handle the consequences. Between duking it out with Cartman at the bridge, having his mother ask questions about why Cartman came to their house, and having all ties cut without ever having gotten the chance to sort things out… the choice was pretty obvious.

So he put on his shoes and told his mom he was going out for a while.

...

The moment Eric heard Kyle yell into the phone he knew he made the right decision – even when the call ended and he was left to himself again, Eric knew that he had gotten to Kyle. This was a good thing for him. He had to convince himself that, because now he knew that his Jew was so troubled and so frustratingly confused and there was really only one person who could help sort out that confusion – the person who had been helping him with it all along.

Eric smirked. This was going to be one hell of an encounter.

In preparation for it, Eric made sure to look extra alluring with what he chose to wear. Alongside the nicest jeans he owned, Eric picked out a simple brown dress shirt to throw on top of his plain olive t-shirt. Picking out a nicer pair of leather shoes, Eric brushed his hair, brushed his teeth, and essentially presented himself as though this was going to be the date of his LIFE even though he could hardly call this date.

But this encounter meant everything; it was like the final showdown and it was very possible that Kyle would finally let him in after all these pointless fights they'd be having.

Or they could have a massive fight with one of them getting thrown into the river.

Adding some final touches, Eric examined himself one last time in his bathroom mirror before deeming himself ready to go. Exiting his house, the determined brunet steadily made his way to his destination.

...

Kyle arrived at the bridge outside of town before Cartman did, which was probably a good thing because it gave him a chance to take a few deep breaths and try to calm himself. He didn't know why he felt so fucking enraged, but all he could think about doing was punching Cartman in the face. Or bursting into tears. Or both. Because really, it was true – he _had_ been going back and forth on Cartman. He'd changed his mind so many times, Cartman must think he was bi-polar. And maybe he was. But if he was, Cartman had made him that way.

Because after all, it wasn't _his_ fault that this was the most confusing thing ever. Cartman _made_ it that way by acting like a psychotic douchebag for years and years and then all of a sudden deciding it was more beneficial to get into Kyle's pants than to torture him. Anyone else would react the same way in Kyle's situation, right? No, scratch that, anyone else would have just said NO and walked away before anything happened. So maybe he _was_ crazy. It was a fucking difficult transition, going from enemies to… this. And Kyle couldn't trust Cartman at all. Fuck, he couldn't trust himself anymore either… he'd done so many things lately that he knew he shouldn't, it was like someone else was controlling him now. So, yeah, he was definitely just fucking crazy.

He found himself tossing pebbles and pieces of roadside trash into the river, as if that would help somehow. It didn't. So when Cartman finally joined him, he only glared at the boy, not really turning away from the railing. "Well?" he asked bitterly as he threw another piece of gravel.

...

Just arriving on the scene in time to see Kyle throw a rock far off the bridge, Eric decided not to jump into an argument right away as he simply puffed, "Hm." He nodded, impressed with how far his Jew threw that rock down. "You sure are good at throwing rocks…" he complimented, starting to laugh.

...

"Just say what you need to say, Cartman," Kyle said, throwing the brunet another glare. "Don't patronize me."

...

"I'm here for _you_, Jew," Eric said bluntly, looking down the river as he narrowed his eyes. "You're the one who called me this morning. Why don't _you_ tell _me_ what you need to say?"

...

"I apologized for the other night, and you fucking _blew me off_ without giving me a chance to explain," Kyle said, finally turning fully to face Cartman. "What more do you want from me?"

...

"I want you…" Eric paused, shifting his eyes over to finally glare down at Kyle. "To give your explanation."

"Here's your chance," he added quickly, taking one more step toward his seething redhead. "Go for it."

...

Kyle wasn't sure if he even wanted to explain anymore. What was the point? It wasn't like this whole thing would ever work out anyway.

But apparently Cartman was actually going to listen to him this time. So what the hell.

"I'm sorry for the other night," he said again, albeit more reluctantly this time. "I know it was a stupid thing to get mad over. But you have to understand… I've been doing shit for you since the start. I went to that German place. I went to the Pour House even though I told you I didn't want to go out in public. I believed you when you told me Butters was lying about the New York thing. And then the fucking fair…"

He sighed and leaned back against the bridge railing, looking away from Cartman. "I didn't even want to go, but I did because you were excited about it. I didn't want to eat funnel cake but I did because you wanted me to. I didn't want to go on the ferris wheel, but you wanted to so I did. I sure as hell didn't want to carry around that fucking girly ass toy because it was embarrassing as fuck, but I did, for you. And I really, really didn't want to go on the tunnel of love… but I did. I might have complained a bit but, _come on_, you know me, and it could have been _a lot_ worse."

He rolled his eyes at himself before continuing, "It's just… I know the stupid dare was gross and shit. And I know you did it without complaining. But the way you were acting like such a baby about it afterward… like saying I poisoned you on purpose and then whining at me to make it better. It just reminded me of… _you_. Back then. Back when we were kids and you would have rather let me die than give me a kidney. Back when you almost let me burn to death in Beaverton because you wanted my fucking _Jew gold_. And I just… I just _hated_ you again."

"And I hated myself for forgetting all of that. For… going out with you and letting you touch me and acting like there was no history between us. And that's my problem. I keep going back and forth, between reminding myself that you're _you_ and letting myself forget again, and then repeating… And I know, I just _know_, that if I let myself trust you, you'll fuck me over like always. But for some fucking reason, I always come back. God, I'm such a fuck up," he said, laughing slightly. "I must be a fucking masochist or something. Because _why the fuck am I here_? I know this will just happen again. I know it will, because we're us."

He finally looked back up at the brunet. "So yeah, I know it was stupid to get mad about a fucking drink and a fucking tummy rub, but I just… I didn't want to give in again. Because I can't… like… lose _myself_ in this. I feel like… this whole thing is unbalanced, because you're always one step ahead and you can read me like a book, and I'm so fucking _confused_ all the time. And I'm no match for you… you've always won. Always," he finished quietly, looking at the ground. "I guess that's why I'm trying so hard to push you away… I'm scared of what you'll do to me if I stop fighting you on everything."

...

God Eric didn't expect that kind of response, his eyes indicating his surprise as they narrowed in on Kyle like a deer in headlights. However, something irritated him about it. Kyle was signaling to him that he didn't want to fight anymore, and a part of Eric wanted him to do just that – but a part of him didn't.

Especially when Kyle said the whole 'you always win' bit. What the fuck was that supposed to mean? Was he actually acknowledging that Eric was _better_ than him? Damn it felt weird to hear that! Eric thought that to finally have Kyle go ahead and say 'okay Cartman, you win' would be awesome… BUT IT WASN'T! It was anything but! Kyle's desolate and confused state annoyed the hell out of him! Why couldn't the Jew just choose an action and ROLL WITH IT? What was in the way? Was it really their past? He was never confused before! What was so difficult about this?

This wasn't making any sense to Eric. Now _he_ started to feel confused. To hear Kyle, who was usually so determined and ready to kick his ass at any given moment, say 'and I'm no match for you… you've always won' was FUCKING NONSENSE!

"For Christ's sake Kyle, listen to yourself!" Eric cried out in desperation, really getting turned off by Kyle's dormancy. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you really this off the course?" he argued, trying to incite something in the redhead. He started to breathe heavily, not knowing what to do otherwise. "For the love of God, one of the reasons I was so drawn to you in the first place is because you always seemed to know what was going to happen and how it was going to play out! Your sense of logic was seemingly flawless and dear God, I was actually envious of you at times!" He puffed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"I just…" he continued, arms falling back down. "I liked throwing cogs in your plans because it was always amazing to see you work your way around them… and you always did!" He smiled aimlessly and shook his head. "That's just you, Kyle! You find solutions to problems no matter how difficult they are!"

Finally approaching Kyle to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, Eric gazed into his eyes as he revealed, "And even if you crushed me and _my_ plans, I loved knowing that there was only one person who could ever do that." He brought his other hand to cup Kyle's cheek, laughing slightly. "It's you Kyle… _it's always been you_."

...

"That… isn't the point… at all," Kyle replied, backing away from Cartman. "This shouldn't be fucking _about_ crushing each other's plans, don't you get it? I don't _want_ it to be a game of who can beat who and who gets the bragging rights. If we're going to do this… it _can't_ be like that. It can't be a war… I don't think I could take it."

"I'm just… I'm tired. I'm tired of not knowing what I want and I'm tired of being afraid of you. I'm tired of fighting and running away and running back," Kyle said slowly, crossing his arms. "This confusion is so _exhausting_ and I don't know how to make it just _go away_."

He sighed and looked up into Cartman's eyes. "It's just… I want you, but I don't want to want you. Because I feel like I'm going against myself and my family and my people and like, the fucking _cosmos_. Because… and maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but God damn it Cartman, do you even _realize_ what you put me through over the years?" He dropped his arms in defeat. "It just… it amazes me that you don't seem to understand why this is so hard for me."

...

Eric's heart jumped when he actually heard Kyle say that he '_wanted_' him. Yet the bit about this not being a game was terribly wrong, because Eric wasn't the one making it a game, KYLE was. "What do mean? You think I want to make this into some idiotic game?" Eric replied lightly, keeping eye contact with Kyle.

"YOU'RE the one who keeps backing up and complicating things when they're elevating!" he argued, suddenly clenching his teeth. "I know you're used to just throwing the blame at me when everything seems wrong but, take a look at us for a moment." He closed the gap between them again. "Sure we've been through hell and back, but that's because we're polar opposites, and that's what I meant when I said you're the only one who can defeat me… because you're the only person who GETS me." Eric silently pleaded with Kyle to understand, gingerly taking one of his hands before laughing slightly. "I really didn't intend to frame that statement in a combative context, but I'm not surprised you went there."

His amusement quickly faded, though, and Eric tugged Kyle closer. "To apologize for everything I've ever done to you… would, I think, take back everything that I feel has given you the strength and determination to be the very fucking best you can be. I'm confident that no one you will ever know or _have known_ in your whole life could ever bring the best out of you like I have."

…_and hopefully will_ Eric added silently as he brought Kyle in for a tight embrace, never wanting to let go. "Because, Kyle, I'm sure that I'm the only fucking one who gets _you_."

...

Kyle desperately pushed Cartman away from him, a sudden surge of anger coming on. "What, so you think that because I'm not some fucking pathetic pile of shit, that makes what you've done to me FUCKING _OKAY_?" he yelled, moving forward to push Cartman back again. "NEWSFLASH, CARTMAN! I'M NOT THE WAY I AM _BECAUSE_ OF YOU; I'M THE WAY I AM _IN SPITE_ OF YOU!"

Then he laughed and brought a hand to his forehead. "No, what am I saying? 'In spite of you!' That's still fucking giving you credit! Seriously, Cartman, do you think you fucking _created me_ or something? Like I'm some project that turned out just how you wanted it to?" he accused, no longer laughing.

"And I'm not TRYING to make this into a game, asshole! I'm backing off every fucking time you act like you're my fucking _boyfriend_, because you've made me SO FUCKING _PARANOID_! EVERYTHING YOU FUCKING DO SEEMS LIKE IT SHOULD BE A TRICK! _THAT'S_ WHY I HAVE ALL THESE WALLS UP, FUCKFACE!" he cried, shoving Cartman again. "THIS IS _YOUR_ FAULT! _NOT MINE!_"

...

After Kyle shoved him that last time, Eric grabbed him by the neck with lightning speed, not choking him but definitely holding him firmly, to bring him in closer again as his eyes flared open ravenously.

He then lowered his face to Kyle's. "Listen to you yell like that. Listen to that unquenchable rage which powers you so magnificently," he cooed, sounding quite ominous but also hysterical and unpredictable, like a coiled snake just seconds from its attack. "Imagine yourself without it… how mundane your life would be." Eric himself tried to picture it, still keeping Kyle under his control with an almost supernatural amount of force in his calm state. "As I've said before, I can't take all of the credit – I mean, what fun would that be?" He cackled, almost sounding evil as he kept staring at Kyle as though he was going to consume his soul.

"Kyle, I'm giving you a chance…" he announced, letting go of the redhead somewhat as he maintained his maniacal gaze. "I'm giving you a chance to transform all of your inner turmoil; a chance to transform all of that pent up tension that's been crippling you for these past few agonizing years that we've been all but separated." He let go of Kyle completely. "A chance to transform all of those violent emotions… into something much more compelling." He took the hand that had been holding Kyle's neck and brought it up to his face to trace his jaw line. "Something much more… _binding_."

"And who's to say…" Eric suddenly calmed down, stepping away from Kyle as he lifted his brow in interest. "That I'll be the one holding the reigns?"

...

Kyle backed away from Cartman, eyes wide with fear and surprise as his hands went up to gingerly touch his neck. _The fuck. Was that._

"What – what are you talking about?" he asked, not daring to break eye contact with the brunet.

...

Sealing the gap once more, Eric maintained that dark and eerie aura as he reached out both of his arms to grab Kyle's waist and pull him back into him. "_This,_ Kyle." He leaned in closer, only an inch separating them. "What this is to us. _What this can become_. You're only thinking in parameters of 'me getting my way' versus 'you not getting yours'," he explained, leaning against one of the bridge lamps as a cold breeze rushed down the mountain river. "The bigger picture here is much more than I think you can handle at this time, unfortunately, but you've given me signals that you understand."

He tapped his fingers on Kyle's hip as he eyed his Jew suggestively. "Like the way you looked at me after you jacked me off in my car, and then the way you were grinning at me when I drank that drink of yours… you have the capability, but you're not allowing yourself to completely _go_ there," he spoke the end of that sentence a little louder before resting his head against Kyle's forehead. 

"This isn't a game. It doesn't necessarily even have to be a battle of wits," he assured, knowing that issue was one of the main problems Kyle was having. As much as it pained him to say it, he knew that his next statement might convince Kyle to stick around. So he reluctantly added, "It's about control Kyle, and as much as I don't like to admit it, I'm starting to think that you're becoming aware of how much control you have over _me_."

...

"What?" Kyle asked, leaning into Cartman despite his previous anger and fear. He brought his arms up to wrap around the brunet's chest before looking up with an expression of disbelief. "What are you talking about? How do I have _any _control over you?

...

"I can't answer all of your questions for you Kyle…" Eric laughed lightly as a breeze passed through the bridge, ruffling up their hair. "That's something you're going to have to find out yourself, you sneaky cheater." He then shrugged. "But frankly, I don't even know." He then smiled sheepishly.

As he brought Kyle's waist a little closer to his own, their crotches touching ever so slightly as his hands possessively kept his Jew in place, Eric's overpowering demeanor returned to him. "But you cannot deny that you felt it then, can you?" he spoke softly, bringing up one of his hands to play with Kyle's red curls. "When you had me under you looking so…" Eric tugged one of them in spite as he growled, "_helpless_." He let go, regaining his composure "I think you understood then."

...

A shudder ran through Kyle as the brunet's words hit him. He _did_ feel something then. And he felt something the times Cartman had touched him. And when he had tried to distract Cartman from his Xbox game that one afternoon. Maybe that 'something' was… control. He had never thought of himself as very attractive or possessing much sex appeal, but in those moments he _had _felt some sort of… sexual power over the other boy. And that was a type of control, right? So maybe… things weren't so unbalanced after all. Maybe he _could_ keep up, just in his own way.

He smiled slightly as he tightened his hold on Cartman. Resting his cheek against the brunet's collarbone, he suddenly let out a small laugh. "How the hell did I go from screaming at you to _this_?" he asked, almost certain that if anyone had been looking in on this whole exchange, both he and Cartman would definitely be labeled crazy.

...

Smiling to himself as he nuzzled into Kyle's hair, Eric marveled at how awesome he was and laughed quietly. "Because, may I remind you, you're not the _only_ one with control here…" he growled provocatively before hastily bringing his Jew's face up to his so he could possessively latch his lips onto Kyle's, laying claim once more to the warm mouth he coveted so intensely.

...

Kyle hummed against Cartman's mouth, inwardly cursing the bastard's skill at manipulation. But, fuck it, this was better than arguing so he'd let it slide for now. Deepening the kiss, he brought his arms up to wrap around Cartman's neck and urgently pressed his body into the larger boy's as he felt their tongues brush together.

...

Eric laughed ever so subtly into the kiss, happy with this turn around despite having to reveal that tidbit about his Jew having control over him. But as this eventful encounter just revealed, Eric was _surely_ in possession of most of it… he just had to be.

Yet as he leaned in more, trying to assert more dominance, he heard a horridly familiar voice call out from the other side of the bridge.

"Dude, I heard the expression 'loving your enemy' but… you guys just took it to the next level, didn't you?"

Whipping his head around in disbelief, Eric saw Kenny leaning against the other side of the bridge, staring at them with the most smug assface grin he had ever seen in his life.

...

Kyle practically leapt away from Cartman the moment he heard Kenny's voice. "Oh my fucking God," he gasped, half scared shitless and half embarrassed as all hell. He blushed profusely as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Oh, hey Kenny," he said as casually as he could. "Didn't see you there."

...

"SO!" Kenny cheered as he ambled over to the two 'entranced' teens. "My hunches were correct, and you two have picked up a rather 'productive' way to handle your abundance of 'tension'." He wasn't trying to start anything, but was definitely curious about his two friends' state of affairs.

"For once in your life Kenny, mind your own business!" Eric yelled, reaching out to bring Kyle in closer. "We have this under control." He intentionally rose his voice at that last bit, knowing Kyle would understand.

...

"Yeah," Kyle said, trying to edge out of Cartman's grasp without calling any attention to himself. He wasn't too enthralled by the idea of PDA to begin with, but _especially_ not when Kenny was looking at them like that. "Under control. Nice seeing you though."

...

"Oh don't think you guys can just brush me off so easily!" Kenny combated, taking another step closer to his two friends. "You guys… um, want to, uh… come out eventually… right? Why don't you practice on me?" He smiled brightly, raising a hand up to merrily point away from the river. "Let's get off this cold bridge and go somewhere more comfortable." He had the perfect place in mind too, a place where no one would see or hear their conversation. Well, no one who _cared_.

"Practice?" Eric screwed up his face in confusion. "How would that be practice? You obviously don't really care about Kyle and I together. The people we would have to tell would be a lot harder on us, Ken," he informed with a slight negative tone, hanging his head slightly.

"Well at least you'll know what to say! Gather your thoughts, if you will," Kenny cheered again, determined to find out more as he turned to look at Kyle. "You guys need an ally, and until one of you gets hurt… I'd be willing to assist," he offered, giving his redheaded friend a comforting smile.

...

"What makes you think anyone's getting hurt?" Kyle asked, defensively moving closer to Cartman as if to prove to Kenny that he wasn't afraid. Though really, Kenny's little implication, intended or not, hit him right at the center of his fears. But if this was going to work out, he had to take a chance.

"I appreciate the offer, Kenny," he continued, realizing that his previous question sounded too accusatory. "But, we can figure it out on our own… when the time comes."

...

"I don't think that's such a smart idea Kyle, because lord knows, what if it was Stan who caught you on this bridge? Or your_ mother_? You would probably be rendered speechless," Kenny argued with a concerned tone, indicating his understanding in the matter. He then looked over to Eric, hoping that he would get how serious this was. "Let me help out guys, it can't hurt."

Eric exhaled solemnly once he played out how this could have ended if it _was_ Kyle's mom – everything would have been ruined and his life… would be a mess of nothing. So after briefly closing his eyes in frustration, Eric looked down to Kyle with a sad smile as he asked openly, "Wanna give it a shot?"

...

Kyle sighed, knowing that Kenny was right. They were actually very fortunate that Kenny happened to be the one to interrupt them. Of all people, he was by far the best case scenario. Kyle didn't even want to think about what would have resulted if it were Stan. As for his mother… well, Cartman's corpse would have probably washed up on the shore of some town down the river.

"Well, I guess…" Kyle conceded, looking from Cartman to Kenny. "I don't really have much of a choice."

...

Once Kyle and Cartman agreed to talk with him, Kenny calmly led them to a house nearby which didn't call too much attention to itself and was certainly far enough away from where there would be a lot of people. The house belonged to a dear friend of his who has helped him in more ways than one, but has hardly helped anyone else, thus why she moved far away from the crowd.

They walked down the quiet street towards the stately but somewhat abandoned apartment and townhouse complex. Once they got to the house, Kenny made sure Eric and Kyle were close by as he walked up the stoop to the front door and knocked on it lightly.

"Who is it?" a young voice cried out from the other side of the door.

Sounding quite agitated, Kenny yelled back, "Cool your jets, Georgie. Is Henrietta home?"

"Oh, it's you," Georgie grumbled, peering through the peephole in the door. He then flung it open with one hand while taking a puff of his cigarette with the other. "She's making dinner… Ethan and Dylan are still at work."

"I thought I heard them say they were going to quit their jobs and start up a record store," Kenny joked as he signaled to Cartman and Kyle to come in. They both followed him hesitantly.

"Well they also said they wanted to drive all the way to Mexico to buy a year's supply of cigarettes for a third of the price – and here we are, still smoking six dollar packs," the kid replied as he disappeared into another room. "Hen!" he called out. "Kenny's here and he brought some guests."

"Is that so?" Henrietta called back, turning off the stove's boiler to pause her and Georgie's dinner so she could walk into the other room. "Without calling me or anything?" she joked as she entered the foyer, staring at Kenny with an irritated look. "What do I look like, an inn keeper?"

"Hen Hen," Kenny rolled his eyes, nodding to his friends. "It's kind of urgent! And I know how comfortable your room is downstairs… and how _away_ it is from everything." He walked up to her, nudging her shoulder as he puffed, "And let's not forget the information I got for you while I was in R'lyeh."

Henrietta rolled her eyes as she turned around to enter the kitchen again. "Fine fine, invade my personal space," she said sardonically, briefly eyeing the two other boys, who she recognized somewhat. "Just don't mess up my sheets, I just washed them."

"It's not like that, Hen…" Kenny scoffed as he walked over to Henrietta's bedroom door, opening it up to reveal a staircase. "Okay, coast is clear, let's go," he called back to Cartman and Kyle before starting to walk down. 

Eric peered down at Kyle with a skeptical look as he whispered, "Oh God what the fuck is going on…"

...

Kyle only shrugged, afraid to speak or make any sudden movements in the company of the Goth kids, even if it was only two of them. They'd always creeped him out to some degree, but knowing that they were all living together on the outskirts of town doing God-knows-what… what the hell was Kenny getting them into? And why the hell was Kenny so familiar with them, anyway?

"Maybe he's going to perform an exorcism on us," he whispered as they followed Kenny down the steps into the dark room below.

...

"Oh God, don't even joke about that," Eric said, shuddering as they reached the bottom of the stairs. He eyed the room very wearily and took in the decorations; the room was dimly lit with Gothic posters and other decorations lining the dark purple walls, but it was very well kept and the numerous bookcases indicated that this girl was obviously well read. Kenny sat down in the sort of lounge area in the corner that looked like it was purposely designed for discussions.

"Come on over and take a seat," Kenny said, beckoning to the couch across from him as he relaxed into his big sofa chair. "Why don't you guys start from square one?"

Eric hesitantly walked over to sit on one side of the couch and looked over to Kyle. "Well," he paused, waiting for Kyle to sit down next to him. "I guess you can say it started when I realized that I needed to get my act together and do something with my life." He put his hands in his lap and inhaled deeply. "So I talked to Kyle and he agreed to tutor me in some of my harder classes – albeit reluctantly at first." He laughed, giving Kyle a nervous look and smiling sheepishly.

"Hm, interesting," Kenny said, looking over to Kyle. "What convinced you to actually go through with it? You still hated him at the time right?"

...

"Um, I guess he just seemed… sincere about it," Kyle said, shrugging. This whole thing seemed so awkward. He didn't really want to tell Kenny every detail of what they'd been through or, worse, _done together_. And an understanding friend was a far cry from his mother, so he didn't see how it would prepare them for anything. "And I figured, if I could survive it, it would look good on college applications. You know, if his grades actually improved."

...

"But when did that change? Like… when did it go from tutoring to…" Kenny motioned to them with his hands. "This?"

Eric coughed and blushed slightly. "I just think the tension just got the best of us," He lied, obviously not ready to explain his real feelings. Then he laughed. "I just found myself overwhelmed with something, and I could tell that Kyle… had his own doubts, so… _I kissed him_," he admitted, fidgeting in his seat. "I know it was ballsy but, I couldn't just sit there with this thing I can't explain looming over our heads."

"Oh God, really? Like out of the blue?" Kenny smiled brightly and gave Kyle a look of astonishment. "What did you do, Kyle? Punch him in the face?"

...

"I don't… really remember," Kyle lied, blushing furiously. He didn't want to tell Kenny that he'd reciprocated, and that they'd… could that even be _called_ making out? It was more like dry humping. He hadn't really given much thought to that first time they'd kissed because there were other things plaguing his mind, but now that he thought about it... God, Kenny would think he was a slut.

"Umm," he added once he realized that Kenny was probably waiting for a better answer. _God damn it_. "I guess I… pushed him away… at first."

...

Kenny nodded, still really weirded out by everything. "That's obviously changed… so do you guys still hate each other? Or…"

"Oh we do… to some extent. It's just… we found better things to do with our rage than mindless bickering," Eric reasoned, sliding his arm over to subtly place it on the back of the couch behind Kyle's head. "That's all there really is to it, honestly. I'm sorry if you were expecting some drawn out love story, but even we're still a little... confused as to how it all happened."

"So you're boyfriends now and you're totally okay with it?" Kenny joked, looking to Kyle for some sort of wild response. Eric just cracked a skeptical smile as he too looked to Kyle with an amused smirk.

...

"Um, well, I wouldn't call it… that," Kyle said, blushing more. The idea of being 'boyfriends'… it just didn't seem to fit them. "It's more like… um." He looked to Cartman for answers and didn't get any. "I don't really know."

He looked back to Kenny and bit his lip. "But… yeah. I guess we're ok with it," he said quietly, but his statement reminded him of how badly the day started. "Now."

...

"Something along the lines of a significant other…" Eric tried to place it, but even that sounded too weird, so he shook his head. "It's just way too complicated to place. I think you get why." He gave Kenny a weird look which indicated his knowledge of the blond's ability to pick up on things.

"Oh I get why," Kenny spoke up, sinking into his couch before slumping forward slightly. "It's weird as fuck, but for some reason… not too surprising." He tapped his fingers on the arm of the sofa as he ventured on, "So am I really the only one who knows?"

...

"Yes, so please don't tell anyone," Kyle said, a hint of desperation in his voice. He couldn't afford having too many people find out. He was surprised there weren't already rumors spreading, considering that Craig and Tweek saw them together at the coffee house.

"At least… I think no one else knows," he added, looking up at Cartman. "Right?"

...

Eric cringed a tad, knowing that there _was_ one other person who knew. "I hate to say it but…" He crossed his legs. "I think Butters may know."

"Butters?" Kenny asked, not really sure how to take that. "Why's that?"

"Because," Eric sighed, knowing that he still couldn't tell the whole truth. "He's been pursuing me for a while and actually tried to separate me and Kyle at one point by telling him a lie that I was trying to like, follow him to NYU or something." He shifted his eyes, and Kenny picked up on his nervousness immediately.

"Huh, that's odd for Butters to do… seeing as though he's a terrible liar and well, I'd think that someone as smart and perceptive as Kyle would pick up on it," he said skeptically, shifting his focus back to the redhead. Eric glared at him like he was going to bolt up from the couch and strangle him.

...

"Um, well, people can do pretty crazy things when they think they're losing someone," Kyle said, once again thinking back to the kind of hissy fits he once threw over Stan's relationship with Wendy before turning to glare at Cartman. "But _why_ would you fucking tell Butters? He'll probably tell _everyone!_"

...

"I didn't tell Butters! That's the thing! He just… I guess…" Eric looked around for an answer. "I think he just picked up on it somehow."

"Eric, you're lying through your teeth. Be honest with Kyle right now," Kenny demanded, not willing to let Eric get away with this when he and Kyle were supposed to be 'together'.

"**Fuck you** Kenny, **seriously**. There isn't anything else," Eric growled as he lunged forward in his seat, not willing to risk the NYU plan. "We told you everything you need to know." He brought out his hand to count down. "We're together, we're still on the DL, we're _okay_ with this, and Butters might know since he's after me and probably stalks me. There is no trickery anymore. I'm past that shit." He leaned back into the couch, taking Kyle's hand into his possessively as he glared holes into Kenny's head.

However, Kenny was still deeply concerned. He could tell that Eric wasn't being honest about something, but he also knew that Kyle seemed comfortable in this relationship for some reason. So, frowning nervously, he shifted his eyes over to the redhead and asked gently, "Do you believe him?"

...

Kyle didn't know. He didn't know if he believed him. He knew that he _wanted_ to believe him, but he also knew at Kenny obviously didn't. And Kenny rarely fell for Cartman's shit. Kyle, on the other hand, normally _did,_ despite his attempts not to. So who should be trusted here?

"I… I don't know," Kyle said and the hand Cartman held shifted uneasily. He looked at the brunet. "Should I?"

...

"Of course you should," Eric narrowed his eyes, almost offended. "Everything that I have been doing and will keep doing is only to benefit our relationship, I can ensure you that," he promised, knowing that, at least, was the truth as he tightened his grip on Kyle's hand and gave him a calming smile. "What have I done during this time to convince you otherwise?"

"Like following Kyle to NYU?" Kenny laughed to himself as he further pushed the issue.

Eric whipped his head around as he snapped at Kenny, "Not necessarily!" He clenched his teeth, looking back to Kyle to soothe, "You know I don't really know exactly _where_ I want to go yet."

…

"But… Kenny doesn't think you're telling me the truth," Kyle argued, giving the blond a side glance. "And he's good at that stuff… I don't know."

He felt confused all over again. Being presented with the new information that Butters knew about them, as well as being reminded of what Butters claimed was Cartman's plan… and now with Kenny's clear disbelief… he didn't know what to think.

...

Giving off a worried frown, Eric peered over to Kenny. "Listen Ken," he exhaled. "I'll admit, Butters may have known because… I did talk to him somewhat about… this whole thing, you know… before I knew it would actually _work_. And it wasn't malicious, I swear." He moved his hand from the back of the couch to rub his Jew's shoulder. "He was just the only person who I could talk to about this… or at least that's how I felt."

Kenny could tell that Eric was actually sincere about that, so he nodded. "Well, okay… I guess that's understandable." _And pathetic_. "But you guys better watch out for him. I'll keep tabs too, but…" He shrugged, frowning. "He can be unpredictable at times, especially if he's upset."

Lowering his head to press his forehead against Kyle's, Eric spoke out, "That's the truth, I swear." Suddenly smiling, he laughed lightly. "And don't worry about Butters, honestly. I'll beat the living hell out of him if he tries anything."

...

"I'm not worried about Butters," Kyle said defensively. He pulled away from Cartman, uncomfortable about having such close proximity in front of Kenny, and laughed dismissively. "Like _he_ could do anything to _me_."

He then shot a half-hearted glare at Cartman. "And you don't need to beat anyone up for my sake, I'm not some chick. I can handle shit myself."

...

"Psshhh no need to get defensive, JP," Eric teased, giving Kyle some space as he gave Kenny a dismissive look. "Okay Sherlock… are you done with your inquisition? Or can Kyle and I get back to sucking each other's dicks?" He grinned, knowing that Kyle would flip.

...

"DUDE!" Kyle exclaimed, casting Cartman an incredulous look. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

He frantically looked at Kenny, blushing for what felt like the hundredth time that day. "That's not – we haven't – he's just being an asshole!" he stammered, putting his hands up.

...

Kenny actually started to laugh as he shot Eric a pleased look. "I wouldn't be surprised, Lardass…" He perked his eyebrow, inhaling as he stood up. "Don't worry Kyle. Regardless of the true nature of your relationship with fatso here, the secret's safe with me," he assured, motioning to the door. "Come on, I'll walk you guys back to town."

"Your freak out was probably more revealing than my obvious joke_ Jewboy_," Eric whispered amusedly before getting up from the couch.

...

"But we _haven't,_" Kyle shot back before standing up as well. He turned to follow Kenny, feeling partially relieved that at least there was someone who knew what was going on and who he could talk to if things got weird or bad. But at the same time, despite Kenny's promise of secrecy, his anxiety over people finding out had definitely increased.

"Um, Kenny?" he asked, stopping the blond before he could ascend the stairs. "How… and when, do you think I should… you know, talk to Stan?

...

Kenny stopped and turned around as he pondered for a second. "To be completely honest?" He inhaled, looking over to Cartman as he suggested, "I think all four of us need to be present when that happens… Because if it's just you and him I think he might freak out more than if Cartman and I are there too, with me moderating and Cartman available to answer questions if he needs to."

Eric scoffed as he crossed his arms into his chest. "I won't fucking answer anything that douchebag asks me. It's none of his business." He looked away from both Kyle and Kenny defensively.

...

"Why can't you just be understanding for _once_?" Kyle snapped at Cartman. "I'm scared shitless of how Stan will react to this, so maybe I _would_ want you and Kenny there for this. But not if you're going to be a dick about it."

He bit his lip and looked over at Kenny. "It's been harder than I expected it to be… doing things behind his back and, like, not going to him when I feel confused," he said, feeling stupid now that he said it out loud. "So I… sometimes I feel like he should know, but I know he won't be happy. At all."

...

Kenny gave Kyle a confident smile as he assured, "Don't worry Kyle. I know it must be really weird to not have him around while you're going through such a new transition, so when you feel comfortable enough to talk to him, you just come to me and we'll arrange it. If he sees how happy you are he can't be too upset. However…" He turned to shoot Cartman a serious glare. "It's PARAMOUNT that you be there to be supportive, _Eric_." He wanted to get in the larger boy's face as he made his point, "It's part of being in a relationship – being there for the other person and _helping_ him through shit even if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

Crossing his arms defensively, Eric looked to the floor with a pitiful pout as he muttered, "Fine, I'll be there." He shifted his eyes to glare at Kyle. "But if he starts throwing punches or saying shit to piss either of us off, I'll show him no mercy."

"Well if he does say shit like that, or God forbid start throwing punches, maybe he'll deserve it," Kenny joked, trying to lighten the situation as he looked back to Kyle. "Is that okay? Do you think you can do that?"

...

"Um, yeah, maybe," Kyle nodded, though still unsure. Part of him never wanted Stan to know. "Just… later. Some other time."

At least Kenny seemed to understand why it was a big deal for him to break this to Stan. But he _didn't_ seem to get how badly Stan was sure to take it. Cartman was right. It was highly likely that he _would_ start 'saying shit and throwing punches'. And Kyle wouldn't blame him, especially after how he'd kept him in the dark for months. There was just no way it would be anything less than the worst conversation ever, and he wanted to put it off for as long as possible, despite that it would surely just make things worse later.

Sighing, he walked by Kenny to head out of Henrietta's room and up the stairs

...

Once the three of them got outside, Kenny looked to Eric and smiled. "So, I guess you guys… have fun. Eric, you take care of him okay? Lord help you if you fuck up…" he warned with a slightly serious tone. "Because not only will I be on your case but I'm pretty sure Kyle would _destroy _you."

"Oh I'm aware," Eric agreed, peering down to Kyle with an amused look as he brought up one of his hands to pat his head. "But as I said before, we have this under control." He gave Kyle subtly seductive look.

Kenny actually caught the look and subsequently glanced over to Kyle. "And you, Kyle, don't be afraid to really sock it to him if you have to. And remember I'm always a phone call and a couple houses away."

...

"Kenny, it's fine," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. "You make it seem like I'm running away with an ex-con."

Then he laughed, realizing that in a lot of ways that was exactly what was happening. "Well… whatever. It's fine. I'm fine. We're fine," he said, trying to reassure both Kenny and himself, as well as get Kenny off their backs.

...

"Okay Kyle, you kids have fun." Kenny turned around to walk down the street. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do… which isn't a lot." He looked back to give them both a wink before continuing his walk to wherever he needed to go.

Eric smirked as he watched Kenny walk away, placing a hand on Kyle shoulder. "So! What's on the agenda today?" he asked, looking down at Kyle as he brought his other hand up to his mouth to tap his lip in contemplation. "You were saying how we haven't, you know… _done some things?"_ He quickly moved the hand that was on Kyle's shoulder down to his ass to give it a slap. "How about we fix that, hmm?"

...

Kyle jumped forward, Cartman's little ass slap having taken him completely by surprise. "That's so…. Inappropriate!" he said, crossing his arms as he looked up at the brunet. Though he couldn't lie, the idea of picking up where they had left off when Kenny interrupted them _was_ appealing. He bit his lip. "I told my mom I'd only be out for a little while…"

...

"Well… how long do you think you'd last?" Eric gave Kyle a suggestive grin, nodding toward a vacant alleyway.

...

Kyle narrowed his eyes and followed the brunet's gaze. "Cartman!" he exclaimed, quickly turning back with a glare. "We can't do that _out in the open_! It's the middle of the day, people could see!"

He rolled his eyes, not believing how crazy and stupid Cartman was. "Besides, do you _really_ want to take this to the next level in an _alleyway_?"

...

"Isn't it dangerous?" Eric suggested, giving Kyle a little mischievous nudge. "I just thought that the whole spur-of-the-moment, daring, so-wrong-but-so-right aspect of it would be…" He lowered his eyelids. "Appealing?"

...

"I…" Kyle began, feeling his face flush. "Um… maybe a little."

...

Eric immediately took Kyle's hand and pulled him into the alley, sprinting to the corner of the shop to their left to hide behind the back of the building. Then, not giving him a chance to protest or back out, Eric shoved Kyle against the brick building and forcefully took his Jew's mouth into his own, grinding his body against him as he hovered over the redhead like a predator over its prey. After that whole control speech, Eric wanted to make it abundantly clear who had the most pull in this relationship. By keeping Kyle firmly in his grasp, the brunet was sure that message was coming across just fine.

...

Kyle eagerly responded to the kiss, allowing Cartman to hold him forcefully against the wall. He wondered vaguely how a conversation involving Butters stalking him and Stan shitting bricks could have possibly put Cartman into this mood, but… he supposed it didn't matter. What mattered was that the fatass was completely right – Kyle felt an amazing adrenaline rush coming on from doing this out in the open where anyone could walk by. Because… really, what was the point in having a secret affair if caution wasn't thrown to the wind once in a while?

...

Knowing for certain that his Jew was definitely into this now, Eric slid his hand from the brick wall down to other boy's hip, resting it there for only a mere second before shifting it over to Kyle's fly. He chuckled into the kiss as he tugged it down.

...

Kyle let out a small moan and bucked his hips against Cartman's hand. "We… we shouldn't," he mumbled half-heartedly against the brunet's mouth.

...

"Oh but we _should_," Eric combated, pulling Kyle's pants down slightly to reveal his boxers before sliding his hand down to bring out his cock. "How about this?" he whispered into Kyle's neck, giving him a couple teasing pumps. "Because you're being so good, why I don't I go first? I think that's fair enough, huh?" He cackled slightly, relishing every second of his Jew's compliance.

...

Kyle shivered, loving the way Cartman was talking to him. He brought his hands up to clutch onto the brunet's shirt, holding him in place for a moment. "Wait, I –" he started, trying to focus despite his obvious arousal. "I… I don't…"

He flushed and lowered his eyelids a bit. "… I don't want to be bad at it," he finished meekly, finally allowing his nervousness to shine through. He'd never done this before and although he doubted Cartman had either, he still felt like he would embarrass himself when it came to his 'turn'. This couldn't possibly be the kind of thing that's just supposed to come naturally.

...

Eric grew slightly concerned when he heard Kyle's initial protest, but then when he heard his Jew finish his little sheepish but inciting admission, the brunet cracked a wild grin. "No no… you won't be _bad_!" he assured, still tugging on Kyle's dick. "Besides, all you have to do is stand there and _take it_." He then finally gained the confidence to slide himself down to Kyle's waist.

...

"No I mean when it's… my turn," Kyle choked out, growing even more nervous now that Cartman had dropped to his knees. He didn't know what he would do if he really liked it and then when it came to his turn he was really terrible and couldn't get Cartman off. It would be the most humiliating thing ever. _Ever_.

...

"God you never can just relax, can you? If you're unsure what to do, take a couple pointers from me…" Eric suggested as he rolled his eyes, not quite looking at Kyle's dick yet even though it was right next to his face. His hand was still on it, but he was surprisingly nervous and unsure about what he was about to do. However, he knew that in this position there was little Kyle could do, which meant he had more control that his Jew did. So even though Kyle might be the one getting off, Eric was at least the one who was initiating and conducting this monumental step in their relationship.

Thinking of things that way allowed Eric to gain the confidence and state of mind necessary to move his head to the side, close his eyes, and run his tongue up the length of Kyle's shaft.

...

Despite Cartman's completely unhelpful advice, Kyle gasped and all but forgot about his worries once the brunet actually started. _Oh God._ Although plenty had happened in the past couple of months to suggest otherwise, Kyle couldn't help but think that this was Cartman – _Eric fucking Cartman_ – his worst enemy… on his knees, sucking him off. The entire relationship seemed to fucking strange still. And this? This just made it all the more insane.

...

_That'll shut him up,_ Eric thought as he proceeded to plant small kisses from the base up to the tip of Kyle's erection. He gave one final kiss once he was at the slit, then wrapped his whole mouth around the head, applying pressure to the underside of Kyle's cock with his tongue. Creating an air tight seal with his mouth, Eric began to suck lightly, but didn't take him in his mouth all the way in order to further the suspense.

...

Kyle let out an audible moan as he braced himself against the wall. Considering that, back in the day, Cartman had gone on and on about Kyle sucking his balls as a form of humiliation… the fact that _he_ was now doing something similar to _Kyle _was… strange as fuck, to say the least. Was this Cartman's way of submitting to him? Or was he only doing this because he expected something more in return?

He bit his lip and tossed his head back, his thoughts quickly becoming muddled due to the pleasure. _Oh God oh God_. _Fuck_ it felt so good! How could this feel _so good_? "_Fuck_!" he choked out, trying desperately to keep his hips from bucking.

...

Eric continued to toy with the head a bit before finally decided to inch down until his gag reflex told him to stop. Taking a good portion of Kyle's cock into his mouth, Eric started to hum and slowly bob his head, figuring that the vibrations would drive Kyle crazy.

...

"Ohhh God," Kyle panted, hips thrusting forward involuntarily. _How. Is this. Real? _He couldn't believe anything could feel this good – what the fuck had he been doing all his life up until this point? No _wonder_ Stan and Kenny were trying so hard to get blowjobs a couple years ago.

He tossed his head back and moaned again, bringing one hand over to thread through Cartman's hair. He was already getting close, he could feel it. It wasn't fair how fast this worked – he fucking needed to learn some self control.

...

Feeling his Jew tense, Eric dared to move at a faster pace as he tightened his lips around Kyle's shaft. He hoped this was what Kyle wanted and flushed a bit from how raunchy this whole thing was. Sure it was nice to hear Kyle moan like that and have his hair getting played with, but for God's sake, Kyle's dick was in his mouth and he was probably moments away from actually _coming_. But then Eric suddenly realized _why_ he was about to come – because _he_ was doing this to him. Eric was making Kyle feel this way; this was really all about him, not just Kyle. His Jew's attention was all on him and nothing else and he was about to _come_ because of how awesome he was. Feeling more ambitious at that thought, Eric reached up to grab Kyle's dick again while he swirled his tongue over the tip.

...

Kyle let out another desperate moan as he fisted Cartman's hair. "F-fuck –" he gasped out, definitely seconds away from going over the edge now. "W-wait – Oh God – s-stop, I'm gonna-" he tried to warn, though words weren't really his strong suit at the moment.

...

Well that was the answer Eric wanted to hear when it came to his concern about what Kyle wanted. Therefore, as soon as Kyle gave his warning, Eric tightened his hold and applied more pressure with his tongue, essentially encouraging his Jew to let go.

...

_Oh God he's not stopping_, Kyle thought with pure disbelief. Cartman… wanted him to… in his _mouth_? That thought alone was enough to push him over the edge, and coupled with the way Cartman seemed to be _trying_ to get that to happen… it barely took five more seconds for Kyle to cry out another obscenity as he came, thrusting erratically into the larger boy's mouth.

...

When he heard Kyle cry out, Eric tried to maintain some control by holding Kyle's dick firmly in his hand as the Jew thrust into his mouth, his tongue getting coated with that familiar warm and bittersweet substance. What was more amazing was that Eric could actually _feel_ Kyle's dick twitching in small tight pulses. Once he felt Kyle collapse back onto the brick wall, Eric moved back and curiously swallowed the load of cum in his mouth, shuddering at how odd it felt as he proceeded to tuck Kyle's dick back into his jeans.

After zipping up Kyle's pants, Eric hesitantly stood up and peered at the section of wall next to Kyle's head, not quite ready to look directly at him. "Damn I didn't think I'd like that as much as I did…" he said nervously, finally looking at Kyle as though that whole thing was like some roller coaster they just hopped off of.

...

Kyle broke eye contact the second Cartman made it, blushing and inexplicably embarrassed about what just happened. "Um… yeah," he said nervously, crossing his arms. "So… uh, now what?"

...

Eric didn't like that Kyle's attitude was so dismissive after something _he_ did for him, so the brunet cupped Kyle's chin to force the redhead to look at him. "Hey," he spoke softly but firmly, staring intently at his Jew. "That was something you wanted right?" he asked incredulously, making sure they were all well and good. "You'd tell me if there was something wrong…"

...

"No! It was… um, awesome," Kyle said, feeling incredibly awkward about discussing this sort of thing after the fact. "It's just… weird. I dunno. I mean, what do people say after something like that?"

He lowered his eyelids and tried to hide his embarrassment. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make it seem…" _God why is this so awkward?_ "Cartman, I wanted it. Really."

...

Giving off a satisfied hum, Eric cracked a smile at how cute Kyle was when he was this flustered. He loved how flighty he was after throwing him off guard like that. "Okay Jew, whatever you say." He brought up a hand to tousle Kyle's curls as he teased, "Well! Can't leave your _mommy_ waiting." He laughed as he took Kyle's hand again to pull him away from the wall and out of the alley. "Let's get you home, shall we?" He perked a brow, assuming that Kyle was already annoyed enough with his mother's hovering tendencies.

...

"Oh… ok," Kyle said, more than a little surprised that Cartman hadn't asked him to 'return the favor', so to speak. _Maybe he's just biding his time. Yeah, that must be it_. He let Cartman lead him out of the alleyway and back onto the road, and decided at the last moment that he wouldn't take his hand back until they were closer to their neighborhood. If anyone was out here for whatever reason, they'd have to see them in time to stop holding hands. No big deal.

"So… that was a pretty crazy afternoon," he commented after a minute of walking in silence.

...

"I'm pretty sure that whenever we're together… it's going to be crazy no matter what," Eric joked as he peered sideways at his Jew, holding his hand tightly as he cracked a content grin. "And that's the best part about us I think – that nothing's really predicable. Like fuck, what happened today – first we were arguing, and then we were fighting, and then we were kissing, and then we were talking and then… I'm sucking your dick in an alley." He laughed, still not believing that actually happened.

...

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Kyle agreed, laughing. "We're pretty fucked up, aren't we…"

He smiled up at Cartman as they came up on the town, and slid his hand out of the brunet's grasp. "We should probably split up now… people would think it was weird if we were like, taking a walk together," he said, looking toward the houses.

...

After feeling Kyle separate from him, Eric felt a weird and unexpected wave of sadness overtake him as he looked down at his Jew. "Oh. Well… okay…" he muttered, reluctantly taking a step back. Then he suddenly remembered something. "Oh! By the way… what are you doing next Friday night?" he asked lightheartedly, trying to mask his melancholy disposition.

...

"Umm… I'd have to check my schedule," Kyle joked, smirking. "But I think I'm free that night, why?"

...

"No reason," Eric chirped, looking away as though it was no big deal. "Just make sure you're free that night." He glanced back to Kyle to give him a teasing smile, turning on his heel to walk toward his house. "Auf Wiedersehen, Jew…"

...

Kyle rolled his eyes, smiling to himself as he watched the brunet's retreating back. Whatever Cartman had planned… he had a week and a half to prepare for it. _Should be interesting_.

He turned to walk home, beginning to prepare his explanation of who he was with and where, because his mother would surely be waiting for him with a lecture on how 'going out' wasn't good enough and how 'anything could have happened'. He chuckled. She didn't even know the half of it.

…

**A/N:** Hope you all liked! Feedback is loved as always! :D


	15. July 23rd

**A/N:** Chapter 15! Read and enjoy! :DD

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Fifteen – Friday, July 23rd

For the first time since this whole thing began, Eric was actually relieved when Kyle hadn't contacted him in the time between when they were in the alley and now. It was now the Friday that Eric told Kyle to leave open, and the only contact they had that week was when he sent Kyle a random text message saying, '_Hey, you're still cool for Friday right?_', with Kyle replying, '_Yeah_'.

And that was it. Eric had felt like asking if he wanted to do anything, but truthfully he was a bit reluctant to see Kyle. He guessed that once you suck someone off… things change, and he certainly felt different about his relationship with Kyle at this point. Eric was sure at first that he was the one in control when it came to that whole event, but once he got home he realized that Kyle came in _his_ mouth and _he_ was the one who got on his knees.

That just didn't feel right, and as much as Eric wanted to believe that he was the one in charge of the pace of things… he just couldn't shake the fact that in every sexual situation they'd been in, _he_ had to be the one to go first. This truth could mean a number of things, and Eric was sure that it probably meant that Kyle was a pansy when it came to advancing their sex life…

Or it could mean he was inadvertently letting Kyle trample all over him.

Yet today was supposed to be a happy day, so Eric put all his doubts behind him and texted Kyle telling him to look relatively nice. He was dressed up pretty nice as well – with his button up brown shirt, dress pants, black coat, and leather shoes.

He fucking loved it whenever Kyle noticed the extra effort.

So once he was ready to go, Eric left a note for his mom telling him where he went and left to pick up Kyle once more for a hopefully lovely evening.

...

_So apparently I'm supposed to look nice for this date tonight,_ Kyle thought. He really hated having to look nice. He hadn't really expected Cartman to want to take him somewhere nice after… sucking him off in an alleyway. It seemed… crass? No, that wasn't the right word… It just seemed like a strange thing to do, to go from doing something so incredibly raunchy in a place where fifty prostitutes have probably done the same thing… to dressing nice for a presumably fancy date. Not only that, but they had barely even spoken since that day, save a few awkward texts.

Kyle was beginning to wonder if letting Cartman do that to him had somehow ruined whatever it was they had. Maybe things were moving too quickly. Maybe they weren't ready to take that kind of step. Kyle sure as hell knew _he_ wasn't – he had been incredibly relieved when Cartman didn't expect him to reciprocate that afternoon.

But he figured he'd just find out tonight if things were weird beyond repair.

So he threw on a nice pair of black pants and shoes – the ones he wore to synagogue, because they were the only nice pants and shoes he owned – and a button down, dark green shirt. It would have to do. He didn't have much in the way of fancy clothing, though apparently Cartman expected him to. He figured he should bring his coat as well, just in case Cartman brought him back to that German place (it was the only fancy place Kyle could think of), though he couldn't help but think his pea coat didn't match the rest of his outfit and just made him look retarded. But… fuck it.

He waited in his room until Cartman sent him a text saying he was outside, and then rushed downstairs calling out a half-assed "going out for a while". Allowing his mother to see him like this would only result in a lot of questions, because you don't go out with "just a friend" dressed in anything nicer than jeans and a t-shirt.

Once he arrived at Cartman's car, he felt the weight of last week's awkwardness return to him. He opened the door, sat down, and buckled his seat belt before finally looking over at the brunet. "Hi," he said, kind of hoping that Cartman felt as weird as he did.

...

"Hey!" Eric called out with a slightly anxious tone, eying Kyle and how good he looked this time as he cracked a sheepish smile. "It's nice to see _you_ try to look nice for once…" he joked as he pulled out of the driveway, trying to make light of the situation because he could sense that Kyle felt just as awkward about this.

...

"Dude, last time you didn't _tell_ me to look nice," Kyle retorted, finding that arguing automatically made the situation feel more normal. "So thank _you_ for giving me a fair warning _for once_."

...

Eric sighed in relief once he heard Kyle start to argue with him, because now he knew things could at least go back to _square one_. "Yeah yeah, you're welcome, Jew," he quipped, looking over one more time to Kyle as he exited the residential area. He inhaled slowly before muttering, "You look good by the way – I like that color on you… the green that is." He laughed at himself, knowing that he probably sounded like an idiot with his botched compliment.

...

Kyle blushed and tried to stop himself from smiling as he looked down at his lap. "Thanks."

Hoping Cartman didn't really notice that reaction, he immediately straightened up and looked out the window. "So where are we going?" he inquired.

...

"Eh, I just thought that we should give the German place a try again since last time was a little… well, hectic." Eric puffed, giving Kyle a sly look as he leaned back in his chair. "But this time, I reserved a place at the _restaurant_ instead," he informed with a smug tone, obviously trying to show off as he nervously carried his hand to the back of Kyle's chair. _Why does this feel like it's our fucking first date?_

...

"Yeah, I kind of thought maybe that's where we were going," Kyle said, motioning to the coat draped across his lap. Then he looked over to Cartman, frowning a bit. "But… you shouldn't have… it's too nice."

...

"No it's not," Eric combated in a joking manner, biting his lip as merged onto Route 9. "I wanted to do this, really. Besides…" He sighed, not wanting to bring up what happened, though he knew it was important. "I… don't want you to be mad at me and to be honest I don't really know how I feel about all of this either." He laughed nervously.

...

"You think I'm mad at you?" Kyle asked, feeling guilty now. What had he done to give off the impression he was angry? Sure they hadn't talked much lately but that was just as much Cartman's doing as his, right?

...

Eric turned his head to look at Kyle for a second before looking back to the road. "I mean, I don't know." He sighed again, feeling like an idiot as he rolled his eyes. "I just… I just want this to work out… but I think that it's just going to take a lot of time. So… I'm sorry if I rushed things," he apologized, though he felt a bit angry himself. "But I also feel like if this is going to work out that _both_ of us have to make efforts in making this all… _equal." _He wasn't trying to come off as an ass; he was just trying to make a valid point.

...

"Oh, I think I understand now," Kyle said coolly, crossing his arms. Leave it to Cartman to start off with a bang and then end with certain implications that made his entire spiel seem insincere. He was obviously trying to _sound_ serious, but Kyle knew _exactly_ what he was trying to get at, _that asshole_. "You think I'm not putting any effort into this because I didn't drop to my knees and beg for your cock."

...

_What?_ Eric almost stopped the car as he turned onto a side road. "No! That's… that's not it," he tried to reason, glancing at Kyle. "I just… _feel_ that I've always had to be the one who had to initiate every sexual thing that we've done!"

He began to think about everything they've done, so he listed, "I'm the one who told you to touch yourself, I was the one who asked if I could finish you, I was the one who jacked us both off, I was the one who suggested the funnel cake, I was the one who asked you to jack _me_ off, I was the one who initiated the slumber party… and then…" Eric paused, sinking into his chair. "I was the one who went down on _you_," he muttered, looking towards the mountain. "Can't you see where I'm coming from here?"

...

"That's not – you aren't being fair!" Kyle argued, glaring at the brunet, who was so determinedly staring at the road. "You shouldn't… _expect _me to… Ugh, I never _asked you_ to do any of that! And it's such a dick move to put pressure on me like this! God damn it Cartman, what if I'm not ready, have you even _considered_ that?"

He angrily turned to look out the window, trying to hide how humiliated he felt. "And besides," he added quietly. "_I _was always the one to come crawling back after _you_ pissed me off enough to make me want to quit this. How about that for _equality_?"

...

"I guess I just wanted to know if I was _worthy_ enough for your advances… _sorry__!_" Eric snapped, _really_ not wanting to get in this kind of argument right now. "But if you're not ready, you're not ready – and I didn't want to pressure you, I just wanted to talk." He reached his hand down to gently touch Kyle's. "I didn't want to fight today, honest. It's been a while since we last talked so… I won't fight if you don't, okay?" He grinned slightly, gazing at Kyle for a second before approaching the main gate of the lodge.

...

Kyle inhaled to argue back, because it wasn't about fucking _worthiness_ at all, but… maybe this _was _the wrong time to get into it. So instead of snapping back, he just sighed. "Fine," he said, turning to stare ahead.

...

Despite his Jew's response, Eric could tell that Kyle wasn't in the best mood for this occasion. So after he told the guy at the gate he had reservations, he sped up to drive up the mountain and decided to speak up again, "So… what did you do this past week and a half without me?" He turned his head to the side, still looking a bit vulnerable.

...

"Oh, nothing really," Kyle said, his mind still focusing on the argument that just got cut short. "Started filling out applications… cleaned the house for my mom… hung out with Stan a few times." He shrugged. "Just normal stuff."

...

Eric's heart stopped and he whipped his head around to ask, "Applications? Should I be doing them now too?" He gripped onto the steering wheel, their whole argument flying out the window as he instead focused on this topic.

...

"Cartman, you still haven't even taken the SATs," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. "I mean, you can _start _them now, but most schools' deadlines aren't until like January or February. I'm just getting them done early so I don't have to worry so much later."

...

"So I still have a chance to get into the school I want to get into?" Eric asked again, pulling into the parking lot. "How do I register for the SATs? I want to take them as soon as I can…"

...

"Cartman, I don't _know_ if you have a chance," Kyle said, bringing one hand up to rub his temple. "But yes, you have time to _apply_."

He cast Cartman a side glance. "For SATs you just go to the College Board website and, I dunno, register. It isn't hard. Just Google it," Kyle said, finding it a little amusing that Cartman had no idea where to begin. "God I can't believe you haven't registered yet!"

...

"Shut up, Jew, I'm trying..." Eric put his car into park before giving Kyle an anxious look. "I'll do it as soon as I get home." He undid his seat belt, looking over at Kyle again as he changed his demeanor to a much more comfortable one. "Hey… look at me." He leaned in slightly, smiling boyishly.

...

"What?" Kyle asked, looking over at the other boy.

...

Eric lowered his eyelids slightly before closing the gap between them, giving Kyle a chaste kiss before pulling away. "I'm glad you came out here again. Let's have some fun, okay?" He brought his hand over to gently massage Kyle's bicep.

...

Kyle smiled slightly, trying to forget about their previous argument as much as possible as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "Okay," he conceded before opening his door.

...

Eric led Kyle into the lodge again, but instead of turning into the corridor which led to the café, Eric took Kyle down a hallway which led to the back of the lodge where the exquisite restaurant was.

Overlooking the decline of the steep mountain that the lodge was perched on, the restaurant was split into an indoor portion and an outdoor a deck, with gigantic window panes lining the divide. There was a gigantic bar on the back right hand corner and a small stage where an orchestra could play if hired. The tables were arranged in a way that offered a level of privacy to the parties seated, but Eric actually requested one of the more exclusive tables due to the fact that Kyle couldn't speak German and of course, because their conversations tended to be on the naughtier side.

He knew that Kyle was probably not expecting a restaurant such as this – a modernized mountain lodge complete with five star dining and a view that could not be matched anywhere else in the area – however he also knew that he had a lot to making up for, especially with that conversation they had in the car. Thankfully Eric always had this in his back pocket as he had been giving a lot of German tutoring lessons over the summer to rack up enough points to score a reservation here. And what better time to pull this out than after one of the most awkward events that had happened between them so far!

After the host led Eric and Kyle through the tables and random displays of artwork lining the dining area, they finally found their seat and were given leather bound menus to start off their date.

Getting situated in his seat across from Kyle, Eric looked through their personal window pane as he marveled at how high up they were. "Pretty crazy, huh?" He peered back to Kyle. "A little better than the café, don't you think?" he teased, giving Kyle a playful pat on the hand before beginning to peruse his menu.

...

"Yeah…" Kyle replied slowly, looking around the restaurant and then out the window. This was a ridiculously nice place. He'd certainly never been anywhere this nice in his life, nor had he ever really put much thought into going someplace this nice _ever_. What was worse, there was no 'special occasion' he could think of that would warrant such an evening, so if Cartman was pulling something like this out of thin air… there had to be _something_ up his sleeve.

"You know," he said, ripping his gaze away from the view to look at the boy sitting across from him. "I _really_ don't have the money for this, and I'd be surprised if _you_ had enough lying around for a random fancy date… so what's the occasion?"

...

"Well I…" Eric coughed into his hand, glancing back up at Kyle before continuing in a neutral voice, "I've been tutoring German a lot this summer when I wasn't with you so I was able to get a nice night here." He smiled at nothing in particular as he peered back down at the menu. "I think you'll like it." He hid his excited smirk behind the leather bound paper.

...

"So… this is free then?" Kyle asked, visibly relaxing in response to this new information. He opened his menu and smirked, knowing this next comment would get under Cartman's skin. "Getting a free dinner at a fancy restaurant… how… _frugal_ of you. Maybe my religion is rubbing off on you, fatass."

...

"What?" Eric nearly dropped his menu once Kyle tore him one like that, but instead smirked a malicious grin and carried his leg to smooth over his Jew's underneath the table. "Was that some… backhanded self-hating Jewishness you just threw at me? Because you know you just insulted yourself Kyle… now who's rubbing off on who?" he joked, still playing footsie with Kyle under the table.

...

Kyle noticed a member of the waitstaff begin to walk toward their table and remembered that he wasn't supposed to speak English here. He quickly leaned in and whispered to Cartman that he was fine with water, and then watched as Cartman conversed with the waiter in German. After the man left, he relaxed and went back to his menu.

"Oh I wouldn't say you're rubbing off on me. I can laugh at myself and embrace certain stereotypes," Kyle said, not looking up from the text. "_You_, on the other hand, do it maliciously. There's a definite difference there."

Then, sighing, he put his menu down. "Alright, I can't read any of this. You've been here right? Just order me something I'll like."

...

Puffing in amusement, Eric perused through the menu again before looking back up at Kyle. "Okay Jew… do you like Chicken?" he asked, happy that Kyle was still letting him play footsie with him under the table.

...

"Yeah, chicken's fine. Oh, and Cartman?" Kyle said, growing serious as he waited for Cartman to focus his attention solely onto him. "I can't speak this language. I will have _no_ idea if what you tell me you ordered is actually what you ordered. So don't you dare, don't you DARE, order me pork or shellfish or some shit that you KNOW I can't eat. I know you don't respect my beliefs at all, and I know you're thinking of tricking me into eating something that isn't kosher. Just do NOT do it. Or I will destroy you. And if I can't, I will tell my mom _everything_ and see to it that _she_ gets the job done. Got it?"

...

Eric immediately took his foot off of Kyle's leg and shuddered. The last thing he wanted to think about that day was an angry Mrs. Broflovski tearing his balls off over some kosher mess up. "Fine Jew! God! I was just going to order you the Peanut Coconut Chicken with a side of mashed potatoes and vegetables! It's my favorite meal here." He brought his hand up to his forehead. "Geez I'm going to have nightmares from thinking about that!"

Feeling like a pansy now, Eric made up his mind about what he wanted and slammed down his menu. "Freaking Jew Princess… running to mommy when you can't solve your problems," he snickered, looking out the window to avoid Kyle's gaze.

...

Kyle smiled triumphantly. "I just thought it would get my point across better, since you don't seem to be that afraid of me anymore," he said, folding his arms and leaning back in his seat. "And that dish sounds fine. Thank you."

...

"You… are such an ever loving spoiled brat," Eric complained just before waiter came over with the Ginger Ale Eric ordered. He then told the waiter what they both wanted, watching as the man quickly wrote it down before rushing back to the kitchen.

"There you go. You get the chicken and I get the Surf n' Turf." He leaned in slightly, giving Kyle an unamused look. "You know, I've been giving you plenty of lip service recently in more ways than one. I think it's about time you start giving _me_ some praises." He straightened up to motion to the surrounding restaurant. "I mean, come on! Who else would make this much effort for you? You're _hardly_ appreciative," he muttered before taking a swig of his ginger ale.

...

Kyle raised an eyebrow. "All I did was warn you not to trick me into breaking kashrut," he commented before taking a sip of his water. "And I told you this place is too nice of a place to take me… that's hardly _unappreciative_, I think. It's not like I expected this of you."

...

"No, you also dared to stick your mother on me which I wouldn't threaten on my worst enemy… well, Scott would deserve it but, you get what I'm saying," Eric responded, gazing back at Kyle. "And this place is fine! It's not _too_ fancy. I mean, we're not wearing _suits_." He laughed, slowly moving his leg back over to Kyle's. "And what do you mean you didn't expect this? I thought that after all this… crazy stuff we've been doing that you would at least expect _something_ out of me." He started to anxiously tap on the table, looking off to the side as he thought to himself, _I mean, what have __**you**__ done?_

_..._

"That's not what I meant," Kyle responded, frowning. "I meant… like, you seem to think I just expect this kind of treatment, or something. I don't. I don't expect to be taken out to nice places and I don't expect to be paid for or any of that."

"I appreciate it. I do. It's nice," he tried to assure, focusing his gaze on his glass of water instead of Cartman. "I just don't really, you know, deserve any of this, I guess is what I was saying."

...

Reclining back into his seat, Eric took in Kyle's retort and… found it odd. Because he really believed Kyle _did_ expect these things… he felt that if he didn't do any of this stuff, Kyle would just pass him by without a second thought. Eric felt like he _had_ to go to extreme lengths to get Kyle to notice him as he was now, not as that boisterous, loud, obnoxious kid from the past. He wanted Kyle to see him as a somewhat matured, intelligent, determined young man that happened to be… enamored with him.

Eric didn't know how else to make that happen… or rather, he didn't know if he _could_ do it any other way. He wanted to show Kyle that he could be just as good as the frou frou boys that he would meet on the east coast. He wanted to show Kyle not just _what_ he would be leaving behind, but _who_ as well. Eric was still determined to follow Kyle wherever he went… but he really wanted to show him… show him… _something_. Eric didn't know what. He just needed to show Kyle something, _anything_ to get him to feel something for him. To get him to feel that there was no one else on Earth that felt for him the way Eric did.

But Eric couldn't say this, he couldn't. He was too scared… which he didn't want to admit but… he was scared of Kyle. Scared that he'd break his heart. So instead he just said, "Yeah, I understand."

...

Kyle smiled and reached forward to touch Cartman's hand. "Thanks. For not doing the whole 'of course you deserve it' thing most people would have done, and just accepting what I said," he said, blushing a bit.

He took his hand back to pick up his glass of water. "And I guess you're right, this isn't the nicest place _ever_," he said, though he certainly had no first-hand experiences to back this assertion up.

"I just, you know, would have been fine with like, TGI Fridays," he finished, laughing as he brought his glass to his lips.

...

"Ew! With those green bean French fries? I hope you're fucking kidding!" Eric whipped his hand away, as though Kyle was still touching it, disgusted with the suggestion of TGI Fridays. He then nodded in the direction of the kitchen. "Once you taste this you'll be thanking me," he smirked, happy he didn't have to say his original thought… but a little disappointed that all of that was still going to be tucked away in the back of his mind.

...

"Did I _say_ anything about green bean French fries? All I meant was that I don't need fancy. But, you said this was free tonight, so it doesn't matter," Kyle said, not really wanting to argue about a restaurant name he pulled out of thin air.

"So," he changed the subject. "Have you talked to Butters yet? That whole thing about you never speaking to him again, and I told you it was stupid… you said you'd talk to him. Did you?"

...

Even more disgruntled now, Eric leaned back into his seat and placed his hands on the table to fiddle with his butter knife. "Yeah I… I texted him," he puffed, making his fork and knife duke it out. "I said that he had a lot of nerve for turning on me like that and if he wanted to make up for it he was going to have to meet me on _my_ time." Peering outside nervously, Eric furrowed his brow in concern as he admitted, "I haven't heard back from him yet… I don't really know how to take that."

...

"Hmm, yeah," Kyle said, leaning in to rest his chin on the palm of his hand. "It's not like Butters to, you know… not give in. Maybe you'll have to go see him in person."

...

"I shouldn't be the one to make the effort though…" Eric grumbled, stabbing his fork with his knife as he lowered his eyelids in rage. "_He's_ the one who fucked everything up, so he should be the one to come to me." He hastily put down both his fork and knife and looked up at Kyle. "Anyway," he diverted, trying to find something else to talk about. "What about your friendships? Have you thought about when you wanna break it to Stan?"

...

"Oh, uh, not really," Kyle said, eyeing Cartman suspiciously. _'He should be the one to come to me.'_ Was that his mentality every time he and Kyle got into a fight? It seemed likely, seeing as he was always waiting patiently like nothing was wrong _every time_ Kyle went back to him after days or even weeks of not speaking. _Asshole._

"You know how he is. I just want to wait for the right time."

...

"Oh, okay…" Eric responded sheepishly, taking a sip of his drink before carefully putting it back down. Then a more amusing though came to his mind. "It's funny, I think that the only relationship that you and I are actually comfortable and confident about right now is… ours," he laughed, not really sure if Kyle felt the same way but… he still did, even if things were a little shaky now.

...

Kyle laughed half heartedly. "Yeah… it seems that way," he said before sighing despondently. "It's so hard. Keeping things from people. I'm not used to lying to everyone I know, especially Stan. But it's like, I know I'm doing this to myself. Because I _could _tell him or whoever else, but I'm just _not._ And it's fun being secretive while _we're_ together, but when it's like, just me and him, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells, watching everything I say in case I accidentally mention you or something you said. It really sucks ass."

...

"Well," Eric leaned in toward Kyle once he realized that he truly was concerned. "He's not… suspicious or anything is he? And I'm pretty sure I don't come up regularly when you hang with him anyway… there's no reason to get worried about it." He took another sip of his drink before adding, "But I can see how it would feel weird."

...

"It's not about him _suspecting_ anything, Cartman," Kyle said, frowning. "The point is that he shouldn't have anything to be suspicious _of._ Maybe you don't understand, but me and Stan don't lie to each other. Not even by omission. We tell each other everything. Until now. I'm keeping this major development in my life from him, because I'm a pansy and I'm afraid he'll talk me out of it."

He sighed and began to fiddle with his utensils. "I feel like such a jackass. But I know what he'd do if he found out about this, especially now that I've been lying for over two months. He'd freak out and try to convince me to end things with you," he explained, glancing up to meet Cartman's eyes for a moment. "And it's just gotten to the point where it's easier to push it off than just fucking do it, even though I _know_ it's only going to be worse the longer I wait."

...

Eric listened intently to Kyle's explanation before he straightened in his seat. "You really think he could talk you out of it? I mean…" He crossed his arms into his chest as he asked meekly, "Are you still that unsure? I thought we were past this…" He scowled in disappointment.

...

"What? No, I said he'd _try_ to talk me out of it," Kyle replied. _Didn't I? _

He looked away from Cartman only to notice that their waiter seemed to be heading toward their table with food. "I think our food's coming," he said, glad to have a welcome interruption.

...

With food on his mind now, Eric was able to drop his previous anxieties and smile brightly as he cheered, "You're going to fucking love your dish, Kyle." He thanked the waiter when he set their plates down in front of them. Then he wished them both 'Guten Appetite' and retreated back to the kitchen. Once they were alone again, Eric cracked a smile and goaded, "Go ahead! Take a bite and tell me how right I was…" He laughed before starting on his lobster tail.

...

Kyle smirked, almost wanting to take a bite only to spit it out and tell Cartman how disgusting it was just for shits and giggles. But he figured that would be too mean. And when he actually did take a bite of his chicken, it became very clear that it would be hard to fake being grossed out – that shit was _really_ good!

"Oh wow," he said after swallowing his bite. "That's awesome!"

...

"The Peanut Coconut sauce makes it," Eric noted, eyeing Kyle's plate enviously. He knew how freaking awesome that dish tasted, and he wanted some, so he came up with a great plan. "Here." Eric took a forkful of steak and lobster and brought it up in the air. "I'll give you a taste if you give me one…" He smirked, licking his lips slightly as he sensually eyed down Kyle.

...

"I can't eat that," Kyle reminded, though he pushed his plate toward Cartman. "But you can have some of mine, I don't care."

...

"What? Yes you can! There's no pork here!" He edged his fork over again, eyeing Kyle's plate with disdain. "And that's not what I meant," he snapped before lowering his voice to an enticing level. "C'mon Kyle, live a little…"

...

"Cartman, I _can't _eat that food. Shellfish aren't kosher, and that beef probably isn't certified," Kyle argued, rolling his eyes. He looked down at his plate, knowing what Cartman clearly wanted.

"Here," he said, cutting a piece of chicken off with his fork and stabbing it. Lifting it up toward Cartman's face, he smiled provocatively. He knew Cartman probably wanted something cheesy like they were in _Lady and the Tramp_, but Kyle would much rather take this opportunity to irritate him. So, laughing a bit, he pushed his fork more toward Cartman and joked, "Here comes the choo choo train!"

...

Eric reeled back in disgust as his boner was thoroughly harshed. "What the fuck? What do I look like, a three year old?" he essentially yelled as he brought back his own fork. Eyeing the fork full of his favorite food as though it were brussel sprouts, Eric grumbled disapprovingly. "You can't fucking let me have any fun can you?" he growled, rolling his eyes. But then he directed his attention back to Kyle fork and reluctantly engulfed the chicken, instantly humming in delight as he marveled at how awesome it tasted.

...

"I do what I can," Kyle said, laughing as he put down his fork. "I'm sorry, it's just, all that cheesy coupley shit seems so stupid to me. I mean, feeding each other? Come on."

He took a sip of his water before going back to his food. "Sorry if I killed the boner you probably had," he added between bites.

...

Swallowing his mouth full of food, Eric growled a bit before he resumed eating his own. "Ugh, you're starting to get to know me too well," he complained as he cut up his steak. "And it's not like I _like_ all the mushy couple stuff it's just that I think it's cute when you retaliate so fervently but then give in." He laughed, readying a fork full before he teased, "I think you secretly like it."

...

"Well if I admitted to that, it wouldn't be a secret, would it?" Kyle said, smirking. "Seriously, though, sorry I couldn't taste your food. I'm sure it's awesome, if mine is anything to go by. I wish restaurants this good existed in South Park."

...

"Well no one gives a shit in South Park except…" Eric suddenly got another great idea. "Actually, you should try some of my mom's cooking. She actually cooks _extremely_ well," he boasted, laughing.

...

"I've had your mom's cooking before," Kyle pointed out. "Dude it's not like we just met. Remember? We used to be at your house all the time _because_ of her cooking."

...

"But when's the last time _that's_ happened?" Eric asked, before downing his mouthful of steak with his water. Exhaling, he looked back up to Kyle. "She's gotten better. I think I should have you over for a formal dinner sometime. Nothing fancy-schmancy, but… definitely cordial."

...

Kyle shrugged. "Sure, I guess. If _she_ wants to do that," he said, absently moving food around on his plate. He didn't like the idea of Cartman forcing his mother into cooking some stupidly huge dinner for them.

...

Eric noticed that Kyle wasn't scarffing down his food like he was and perked his brow suspiciously. "What? You're not hungry?" he asked, hoping something wasn't still awry.

...

"What? I'm eating," Kyle said as he stabbed a piece of chicken with his fork. "Some people actually pace themselves."

...

"Meh mehmeh meh mehmeh," Eric mocked before going back to his own plate, chewing away as he glanced over to the dessert menu. "Wan' any dessert?" he asked with his mouth full.

...

Kyle wrinkled his nose and let out a small scoff to express his distaste. "Need I remind you that we're at a nice restaurant? Have some manners," he reprimanded before taking a bite of chicken. He raised an eyebrow and pointed to his mouth, demonstrating how to politely chew with a closed mouth and not talk while doing it.

"See?" he said after swallowing. "Not that hard."

...

Eric reluctantly sat up straight with some dignity, raising his nose up a tad as he growled, "Stupid Jew… thinking I don't have any fucking manners." He took a bite of his potatoes and looked back to the menu. "As I was saying, I think we should share one of the desserts here." He blushed a tad, slightly embarrassed as he revealed, "I would let you have your own but, I think I only have enough points for one."

...

"That's ok, I'll only have a bite anyway," Kyle said, looking down at his half-finished plate of food.

...

"You're such a slow eater!" Eric scoffed, only having his veggies to work on at this point. "No wonder you're the size of a twig," he half insulted half complimented, not really knowing what else to say as he searched his mind for a topic. "So…" he spoke up after a couple of silent moments, looking around. "What do you want to do before the summer ends? We've got some time… all of August." He puffed. "Can't believe it's gone that fast."

...

"Yeah, you're right. Umm, I don't know," Kyle said, shrugging. "Bebe's birthday's coming up and she always has a huge party. Other than that… I dunno, I'm fine just hanging out. You know, spend some time doing absolutely nothing before school starts."

...

"And all hell breaks loose… our fucking last year of high school," Eric remembered as he pushed his plate away, now done with his dinner. "But yeah, Bebe's parties…" He laughed, remembering the one time he went to one. "Pretty crazy… I don't remember much," he joked, not wanting to tell Kyle the real reason why he didn't remember much, which was that he left early.

...

"Yeah some people get really out of hand, but, whatever, we're young, right?" Kyle smiled, scooping up some mashed potatoes. He glanced at Cartman's plate. "You can order dessert if you want, I don't want to make you sit there and watch me eat."

...

"I don't mind." But then Eric looked at his cell phone and grew a tad concerned at the time. "Actually… why don't we skip dessert? I'm a tad full anyway." He shrugged and looked back to Kyle's plate, happy when he noticed there wasn't much left. "So! Did you like your dinner?" he asked as he leaned back in his chair, trying not to look too transparent as he watched a bunch of people start to line up outside on the outdoor patio.

...

"Uh, yeah it was great," Kyle said, eyeing Cartman with suspicion. _Full? Cartman? _"Are you sure you want to skip dessert? I promise I'll try some."

...

"Oh sure! Yeah, I mean…" Eric gulped. "We can… we can get dessert _later_ but…" He pretended to burp. "I'd much rather let my stomach settle down some before I stuff it full of some…" He looked to the dessert menu, his mouth practically watering as he read it. "Original Black Forest Cake imported from Baden Wuettenburg."

...

"Um, sure, ok," Kyle said, noticing that Cartman was acting very strange all of a sudden. "So… we're just going to sit here and digest for a while, then?"

...

"Are you done?" Eric quickly glanced back over to Kyle, his whole body getting shaky all of a sudden as he restlessly started to tap his fingers against the table.

...

"Yeah, I guess," Kyle said, eyes narrowing. "What's wrong with you?"

...

"Nothing!" Eric cheered, starting to get out of his seat as he reached out to grab Kyle's hand. "I just… I just remembered that I wanted to show you something… upstairs!" He smiled, his eyes practically on fire with excitement.

...

"… Alright," Kyle said unsurely as he grabbed his coat with his free hand. He let Cartman pull him away from the table before asking, "What are you up to?"

...

"Oh, nothing to concern yourself with," Eric replied humbly before leading Kyle out of the restaurant, informing the host of their departure before walking out into the lobby again. He then led Kyle up one of the larger stairwells that led to a level which was titled 'Rooms only available upon reservation'.

But tonight, Eric had a key to enter this particulate space.

The first locked door led into a hallway, but Eric knew which room he had in mind as he strolled down the corridor looking for the right number. Once he spotted it, he exhaled happily and leaned down to unlock the door. Glancing around to look at Kyle with a nervous but obviously excited expression, Eric cracked a bright smile as he asked, "You ready for this?"

...

"Ready as I'll ever be," Kyle said nervously, hardly considering himself ready at all, as he had no idea what Cartman was planning to do.

...

Eric knew Kyle was suspicious as all hell, but when he opened the door to the room it revealed a private outdoor patio sealed off from the others. There were two sofa chairs, one large sofa, a small table, and what appeared to be a personal/individual telescope for their exclusive use. The patio was decorated with flora and other outdoor décor that looked like it actually belonged to someone.

Holding the door open, Eric smiled intently down at Kyle as he reminded, "Do you remember our first date here Kyle? What I said happens here in the summer on some of the clearer and warmer nights?"

...

"Um, stargazing I think," Kyle said, stepping into the room to look around. _Whose dick is Cartman sucking to be able to get access to this?_ he vaguely wondered.

...

"Yup… and luckily…" Eric shut the door behind him as he informed, "The parents of one of the kids I tutored were so impressed that while they went away on vacation this week, they lent me their private patio for the event." He then looked over to the complimentary bottle of champagne and joked, "You know, that's supposed to be for us…"

...

"So… what kind of event is it?" Kyle asked, turning toward Cartman and thoroughly ignoring the offer of alcohol. Stargazing seemed like such a personal thing, he couldn't imagine people making a spectacle out of it.

...

"I dunno," Eric gazed out over the horizon, coaxing Kyle to come nearer so he could look down at the other people there. "I think they might have a firework or two… but..." He then looked to the sky, pretty impressed with the view. "But in about a minute or two all the lights will be shut off and you'll be able to see constellations that you normally aren't able to see." He then glanced down at Kyle. "I just thought… that at the carnival with all the lights and noise that, it wasn't good enough… so I wanted you to really see them… since, well…" He gingerly took Kyle's hand into his own. "You said you'd miss them so much."

...

"Oh… thanks," Kyle said quietly, surprised that Cartman had remembered something like that. He tightened his grip on the brunet's hand and looked up at the sky.

...

"Wanna…" Eric motioned to the couch. "Sit down for a while?" He tugged on Kyle's hand a bit as he added, "Just until the lights go out, I mean… then we can try to point out some of the constellations." He then laughed. "Even though I have no idea what they are outside the big and little dipper…"

...

Kyle laughed as Cartman led the way to the couch. Once they were seated, he leaned against the brunet and resumed looking at the sky. "I have to admit," he said after a moment. "You have a knack for this stuff. I kind of hate it but I also kind of don't."

...

"You only hate it because you don't know how to react to it," Eric mocked as he placed his arm around Kyle's shoulders, nuzzling into him. "I just know how to impress… when I want to." He brought up his other hand and delicately touched Kyle's jaw line to turn his head around. "So what, do you like it when I impress you? Or does it still freak you out?" He laughed, leaning in to press his forehead against Kyle's.

...

"Both," Kyle said, smiling as he closed the gap between their lips.

...

Eric really fucking loved it when Kyle made little advances like these. It made him feel like he was actually working towards something that was attainable. The fact that Kyle apparently wanted Eric to do these little 'romantic' things once in a while showed that he was actually appreciative of it, which meant that Eric was going in the right direction. But with a slight wince, he realized that Kyle would eventually want more than just dinners and carnival trips – and the horrible thing was that Eric didn't know what that 'more' would be.

It just seemed that Kyle wasn't satisfied enough, and it bugged the hell out of Eric. But regardless of these thoughts, he proceeded to indulge in the kiss, leaning back into the couch just as all the lights suddenly went out.

...

The moment the lights went out, Kyle broke the kiss to gaze up at the night sky, and gasped when he saw that it had exploded with stars. Being so high up in the mountains with no artificial light to be seen, coupled with the moon being nearly full and seemingly so close… Kyle had never seen the sky look like this, not even during power outages in South Park. "Wow…" he whispered, more to himself than to Cartman.

...

Eric gazed up at the stars as well, and was amazed by how much bigger and wilder they looked. "Fucking crazy huh?" He latched onto Kyle tighter, loving the fact that they were alone together in this little patio with the whole fucking world silent and dark around them. "You don't…" Eric started to mumble, moving to hide his face in Kyle's neck. "Hmm… never mind."

...

"Hmm?" Kyle ripped his gaze away from the sky to look at Cartman. "What?"

...

Blushing a bit, Eric shook his head. "Don't worry about it, it was just stupid," He laughed, smiling. He looked back up and the big dipper caught his eye. "Whoa, it looks like the mega big dipper from here…"

...

"No, what is it?" Kyle asked, smiling up at the brunet. "Fuck the big dipper; you can't start to say shit and then say never mind, it isn't fair."

...

Eric winced slightly as he gazed back down at Kyle, hoping to God this wouldn't fuck anything up. "You don't know… how happy I am right now to be out here with you like this," he revealed. It wasn't _exactly_ what he wanted to say, but it was pretty close. He looked away and grimaced, trying to hide his embarrassment.

...

Kyle's face fell a bit at Cartman's words and he looked away slightly. It wasn't that he didn't like what he said… it just still made him uncomfortable, the whole idea that this meant something beyond just sexual attraction. "Well, it was all your idea," he said softly, trying to relax back into the boy as he looked up to the sky again. "So… just be glad your German lessons paid off, I guess."

...

With his grimace turning into a frown, Eric looked back up to the stars and let go of Kyle somewhat. "Do you… wanna stand up to look at them?" he asked, trying to make the situation less awkward.

...

"No, this is fine," Kyle said, grabbing Cartman's hands to pull them back to their original position and then shooting a stern look up at the boy. "Look, I'm sorry saying corny movie-script type shit doesn't come naturally to me, but that doesn't mean I don't want to be near you or whatever. This is all still weird for me, and I'm fucking trying to move past that but it's not going to happen overnight, ok?"

...

Eric's face lit back up once he heard Kyle's retort and he went back to holding his Jew. "For someone as emotional as you it's somewhat surprising that you don't have that ability!" he teased, leaning in to kiss Kyle's face. "So you like this? You're…" He looked away for a second before gazing back. "Happy too?"

...

"I am not _emotional_," Kyle scoffed. "I'm just… easily annoyed." He rolled his eyes before smiling at the brunet. "But… yes, I like this. I'm happy. Thank you."

...

Moving both his hands up to Kyle's neck, Eric thumbed his Jew's jaw line once more and smiled. "Okay, I think it's about time you start saying nice things about me now," he suggested, laughing to himself as he snuggled closer against the cushions. "I give you all this, but for some reason you're still so reluctant to tell me why you've been so agreeable so far. Like, why you're so okay with all this. I'm really interested! You keep saying you don't know but I wanna know now… and I think it's about time you started making sense of it."

...

"I _don't know_. There's nothing else to it," Kyle said, frowning. "I'm not _reluctant _to tell you anything, I just _don't know_. God why can't you just accept that you're obviously more comfortable with this than I am, and let me go at my own fucking pace?"

He didn't know what Cartman wanted from him. He wasn't going to lie and say that he felt all the same things Cartman was feeling, and he didn't like the pressure Cartman seemed to be putting on him to do just that. "I just _told you_ that it's still weird and it's not going to get un-weird overnight. What more do you want?"

He pushed himself off of the brunet and sat up straight, crossing his arms. "You keep asking me if you've done anything to break my trust. Well, you haven't. But that doesn't mean anything if there's no trust _to break_. Taking me to fancy restaurants and shit? That's not gaining my trust, that's just taking me out on dates. I'm sexually attracted to you, and you've been nice enough lately. That doesn't mean I trust you, or that I'm emotionally comfortable with you."

"I don't _know _how or when I'll trust you, and I don't know when I'm going to figure all this out. And I don't appreciate you trying to force feelings and opinions onto me, just because you think I'm moving too slow for you," he concluded, casting Cartman a serious look through the darkness. "My brain has _**a lot**_ of re-wiring to do when it comes to you. Just let me work this out on my own time."

...

Eric knew he had been fishing for compliments, but it's just so emotionally tiring to always be the one who initiates everything, and being the spoiled brat he is he just wanted more. It wasn't enough that Kyle was _willing_ to do these things – he wanted Kyle to _indulge_ in them. Now that he seemingly had Kyle, he wanted Kyle to feel like… he had _him_. Eric was starting to feel _desperate_ for understanding, because truthfully he felt just as confused as Kyle, but the difference was that he was willing to talk about it. He **wanted **to talk about it. He wanted to know why this was happening, how it happened, and more importantly, if it was going to continue.

"Kyle, look. I get that you're weirded out and I get that you're going to go slower than me, but believe it or not I'm kinda bewildered too… and I guess I just wanted some assurance that's all," he sulked, shifting to silently plead for Kyle to come back. "It's just… I've never been involved in something so delicate before… and this relationship of ours is like… as fine as tissue paper. I feel like anything I do or say will cause a rip and…" He crossed his arms. "I just want to know if it's still intact."

...

"I'm here, aren't I?" Kyle asked, looking over at the brunet. Even in the moonlight he could tell that Cartman was being serious, so he sighed in defeat. "It's intact. You'd know if I didn't want to do this anymore, because I would leave. That's really it. I just… _really need_ you to stop pushing me."

...

"Come back," Eric requested politely, albeit with a somewhat commanding tone. "I'm sorry I'm being paranoid." He sighed deeply. "I'm not going to push you, I just… wanted to let you know that I'm ready and excited for anything you wanna try or pursue." He smiled meekly, really stretching the whole nice guy thing so that he could snuggle with Kyle again.

...

"Yeah, alright," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. 'Excited for anything you might want to try' sure sounded sexual. _Leave it to Cartman_. Smirking, he crawled back onto the brunet, kissing the boy's neck once he was settled in.

...

"See? There you go," Eric soothed as he felt Kyle's hot mouth on his neck, grinding into him slightly as he situated Kyle's hips on top of his own. "I know you love it…" he continued to goad, absolutely _loving_ the feeling of Kyle's mouth on his neck. "You… you always fucking love it." He then became absorbed in the feeling of Kyle on him like this and relaxed deeper into the couch.

...

Kyle hummed into Cartman's neck in response, pressing his body down into the other boy's. He trailed up to the brunet's jaw then nipped at his earlobe once before pulling back just slightly. "No, I think _you '_always fucking love it'," he whispered, grinning devilishly. "It's so unbelievably easy to get you going. I barely even have to do anything."

...

"Oh okay, Jew…" Eric laughed, rolling his hips in steadier waves. "Do you want me to bring up how willing you acted once I had you against that brick wall?" He intentionally brushed his clothed erection over Kyle's and hummed. "You forget that you're just as naughty… but _that_ Kyle doesn't like to come out to play as much…" He chuckled slightly, and then shifted to growl into Kyle's ear, "_Wie traurig_…"

...

"I'm not saying I'm not willing," Kyle said, moving to kiss Cartman's lips. "Just that you're the one who gets a boner every time I look at you."

...

Eric frowned and head-butted Kyle. "Stop being a dick," he commanded, grinding into Kyle a little harder as he deviously stared into his eyes. "You're starting to get to that point. How amazing..." Eric smiled, tonguing the length of Kyle's neck. "_I'm starting to equal sex for you."_

...

"Oh, not quite," Kyle said softly, grinning as he ran his hands up Cartman's chest. "You also equal 'bigot' and 'spoiled brat', so if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about being viewed as a sex object."

...

"Yeah, well…" Eric playfully slapped Kyle's ass. "I also have a couple choice names for you… Princess, Jewface, Smartass… and you're just as much as a spoiled brat as I am, so don't think you're so high and mighty." He continued to work at Kyle's neck. "So, they're gonna set off the fireworks soon… what do you wanna do to celebrate hmm?"

...

"Funny, I've never heard of celebrating the _act _of setting off fireworks," Kyle commented, tilting his head to give Cartman better access. "I don't get why they're even doing that. Why ruin the stargazing?"

...

"Probably for the kids who are bored out of their minds," Eric laughed before starting to suck on one spot, forming a small hickey. "And fuck Jew, why should there have to be a reason to celebrate anything?" he asked once he was finished, shaking his head as he moved to bite Kyle's lip. "It's like… you're so bratty and cute I just want to fucking eat you."

...

"Damn, maybe we _should_ have stayed for dessert," Kyle muttered against Cartman's mouth. "We already have a reputation for cannibalism in this state, there's no need to reaffirm that…"

...

"Ugh, of course you'd take that literally," Eric teased as he moved his hands up to Kyle's shirt, tugging it slightly. "So... I know something that I haven't done in a while…" He nodded towards Kyle's hips. "Straddle my waist."

...

Raising an eyebrow, Kyle adjusted his position so he was straddling the larger boy. "What're you going to do…?" he asked, unsure of where this was going.

...

"Oh I'm not doing anything crazy," Eric assured as he proceeded to lift up Kyle's shirt and sit up so that he was facing the Jew's bare chest. "Hmm I loved these little Jew nipples when I got the chance to devour them that one afternoon, and you did seem to love it so…" He chuckled and then kissed one of Kyle's nipples, using his tongue to lap over it all while suckling it ever so lightly.

...

"Wait," Kyle said, pushing Cartman back and pulling his shirt down. "We shouldn't do that stuff here… someone could walk in."

He swung his leg back over and settled into the small space between the larger boy and the back of the couch. The truth was that he really didn't dig Cartman's weird nipple fixation. But on top of that, the strange sort of anonymity the dark had, and how sensual it made everything… he knew he could easily let things go further than he would if they were here in the light of day. And he couldn't let things go too far.

"Besides, we came here to look at stars, right?" he asked, draping his arm across Cartman's chest and resting his head on his shoulder. Kyle hoped he would take the hint.

…

Not understanding why Kyle was stopping this all of a sudden when he _obviously_ seemed emotive at this point, Eric peered up to the stars over the balcony before pointing to them in confusion. "Yeah they're right there!" He laughed for a second, looking back down at Kyle as he shook his head. "I asked you if you wanted to get up and look at them, but um…" He nuzzled his face into Kyle's curls. "You… wanted to do _other things_."

Wrapping his arms back around his Jew's torso, Eric started to pull Kyle's shirt up again as he joked, "Why are you changing your mind all of a sudden?"

…

"I just meant that we can look at them _without _standing up," Kyle responded, moving to lightly smack Cartman's hand away from the hem of his shirt. "And I changed my mind. Just leave it at that. I don't want to get carried away. Sorry."

…

Sighing and rolling his eyes, Eric scooted away from Kyle to sit up straight. "Okay then," he spoke nonchalantly, giving Kyle an irritated frown. "What do you wanna do? Use the telescope or something?" He flipped his hand towards the miniature one in the corner.

…

"No," Kyle sighed, sitting up as well. "I _don't_ want to use the telescope."

_We aren't in sync with each other tonight, _he thought despondently_._ In fact, it seemed like the only time they _were_ in sync was when they were doing something sexual or when they were fighting; everything in between always seemed lead to one or the other. Why couldn't they have just lain on the couch and watched the sky in silence? Kyle _thought_ that was what Cartman had brought him here to do, but it was starting to seem like he really only brought him here so they would have a fancy place to hook up.

And it seemed so obvious now that this was never going to be anything more than a confused cycle of sex and violence. Kyle thought that maybe he should just accept that. After all, that's what he wanted when all of this started, right? Cartman had just confused him into thinking it could be something more. If he was looking for someone to appreciate scenery with in peace, he was obviously looking in the wrong place. In fact, there was probably no worse place he _could_ look than Eric Cartman.

He felt silly for thinking tonight would recreate the moment they had in the parking lot after they left the county fair. And he felt even sillier for _wanting_ it to.

"Let's just go."

…

"Wait, why!" Eric called out in shock, now even more confused as he hastily looked at Kyle. "Don't you wanna watch the stars? That's why I got this place! We're alone! We don't have to deal with people! We have a telescope!" At this point he honestly_ just_ wanted Kyle to feel comfortable. He really thought this little private place would do the trick! But apparently this was not the case.

Resting back into the couch, Eric brought his hands up to look at them in confusion as he argued mostly to himself, "I… I honestly don't understand. What other way would you wanna watch the stars? I thought this was _ideal_!" He peered over to Kyle, really wanting to know _what the fuck he wanted!_

…

"Really?" Kyle asked, shooting Cartman a dumbfounded look. "You… God, Cartman, this is just… fancy sofas and expensive decorations. This isn't _stargazing_. And the telescope would only turn it into science. Looking at stars… just to look at them… it's supposed to be something you just _do_, I can't explain it. Haven't you ever just stopped to appreciate life and nature and the universe? Without the aid of fancy gadgets and new technology?"

He looked up at the sky and sighed. "God created all of this amazing stuff and everyone's just forgotten how to like, step back from it all and just fucking take a look at the universe."

Then an idea suddenly came to mind. He was right. This _wasn't_ stargazing. But it still _could_ be, he decided as he stood up to throw his coat back on. "Get up, we're going outside."

…

_Oh God_ Kyle was starting to take this to a level Eric wasn't too comfortable with. God and nature? Ugh, he knew that Kyle would somehow turn this into some preachy lesson. Is that what he wanted? Some sort of 'get in touch with oneness' experience? Damn, Eric thought that Kyle just wanted to look at some freaking stars.

_Of course,_ Eric thought to himself while getting his stuff together. "Kyle, we're already outside. And what do you mean this isn't stargazing?" He stood up once he got his jacket back on and gave Kyle an inquisitive look. "What could you do down there that you couldn't do up here!"

…

"You'll see. It's just different," Kyle replied, walking over to take Cartman's hand. "I don't know how to get back out, so… lead the way."

…

Feeling Kyle take his hand actually gave Eric a small wave of relief, because it meant that Kyle still wanted his company for whatever he wanted to do outside. Giving a small smile, Eric gripped Kyle's hand back and signaled to the door. "Come on, the exit's just down the stairwell."

Exiting the lodge while the fireworks were going off, Eric took Kyle to the opposite side of the building far away from the crowd of people watching the distracting lights. He knew that Kyle wanted to see stars, so he wanted to make sure there was nothing obstructing them; and the empty knoll which served as a small soccer field was perfect for that. It was normally a practice field for kids to play on, but no one was there tonight and it was pitch black since all the lights from the lodge were still off.

Taking his first step onto the grass, Eric glanced over to Kyle questioningly as he asked, "Is… this place good enough?"

…

Kyle nodded and pulled Cartman to the center of the field. He then sat on the grass, dragging the brunet down with him. "Ok, now lie down and just look at the sky," he demanded, letting go of Cartman so he could lie back with his hands behind his head. "Don't do anything but just look."

After a few minutes of staring at the night sky in silence, he brought his arms back down to take hold of Cartman's hand again. "It's like… don't you just feel so _insignificant_? The universe is so big and the world is so beautiful it's just… how did everything come together _so_ perfectly on this one _tiny _planet in the middle of nowhere that _life_ and evolution could happen?" he asked, trying to explain the strange sense of wonder and disbelief he always felt when he thought about existence. "It's like, how can something so endless and mysterious and _wonderful_ exist, and how can we see it _every_ night and have the audacity to take it for granted?"

He then laughed lightly and shook his head. "I don't know. All that probably didn't make any sense. It's just my brain getting overloaded I think."

…

Lying down on the grass next to Kyle, Eric realized that he had never just stared blankly at the sky before, and after seeing nothing but just… stars and the occasional satellite, he started to understand why. It was _boring_.

And when Kyle grabbed his hand again and started to speak up, getting into some rant about how they're all meaningless and the universe is so big, Eric wanted to laugh. But instead he just kept staring up, gently thumbing Kyle's hand as he responded light heartedly, "The more you think about it the more confused you'll get." He knew that this type of discussion never ended well… since there really wasn't an ultimate answer.

"It's like… sure they're pretty." He threw up his free hand to show off the sky. "But… I don't like thinking that this is all just incidental you know?" He turned his head to look at Kyle. "Like… we're just the result of all of this and that's it."

"I'm happy where I am, and if I never figure it out then oh well." He laughed slightly, but his amusement waned as Kyle's words suddenly hit him and he began to take in his amazing vulnerability and humanity. "It's not like we're going to be here for that long anyway."

…

"Christ, don't be so depressing," Kyle said, realizing that he had utterly failed at putting how he felt into words. Couldn't Cartman see? It wasn't _about_ trying to 'figure it out' or dealing with their mortality. It was about appreciation and wonder and feeling so completely overwhelmed by the beauty and perfection that were inherent to _reality_. He'd come to terms with his own existence and consciousness a long time ago, but that didn't mean he wasn't still amazed by it. Being privileged enough to be _alive, _in the mot basic sense of the word… it was one of the only things he _wasn't_ pessimistic about.

But maybe it was impossible for Cartman to understand that. Maybe Kyle was just completely insane for focusing so much energy on thinking about this stuff. Smiling at the thought, he went back to staring at the sky in silence.

…

"I'm not trying to be _depressing_," Eric argued, now looking straight up. "Call me close minded, but I like spending my time pondering over the things I _know_ and_ can understand_." He let go of Kyle's hand to lean on his side.

He let go of Kyle's hand to lean on his side, propping his elbow on the ground and resting his head in the palm of his hand. "Learning new things is fine when I know that there's a solid answer that I can get to, but something as vast as understanding the universe?" He glanced up at the stars before looking back down at Kyle. "If it was something we could understand we'd be unstoppable. But we'd probably just cause our own extinction."

Reflecting on that for a mere second, Eric reached out to calmly run his free hand down Kyle's arm before giving him a small smile. "That's why I'm happy with what I know." Eric laughed, narrowing his eyes as he teased, "Like… I know that I'm here with you and we haven't killed each other yet."

…

Kyle smiled half heartedly, noticing that Cartman seemed to have given up on stargazing. "Are you bored of this?" he asked, not sure how anyone could get bored of something so peaceful and awe-inspiring. But Cartman was never one to be satisfied doing simple things; he always had to show off and have the best of everything. "We can leave if you want."

…

"No." Eric shook his head slightly, still looking at Kyle as he sat up and crossed his legs. "I'm quite content with this… being alone out here with you." He gave Kyle a sardonic look. "We don't get this peace of mind very often."

Gazing out to the vast forest around them, Eric calmed down significantly. "Something about… feeling like you're away from everything…" He inhaled, feeling the crisp mountain air fill his lungs before closing his eyes in deep thought. "Like nothing else matters… it's nice for me. Clears my head."

…

"Yeah," Kyle agreed quietly, glancing at Cartman. "It's nice."

He went back to gazing up at the sky, folding his hands on his stomach. Cartman was right, it did feel good to be away from everything, and Kyle certainly felt much more comfortable out here on the grass than he did in the patio or at the restaurant. So maybe this was just Cartman's way of appreciating nature in its quiet magnificence.

"You're right, though. What you said before about us not killing each other yet," he said, smirking up at Cartman. "The last time I told you the scenery was beautiful, you tried to kill me with a wiffle bat."

…

Eric furrowed his face up in contemplation, initially not getting the reference. "Wait…" he tried to recall, looking down at Kyle. "Wasn't that after when we like… TP'ed our fourth grade art teacher's house?" He then suddenly remembered the whole incident, a wide grin spreading across his face. "When we made that dick out of clay and she held it up to her mouth?" He started to laugh more and shook his head. "Fuck, those were some fucking awesome times."

…

"Yeah, awesome for YOU, because you were a fucking _dick_ and ratted us out before we had a chance to come clean, just so YOU could get out of trouble," Kyle said, suddenly frowning as the context of the wiffle bat murder attempt came back to him. "You had no idea what we felt guilty about, or _why _we felt that way!"

He sat up, too distracted now to even think about looking at the stars. "And not even just that! Cartman, you were the. WORST. Person. _Ever_ back then. Those were _not_ awesome times," he said, entirely serious. He was suddenly sorry he even brought anything up. The wiffle bat thing was funny and innocent enough, despite the intentions behind it. But the reality was that Cartman actually really _was_ responsible for _multiple_ deaths. He was a criminal and a sociopath, and Kyle had been essentially ignoring that fact up until now. He felt a rush of guilt and nausea run through him. "I… I can't think about this right now. Talk about something else please."

…

"I didn't even bring it up to begin with!" Eric defended, shaking his head as he hesitantly leaned away from Kyle. "I was just talking about making that dick out of clay in class!"

He peered at his Jew inquisitively, nervous as all hell about where the conversation seemed to be going. "That's all behind me." He went back to looking at the forest. "I hate how you fucking dwell on all the negatives."

Scowling, Eric shifted his eyes back to Kyle before he dared to mention, "Wanna talk about stuff we did in the past? You weren't so awesome either, by the way. With your Mr. Hankey nonsense… going through the fucking sewers to make sure a _piece of crap_ was okay." He puffed, giving his redhead an incredulous look as he laid back down on the grass. "And you give _me_ shit…" Eric laughed at his obvious pun.

…

Kyle hugged his knees to his chest and glared down at Cartman. "Mr. Hankey wasn't _nonsense_. You know as well as I do that he's real, and he _wasn't_ okay down there, in case you forgot. _You _may not like him, but he saved our town from those pretentious, health food loving, hippie Hollywood people, and the fact that you would put that on the _same level_ as…"

He frowned again and shook his head. No, he wanted to _drop_ the subject of their childhood. He couldn't keep arguing about it if he didn't want to continue to dwell on the veritable _crime_ he was committing by dating Cartman. "Never mind," he said, trying to smile as genuinely and apologetically as he could. "Hey, I'm kind of done with this. Can we go home?"

…

But Eric _wasn't_ done. He wasn't done at all. He could tell Kyle wasn't being sincere and hated the fact that he was fucking faking and _running from it AGAIN._

"Kyle, it's becoming more obvious that you seem to have forgotten_ why_ you even agreed to follow through with this in the first place," he snapped as he forced himself back up, getting to his feet. "Don't you remember? The first time we hooked up in the library?" He shoved his hands in his pockets as he sheepishly stared down at his Jew. "What… what your eyes told me? That you've been wrong about me – and after everything we've done since then I'm pretty sure you can confirm that by now!"

Looking back up at the sky, Eric felt his stomach churn as he seethed, "I'm so fucking sick of being the one who has to constantly remind you of why you feel the way you do. Can't you do that for yourself by now?" He looked back down, not at Kyle, but at the ground.

"If you don't think this will work out just tell me now. I don't want to waste my fucking time." He clenched his teeth and thought about what he just set himself up for, knowing what would happen if Kyle gave up on him now.

…

Kyle sighed and stood up to face Cartman, prepared to talk even if the brunet didn't want to look at him. "You aren't _reminding_ me of anything. You're _telling_ me what _you_ want me to feel. You might _think_ you're doing me a favor or helping me somehow, because that's just how your brain works, and I know that, but…" He bit his lip. "You can't just… tell me what to think or how to feel and expect me to go along with it."

He crossed his arms and let out another sigh. This was entering really delicate territory. "And I… I don't really think this _will_ work out. At least not the way you seem to want it to. Like I said, you've done nothing to gain my trust. You've taken me out on dates and done nothing that would have _broken_ my trust if you already had it, but that's just it – you _didn't_," he tried to explain again, looking down at the ground. "And it's not that I just _lack_ trust. I actually fully _dis_trust you. And I don't think I'll ever get over that. So… maybe you are wasting your time."

…

Staring out emptily in front of him as Kyle gave him his answer, Eric then swallowed a lump of grief and blankly turned around to give his Jew a conclusive look. "Well then…" He smiled slightly and slowly reached out his hand. "Let's get you home."

…

Surprised that Cartman hadn't argued back at him, Kyle meekly took his hand. "… Ok," he said quietly, not really sure how to process such a benign reaction.

…

As soon as Kyle took his hand, Eric pulled him in closer, forcefully gripping onto him as he growled in his Jew's face, "You think it would be that easy?" He shook Kyle and continued to yell, "**You'd fucking give up that fucking soon**?"

Audibly grinding his teeth together, Eric pushed Kyle to ground with all of his might. "What did I say Kyle?" he shouted, fists clenched. "I FUCKING SAID I WOULDN'T HURT YOU AS LONG AS YOU NEVER FUCKING HURT ME!" He lifted one of his boots up, ready to grind it into Kyle's torso before he took a mental step back to look at himself and the situation.

And he couldn't fucking do it. Not like this – not when he felt this upset.

"And now look at what you've done." Eric brought his foot back to the ground as he reconsidered, still staring at Kyle with enraged eyes. "Your doubt ruined us."

Turning around to walk towards the parking lot, the brunet called back one last time, "Go ahead and live in the past." He paused, his voice cracking as he darkly insinuated, "It's all you'll have to remember me by anyway."

…

Heart racing, Kyle pushed himself off the ground and back onto his feet. A part of him, a large part, wanted nothing more than to rush at Cartman while his back was turned and start wailing on him. But… Cartman had stopped himself from actually _hurting_ him. And what's more, although the brunet _had_ stopped himself, Kyle was still left sufficiently frightened of his rage. Would he honestly stand a chance against Cartman if he started a physical fight? He wasn't sure anymore.

So he just brushed himself off and tried to swallow his fear and anger. Catching up to Cartman, he took a nervous breath before timidly offering, "I can call my mom. You don't have to bring me home." He figured it was the only thing he could do in this situation. And he wasn't sure he wanted to be in a car with Cartman now anyway. He drove recklessly when he was upset, as Kyle had learned the last time they came to this place.

…

After hearing Kyle meekly offer to call his mom, Eric stopped in his tracks and gripped his hair in rage. "SO what!" he quickly turned around, glaring at Kyle again. "You're gonna fucking let me do that to you? You're not going to fucking charge at me?"

Shaking his head in disgust, Eric suddenly felt nauseous. "I don't get you anymore. You fucking tell me one minute that you don't think it's going to work out, I fucking _attack_ you, and then you just run to mommy?" Dropping his arms back down to his side, Eric started to laugh hysterically. "Do I even know you?"

Bewildered as all hell, Eric closed the gap in between them once more. "**Do something**!" he yelled, completely taken aback by Kyle's reaction. "Show me that you're not just some fucking confused teenager who can't make up his own God damned mind about what to do about his future!"

…

"I _am_ a confused teenager!" Kyle retorted, taking a step back away from Cartman, who had apparently snapped. "God, do you actually WANT me to fight you?"

He put his hands up to signal his confusion and frustration as he glared up at the brunet. "I don't fucking know what you want from me! You ask for the truth and then I _tell _you the truth, and then you flip a shit and expect me to attack you? _I don't understand!_ You seem to want this to be meaningful and perfect, and you want me to fucking trust you, but you _also_ want me to fight with you… if that's not fucked up I don't know what is."

Shaking his head, he shoved his hands in his coat pockets. "I think you're more confused than I am."

…

Pursing his lips together, Eric calmly took a step towards Kyle to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, not trying to intimidate his Jew in the least. "You're right. You do fucking confuse the hell out of me," he laughed lightly, taking his other hand to trace the redhead's jaw line and tilt his head up.

"But do you know when I don't feel confused about you?" Eric asked, gazing into Kyle's eyes. "When I do this…" He quickly lowered his head down to claim Kyle's lips once again, more confident about this action than any other he had made that night.

…

This kiss felt… different. Kyle didn't really know how else to describe it. It wasn't forceful in the least, but the brunet seemed to be putting a lot into it, and although Kyle wasn't sure what to make of the apparent _weight_ it held, he responded. He was being honest before when he said he wasn't sure if this would, or _could_, work out, be he never said it certainly couldn't.

So when the kiss ended, he smirked up at the other boy. "If you still want me to attack you, I will," he joked nervously, still shaken up by what had happened minutes before. "But I've been fighting you every step of the way in all this and you always seem so annoyed by it."

He then shuffled his feet and cast his gaze down. "I didn't make you come outside to argue or break up. I really only wanted to show you that stargazing doesn't have to be fancy or complicated," he said, feeling the need to explain that he didn't intend for the night to end this way. "I'm sorry."

…

Gently resting his forehead against Kyle's, Eric smiled longingly as he carried his hands down to his Jew's hips. "Like the vast and ever-expanding universe… maybe we're not supposed to understand this relationship Kyle. Maybe we never will," he alluded, holding Kyle in place as he carefully started to sway him playfully.

"But you know what?" Eric asked, still mock-dancing with Kyle under the stars. "I don't care!"

Sliding his hands up to wrap his arms around Kyle's waist, Eric continued to rock Kyle in his hold as he started to explain, "Because when I'm with you, somehow I do feel some kind of understanding." He rested his head on Kyle's red curls, nuzzling him softly as he closed his eyes. "I don't really know what this is but… maybe you can equate it to the feeling _you_ get from looking at the stars." He looked back up at the shimmering night sky.

"It seems like it brings you a sort of absolution. That's what I feel when I'm with _you_." He peered back down at Kyle, laughing suddenly. "Sorry if that's a bit much but… what can I say? It's the truth."

…

"Well… I guess I can't yell at you for flipping a shit over the truth and then go around and do the same thing, so uh…" Kyle conceded, although Cartman's admission had honestly freaked him out. He already knew Cartman was currently more invested in this than he was, he just hadn't known how _much_ more. And he had no idea how to respond to this. "Thanks. I guess flattery can get you _some_ places."

He laughed and lightly kissed the brunet. "Well tonight's been exhausting," he said, trying to cover up how awkward he felt at the moment. "Can we go home yet?"

…

Feeling a wave of boyish delight overtake him, Eric shot Kyle a toying grin as he responded, "Only if…" He playfully pushed his Jew away and dashed off toward the parking lot. "YOU CAN BEAT ME TO THE CAR!"

…

Rolling his eyes, Kyle broke into a sprint to chase Cartman down. He caught up to him quickly enough, fighting the urge to push him over once he was neck and neck with him. But he didn't, and despite the head start the fatass got, Kyle beat him to the car with relative ease.

"Well that was easy," he stated smugly once Cartman arrived at the 'finish line'.

…

"It was supposed to be," Eric replied through his panting, slumping against the driver's side of the car. "The lodge is supposed to close soon anyway." He unlocked the car, slowly getting in.

"So where am I taking you?" he asked, smirking a little as he raised his eyebrows questioningly.  
"You asked 'can we go home', not 'can you take me home'."

…

Kyle laughed as he walked to the other side of the car. "I meant 'can you take me home'," he confirmed once inside the car. He buckled his seatbelt and waited for Cartman to get situated before adding, "I shouldn't stay over tonight – Shabbat tomorrow."

…

"Ughh… typical," Eric scoffed, starting the car. "Using your religion as an excuse to get away from me." He pulled out of the space, and began to make his way out of the lot. "For someone who's obsessed with 'the unknown' you sure are predictable…" he joked, casually taking Kyle's hand into his own as the car began to weave down the road.

…

"I'm not _obsessed_," Kyle argued, shifting to get more comfortable in his seat but not removing his hand from Cartman's. "And I'm not _that_ predictable… am I?"

…

Eric grimaced as he recalled all of the things that happened that night: from the weird fancy dinner, to the awkward balcony moments, and finally to the mood-swings that occurred on the soccer field. Nothing was 'predictable' about any of that, so Eric gripped Kyle's hand possessively and answered, "_No_… not as much as I'd like anyway…"

As he exhaled a conclusive breath and smiled tiredly, Eric realized he actually felt _winded _from the night they had. "But hey, what's the fun of knowing the ending to a story that's barely even started?" He gave Kyle a teasing look, releasing his hand to place his own on the steering wheel.

…

"Yeah… I guess you're right," Kyle agreed, smiling. He leaned his head against the window and tried to start figuring out what the hell happened tonight. But… he could barely even stay awake, so he certainly didn't have the energy to tackle such a thought process at the moment. As he tried to force his eyelids to stay open, he decided that maybe he needed someone to talk to about all of this. But now wasn't the time to worry about who. He looked out the side window to watched the scenery, illuminated only vaguely by the car's headlights, whisk by them. Then, gradually, he let himself drift off to sleep.

…

**A/N:** Yup… yeeeeah. Feedback is appreciated, as usual.


	16. July 26th

**A/N:** Short chapter today… just a convo between Kyle and Wendy.

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Sixteen – Monday, July 26th

"Alright, out with it."

Kyle felt himself wince a bit. Of course Wendy could tell he had some ulterior motive for coming over today. He had texted her that afternoon asking to hang out because he spent the entire weekend dwelling on what had happened with Cartman, and was only confusing himself more. So in a moment of desperation, he sought her out, fully intending on disclosing everything to her. Of course, he regretted sending the text just about right after he did it.

But now here he was, lying on Wendy's bed with her, staring at the ceiling. They had talked about colleges and politics and television, because he kept trying to think of new things to talk about so he could put off having the conversation he came here to have, but she was… well, she was _Wendy_, and Wendy was perceptive.

"Don't pretend you didn't hear me," she demanded, turning over and propping herself up on her elbow. "I could tell from your text that there was something specific you wanted to talk about. So, out with it."

"I just wanted to hang out," he replied, trying to maintain eye contact with her. He really wished he was better at lying. It was a skill that would surely serve him well, but he'd just never been able to do it convincingly. He'd make a pretty awful lawyer.

Sighing, Wendy flopped onto her back. "Alright, I guess I have to be the one to say it then… Did something happen with Cartman?"

"What?" he practically yelped, turning his head to look at her. _How did she know?_

"Come on, Kyle, you couldn't have _been_ moreobvious at the fair! Babysitting? Really? Maybe _Stan's_ dumb enough to believe that, but I sure as hell didn't," she explained, shooting him a victorious grin. "So?"

He sighed. "Ok, well… the tutoring thing was real. That happened. But no, I'm not babysitting him. I… um."

"How did it happen?"

"The tutoring?"

"No, the dating. Or… whatever it is you're doing." She raised an eyebrow at him. Kyle felt like killing himself.

"Oh. Uh. Ok. Was it that obvious?" he asked sheepishly. She grinned and nodded. "Ugh. Alright, well, I guess… in May. During the tutoring. He… I dunno, he kissed me."

He could feel Wendy's eyes on him as he looked back toward the ceiling. He knew he was blushing like a fucking freak, but it was just so _weird_ saying this stuff out loud. Cartman had done most of the talking when they were with Kenny. Here it was just him. Just good ol' awkward as fuck Kyle.

"So, what, you like him?" she asked after a moment, sounding skeptical. She, of course, had every right to be.

"No. Well… I don't know. That's what I'm trying to figure out… It's like… I hate him. But obviously this isn't what people do with people they hate. And like, I can't ignore who he is or what he's done, but it's like, I _want_ to… sometimes… it's really annoying." He laughed and shook his head, because his feelings about all of this sounded so much more stupid and ridiculous when they were vocalized. Although he'd told Cartman on _multiple_ occasions that he didn't trust him and he couldn't forget their past, he'd never actually admitted that maybe he _wanted_ to.

"Well, to be honest… I always kind of expected this to happen," Wendy said, as if Kyle's confession had been something so obvious to her. He gave her an incredulous look. "I mean, he's always been so _focused_ on you and you've always reacted so strongly to him; it just kind of seemed… inevitable. Though I wasn't expecting actual _dating_. More like… rage sex."

"Ugh, Wendy. Really?" Kyle asked, feeling a blush creep over his face. Part of him couldn't believe she just said such a thing, but then… wasn't rage sex basically what he'd wanted to begin with? Cartman was the one who turned it into something else before anything even happened. Kyle had wanted something meaningless. "It's not… we aren't dating."

"Do you go on dates?"

"No," he lied.

"The fair seemed an awful lot like a date."

"Fine, we've gone on dates."

"Then you're dating."

"It's not… ugh, it's not that simple," he combated, still not wanting to admit that he was in a relationship with Eric Cartman.

"Oh I'm sure it isn't," she conceded, and then fell silent for a moment. "… So, if this has been going on since May, why did you wait so long to tell me about it? I wouldn't have been mad."

"I thought you would be."

"I hate Eric Cartman. That's for sure. But like I said, this was kind of inevitable. And I guess he's attractive in his own way. So… I'm not going to say you should stop this," she looked at him and smiled deviously. "But if he does anything to hurt you, I'll kill him myself. And I told him so at the fair."

"You didn't."

"Oh, I did." Her smile widened. "Come on, you were being so obvious, I had to send you and Stan off to get French fries so I could get Cartman alone and threaten him! You're my friend. I wasn't about to let him take advantage of you."

"He's _not_."

"So why are you so reluctant to admit that you're dating? And why do keep reminding yourself of his past if you think he's treating you alright _now_?"

Sighing, Kyle returned his gaze to the ceiling. "I don't know. I just can't let it go."

"What are you afraid of?" she asked, propping herself up on her elbow again. He glanced at her briefly, brow furrowed.

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"Well if you're refusing to accept that maybe he's different now, you're obviously afraid of _something_. I mean, I understand. I do. I trust that guy about as much as I'd trust Hitler," she said, laughing. "But obviously you went along with this for a reason. And you're still with him… so there has to be something there, right? So, what's holding you back?"

"I don't know… I guess… I'm afraid of trusting him. In case, like, it's a mistake," he tried to explain, but quickly realized that he probably wasn't making much sense. "Like, if I trust him or whatever, and he turns around and does something horrible, then…" He inhaled, not sure if he was ready to admit this. "I'd be devastated. I… I know I would. So I guess I'm just… I don't know."

"Preparing for the worst?"

"Yeah. Like, I'm reminding myself of who he is and what I'm involving myself with, so later when he commits some atrocity, I can take at least _some_ comfort in having known it all along. If that makes sense."

"But what if he never does anything and you go your entire life being paranoid for no reason?" she asked, her expression completely serious.

Kyle wanted to laugh, because he _certainly_ didn't intend on spending his _entire_ _life_ with Cartman. But he got her point. What if Cartman actually _had_ left the past behind him? Was Kyle really just being paranoid for no reason? Cartman had been trying _so_ hard to treat him right and act like a gentleman, and Kyle had been fighting him every step of the way because of his paranoia. He knew it had to be frustrating for Cartman, but he couldn't just _forget_ their history. And Cartman was nothing more or less than _deluded_ if he thought he could win Kyle's affections so easily. Kyle was sure, he was _positive_, that if he gave into this, he would only end up disillusioned and… maybe, _maybe_ even heartbroken.

"I don't think I can stop being paranoid. It's just… like, when someone tortures you endlessly for years and then all of a sudden starts to act like he's fucking _Romeo, _obviously you're going to be skeptical, right? Of course I'm suspicious of his motives," Kyle said, trying to justify his reluctance for what felt like the hundredth time. He hated having to explain himself, because he felt like his feelings didn't _have _to be justified. It was _Cartman_. Did anything else really have to be said? "… I just don't want to be let down."

"I understand."

"And like, I feel like this is really pissing him off. He wants me to feel all these feelings and respond to him the way he thinks I should, but I just _can't_ and he doesn't fucking understand why! And every day I have to fucking explain to him that he's CARTMAN and I'm KYLE and that _alone_ makes it impossible for me to just fucking throw caution to the wind! I feel like nothing else needs to be said, like I shouldn't _have_ to explain myself, and he just seems so _angry_ about it!"

He sat up, suddenly enraged over Cartman's idiocy. "And then he goes and asks me if he's wasting his time by trying to be with me, expecting the fucking truth, and I tell him, 'yeah, maybe you are', and then he fucking flips a shit over it! As if he expected another answer!"

"Wait, when did that happen?" Wendy asked, sitting up as well.

"The other night."

"You got into a fight about this?"

"We _always_ fight over this. Ugh, it sounds so dramatic, but… I've walked out on him like at least twice, and he's always let me go. But this time, he freaked out, and I didn't even leave or say it was over or anything! He was so _mad_ at me over something that's been the case since we started this. It didn't make any sense and… it really freaked me out."

She furrowed her brow. "What did he do that freaked you out?"

"He… uh. He yelled at me, and like… grabbed me and shook me, and then threw me down and… like, I thought he was going to kick me or something but he didn't. He just walked away. And he told me to live in the past, because that's the only thing I'd have to remember him by… whatever _that_ means."

"Oh my God, Kyle! That sounds…" she began, but then stopped and bit her lip. "Never mind."

Kyle looked at her. Concern was written all over her face. He furrowed his brow. "What? Just say it."

"It just… that sounds like a threat," she suggested nervously and began to play with her hair absentmindedly. "Like, what he said… it sounds like a _suicide_ threat."

"What? No. You're watching too much TV, Wendy. It wasn't like that," he retorted, though he wasn't so sure she was wrong. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind, but Cartman had always been melodramatic.

"No, it sounds like it definitely _was_ like that. You told him something he didn't want to hear, he _hit you_, and then threatened to kill himself to get you to stay with him. That sounds really, REALLY bad, Kyle," she warned.

"No. You're misinterpreting what I said. He didn't _hit_ me. He… well I already said what he did. But, I've pushed him before. This is no different from that... and this was the _first _time he'd ever done anything like that," Kyle argued, growing defensive. "And he didn't say that to get me to stay, he just, like, he was just pissed off. And we're still together anyway, so…"

"So threatening suicide worked."

"NO, it _didn't_, because I didn't even realize that's what he meant!" _God why isn't she getting it?_ "We just made up and everything was fine! _That's all._"

"Of course everything was fine! He got what he wanted, right? You're still with him, he didn't have to follow through on his threat, and he hit you with no consequences. Once again, everything worked out _perfectly_ for Eric Cartman and _you're_ left trying to justify being in a relationship with a psychopath!"

Kyle groaned and got off the bed. Wendy was taking everything out of context; this conversation was clearly a bad idea. _Nice going, self._ "That's not how it was, Wendy! He said he _wanted _me to fight back!"

"Oh, so he gets off on violence. Even better!"

"NO! He just… God, I don't know! But you're misinterpreting everything I'm saying! You're turning this into some kind of… God, you're just like Kenny!"

She stood up as well, one eyebrow cocked. "Kenny?"

"Yeah! He was all like 'I'm ok with it until _one of you_ gets hurt', giving me this _look_, like he felt _sorry_ for me or something. And now you're doing the same thing! It's not fucking like that! I'm not, and will _never _be, some kind of fucking victim!" he yelled, glaring daggers at his concerned friend.

"Kyle, I'm not saying you are! That's not what I'm saying _at all_!" she argued, putting her hands up in surrender. "But like you said, it's _Cartman_! Jesus, forgive me for questioning if he's approaching this in a healthy and mature way!"

Sighing, Kyle sat back down on the bed and hung his head. "I know. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like, I question this _every_ day and tell myself it's a bad idea and a mistake, but when someone else does the same thing, I get all defensive about it. I think I'm going crazy."

"Well, that's normal," she said, sitting down next to him. "I'm the same way. I beat myself up over everything, but if someone tries to tell me how to do something or offers to help me, I freak out. We're both just stubborn like that. And maybe I _did_ misinterpret what you just told me. I wasn't there, so I can't really know. If you say it wasn't like that, then…" She gave him a reluctant look. "Then I believe you. I shouldn't judge your relationship, and I'm sorry I did. But I also can't tell _you_ how to feel about it. So I guess… the only person who can tell you how to feel and act is yourself. Because you know as well as I do that you won't listen to anyone else."

He rolled his eyes, more over his own inanity than what Wendy had said. He looked at her and she smiled comfortingly. "So… be honest with me, even if I won't listen to a word you say… Do you think this is a mistake?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I think you were bored with life three months ago, and now you aren't. He's a nutcase, but you aren't exactly the epitome of normalcy either. And like I said before, he's always been abnormally focused on you. And maybe that _could_ be a bad thing, but it could also be a good thing… if you let it." She started to soothingly rub his back. "I say just roll with it. Try to relax and deal with things as they come. Maybe worse shit than what happened the other night will happen, but maybe it won't. You can't expect the worst, because then you'll only get the worst."

"Like a self-fulfilling prophecy."

"Exactly. And if things get more dangerous, I'll personally see to it that he pays for it," she concluded with a grin. He smiled at the memory of Wendy beating the shit out of Cartman when they were nine. And despite Cartman's current size and strength, Kyle would bet money on her being able to do it again.

"Thanks, but… I can handle it," he told her as he stood up again.

"Kyle." He looked down at her; her face suddenly grew serious. "I'm not going to tell Stan."

"Ok… thanks."

"But you need to."

"Wendy…"

"He's your best friend."

"He'll hate me."

"He _won't_ hate you. If anything, he'll be _more_ pissed that you hid this from him for so long."

Kyle rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Wendy, I think you need to reconsider what you just said. This is _Cartman._ Me… and Cartman. Stan's going to flip a shit," he informed, sighing. "I _know_ he will. He'll freak out and tell me to stop this."

"And?"

"And what?"

"Kyle, the only reason I can think of why you'd be so afraid to tell him is because you think you'd listen to him if he told you to stop."

"That's… that's not it."

"I think it _is_ it. I know how you and Stan are, and I know how hard it must be for you to make this decision without him. You want to be in this relationship, but you know Stan wouldn't want you do be, and so you're avoiding telling him because you're afraid of what will happen when he tells you to do something you don't want to do."

"Which is…?"

"End things with Cartman."

They looked at each other in silence for what felt, to Kyle, like forever. He knew Wendy was exactly right, though he didn't want to admit it. He was well aware of the real reason he didn't want to tell Stan. It wasn't because he thought Stan would hate him or because it would probably result in a physical fight between Stan and Cartman. It was because his best friend would undoubtedly tell him that he needed to put a stop to this, and… he was afraid that he would do it. Because Stan had always been Kyle's voice of reason when he was doing stupid things, and Kyle was always Stan's voice of reason when it was _him _being an idiot. That's how it had always been. And in the back of his mind, Kyle knew that maybe this thing with Cartman was exactly the kind of stupid thing that would cause Stan to put his foot down. And maybe… this fear that Stan would convince him to stop was just his subconscious telling him that maybe he wanted to stop… and he just needed someone to reach out to him and give him the push he needed.

It sounded so stupid, even in his head, the idea of being so unconfident in your actions that you'd just _listen_ to whoever told you to stop.

"You don't have to do it now," Wendy said, her voice breaking Kyle's train of thought. "But… soon. Especially if this gets more serious. You can't hide it forever, you know."

"… I know." And he did know. He knew it would have to happen someday, he just didn't know when. What was he waiting for, anyway? Stan was going to have the same reaction regardless of the confession's time and place. Maybe… maybe he was just waiting for some kind of sign… a way of knowing this whole thing was worth sticking up for. He needed Cartman to prove that he was worth staying with.

He looked down at Wendy, who was still seated. "Wendy?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

"Kyle, I had a woman _shot into the sun_ just because she was nice to Stan," she answered plainly. "You're asking the wrong person."

He laughed and looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. "This isn't what I was expecting at all. How can you act so cool about this?" 

"The way I see it is this: If anyone can keep Cartman in line, it's you. If he falls for you, then your power over him is limitless," she said, shrugging and grinning deviously. "Men are easily controllable. You've seen how I have Stan wrapped around my finger."

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I have… can't say I approve."

"Don't worry, he does things on his own free will about ninety-nine percent of the time," she defended coolly, still grinning. "What I'm trying to say is, if you play your cards right, you'll have the same effect on Cartman. And if you're the one controlling him, he won't be such a menace to society. So… everyone wins."

"Except Cartman."

"Well he'll be fucking you, won't he?"

"Wendy!"

"I'm serious!" she said, laughing. "He wins too! Besides, if you do everything right he won't even _know_ he's powerless against you. Ignorance is bliss, right?"

"You're fucking crazy."

"Don't tell me the idea doesn't appeal to you."

He grinned and rolled his eyes. It did seem more appealing to be the one in control than the one getting talked down to. "Alright, I've got to get home for dinner, but thanks for the lesson on being an effective 'girlfriend'."

"Any time."

He walked to her bedroom door, thinking about what she said and how it really _did_ appeal to him in just about every possible way, but stopped just as he put his handle on the doorknob to look back at her. "Thanks for understanding, Wendy."

"I've got your back, Kyle. Even when you eventually talk to Stan," she assured, and he left the room and shut the door behind him.

As he made his way out of her house and into the street, he couldn't help feeling like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Wendy essentially just said she would take his side when it came to telling Stan. That would make things _so _much easier. And with Kenny on their side, too, it seemed like Stan would be totally outnumbered.

And then it hit him: out of everyone who knew about it, it seemed like the only person who wasn't one hundred percent on board with this relationship was… himself.

But what he knew at this point was that he certainly _wanted_ this to work out. He wanted to trust Cartman. He did. But he just couldn't make himself. Trust wasn't something Kyle could just will into existence, Cartman had to earn it somehow. And if Cartman was really serious about wanting Kyle's trust and about leaving the past behind him, then it was only a matter of time.

However, he also knew that Cartman couldn't earn his trust if he kept telling him how to feel. And he certainly couldn't earn it by grabbing him and shoving him the way he did the other night. Something was definitely off in their relationship, something that Kyle wasn't and _shouldn't_ be comfortable with. And that needed to change.

…

**A/N:** Reviews are loved!


	17. July 28th

**A/N:** So another update, late again. Guys, **please read the Author's Note at the end of this chapter**, since it's very important!

**Disclaimer:** Neither of us own anything South Park related besides merchandise.

…

Part Seventeen – Wednesday, July 28th

It was the middle of the week, and Eric had been doing next to nothing other than sleeping and taking the occasional walk. Though he wasn't much of a walker, the mindless movement really helped him think about the way he had acted Friday night and the reaction both he and Kyle had to the whole thing.

He couldn't get his mind around the fact that Kyle essentially insinuated that he didn't view this relationship as long term… which shouldn't have been surprising, but to hear that said out loud was just overwhelming. But why? Eric really didn't understand why it got to him the way it did. Of course Kyle didn't see this working out; Kyle didn't have a clue about anything when it came to their relationship.

Eric knew that he over reacted, but at the same time he also knew that how he perceived the situation had to change _yet again._ He went into this thinking that a long term relationship might grow from it, but now he knew that was much too idealistic.

There was another thing bugged him too. After he pushed Kyle to the ground and pathetically threatened to kill himself, the Jew actually came back to him _again_. This just wasn't making sense, and Eric knew that for it to make sense he would have to be the one to draw the blueprint of how this whole thing needed to happen because LORD KNOWS Kyle didn't have a clue.

But maybe that was for the better… maybe this whole thing should go unplanned and stay unpredictable for them both.

No, Eric didn't want to relinquish that control. He didn't want to wake up every day thinking that Kyle could either call him to tell him that he wanted to mess around… or call him to tell him that it was all over.

When Eric finally made his way back home after circling the cul-de-sac, he was just as confused as he was when he left. Luckily, he knew that it was only a matter of time before Kyle would predictably call him. It had already been about five days, and Eric was starting to see a pattern when it came to the amount of time it took for Kyle to get over a monumental step that occurred in their relationship.

And wouldn't you know it, right when Eric got to the stoop of his front door he felt his phone vibrate. Marveling over his brilliant insight, Eric quickly took his phone out of pocket to check to see who it was – and he was right!

Pressing the button to answer, Eric smirked as he said slyly, "I had a feeling you'd call today…"

…

"What're you doing right now?" Kyle asked once Cartman picked up his phone. "I want to get out of my house."

…

_Well… he's not calling me to tell me it's over. That's a good sign._

"Okay, where do you wanna go?" Eric answered, opening his front door to run up to his room.

…

"I… don't know," Kyle responded, realizing that he really hadn't thought this through at all. He had gotten a sudden urge to just _leave_, and immediately called Cartman without even thinking about it. He didn't have a destination in mind. "Just… out?"

…

Eric furrowed his brow in confusion as he entered his room and grabbed his keys. "Um okay," he responded as he ran back downstairs. "I'm walking out the door right now. I'll be over at your place in like… a minute." Closing the door behind him, Eric remotely unlocked his car before he teased, "Think you can hold out until then?"

…

"Of course," Kyle replied coolly before hanging up. He then got up from his bed, grabbed a light zip-up sweatshirt to throw on over his t-shirt, and went downstairs to wait for Cartman. Once he saw the familiar silver car pull up, he quietly slipped out of the house.

…

Eric watched as made his way to the passenger side of the car, and right away he could tell that something was off. It wasn't a bad feeling per se, but it certainly wasn't right. It was as though the moment that Kyle got into the car the whole atmosphere got a little hazier. However, Eric wasn't going to let that affect anything.

"So," he began, putting the car into drive to speed away from the residential area. "There's no real destination?" He peered over toward Kyle a little, sliding his hand down to open his window.

…

"No, I guess not." Kyle lowered his window as well, watching the scenery go by. After a moment he looked over at the brunet. "I just wanted to get out for a while," he explained, shrugging. "Kind of weird, I know."

…

"Understandable," Eric responded in a plain and simple manner, driving onto the town's main road as the breeze started to whip into the car at a faster rate. Inhaling some of the fresh air, he smiled a bit. "I guess you've got a lot to think about."

…

"Yeah…" Kyle said, looking back out the window as Cartman merged onto Route 285. He did have a lot to think about. He had gone to Wendy the other day in a half-baked attempt to sort things out, but he left feeling almost _more _confused. Telling Cartman about the conversation he had with Wendy probably wasn't the best idea, since he absolutely abhorred the girl, but she raised some points that Kyle felt might need to be addressed. So, he took a deep breath and returned his gaze to the brunet.

"Listen, about Friday…" he began, but then trailed off, unable to find the words he was looking for.

…

"I shouldn't have pushed you," Eric said bluntly, ready to talk about Friday night himself after all the random meditative walks he'd been taking. He absentmindedly turned onto Route 9 to leave South Park. "And I shouldn't have implied what I implied."

…

"But did you _mean_ what you implied?" Kyle asked slowly, glad that Cartman seemed to already know what he wanted to talk about, but also perturbed that Wendy was apparently right. It wasn't just a slip of the tongue or a simple case of weird wording. Apparently it really _was_ a threat. And Kyle wasn't sure how to feel about that.

…

Eric thought about how he should respond to that, because he knew that to tell Kyle about his whole 'I can't live without you' thing would still be too much at this point, but at the same time he knew that he couldn't keep lying like he was. They were at a point now where honesty was necessary and anything else would set them apart even more.

"No," he answered truthfully. "I wasn't really being serious."

Eric continued to speed down the small highway as he contemplated how he should explain his thinking. "The reason I blurted that out is just because I was so fed up with everything… but honestly if this whole thing doesn't work out I think I would just be really _really_ upset," he admitted, shrugging a tad. "Depressed even, but not suicidal." He smiled slightly, giving Kyle a reassuring look before changing lanes to pass a slower car. "I just know that it would really fuck everything up…"

…

Kyle cringed slightly at the word 'suicidal', but tried to recover quickly enough to return the look Cartman gave him. If he was telling the truth, then that was such a relief. Kyle didn't want to have to walk on eggshells on a permanent basis, constantly worrying about when he would slip up and push Cartman over the edge. This shit was already fucked up as it was, they didn't need to add that extra layer of insanity.

"Ok. Just checking," he said before looking back out the passenger side window.

…

"But did you mean what _you_ said?" Eric asked, though he was still not ready to hear the truth. "That you only really see our relationship as short term and aren't invested enough in making this anything more?"

Swallowing a lump of nerves, Eric sighed slightly as he concluded, "Because that's what I got from that whole… 'I'm not sure if this will ultimately work out' thing you said before I snapped."

…

"That's not what I said!" Kyle argued, whipping around to glare at the brunet. "I told you the truth. That I don't trust you and I'm not sure I ever will, so maybe you're wasting your time. I never said I didn't _want_ it to work out, just that I wasn't sure it _would_. I was being a FUCKING realist!"

He crossed his arms and turned to face forward, expression set in a glare. "Way to fucking put words in my mouth," he muttered bitterly. "And you make it sound like you snapped right after I said that. No. You made it seem like everything was ok." He looked out the window again to hide how hurt and confused the memory made him feel. "You _tricked me_ into thinking we were fine so I would take your hand, and _then_ you snapped. Fucking lunatic."

…

"I'm just saying that's how I felt!" Eric argued back, letting go of the steering wheel for a split second to throw his hands up. "I'm not trying to shove words in your mouth. If anything I wanted you to disprove what I thought… and I _guess_ you just did."

After a minute or two of silence, he decided to speak back up, "And I already told you that I shouldn't have done what I did… there's no reason to bring it back up."

Still not finished with his train of thought, Eric let out an exasperated sigh. "Listen, I know it's really hard to communicate with someone that you normally only fight with… but I will say that I've been trying to be cordial in the way that I word things. For some reason, though, you only want to find the fight in what I say. I assure you that I will make it _obvious_ when I want to pick a fight… as I tend to do."

…

"Oh, gee, thanks for going easy on me," Kyle spat sarcastically, turning to once again glare at the brunet. "Sorry I'm so _retarded_ when it comes to communicating with people."

He shifted in his seat before continuing, "So what, you're constantly holding back from saying and doing what you want? Fuck, Cartman, if you have to do that then obviously _I'm_ not the only one who thinks this won't work out."

…

"Kyle there's a difference between censoring myself and randomly shouting hurtful comments just to spite you," Eric argued again. "Yeah I used to do that shit, but now that I have a real and working relationship with you that I actually want to maintain, my interests have changed."

Meekly grasping one of Kyle's hands to gently thumb his palm, Eric informed, "I'm more interested in staying with you than I am in pissing you off… even though the latter is still very, very entertaining." He gave one of Kyle's fingers a toying flick before letting go and placing his hand back on the steering wheel.

…

"But obviously there've been things you've wanted to say to me but haven't, otherwise you wouldn't have said you've been watching how you word things," Kyle retorted, though his tone was less argumentative now. "If you can't let go and be yourself around me, then I'll _never_ be able to trust you."

"I just… I feel like I don't know you at all. I thought maybe the 'real you' was the person I've been going out with, or maybe that you were the same psychotic child just _pretending_ to be nice. But was the psychotic version of yourself the real you? Fuck if I know. I have no idea who you are. I never have. And _that _is why I can't just open up to you, Cartman," he admitted with a sigh. "You berate me for holding back, but obviously you're doing the same thing."

He laughed, thinking about how silly it was to have known someone for almost your entire life and still have no idea who they really were on the inside. "You know," he added thoughtfully, no longer laughing. "Part of me thinks that you pushing me at the lodge was the only time you've actually _let go_ during this whole thing. Maybe making you snap is the only way I'll ever be able to see the real you."

…

"That's not true!" Eric combated. "That wasn't who I really was, that was just me when I was REALLY pissed off!"

"I don't want to hold back," he admitted, shifting in his seat. "I just feel like I have to because I think I'm at a different level than you are when it comes to… how we feel about this whole thing." He glanced over to Kyle. "I don't want to scare you away… but at the same time, I do want to incite you." He laughed, narrowing his eyes as he looked back to the road. "So having to balance all that out is really tricky and I'm sorry if that comes off as me 'holding back'."

…

"It's ok. I understand," Kyle said, turning back to the window again. He felt oddly… disappointed. He had sort of been hoping that Cartman would tell him their entire childhood was a lie and that all of his anti-Semitic, psychotic behavior was just part of an elaborate cover up. That the 'real' him was someone else entirely. But that couldn't be true. No one was that good at acting, and Kyle wasn't sure what the point of it would have been anyway. Because why would anyone _want _to make the world hate them?

…

"However," Eric added, giving Kyle a quick glance. "I hope that we can get to a point where I don't have to hold back and _can_ be completely honest with you." He thought that by now Kyle probably knew that neither of them was being transparent and there were obviously still some secrets between them. "I just don't think you're ready for it."

…

As much as Kyle wanted to retort with some variation of '_don't patronize me; I'm ready for anything'_, he knew in the back of his mind that maybe he _wasn't_ ready for complete honesty from Cartman. As he told Wendy, he didn't want to be let down. And total openness from Cartman would inevitably only let him down. He wasn't sure if he could handle knowing the 'real' Eric Cartman.

"Where are we going?" he asked after a moment, choosing not to prolong the conversation.

…

"I don't know… I've been trying to figure that out," Eric responded as they approached a town, trying to gather little bits and pieces of where they could be. He couldn't tell where exactly they were as the town was unfamiliar to him, but this did not concern him much since they could just pass right through it.

Laughing to himself, he looked back to Kyle. "And here I thought I've been everywhere in this God awful state."

…

Kyle looked out the window as they entered the new town, noticing a few store signs with the name 'Hartsel' on them. He realized that Cartman must have just been absentmindedly heading East, because he'd totally been here before. "Don't worry, I've come here with my dad for client meetings before," he informed the brunet, laughing lightly. "Back when he was trying to get me to want to be a lawyer."

"Turn up here," he said after a moment, signaling to a dirt road on the right. "There's a river like right here. Let's stop for a minute."

…

"Kay," Eric responded as he followed Kyle's instructions, obviously trusting that the redhead knew what he was saying and wouldn't get them lost. Right after he made the turn, Eric saw the river that Kyle was talking about.

Parking his car in the cleared out dirt area by the shore, Eric turned off the engine and commented, "Gotta say, it's a pretty awesome day to do something like this…"

…

"Yeah it's really nice out," Kyle agreed, getting out of the car. He walked around to the front and waited for Cartman to join him. Once he did, Kyle immediately grabbed the brunet's shirt collar and pulled him into a short kiss.

"Don't hold back too much, ok?" he suggested before turning around to walk to the river's shore.

…

Reeling back a bit from the surprise kiss, Eric smiled. "Now now Kyle, you'll never have to worry about me holding back from stuff like _that_," he muttered, pressing the button to lock his car.

Once he joined Kyle at the river's edge, Eric watched the current to see how fast it was going before he noted, "It's actually not going that fast!" He turned to face Kyle. "Do you um… wanna get in?" He laughed, not really knowing how his Jew would respond.

…

"Are you kidding?" Kyle asked, giving the brunet an incredulous look. "That water's probably cold as fuck. Let's just… sit on the shore and throw rocks in or something." He shrugged, hugging his arms to his chest at the mere thought of actually going in the river.

…

"Typical," Eric joked as he spotted a large rock about three feet away from the shore that they could sit on. He made his way over to it, and once seated, looked back over to Kyle. "What's the matter? Don't wanna get your Jew fro wet?"

…

"Ok – _one,_ it's not about my hair. I just fucking _said _the water was cold," Kyle snapped back, stepping gingerly onto a small rock located between the shore and where Cartman was. "And _two_, my hair's not a fucking _fro_ anymore, in case you haven't noticed." He made it to the larger rock and sat down next to the brunet. He leaned over a bit to dip his hand into the water. _Yup, cold._ _Does Cartman not realize we live in the mountains? Idiot._

…

"Well you are as skinny as a toothpick," Eric commented before leaning down to gather a couple of rocks. "I guess you wouldn't last long in there with nothing to keep you warm." Reeling back his arm to throw his first rock into the river, Eric smirked as an idea suddenly came to mind. "Unless I get in there first and then _I'll_ keep you warm."

…

"Go ahead," Kyle shrugged, bringing his legs into his chest to rest his chin on his knees. "I'm not going in though. I don't feel like it."

…

"I just wanna see how long I last," Eric commented as he stood up. "But why are you being such a mope?" He wriggled out of his T-shirt and casually tossed it onto the rock next to Kyle. "This was supposed to be a fun day," he reminded as he started to undo his belt.

…

"Actually, the initial purpose of the day was to talk about what happened on Friday," Kyle pointed out, straightening his legs out in front of him. "I wasn't looking for some grand adventure. I just wanted to drive and talk."

…

"And we _did_ talk about what happened on Friday," Eric slipped out of his pants and laid them next to his shirt, taking in the sun as he stood in his boxers. "Unless there's something else you wanna tell me?" He looked down at Kyle, stretching himself before crossing his arms contemplatively.

…

"No, I guess not," Kyle said, picking up a small pebble and lightly tossing it into the river.

…

"You _guess_ not?" Eric asked as he approached river bank, a little reluctant to put a foot in. "We're out here by ourselves Kyle, if there's anything you want to talk about do it now. I mean, I still think there are relationship logistics that we have yet to work out…"

…

Kyle watched as Cartman stood on the shore of the river, preparing himself for the water's temperature, and sighed. "I told Wendy about us," he said simply, though he hadn't exactly intended on letting that piece of information slip today.

…

Eric was just about to step in the river, but as soon as Kyle mentioned that horrific detail he stopped all together and shot his Jew a terrified look. "You _what_?"

…

"I told Wendy about us," Kyle repeated, more loudly this time. "The other day."

…

"But…" Eric shook his head in disbelief. "She hates me!" His face grew serious and he quickly walked back over to the rock to stand in front of Kyle. "You told her everything?" he scoffed. "What did she say?"

…

"Well she does hate you. That's for sure," Kyle agreed, smiling only slightly. "And she's keeping an eye on you. But I guess she suspected something when we ran into her and Stan at the fair, so she wasn't really surprised by it." He paused a moment to just look into Cartman's eyes before sighing. "She was actually the one who told me what you had meant by… what you said on Friday. About the past and… all that."

…

"Wait, so you didn't figure that out on your own?" Eric asked, climbing back into the rock to sit next to Kyle. "Whatever, as I said, I didn't mean it. But what do you mean she's 'keeping an eye on me'?" He furrowed his brow, trying to put together what Wendy's intentions really were. "So she's… okay with it?"

…

"For now I guess," Kyle said, shrugging. "She was really pissed when I told her about what you did on Friday… I had to convince her it wasn't like how she was saying it was… I'm not sure if she totally believed me, but she's not going to like… try to get me to stop. And she said she won't tell Stan. So… it's no big deal."

He hugged his knees into his chest again. "And no… I didn't realize that's what you meant."

…

"Well as long as she's not chasing me down with a machete or anything I guess that's okay," Eric concluded, shrugging. "And if she really does mean what she said, maybe we should have her there when we eventually tell Stan."

Glancing up towards the sky, Eric laid down on his back to warm himself up. "But before any of that happens I think that we should at least define some of the finer details about what we're doing here. Like, is this an open relationship or would you rather us stay committed?"

…

Kyle shrugged. "I thought this was exclusive. That's how we've been treating it anyway," he pointed out. "So I guess that's what it is."

…

"Good." Eric breathed a sigh of relief. "Because that's what I wanted this to be." He smiled, bringing one of his arms up to smooth over his hair as he looked up at the bright afternoon sky. "I can't imagine sharing you… that's just something I could never do."

Shaking off that horrible thought, Eric thought of something much more pleasant. "Well then… if we're exclusive then does that make me your _boyfriend_?"

…

Kyle frowned and flushed a bit. "Um… I guess," he admitted reluctantly. "But… let's avoid using that term as much as possible. Ok?"

…

Eric smiled brightly as he stood up. "What? Not one for labels?" He walked behind where Kyle was seated. "I'm not a fan of the whole 'boyfriend/girlfriend' stupid bubblegum crap either but…" He crouched to wrap his arms around Kyle's shoulders, lowering his head so that he could whisper, "_I'm liking this transition_."

…

Kyle nodded and reached up to touch Cartman's forearm. "Want to head back now? I'm kind of done with the river."

…

"That's too bad, Kyle," Eric smirked, suddenly bringing his arms down to grasp Kyle's torso so he could lift him up off the rock. "Because we're going in for a dip!"

…

"NO! CARTMAN!" Kyle cried out, struggling to get out of the brunet's hold. "PUT ME DOWN, ASSHOLE!"

…

"Nope!" Eric exclaimed, tightening his grip as he dragged the flailing Kyle towards the river bank. "You are DEFINITELY getting wet, Jew."

…

"FUCK YOU!" Kyle yelled, roughly kicking at Cartman's shins and pushing down on his arms in an attempt to wriggle out of his grasp. _God damn it, how did he get to be so strong?_"STOP IT I SWEAR TO GOD! I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO GO IN, FUCK FACE!"

…

Struggling to keep Kyle in his hold, Eric finally took his first step into the water and winced from how cold it was. "Oh fuck, Jew… you're gonna HATE this," he laughed, ignoring the painful chill of the water as he waded in up to his shins.

…

Kyle, in an attempt to control his mounting rage, took a deep breath and stopped moving, becoming dead weight in the brunet's arms. "Cartman, I would _appreciate it_ if you would turn around now," he said slowly, trying to keep his voice steady as he enunciated every word. "I _believe_ I told you I didn't want to go in the river. If you would please listen to me for _once_, that would be _nice_."

…

Once he heard Kyle calmly instruct him to let go after going limp in his arms, Eric knew the game was over. Clenching his teeth, Eric slowly let go of Kyle before stepping further into the river. "Ugh fine… sue me for trying to get you to step out of your comfort zone."

However, with a devious smirk, Eric suddenly threw himself down into the water with an enormous SPLASH that soaked Kyle.

…

"FUCKING SHIT!" Kyle yelled as the cold-ass water hit him. Gasping from the temperature change, he quickly turned around and trudged back to shore. His shoes were full of water and his pants were soaked from Cartman inconsiderately setting him down while he was _still in the river_, and now the rest of him was wet as well… all because he was dating a fucking asshole.

"FUCK YOU!" he called as he made his way back toward the car. Once there, he hopped up onto the hood and took off his soaking wet shoes and socks. Cartman was not as cute as he apparently thought he was, that was for _fucking_ sure. "Fucking fatass..."

…

Laughing as he followed Kyle back to the car, Eric used his shirt to dry himself off. "Well that was refreshing!" he exclaimed as he threw his shoes down next to the car so he could slip into his jeans. "I bet you've got a clear mind now, don't you?" He peered at the fuming redhead as he adjusted his belt.

…

"Fuck off," Kyle said, hopping off of the car and grabbing his shoes. He used his free hand to give Cartman the finger as he made his way around to the passenger side door. Finding it locked, he huffed and leaned against the car, looking away from Cartman. "I told you I didn't want to get wet. Why do you _never _listen to me? I basically fucking admitted that you're my boyfriend, and then you go and disregard a simple fucking request. Nice, real nice."

…

"It's like you're ALLERGIC to fun!" Eric joked as he put on his shoes. Not bothering to tie them, he then crumpled up his wet shirt and walked over to Kyle. "Wasn't your cousin like allergic to everything?" He leaned against the car and nudged the redhead with his shoulder. "Maybe it's a Jew thing. Every Jew is allergic to something and _you're_ allergic to fun… and sugar."

Coming to an epiphany, Eric snapped his fingers as he stepped away from the car to face Kyle. "That's it! That's why you're allergic to fun! You can't eat delicious sugary things without dying!"

…

"Just unlock the door," Kyle requested blankly.

…

"Stop it," Eric demanded as he placed both of his hands on the roof of the car, essentially trapping Kyle between his arms. "You look so flustered."Gently lowering his head down to rest it on Kyle's forehead, Eric spoke just above a whisper as he growled, "_You want me to calm you down_?" A couple beads of water ran down his soaked bangs as he edged toward Kyle's lips.

…

"I want you…" Kyle began in a whisper, and then smirked. "To unlock the car."

…

Eric chuckled when he heard Kyle so sensually suggest that that they up the ante, but as soon as Kyle cut to the chase the brunet frowned. "We'll leave shortly I assure you." He leaned in so that his lips were next to his Jew's ear. "_But how are you going to convince me, huh?"_ he whispered before daringly nipping Kyle's earlobe.

…

"Well…" Kyle started, placing the palms of his hands on Cartman's chest. "I could knee you in the balls. Would that work?"

He turned his head to look the brunet in the eyes, face set in a glare. "I'm mad at you for almost throwing me in the river," he reminded. "I'm not doing anything with you right now."

…

Eric made eye contact with Kyle as he continued to press him against the side of the car. "I did _not_ almost throw you in the river Jew, I _set you down_," he argued. "If anything I just provided you some refreshing cool water on a nice warm summer day that's all." After sugarcoating the situation, Eric slid his hands down to rest them on Kyle's hips as he warned, "And you better not kick me in the balls Kyle or I'll fucking leave you here."

…

"That's fine. I'll just hitch-hike my way back and end up dead in a ditch somewhere," Kyle stated casually, shrugging as he looked at the ground. "Or… I'll just hang around Hartsel and find a nice boy to hook up with, who will eventually give me a ride home." He flicked his eyes back up to meet Cartman's. "Either way you'll regret leaving me here."

…

Fiercely shoving himself against Kyle, Eric scowled. "_Don't you even joke about that_," he seethed before crashing his lips against Kyle's.

…

Parting his lips in surprise, Kyle immediately melted, despite how annoyed he was with Cartman. He placed his hands on the brunet's shoulders to pull him in more as he responded eagerly to the kiss.

…

Loving the feeling of Kyle's hands on his bare skin, Eric held Kyle in a tight embrace for a minute longer than usual since this was their first kiss in their new, _established_ relationship. He wanted to remember this moment forever – him standing shirtless while kissing Kyle against his car on a warm summer day, just after throwing himself in the river. Everything was so careless and sudden; he never expected any of this to happen… but it just did, and it felt so natural.

Breaking the kiss to give Kyle a chaste peck on the forehead, Eric then patted Kyle's shoulder before walking towards the driver's side of the car. "You win, let's get inside." He reached inside his pants pocket for his keys and pressed the button to unlock the car.

…

Smirking over his victory, Kyle opened the passenger side door and got in the car. After buckling his seatbelt and shutting the door, he looked over to watch as Cartman also got settled in. "So what annoyed you more?" he asked smugly. "The thought of me dead or with someone else?"

…

"Both options were equally horrible," Eric responded as he started up the car. "What annoyed _you_ more? Me splashing you with ice cold water or comparing you to your cousin?" he joked, shifting the car into drive.

…

"Splashing me with cold water," Kyle said matter-of-factly, as if his answer should have been obvious. "I'm well aware that my cousin and I aren't much alike, so I really don't care if you say otherwise."

He then looked out the window. "You know how to get back right?"

…

"Yeah, isn't this Route 9 right here?" Eric asked as he made a u-turn to go back the way they came. "Regardless, it's not like I've got anywhere to be tonight anyway." He threw his Jew a small smile before reaching over to grasp his hand.

…

"Just making sure," Kyle said as Cartman made the appropriate left turn back onto Route 9. "Because I have to be home for dinner, and it's…" He checked his cell phone. "Four thirty now, so… yeah, don't get lost."

…

"Ugh do you HAVE to be home for dinner?" Eric asked, rolling his eyes. "You know you're welcome to stay over my house and have dinner with my mom and I." Thumbing Kyle's hand, Eric shot him a provocative look before adding, "And then for dessert how about we _consummate_ this new development in our relationship hmm?"

…

Kyle let out a small exasperated noise and pulled his hand away from Cartman's. "I have to be home for dinner," he repeated.

…

"Is that your mom saying that or you?" Eric asked, taking his hand back and sighing. "Sometimes I can't tell."

…

"I'm saying it," Kyle said firmly. Cartman should really know by now that if he said no or that he had to be somewhere else, that was it. Kyle didn't understand why it always had to result in questions about why and for how long. To him it seemed perfectly reasonable not to want to spend every waking moment with Cartman or to want, of his _own_ accord, to eat dinner with his family.

…

"_Whoa,_ okay." Eric raised his eyebrows, but continued to focus on the road. "Sorry for wanting to spend a little more time with you after everything we've concluded today." He gripped the steering wheel as he let out a long exasperated breath.

…

"It's ok. I just want to go home," Kyle responded simply. "_Sorry_ for wanting to have dinner with my family."

…

"I'll drive you home, Jew," Eric replied snidely as he relaxed into his seat. "It just… it feels weird." He sighed again, trying to collect his thoughts as he continued to drive. "That as far as we've come in this, we still have to be so covert about everything. I mean, I can talk to my mom about this, and I definitely will tonight but… you _don't_ have anyone to talk about this, except Wendy and Kenny and I'd barely call them 'supportive'."

Pursing his lips, Eric turned his head in Kyle's direction for a second as he concluded, "It's just that I like to see when you're excited about this, and since you don't have anyone to be excited with… it feels like you're just playing through the motions and that you don't really care about what happens."

…

"What are you trying to say?" Kyle asked, somewhat accusingly. "Wendy and Kenny are fine, thanks. And I don't _need_ to explain my day in detail to people and squeal about stupid shit like a girl. You're not making any fucking sense."

…

"_No_! Why are you turning this around! I'm just saying that I'm concerned about the amount of support we have and if we're carrying out this relationship in a healthy environment," Eric argued. "For instance, over at my house I'm positive that we can be ourselves and act naturally. Everywhere else we go I know it's going to be difficult."

He calmed down a bit as he got to his point, "You mentioning that you didn't want to go over my house just reminded me that it's the only place where we can go when it comes to 'being' with each other."

…

"Oh. Well, that doesn't change the fact that I'm eating dinner at my house tonight," Kyle confirmed, looking out the window. Cartman couldn't _possibly_ expect him to spend all of his time over at his house, just because his mom knew about them. Sure, they could be themselves there, but fuck, Kyle had a life outside of Cartman and he wasn't about to sacrifice time with his friends or family just because Cartman wanted him to, especially if all _he_ wanted to do was 'consummate' the relationship.

…

"That's why I'm taking you home," Eric concluded, shaking his head before laughing slightly. "Geez, as much as I love seeing you fly off the handle, I'd like it if you would see some things from my point of view sometimes."

Thinking over what he just said, Eric lightened his tone a tad as he pointed out, "You know what it is? You assume things too much. Like, sometimes I think you assume that I'm just some asshole that wants to get into your pants or that I'm some clueless idiot that has no idea how to act in public. Is this why you're so afraid to reveal our relationship to your parents?" He glanced over at Kyle. "I mean, what If I show up and I look AWESOME and come off as super refined? I can do that you know."

…

"It's not that. I know you can act like a normal human being when you want to," Kyle said, rolling his eyes. "It's that my mom has hated you for years, and she's protective of me. No matter how awesome and nice you act around her now, it won't change how she feels about you. She's more stubborn than I am."

…

Eric fidgeted in his seat uncomfortably, knowing that Kyle's mom would definitely be an obstacle. "Well I think telling Stan would be good practice… I mean, do you have the confidence necessary to defend us properly now?" he asked hopefully, not really knowing if they were at that point yet.

…

Kyle sighed and leaned his head against the window. "I don't know. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

…

"I don't either!" Eric exclaimed, shrugging. "I just like knowing we're going in the right direction!" He then sighed and kept quiet the rest of the way home.

The sun was still up, but was making its way toward the mountain range by the time Eric pulled into the South Park city limits. He knew that while his relationship with Kyle was slowly making progress, there was still a lot that needed to happen before his Jew would feel completely comfortable in a real and honest relationship with him.

Yet Eric knew to get Kyle to feel that comfortable he couldn't dwell on negatives. So pulling into Kyle's street, the brunet slowed down considerably before stating, "Okay Kyle… you're almost home." He slowly stopped just before Kyle's house and put his car into park. "But as you should know by now… you have to pay a price for me to unlock the car." He then pressed the child lock button and rested back into his seat, giving Kyle a mischievous smirk.

…

"You're really child locking me in right now?" Kyle asked, raising an eyebrow. "What do you want me to do?"

…

"Relax," Eric assured, leaning in closer as he narrowed his eyes. "I just want you to kiss me again." He laughed, reaching a hand out to gently touch Kyle's thigh.

…

"Oh," Kyle said, smirking. He leaned forward and brushed his lips against Cartman's. "You know, you don't have to kidnap me to get me to kiss you. Not at this point," he reminded before closing the gap between them in a more firm kiss.

…

Smiling into the kiss, Eric nipped Kyle's lip before growling, "Then what _do_ I need to kidnap you for, _hmm?"_ He slid his hand further up the redhead's thigh before attacking his mouth again.

…

Kyle leaned into the kiss for another moment before gently pulling away. "We shouldn't do this so out in the open," he said, grabbing Cartman's hand to move it away from his crotch. "But for the record, I don't think kidnapping is necessary at all anymore."

…

"Well that's nice to know," Eric responded as he grasped the hand Kyle used to halt his actions. "_But it still sounds like fun_." He clicked his tongue and shot Kyle a suggestive glance.

Then he carried Kyle's hand up to his mouth and gave it a teasing kiss. "So have fun with the fam tonight… and if you get bored just sign on or give me a call I guess." He reluctantly let go of Kyle's hand and unlocked the door, granting Kyle his 'freedom'.

…

"Yeah. Will do," Kyle said as he moved to open the door. He unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out the car, but before shutting the door behind him, he lean down to look back at Cartman. "And maybe sometime, eventually, we can… do the kidnapping thing. Not for real, though. For fun." He smirked suggestively, slamming the door shut before the brunet could respond, and made his way up toward his house.

…

_That was a joke_, Eric reasoned to himself as he stared after Kyle with saucers for eyes. He slowly lowered his gaze to his crotch and, for a moment, stopped breathing all together. Stunned beyond belief, he shifted around in his seat before putting his car into drive. A devilish smile ran across his face as he recollected what Kyle had just said to him. _Or was it?_

…

**A/N:** Okay. So. This is the last chapter of this fic. Sorry, guys. Due to schedule conflicts and the general lack of free time because of school on one end and a full time job on the other, we won't be continuing this fanfic.

However, if you want further reading, you can go to the Over Blogging RP and LJ. The RP started after this fic was put on hold for the spring semester, so everything that has happened in that RP is a continuation of what happened in this fic.

**A couple notes about that, though:** Interactions with Kenny, Wendy, Stan, Butters and the Goths ARE NOT CANON to Over Blogging. Also the fact that this fic took place in the summer is retconned to the winter time for Over Blogging. The German lodge also does not exist in real life, so it is also not canon to Over Blogging (that was retconned to a nice restaurant in Breckenridge or something). The ONLY things in this fic that are absolutely canon to the Over Blogging RP are the actual interactions between Eric and Kyle. What they say to each other, what they do to each other, what they think about each other, etc.

**So on that note, if you're actually interested in where their relationship went after this, there are links to the main Tumblr page, the main LJ page, Cartman and Kyle's individual Tumblrs, and Cartman and Kyle's individual LJs on our author page here.**

I would obviously suggest starting at the beginning, _especially_ for the LiveJournals haha.

**A short summary, for those who don't want to read all that stuff, would be: **Cartman and Kyle broke up shortly after what happened in this chapter, for various reasons. They got back together a few weeks later, but only stayed together for another few weeks before Kyle ended it again (this is where the LiveJournals begin). They have not gotten back together since, and Kyle is currently dating someone else. Sorry for not having a "happy ending" haha, but it just wasn't meant to be. However, Over Blogging is ongoing so obviously other things could happen.

So, sorry again, but real life happens sometimes. Thanks for all your awesome reviews, everyone!


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